Undefined

Chapter 19

New Beginnings

Draco's conversation with Hermione had given him something he thought he'd lost for good: hope. While he never got the nerve to approach Harry, Hermione's nods and small smiles filled Draco with a sense of optimism he didn't know he was capable of feeling. He looked to those he considered friends and realized they had never given him this feeling of...it was too unique for him to properly name, but she made him feel as though he were not alone in the world and that she at least, on some fundamental level, understood where he was coming from. He's a moron, Draco thought as he watched Hermione and Ron walk hand in hand down the corridor, he's a fucking moron if he fucks it up with her.

***

Sometime in February, Draco attended another meeting with the O.S. and found this one much more entertaining than the last. At least he was the point of discussion and Avery did not bother giving another five-hour speech on governmental procedures.

"He has excelled beyond anything we could have imagined," Snape said of Draco. "The time is nearing when we need to move from a theoretical approach to a more practical one."

"Practical?" Draco asked, sitting up straight in his chair. "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means you will be trained under strenuous circumstances similar to those you will encounter in battle."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, your next set of training will take place outside of school grounds in conditions conducive to preparing you for battle."

"Where?" Draco demanded.

"That has to be sorted out first," Snape said. "Rookwood, what do you have to report on the Inferi?"

"We've isolated an area with the capacity of holding around twenty thousand," Rookwood said, leaning far over his knees. "We've implemented several precautions to ensure no outside interference. Avery's working on drawing up a list of names, so we can start filling the area."

"With Muggles?" Draco asked.

"Muggles, Mudbloods, blood-traitors, makes no difference," Rookwood continued. "If they aren't with us, they're privy to elimination."

"But..." Draco began, thinking immediately of Hermione and Ron. "Is that the best option?"

"What do you mean?" Lucius asked.

"An outside area, what if someone happens across it? Isn't it safer to confine such operations within a building?"

"What sort of building?" Snape asked.

"I don't know, anywhere...the Ministry maybe?" Draco asked, grasping at straws.

Nott, Avery, Rookwood, Snape and Lucius all exchanged a meaningful look.

"Interesting," Avery said, and Draco had the distinct impression he'd just passed some sort of impromptu exam.

"Very," Rookwood said, scratching his chin. "If we could isolate a unit within the Ministry and pull that off, it would undermine the entire government."

"It's worth a look," Avery said. "I can do a survey and use my contacts."

"Do it," Snape said. "Report back next week."

Draco felt his face flush; he never thought his wild idea would be taken seriously.

Draco sat at breakfast the following morning mulling over the details from the previous evening's meeting, Nott throwing him significant looks. Draco couldn't hide his surprise in the Order's response to his suggestion, and he secretly hoped, though he'd never allow himself to think this more than once, that it would fail and that the Order's implementation of the Ministry would prove disastrous and that the entire operation would be exposed. He knew he would serve as the scapegoat, but in the end it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, Draco realized, except for the boy who walked stiffly by with Ron and Hermione and slumped miserably into a seat at the Gryffindor table. You can fix anything if you work hard enough, Hermione had said. Rage the likes of which nearly paralyzed him exploded in Draco's chest as Pansy sat down next to him. Draco glanced to Hermione and saw her eyes scan between the pair of them.

"I slept terribly last night," Pansy pouted.

Draco took a bite of his toast and completely ignored her.

"Where were you last night?" she asked.

"Out," Draco said, fighting the urge to throw her across the room.

"Well, I thought maybe..." she said, placing her hand on his leg.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Draco screamed as he jumped up. "DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!"

He didn't care that the entire Slytherin table turned and stared as he stomped off. Such outbursts were common among other tables, given the Slytherin trademark of self-restraint. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she stayed as far away from him as humanly possible.

Hermione slipped Draco a note in Transfiguration as she passed and sat down without looking at him. Meet us by the edge of the Forbidden Forest at 8:00 her neat scrawl read. He nodded to no one and shoved the note in the back of his text, not knowing whom she meant by 'us,' but hoping against all lost hope that Harry comprised the other half.

Draco skipped Snape's lesson altogether that night without notice, deciding he'd explain later. As he walked down the slope from the castle to the edge of the forest, he just made out Hermione and (his heart falling sharply to his knees) Ron standing by a thicket of trees. Hermione led them a few paces inside the forest until she seemed sufficiently convinced they were hidden from view.

"This is getting ridiculous," Hermione began at once. "Won't you talk to Harry and end all this rubbish?"

Draco blinked. "What?"

"Look, I don't know what to do to make him feel better...Ron's at a loss..."

"Hermione, I've never tried..." Ron began, but Hermione talked over him.

"It's worse than your last row; it seems as though this one is never going to end. Can't you fix it?" she said, folding her arms and tapping her foot on the ground. The fire in her eyes amused Draco to no end.

"He's angry," Draco said, "which he has every right to be. I can't say anything to make it better."

"Well, you can start by doing something," Hermione said, throwing her arms up in the air.

"Hermione," Ron said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "We should let them sort this out..."

"Well, they're doing a fine job of clearing this up on their own, aren't they, Ronald?" Hermione snapped. "No, I won't stand by and watch Harry fail every one of his lessons, pick at his food at meals, go days without talking, weeks without laughing...I won't do it! This has got to stop!"

She seemed close to tears, and Draco nearly reached out to pat her on the shoulder, or offer some other sort of comforting gesture, but she seemed to emit electrical energy that he did not dare venture near. Ron wrapped his arm tightly around Hermione and said, "He's a right mess. Plus all the stress the Order's putting on him."

"I have stress, too," Draco said lowly.

