It's Just the Rain

Once in your life you love

Once in your life you try

The one you're holding,

Is the one that tears you apart

Deep in her arms you lie

Deep in the night her eyes

Tell your secrets

To the one you try to deny

Touch me

Touch me crazy,

How your

Kiss betrays me

It's not the love,

It's just the rain,

Two broken hearts,

But not in vain

It's not the love,

It's just the rain

Inside you keep on lying

Inside your soul is dying

Still can't hold back,

Still you can't say...Goodbye

~It's Just the Rain by Journey

Harry sighed softly and opened his eyes. He wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. The heavy pitter-patter of the rain wasn't helping much. He remotely thought it was fitting, since he was so ridden with guilt, anyway. Of course, he deserved it. He really did.

The warm body snuggled against his back wasn't helping him any either. It was remotely his and her fault. But mostly his. He stayed that way for a few more minutes and finally, his body started aching, so he turned the other way, and came face-to-face with the source of his guilt.

His eyes screwed shut as tears threatened to fall, again. It just kept replaying over and over again. He would never be rid of it. His last night with Draco, then the events leading up to it that caused their downfall.

Harry turned over and faced the sleeping form on his left. Draco really was beautiful in his own way. The way the moonlight played across his pale features made him look unearthly-- ethereal, even. Especially in sleep, when his worries fled from his mind and he looked peaceful. Harry sighed softly and kissed Draco's lips, and the blonde roused slightly. "What is it?" he mumbled groggily, his silver eyes opening somewhat.

Harry smiled. "Nothing. I just, well, I wanted to kiss you is all."

Draco smirked, and his eyes opened fully. "Oh. Well, in that case, kiss me properly, Harry," he said. Then, to contradict himself, he reached over and pulled Harry to him in a passionate kiss, now fully awake.

Harry returned the kiss enthusiastically. He loved Draco with every cell of his body and more, but he'd never said anything. He just let his actions speak for him. The kiss eventually turned into more, and the room was silent save for the breathless moans and whispers, and the gentle creaking of the bed.

Harry made it home before the sun rose, and slipped inside of his own bed, a smile on his face. No one knew of his and Draco's relationship-- not even Ron or Hermione. Draco wasn't ready, but Harry didn't mind. He'd wait forever if he had to. It started out as a casual sex-buddy thing, letting out the pain and worry of Voldemort the only way they both knew how. It turned into something more, though, and they both knew it. It had continued outside of Hogwarts, and it was reaching their "two year anniversary", as Harry thought of it. They weren't official or anything, but it was an anniversary nonetheless.

They hadn't ever said "I love you" to one another, however. Harry almost did, once, as he was reaching orgasm inside of Draco, but he held it back. He had no idea how Draco would react and he wasn't about to risk it, no matter how much of a Gryffindor he was.

He eventually shut down his thoughts and drifted to sleep, dreaming of Draco and his beautiful, ethereal face.

Harry jumped as a hurried knock told him someone was at the door, and from the sound of it, that someone was either mad, or extremely anxious to see him. He opened it and Hermione rushed at him, tears streaking her face, her eyes already red and puffy as if she'd been crying for some time now.

"Oh Harry!" she wailed, and clutched him, sobbing into his chest. Harry led her into the living room of his flat and sat her down.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter, 'Mione? Shhh, tell me what's wrong," he whispered, wiping her tears off her face.

She let out a dry sob and sniffled a little. "R-Ron, he...oh, Harry, he was with Parvati Patil in our bed, and I found him just now, and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go, so I came here, and I just don't know what to do," she rambled, the last part coming out in a worried whisper.

Harry pulled her to him for a hug, caressing her now tamed hair as he rocked her back and forth slightly. "Hey, it's ok. You've got me," he said softly.

Hermione pulled away and looked at him lovingly. "Oh, thank you, Harry. I just," She sighed. "I really need someone right now." She leaned in and kissed him, her soft lips pliant against his.

Harry pulled back in shock. "Hermione, I--"

Hermione's hand flew to her mouth in shame. "Oh, I had no idea you were seeing someone. I'm so sorry, Harry!" she said, blushing brilliantly. She looked down quickly to avoid his gaze.

