Silence at Sunrise

Silence at Sunrise

I knew it the first time I saw you standing there beneath the dark, gray sky. You were staring up into the starless night, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, shivering in the cold. I wanted to approach you, to put my arms around you, but I was afraid. I was afraid you'd turn away from me...Afraid you might fear me if I let it slip that it was at that precise moment I knew I loved you.

I admit, I did not come to discover how much I loved you until I saw you turn to walk away. You were so beautiful, and I wanted to scream for not realizing it before now. A single tear rolled down your cheek, and I had to keep myself from running to you immediately. The desire to put my arms around you returned even stronger than before and I ran. I should have run to you, but I didn't. I ran past the lake, through the trees, and back toward the castle.

I lay awake for hours, thinking of you. I wanted to know what had made you cry...I wanted to know what had hurt you. I came up with an endless number of possibilities, each one more ridiculous than the last. The only thought that made any sense was that I loved you...But when I thought more about it, I realized that that didn't really make much sense either.

It was early when I woke the next morning. The sun wasn't up yet, and I shivered as I threw the covers off of myself and crawled out of bed. I showered and walked downstairs, and my breath caught in my throat when I realized I was not the only one that had risen for an early breakfast. You were there too, and I sat slowly down at my own table, fighting the urge to join you at yours. I ate slowly, and watched as you rose and walked calmly from the Hall. My mind was made up, and even though I tried to stop myself, I stood and followed you.

I don't know why I expected it, but when I saw you standing just outside of the Hall, it didn't surprise me. I knew you'd be there. We walked together in silence for almost an hour. Then, just as the sun began to rise over the lake, you spoke. We walked to the edge of the lake, as far from the castle as we could get, and you kept talking. You told me about the mother that loves you, the father who rules you with an iron fist, the friends that fear you, and all the others you claimed you didn't give "half a shit" about.

I listened and watched you, never letting my attention waiver. A few times, I brushed away the tears that cascaded down your face, and fought the desire to hold you. Then, suddenly, and without any warning, you stopped talking, and you kissed me. My God, you grabbed my face, and you kissed me...You took my breath away, and, God, it was amazing. The kiss lasted for what felt like an eternity, but in my heart, it wasn't nearly long enough. Then, as suddenly as you had started, you stopped, and you stepped away from me. I smiled at you, and you smirked. You ran your hair through your unwashed, disheveled hair, and laughed. Shaking your head, you looked at me with those beautiful, but cold gray eyes.

"Fuck you, Potter." And with that, you were gone.