Undefined

Chapter 8

What's Come Undone

Draco awoke the following morning with a blinding headache, his arm burnt and raw from receiving the Dark Mark. He kicked the covers off and trudged to the showers, taking a surprisingly short shower (by his standards at any rate), before returning to his room to dress. He pulled a small bottle from his bureau and smeared the yellow salve Snape had given to him the previous night onto his arm. It stung at first, but then soothed his raw arm. Throwing his books in his bag and grabbing his robes, he quickly left, making his way up to breakfast.

He entered the Great Hall with only one thing on his mind: Harry. He ignored the indignant and appalled stares from the rows of Gryffindors lining the table, marching straight to Harry and tapping him on the shoulder. Granger had been in the middle of a row of sorts with Weasley, which ceased immediately upon Draco's arrival. Harry looked up, mildly surprised, a half eaten piece of toast in his hand.

"I need a word," Draco said.

Harry took another bite of toast and a quick drink of juice before standing. Granger and Weasley looked upon the scene appalled and shocked, both clearly too taken aback to confer with Harry on the matter. Their reaction was almost worth it, Draco thought, as he and Harry walked silently out of the Great Hall.

"What the hell was that?" Draco heard Weasley sputter behind him.

"Don't ask me!" Granger spat.

Draco smirked as he passed rows of blue and bronze attire dotting the Ravenclaw table, leading Harry to the broom cupboard just off the Entrance Hall. Before Harry could say anything, Draco lit the tip of his wand and pulled his sleeve up, revealing the Dark Mark. Harry looked at it, then at Draco.

"I did it," Draco whispered. "Last night. I joined."

"So I see," Harry said, his eyes unreadable.

"You know what this means," Draco said, almost breathless.

"Yeah," Harry said. "You'll have to watch your back."

"We're on the same side now."

"What?" Harry said, looking flabbergasted. "Is that what you think?"

"We're both against him, right?"

"Yes, but...no...it's different!"

"How?" Draco demanded, forcing to keep his voice calm.

Just outside the door, several pairs of footsteps traipsed by.

"You don't get it, do you? We aren't the same! You're only doing this so as to make things as you want them to be."

"I thought you'd be pleased," Draco said quietly.

"No," Harry said. "I'm not."

Draco looked at him, unable to conceal the hurt in his eyes.

"I think it's a step in the right direction, but you're still so lost."

"According to you," Draco snapped.

Harry sighed. "I'm glad you told me."

"You don't seem to be," Draco said, covering his forearm with his sleeve and moving toward the door.

"I am. Wait!" Harry said, but Draco had already stormed out of the cupboard, slamming the door in Harry's face as he went.

Draco returned to his dormitory, slamming and kicking anything that stood still long enough. He felt the burn of the Dark Mark, loathing himself for admitting anything to Harry, for ever confiding in Harry, for ever letting Harry get under his skin in such an annoyingly mind-altering way.

"You all right, mate?" Montague asked, edging to his bed and grabbing a book from atop his trunk.

"Fuck off," Draco spat.

Montague hurried out, which Draco thought was very smart, given his desire to punch something warm and moving at that moment. Instead, he turned and punched the wall, causing his fist to bleed.

"GODDAMN IT!" he screamed, more in pain than in anger.

Annoyed, he realized that he now had to contend with a sore hand as well as a sore arm, and it occurred to him what would help him feel a bit better.

He ran from his dormitory to Blaise's room, pleased to find him sitting on his bed reading.

"Back so soon for more?" Blaise said, smirking and setting his book aside.

Draco walked straight to him and punched him in the jaw.

"What the fuck?" Blaise asked, but Draco continued punching Blaise, wanting to inflict as much pain as he could on every exposed area of the boy's body.

Through those unrelenting and unyielding punches, Draco felt a bit of his tantamount anger dissipate.

"You can forget about any more midnight promises," Draco said, pulling Blaise from the bed and kicking him hard in the stomach. Blaise crumbled to the floor, clutching his stomach and gasping wildly for breath. "It's over!" Draco kicked Blaise hard in the stomach yet again. "I'm through!" He slammed his fist onto Blaise's face. "Tell whoever the fuck you'd like!" With another swift kick, this one to the crotch, Draco stomped out the door, leaving the boy a bloody, moaning heap on the floor.

Draco remained secluded in his room the rest of the day, not trusting himself to keep his hands to himself if the next person happened to look at him the wrong way. Instead, he lounged (or at least, tried to lounge) in his bed, reading through book after book, throwing them across the room with all his might when his anger caught up with him once again. By the time the sun set, he realized he was ravenous. He wandered down through the common room and out the door, finding Harry sitting on the floor of the corridor. Clenching his fists very hard, Draco threw Harry a filthy look before turning towards the kitchens.