Harry was torn. Hermione really needed him, but he couldn't do this to Draco. Maybe he would understand. After all, they started out as comfort, right? Harry tilted Hermione's chin up and kissed her, and as she gasped softly, he deepened the kiss and pulled her against his body. In no time at all, they were skin against skin, and Harry was inside of her, rocking gently as her breathless moans spurred him on. But Harry wasn't thinking of her. He was imagining it was Draco beneath him. Only Draco.

Later, as she slept against him, he stayed awake, worrying how he was going to tell Draco. He shouldn't have even bothered.

There was a crack, and Harry looked up to see Draco looking at him with shock, but it quickly transformed into undisguised fury. "How could you?" he asked, his voice shaking with anger.

Harry bolted up and tried to reach out for him. "Draco, I can explain--"

Draco jerked away from him. "Fuck you," he spat, his silver eyes cold and harsh. With a crack, he Disapparated.

Harry gazed at Hermione's face as lightening struck and illuminated it. She didn't look a thing like Draco had when lightening lit up his face. She looked like...Hermione. Just Hermione.

It had been two weeks since that incident, and Harry hadn't heard or seen Draco. And it hurt. He didn't even know why he was still sleeping with Hermione. He didn't feel anything except love for her as a brother would. He was never making love to her-- it was always Draco.

He was simply lying to himself, thinking maybe, just maybe, Draco would see that it was him he loved, and he'd come back. Harry was dying inside. He didn't think he could go on much longer without telling Draco how he felt. Even if the blonde still shunned him, he had to know. Harry just couldn't accept it. He wouldn't say goodbye like this.

Harry silently got up and got dressed, and slipped outside. He never liked Apparating much. It was still raining heavily, but Harry didn't care. He had to get to Draco. He shivered and wrapped his arms around himself for warmth, although it wouldn't help. Nothing but Draco could warm him now. Harry hesitated for a moment as he exited the fence surrounding his flat. There was a dark figure leaning against the street lamp outside his gate. Suddenly a streak of lightening illuminated the street and...

"Draco," he whispered in shock, "Draco, you have to--"

"I don't have to do anything, Potter," Draco said icily, sneering Harry's surname purposely.

Harry sighed wearily. "Please listen to me," he said softly. "It wasn't what it looked like. Well, I mean, it was, but not like that. You--" Harry hesitated. He had been about to say 'You have to believe me', but thought better of it. "Please believe me."

Draco stepped into the light of the street lamp above them, and when Harry saw the coldness in his eyes, he shuddered. "Why? Why the fuck did you do it?" he asked coldly.

"She was hurt. She needed comfort, I thought you more than anyone would understand that, Draco," Harry said, his hopes elating just a bit.

"Don't call me that," came Draco’s reply in a harsh voice.

Harry winced. "Alright, if you're so furious with me, why are you here? If you can't believe me, why--" Harry stopped speaking and closed the space between them, pushing Draco against the street lamp. He brushed his lips against Draco's, so softly it couldn't possibly be called a kiss. Draco's lips trembled, betraying his emotions. "Why do I still affect you so?" he whispered, noting how the blonde's breathing became harsh and something was pressing into his thigh.

Draco's face contorted in anger. "Get away from me, you fucking bastard," he hissed, struggling to push Harry off. But Harry was bigger, so it wasn't helping much.

"Draco, answer me. I already know, but I have to hear it," Harry pleaded.

Draco's eyes were filled with fury, and his hair was drenched as the rain came down on them in torrents. He shook his head to get it out of his eyes. "Potter, I was passing by, and what's against your thigh is my wand-- literally. Let. Me. Go." he ground out.

Harry didn't believe him. He couldn't. It just couldn't be true. "I love you. I don't care if you can't tell me the truth, but I'm telling you the truth. I love you." He let go and stepped away, trembling.

Draco's shoulders sagged and shook slightly, and his face seemed to be crumbling. Harry's hopes raised again. "You love me, don't you?" he said softly. "I can feel it Draco. I can see it in your tears."

Draco turned and started to walk away.

Harry couldn't believe it. Draco was walking away-- away from him. They were saying goodbye...no, not like this. It couldn't end like this. "Draco! You love me! I know it!" he yelled, his voice breaking as he choked back a sob.

Draco turned only for a moment, the rain that was pouring down his pale face mingling with his tears, and said softly, "No, Potter. It's just the rain."

Then, he left Harry there, the rain hiding his tears as well.