Undefined

Chapter 15

The Longest Holiday

Lucius and Narcissa did not directly mention the Order over the following two weeks Draco spent home for the holidays, but it hung heavy and persistent in the air like the smell of baked goods emanating from a kitchen. His mother fussed and babied him more than ever, and his father spent countless hours praising Draco's progress.

"It seems you are advancing quite well," Lucius said, with a slight smile. "In fact, you seem to have mastered certain skills even beyond your professors."

Draco did not argue the point knowing he was just as astute, if not more, at Legilimency as Snape. He stayed true to his word and practiced Occlumency every night before bed, until he could clear his mind with such ease that he was able to do so during the day in the middle of a conversation. Confident his secret was safe, he allowed his thoughts to wander to Harry. Their separation proved harder than Draco could have predicted. He realized how much seeing Harry, even if it was just in passing, meant to him and how his absence seemed to reverberate throughout the walls of the manor. By the end of the first week, Draco was tempted to write Harry a letter, but thought better of it, knowing the risk such an action involved. Instead, he filled his time as best he could in anyway possible, but found the more he tried to distract his mind, the more Harry filled it.

Christmas passed pleasantly enough, but Lucius was called out that evening before dinner leaving Draco and his mother alone. He picked at his plate, a faint scent of pumpkin and nutmeg wafting from the kitchen, his mind on Harry. The dining room had been sparsely decorated with holly trims and candles of red, green, and silver, but Draco felt in no mood to celebrate.

"What's wrong, dearest?" his mother asked. "You seem so shut off. Is something going on at school?"

Draco shook his head, once again clearing his mind, not knowing whether his mother was a Legilimens or not, but too afraid to risk it. "It's those ruddy lessons with Snape. Meeting every night leaves me exhausted."

"Every night?" Narcissa shrilled. "Every night? That's completely unnecessary!"

"Mother," Draco said, reaching for her hand. "Calm down."

"I will not calm down! This is completely uncalled for. I'm writing him a letter immediately. I will not have you falling behind in lessons because of his fanaticism."

"I'm not falling behind," Draco said truthfully, owing to Harry lending him notes and essays to copy on a nightly basis.

Narcissa huffed. "You certainly are not and you certainly will not! I won't stand for this; my only son, used a pawn as it is..."

"Mother, I'm not a pawn; I agreed to this willingly," Draco said.

"I have no idea what you are referring to," Narcissa said, walking from the dining room and calling for the house-elf. "But I will not have you under any more stress than is absolutely necessary!"

Realizing sitting alone at the food-filled holiday table only added to his feeling of isolation, Draco stood and wandered up to his room, shutting the door and lying in the dark. He heard his mother call for him, but remained motionless, staring at the ceiling. He awoke what must have been hours later as the sky had shifted from a lazy purple to a deep black full of vivid stars. He rubbed his eyes, realizing he was still in his day clothes and annoyed beyond reason at the erection pushing against his trousers.

He had hitherto refused to do anything until he saw Harry again, but the mere thought of his name sent a shiver down his body until Draco unzipped his trousers and slipped his hand in, carefully rubbing his straining length. It was an ancient ritual, one he'd begun before he was a teenager and had found no use for once he'd slept with a girl. But this night, with Harry far away and completely out of reach, Draco resorted back to it, needing no particular thought to sustain his arousal. He writhed on the bed, kicking his blanket onto the floor and throwing a pillow over his face to stifle his moans, rubbing harder and faster against his own hand, Harry's name escaping his lips once he finally came. He pushed the pillow off his face, drinking in large gasps of fresh air, sweat trickling down his forehead. He then smiled slightly, formulating everything he would do to Harry the first moment they were alone.

The night before Draco was due to return to school, he accompanied his parents to Spinner's End for another meeting with the O.S. Draco had nothing to contribute as the other members discussed various plans involving the kidnapping of Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange, in order to extract information regarding the Dark Lord. Avery gave a very long and dull speech on various governmental matters causing Draco to slip in and out of consciousness. When Greyback spoke, it was at least interesting to hear about the werewolf's lifestyle. Snape's report was worst of all as it almost exclusively involved school matters and Draco's lessons, two subjects Draco found almost as boring as Avery's bureaucratic report.

"Draco's only weakness appears to be a relationship with a young woman hitherto unnamed," Snape said coldly.

"I'm not involved with anyone!" Draco said, wishing the matter would vanish forever.

"Oh, don't be shy, darling," Narcissa said, running her fingers through Draco's hair. "You're bloody gorgeous; of course you're involved with girls."

"Of course I'm involved with girls, mother, but not at the moment," Draco said, crossing his arms. "I have bigger things to worry about."

Everyone seemed satisfied with this except Snape and Nott Sr. (given the skeptical looks on their faces), but neither said any more on the matter, and four hours after they'd arrived, Draco and his parents finally Portkeyed back to the manor.

Draco drifted in and out of sleep that night, anticipation of seeing Harry not allowing his mind to rest. He hoped that they could steal a moment alone together almost immediately after seeing one another, but he doubted very much that would happen, even with Ron and Hermione finally knowing the truth.

Draco awoke early the next morning, with the light still very dim and a white frost covering the earth. He paced the dining room, a cup of coffee in his hand, occasionally glancing up at the portrait of Grindelwald, suddenly noticing how his eyes jumped out at him. They were dark and knowing, but also large and expressive. And Draco realized he knew someone with eyes similar to those; he was aching to see him that very day.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion, as it inevitably does when one wishes something to happen. Draco's heart beat very fast and hammered loudly in his ears as he entered the Great Hall, not knowing when he'd see Harry, but the need and want nearly blinding him.