Harry sprang up immediately and followed him. "Wait!"

"Stay away from me, Potter," Draco said, his insides shaking with rage.

"Wait!" Harry said again, catching up with Draco and pulling around. "Look, about earlier..."

"It's done," Draco said, shoving Harry away violently. "We're done. I see what you really think of me."

"No, it's not--" Harry began.

"Fuck off, Potter," Draco said darkly.

"I'M SORRY!" Harry yelled desperately.

Draco turned slowly. He remembered hearing those words on very rare occasions in the past. Somehow, hearing them come from Harry's lips meant more to him than he could ever recall.

"What?" Draco said, standing by a huge portrait of overgrown grapes and folding his arms.

"I said I'm sorry," Harry repeated.

"Sorry?" Draco said, deliberately drawing it out so as to savor the moment.

Harry nodded.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, look," Harry said, walking towards Draco. "I shouldn't have said what I did; I was wrong. Obviously we don't agree on some things,"--Draco scoffed--"Okay, most things, but that doesn't have to mean the end, right?"

Draco tried very hard to remain angry, but the look of concern bordering on panic so evident on Harry's face softened him immediately. Harry placed his hand on Draco's shoulder, which immediately elicited an annoying swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach. He advanced on Harry and pinned him against the wall. They looked at one another for a fleeting moment, before Draco leant in and kissed Harry furiously, their exposure making the act all the more forbidden.

"You're the first person I told," Draco said, kissing along Harry's jaw. "You're the only one I wanted to tell; I didn't even take the full vow because it would've meant I'd've had to keep things from you, and I couldn't do that."

Harry's face softened and he pulled Draco's lips to his own, kissing him tenderly this time. "You did that?"

Draco nodded.

"For me?"

Draco nodded again.

Harry placed his forehead against Draco's and they stood like that for several moments before footsteps from somewhere far off scared them apart.

"You hungry?" Draco asked.

"Starved."

They walked side by side to the kitchens, Draco's insides exploding with glee and relief, and he felt as though he were floating down the corridor.

They spent the night together in the Room of Requirement, so secluded and alone it felt as though the world outside ceased to exist. They lay side by side on a large bed, empty plates scattered haphazardly on the floor. Draco told Harry nearly everything that had transpired during his meeting, taking care not to mention any names.

"The Order of the Phoenix isn't anywhere near as secretive," Harry said, speaking on the subject for the first time.

"Well, no, it wouldn't have to be, would it?" Draco said.

"No, I suppose not," Harry admitted.

"Won't Weasley be suspicious when you don't turn up?" Draco asked, when their conversation had reached a lull.

Harry shrugged. "Maybe, but it doesn't matter. What about you? Won't your mates miss you?"

"So what if they do?" Draco asked, unconcerned.

Then, Harry did something he hadn't done up to that point; he reached over and grabbed Draco's hand. They settled down to sleep when Draco guessed it was after midnight. Harry once again laid his head on Draco's chest, and, for the first time, neither felt the need to do anything physical that night. The knowledge of each other's soft breathing and warm body was enough to satisfy any yearning.

***

Draco found out the next day Blaise had been admitted to the Hospital Wing. When Blaise had named Draco as the culprit, Snape summoned him to his office.

"Is it true?" Snape asked.

"Yes, sir," Draco said.

"Why?"

"He made advances towards me, sir. I couldn't let that go!"

Snape nodded, but a glint of realization seemed to cross his face. Draco immediately broke eye contact with him. Oh please, no, don't let him know, he thought desperately.

"Very well," Snape said, dismissing him.

Draco left Snape's office, and had started up the stairs when he felt a hand grab the back of his robes.

"Weasley," Draco said, smirking. "The famous blood-traitor himself."

"Shut up!" Ron said, dragging Draco to classroom eleven.

Ron slammed the door furiously and wheeled around.

"What the fuck did you do to Harry?"

"What?" Draco said, blinking.

"Why did you pull him away at breakfast yesterday? What did you say to him? He was in a miserable mood the entire day. And then last night he disappeared. Did you hex him?"

"Calm down, Weaslebee," Draco said, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. "If you'd open your eyes you'd've noticed Potter was at breakfast this morning."

"That's not the point! He won't say where he was last night," Ron said, advancing.

"Well, well, isn't that unfortunate? No doubt he was out saving the world."

"What did you do to him?" Ron yelled.

"I don't have time for this, Weasley," Draco said lazily. "I have no idea where your precious Golden Boy was last night, nor do I care to imagine. Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do,"--he eyed Ron scathingly--"much better things."

"When I find out what you're up to, Malfoy, I swear I'll...I'll..."

"Stutter stupidly?" Draco sneered. "How terrible! I'm shaking!"

His derisive laugh echoed down the corridor as he left.