Crash and Burn

James sat down at his end of the table, surrounded by the other Marauders. His thoughts were not on his breakfast however, but rather on the girl who sat at the opposite end of the table, carefully pouring orange juice over her Cheerios.

"James? HELLO? Funny little man with messy hair, please report to the office...?"

"Wh-What?"

Remus Lupin looked enquiringly at one of his best friends. "You see," he said. "When one actually eats the toast, they normally chew. It's rather unattractive to have it hanging out of your mouth."

"Oh - I..."

Remus simply shook his head and continued to eat his breakfast.

"Don't you think that's rather odd? I mean, why would you put your juice over your cereal? It's just not right!"

Remus rolled his eyes and put his fork down. "What on earth are you talking about, Prongs?"

"Look at her! Calmly putting her juice where it doesn't belong! I mean honestly..."

"Why do YOU care what this girl does with her breakfast?"

"I don't. I was just pointing it out..."

Sirius Black, who had been looking from James to Remus with one eyebrow raised, cut in with what he thought was a wonderful revelation.

"He fancies her!"

Remus and James both whipped their heads around. "What? I-" James spluttered indignantly. "I do not fancy her!"

"Now that I think about it Padfoot, he does seem to have a rather weird fascination with her." Remus looked thoughtfully at the redheaded girl, who did not seem to know she was the subject of their conversation. "What happened to Hilary, James? Bored with her already?"

"I do not fancy Lily!"

At the sound of her name, Lily looked up and around the table. The Marauders quickly pretended to be enthralled with their breakfasts, and not another word was spoken of the matter.

***

In the following week, James managed to find himself staring at Lily Evans without realising he was doing it. She had seen him once or twice, but dismissed it as being one too many bludgers to the head and a general weirdness.

By Wednesday (and after being yelled at a teacher for being transfixed with the back of Lily's head one to many times) James decided the best course of action would be to snog her so as to get her off his mind so he could return to the real world, Hilary, and his classes. He ran his plan by Sirius who seemed to think it a good idea and Remus who merely rolled his eyes and looked away. Taking this as a yes, James bounded down from the boys dorms in search of Lily. He found her reading the latest issue of Teen Witch in the vacant common room.

"Where is everyone?" he asked casually, rumpling his hair.

Wondering why James Potter was talking to her [as he had not done so since the Quidditch game] Lily raised an eyebrow and said cautiously, "I don't know."

"Well I'm not complaining." James gave her his award winning [literally] grin and shifted closer to her, as though to lie down on the couch.

Flipping the magazine closed Lily got to her feet and threw James a dirty look. "Well I'll leave you to it, but I really think you should do that sort of thing at night in your dorm!"

''What are you - OH no! God no! I was talking about uh...something else."

"Are you meeting a girl then? In which case I should continue with my departure."

"I was actually wondering if YOU -"

He stopped at the astonished look on her pretty face and was completely surprised at her next course of action. "Snog YOU!" she gasped, laughing so hard she collapsed on the floor. "What are you THINKING Potter? Why on EARTH would I want to snog you? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

He glowered at her and ran a hand through his already messy hair, trying to keep his calm and hoping to God Sirius wasn't listening. "Well I do think you're rather pretty and-"

"Your actually serious?" she interrupted. "Please James, I have better things to do than snog random people at odd moments."

"I am not a random person, I'm James Potter! Most girls would DIE -"

"Do I look like most girls Potter," she interrupted again. He surveyed her short black wide-pleated skirt and red long-sleeved shirt. His gaze travelled to her red and black DC's* before up to her face again.

"Why is it you constantly interrupt me? I mean honestly it's very rude." He ran his fingers through his hair again, pointedly ignoring her question.

"The right answer, Potter is 'No Lily, you don't look like the regular blonde I normally snog. I shall leave you alone now and go play with my hands."

"That would be the right answer in YOUR book Evans," James said, recovering his usual wit and smirking at her. "In mine it would be "You're right Evans, you look like something out of a thrift store - completely out of fashion...."

Lily raised her eyebrow and rolled her eyes. "Wow Potter, that hurt me. I'm sorry if not all of us look exactly the same. AND for your information this outfit is the latest in London and straight out of Harrods thank YOU very much." She turned on her heel and stomped off ungracefully to her dormitories, annoyed at their pathetic exchange of insults and making the mistake of thinking James Potter was at a lower level than she in the game of verbal sparring.

***

After being shut down in a most indelicate way, James walked up the stairs slowly, debating whether he should go and find some misguided girl to soothe his injured pride. Once entering the boys dormitories, this verbal exchange took place:

"So Prongsie how did it go? Got your mind off her?"

"I didn't snog her Padfoot."

"Really well that's...You what?"

"For some reason she didn't WANT to snog me."

"AHAHAHHAHAHAHA"

"Sirius you're not helping."

"HAHAHAHHAHAHHA"

"Remus?"

"Well James I don't know what to say, I mean she's obviously not that type of girl."

"What do you mean that type of girl?" James attempted and failed to look wounded. "Are you implying I snog light women?"

"No no, just any girl in the school, because then THEY could say they snogged the great James Potter."

"I am rather great aren't I?"

"You're missing the point."

"AHAHHAHAHA"

***

The next day, James ventured down the stairs, hoping to God he wouldn't see Lily. However she was there, Calista by her side, looking at him disdainfully. He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes before looking away.

Remus sauntered over to Calista who smiled flirtatiously and the two began to make small conversation. Lily and James flopped onto the couch simultaneously, before jumping up again as their arms touched slightly.

"Good work there Captain." Came Lily's sarcastic comment first..

"It's not my fault! All I wanted to do was wait for THEM to finish. Can't you keep her on a leash or something?"

"SHE is not the one who's self absorbed girlfriend keeps on a tight rain 24/7. And PS. I wasn't talking about how you nearly SAT on me just now, I was talking about last night. How would Miss Maxwell feel if she knew you tried pulling your moves on ME last night hm?"

"I was not pulling my "moves" on you ok, YOU'RE the one who ASSUMED..."

"Oh bullshit, Potter you know very well you wanted to go inspect a broom closet with me and I wasn't stupid enough to fall for it! Honestly the way you treat women..."

"I beg your pardon? I treat my girlfriends like QUEENS -"

"Yes, it's the rest of the female population who isn't as popular as Hilary Maxwell, but still pretty enough for you that you treat like dirt. Just a snog and no one has to know about it! It's disgusting!"

"That's not true!"

"Then explain last night."

Just then, Calista bounded over to Lily taking no notice of Lily and James' heated exchange. "Lillers, is it ok if we sit with the boys today?"

Lily shot James a dirty look, which he returned instantly. "If it's what you want Calista but -"

"Oh thank you, you're the best!"

***

After spending an uncomfortable breakfast at the boys end of the table, Lily made her way to charms for her second period, happy that neither James nor Sirius were in her class. She thought Sirius was a bit of a show off, and being best friends with James Potter, who knew what other traits he was hiding. Remus Lupin, as far as she was concerned, was guilty by association.

Lily showed up for class only to find that a note was pasted on the door telling her that class was cancelled due to "unusual circumstances" Rolling her eyes and inwardly cursing Peeves, Lily went to find Calista who had a spare that same period.

Grinning, Lily linked arms with Calista and the two made their way down to the Quidditch Pitch, brooms floating behind them.