"Have a good break?" Montague asked as Draco unpacked.

"It was OK," Draco said, putting his things away as fast as possible so he could venture out. "You?"

"Boring as all get out," Montague said, arranging items in his drawer very meticulously.

He was the most peculiar boy Draco had ever been around. Once, Montague'd spent three hours rearranging his sock drawer. "My aunt and uncle came in from Scotland. They stayed three nights and took my bed. I had to sleep in the guest room if you can believe that. They claim my mattress is softer than one in the guest bedroom. Honestly, I'd never felt so put out in all my life."

Draco grunted, slamming his trunk closed and exiting the room.

"See you around," Montague called, but Draco didn't answer.

He wandered through the Entrance Hall, walking the various staircases without running into Harry. He wandered to the fifth floor corridor, then to the seventh floor landing, loitering near the Gryffindor common room door but left when Thomas and Finnigan walked by and shot him a dirty look.

Draco then wandered through the grounds, past the Quidditch pitch and to the edge of the Forbidden Forest with no sign of Harry. When dusk settled, he sighed and walked back to the castle, expecting to see Harry at dinner. His frustration quickly turned to anger when Ron and Hermione entered alone and sat down. He looked over to them inquiringly, but Ron merely looked down at his plate while Hermione seemed to give him an I'll-explain-later look.

Having to be content with this, Draco settled into his seat and tucked in, annoyed beyond reason when he looked up to see the pair of them gone. He shot Pansy a filthy look, as she'd been the one who'd distracted him, and stormed out. He looked for the pair of them, but saw no signs, and, kicking the stone wall, he headed to the library knowing it was a favorite haunt of Hermione's. But the library was quite empty and Draco sat down moodily at a table. Fine, he thought, that's just fine. I'll stay in the dark about everything and not care if I ever see him again. Wanting to grab every book on the nearest shelf and fling them across the room, Draco stood abruptly and went back to the common room, sitting with his arms folded in a bad mood for the rest of the night.

The following morning, Harry was not at breakfast. Ron and Hermione sat whispering to one another with their heads bent low, Hermione looking up at Draco every now and again and nodding. Draco grabbed his bag and walked to class, determined to corner them following Potions if Harry failed to show up.

"You OK, Malfoy?" Goyle asked as Draco silently stirred the contents of his cauldron as directed on the blackboard.

"Fine," Draco snapped.

He shot Hermione and Ron expectant looks all through class as Harry's seat was noticeably empty. When the bell rang, he quickly cleaned his area and grabbed his bag, walking closely behind them.

"Mr. Malfoy," Snape called and Draco had the notion of hexing him. Draco turned slowly. "Please stay a moment."

Draco tried hard to hide his frustration and anger as the rest of the class emptied the classroom, Ron and Hermione soon disappearing from sight in a sea of robes.

"What?" Draco asked snappishly.

"I received a letter from your mother over the holiday," Snape said, eyeing him. Immediately Draco drained his mind of all emotions and stared at him, feeling a mental block go up as Snape's eyes searched his own. "It seems she's concerned over the amount of time you spend in private lessons."

"Oh?" Draco asked, his mind still empty.

"Yes. Why on earth would she think that?" Snape asked coldly.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?"

Snape glared at him, but Draco did not so much as blink.

"Very well, we'll meet tomorrow evening, same time," Snape said, turning.

It took everything Draco had not to bolt from the room in a full run. When he reached the landing to the Entrance Hall, Ron and Hermione were nowhere to be seen. They could've given me a note, Draco thought bitterly as he walked to Charms. Anything...

Unable to inquire about Harry's absence among his fellow students was almost as bad as not knowing where he was to begin with. He strained in Charms to hear if Harry's name was whispered among any of his classmates, and was not surprised when he heard nothing.

"What's going on?" Draco asked as he pushed past Ron and Hermione.

"Later," Ron hissed.

"The library," Hermione said quickly and Draco nodded pushing his way ahead of them.

What time he was supposed to meet them, he didn't know, so Draco went after his final lesson and sat in the very front of the room, opening various books and staring at them blankly. What felt like hours later, Ron and Hermione finally entered. Ron settled at a table while Hermione grabbed a bit of parchment and walked back to the stacks. Draco immediately got up and followed her, finding her in the Herbology section.

"Where is he?" he asked through a row of books opposite Hermione.

She looked both ways before responding. "He's OK. He had to stay in London a few extra days to deliver something for Dumbledore."

"What's he doing?" Draco demanded.

"I don't know!" Hermione said quickly. "I really don't know. Harry didn't say, and Dumbledore never tells us anything."

Draco glared at her a moment, but knew she wasn't lying. "How long's he gone for?"

"He should be back tomorrow or the day after," she said, whispering out of the corner of her mouth. "I'll find you as soon as he gets back.... He's OK, I mean, Harry's done loads of things more dangerous than this."

Draco looked at her before nodding. "How's Ron?" he asked unexpectedly.

"He's fine," Hermione said, looking rather pleased.

Draco pulled a book from the shelf and moved to leave. Before he did, Hermione whispered, "If I hear anything from Harry, I'll let you know."

Draco nodded again and walked to the front of the vast library, the sound of his footsteps echoing in the quiet.