"Of course you do!" Hermione said. "But that's not the point. You screamed at Pansy to never touch you again this morning. You should have seen the smile on Harry's face; it was the first genuine one he's had in months."

"He was glad?" Draco said hopefully.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Of course he was glad! He won't say it, but I'm positive he's convinced himself you and Pansy are an item."

"We're not!" Draco shouted.

"I know that! Even Ron knows that!" Hermione said, and Ron nodded. "But Harry's so messed up inside he'll believe anything if it adds to his misery."

"I miss him," Draco said lowly, not saying that it was more than he'd ever dreamed it possible to miss another human being.

"And he misses you, which is why," she said, straightening, "Ron and I are taking it upon ourselves to get you two morons to sort this out."

"What?" Draco said, her statement making his insides soar high above the clouds.

"Yes," Hermione said bossily. "This rubbish has carried on long enough. We need you to at least agree to it, seeing as we can't get past Harry's miserable façade."

"I'll do it," Draco said immediately, without hesitation.

Hermione smiled.

"Thank god," Ron said, clearly relieved.

"Right, the first thing you have to do is talk to Harry. Even if he stomps off and refuses to speak to you, you have to at least try. You may not see it at the moment, but it will get to him eventually."

"But that won't change anything, Hermione," Draco said, his brow furrowed. "He's either going to talk to me or he's not. I can only do so much."

"That's where we come in," she said resolutely. "We'll do what you can't."

***

Pansy refused to look at Draco when he entered the common room, which was just as well, and stomped upstairs with her usual group of girls. Nott sat by the fireplace and Draco took a seat beside him, feeling lighter than he had in months.

"My father sends his regards," Nott said casually. "He sent a letter today." Draco grunted, but didn't say anything, in no mood to think on the O.S. at that moment. "Snape's looking for you."

"Shit," Draco muttered, his skipped lesson having completely slipped from his mind. "I'll see him tomorrow."

"You'd better go tonight," Nott said. "He seems very put out."

"Snape's always put out," Draco said, Hermione's fiery eyes amusing him all over again.

"Parkinson being herself again?" Nott asked, referring to earlier that morning.

"She's a stupid slut," Draco said, dismissing her.

"Yeah, Bletchley said he shagged her the other night and she called out your name."

Draco grimaced. "She's not that good of a shag anyway."

"Yeah, but she likes to suck dick, doesn't she?"

Draco shrugged. "I've had better," he said, thinking of Harry.

"That Hufflepuff Madley's not bad."

"A Hufflepuff? I never knew you...that's disgusting!" Draco said, although he didn't feel in the least revolted.

"We can't all stick to our own kind, Malfoy. Gryffindor's aren't bad either," Nott whispered.

Draco looked at him, intrigued. "You've been...?"

"Oh yeah, in fact I prefer them. Bit harder to do, more secrecy involved of course given our positions," Nott said, and Draco knew exactly what he meant. "Half the time, it's not even worth it with girls. They're too much trouble."

***

Draco approached Snape the following morning first chance he got.

"Where were you last night, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape asked, not looking up from his desk.

"I had a matter to attend to."

"Such as?"

"That's none of your business, sir," Draco said matter-of-factly.

"I have no time for games. Your serious lack of initiative is beginning to wear on my nerves. There are bigger matters to attend to," Snape said, still writing.

"Yes, sir," Draco said, seeing no point in starting an argument.

He'd hoped to clear this up as quickly as possible so he could approach Harry that morning, so long as his nerve held up.

"I expect an essay on the properties of Wolfsbane potion this evening, as a consequence for your serious lack of preparedness."

"Yes, sir," Draco said, itching to get away.

"If you ever pull another stint like that, consider my private tutelage suspended until further notice," Snape said, looking up at him.

Draco nodded, his mind tightly sealed, his eyes never straying from Snape's.

"Very well, dismissed."

Draco turned to leave, but before he reached the door Snape said, "Perhaps later tonight you can explain what manner of business led you into the Forbidden Forest last night."

Draco stopped slightly, but did not respond as he walked out the door.

Draco tailed Hermione, Ron, and Harry from the Great Hall to their first lesson, unable to build up enough nerve to approach them. Before entering the classroom, Hermione turned and gave Draco a go-on-and-do-it look, but Draco shook his head and took a seat in the back, talking himself into it for the rest of class. It won't be so bad, he thought, even if he does ignore me or yell; at least it will be something. By the time the bell rang, Draco felt resolve spread though him, which instantly evaporated as soon as Harry turned, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Panicking, Draco turned quickly, exiting the classroom in front of them and he swore he heard Hermione huff loudly as he turned the corner.

Draco spent all of Potions talking himself through it yet again, not commenting when Crabbe poked fun at Harry and Ron. Draco had a hard time concentrating on the instructions and his potion turned up a sickly turquoise instead of the vivid red it was supposed to. Goddamn it, he thought as he watched Harry bend over and retrieve his bag, I'm just going to do it, I'm just going to do it and get it over with! It was Ron this time that looked over his shoulder and gave Draco an urgent look, and this finally pushed Draco to do what he'd meant to all morning.

"Hey, Potter," Draco blurted, his voice shaking slightly.

Harry stopped what he was doing and stood, turning slowly to him.

Draco suddenly found he had chosen the worst possible moment to approach Harry; with everyone looking he could not say sorry or I'm a git or don't hate me. Instead he drew in a deep breath and said, "How's remedial Potions going?"

The other Slytherins snickered loudly while Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head as Ron looked to her uncertainly. Draco smirked as he gathered his belongings and walked out, furious at his impetuousness, knowing that he had made yet another irreconcilable blunder.