Why

Why

'"Why must life be so hard? Why must it be so complicated? Why is love so strange? Why is it so confusing? Why me? Why now? Why him?" I thought to myself as I threw myself on the bed.' Life is strange and confusing sometimes. Especially love. It always seems to come at the wrong time, and for the wrong person.

From around the corner I watched the scene unfold. One of my best friends was standing with a boy whose back was to me, but I thought I recognized the back of his head. My other best friend was standing at the side in the shadows, unnoticed for now. The boy put his hands on my friend's shoulders and leaned in to kiss her. At this moment, my other friend walked out of the shadows and up to the couple. Her face was like a thundercloud. I could not hear what they said; they whispered, as it was about midnight. The Astronomy Tower was an infamous place for couples, but I had come up to stargaze, not expecting the drama that lay before me. The boy turned around, and as he did, I let out a low gasp. It was the Ravenclaw boy I had been staring at for the past month. I turned around, tears springing to my eyes, and walked silently down the stairs of the tower. I would never bring up the scene I had seen, though it replayed itself many times in my mind.

Five years later

I was now a sixth year Gryffindor at Hogwarts. I had never forgotten what had happened that night atop the Astronomy Tower, as I never lost my feelings for that boy. The boy was Michael Smith; the friend he had almost kissed was Lavender Brown; the friend who had stopped them was Parvati Patil. I had never told them I had seen what happened, and they never talked about it in my presence. I still passed Michael every now and then, but he never seemed to notice me, just Lavender and Parvati; Lavender more than Parvati, but he would tease us as we walked down the halls together. The grudge between Lavender and Michael had lasted through these five years, though it was more of a teasing relationship than anything else. Parvati and I were getting a little tired of the silliness that was the grudge. We decided to call a truce.

"Lavender, Parvati and I want to tell you something," I called out as Lavender walked by our table in the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Sure 'Mione, what is it?"

We walked up to the dormitory and sat down on the beds. Parvati and I had discussed this earlier. I was to go first.

"Lavender, Parvati and I are getting tired of all this silliness between us, mainly you, and Michael. We'd like to call a truce between us. How about it?"

"Finally! I've been trying to call a truce for about three years, but I always lose my nerve. So, when should we do it?"

"I was thinking tonight, after dinner, in the library. As we leave, we can tell him we need to talk to him and to meet us in the back left corner of the library. That okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." Lavender took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, I probably should tell you why 1) It's so hard for me to do this, and 2) Why the grudge started in the first place."

I had a feeling that what had happened that night five years ago on the Astronomy Tower was about to be explained. "Okay, I'm listening."

"You have to promise not to tell anyone!"

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye," I swore, using an old promise term from my elementary school days.

Lavender and Parvati looked at me strangely. "It's an old Muggle term for promising an utmost secret that will never be told." They nodded, as they understood.

Lavender took a deep breath and started. "Well, about five years ago, Michael and I really liked each other. For some reason, I had gotten mad at him, but now I can't remember why. Anyway, he took me up to the Astronomy Tower and almost kissed me. The reason he didn't was because Parvati interrupted us. He got mad at her and then was mad at me, and so that's what happened. Parvati, you tell her about the note."

"No!" Lavender gave her a look and she agreed. "Okay. Well, I wrote a love letter to Michael, but he ripped it up. That's what happened. And then, about a month ago, Lavender told me that she still liked Michael. I know I still do. Now you know why it's hard for her to talk to him and call a truce."

"I can do all the talking if you want me to," I offered. I still liked him, but I couldn't tell them that, or that I had known what had happened atop the Astronomy Tower that night. "I've got something to tell you too. This is really hard for me. I've always, well maybe not always, well yes always, I've always liked Michael. Okay, so tonight, library, after dinner." Well, now I knew that I could never have Michael. Never.

Great Hall - After Dinner

"Michael! Hey Michael!" I tried to be heard over the loud voices of the crowd leaving the Great Hall. He looked over in my direction, and I waved. "Come over here, would you?"

He walked over to the side of the double doors of the Great Hall, where we were standing. "What is it?"

"Well, Lavender, Parvati, and I would like to talk with you. We were hoping you'd meet us in the back left corner of the library in about half an hour."

Yeah, right. He was really going to meet with the three girls he had been teasing mercilessly and held a grudge against for five years in a dark corner of the library to 'talk.' Right.

"Okay. See you in half and hour."

I was stunned. I was sure that he would refuse and carry on with the grudge. Lavender and Parvati walked away, and Michael was trying to see his friends through the crowd. It was just him and me. My voice had left me, and my legs were slowly weakening. I had to say something, anything to break the silence, even though the sound in that hall was probably equal to that of a surround sound stereo on full blast. I had to talk to him. "Michael, I.. I... I... never mind," I just couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. I slipped through the crowd like a breeze and ran at a full sprint to Gryffindor Tower. I got there before Lavender and Parvati, and screamed as loud as I could. Thank god the walls were sound proofed.

"Why? Why? Why?!" I screamed at the ceiling. I decided not to scream anymore; people might be coming soon. "Why must life be so hard? Why must it be so complicated? Why is love so strange? Why is it so confusing? Why me? Why now? Why him?" I thought to myself as I threw myself on the bed in despair. I started to cry slow, silent tears. After what seemed about five minutes of crying, I sat up and looked at myself in the mirror. "Lavender and Parvati should be coming up any second. I should straighten up." I was a mess. My hair looked like a bird's nest, my eyes were red and puffy, and I had tear streaks on my cheeks. I splashed cold water on my face, which seemed to help my eyes, and erased the streaks. I was still trying to straighten my hair, which almost never happens, when Lavender and Parvati came in.

"I thought you'd be here. Come on 'Mione, we've only got ten minutes to get to the library," Parvati said. Lavender nodded behind her and gestured to the door. "Let's go!"

Library

We came in and saw Michael already there, running his hand over the books on a nearby bookshelf. He looked up, saw us, and waved. We walked over to him, and I said, as planned, "We'd like to stop this silliness and childish behavior. We'd like to call a truce. Truce?" I stuck out my hand, signaling a truce.

He laughed and replied, in a falsely high voice, "Truce? We'd like to call a truce!" He mocked us with his eyes glittering dangerously.

He walked away, and as he did, Lavender muttered under her breath, "I'm tired of this bull." She ran up to him, punched his shoulder, and yelled, "We were trying to be polite, but you don't know what that is, obviously. Nothing seems to get through your big thick skull. Well maybe this will. Fuck off!"

I don't know about Parvati, but I had never seen Lavender this mad before. Heck, I'd never heard her use the word fuck before. Lavender turned around and walked back toward us, eyes blazing, and I just gave Michael a withering look. All my feelings for him had just flown out the window. He said, "Fine!" and stormed off. Luckily, the library was fairly deserted, especially in the back left corner, where only History of Magic books were; nobody ever read those. Well, except for me, perhaps.

As he walked off, Lavender grabbed his shoulder, spun him around, and gave him a hard right hook to his face. He just glared back; didn't do anything, just glared at us. He stormed off toward the exit. Parvati and I turned to Lavender, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. She broke down and sank to her knees on the floor of the library. Parvati and I sat down on the floor and put our arms around her. The tears streamed down her face; there seemed to be no end or lessening to them. I told Parvati to help Lavender back to the dormitory; I needed to do something.

I found Michael sitting at a table near the Restricted Section; a large pile of books was next to him. As I walked up to the table, he looked up and said, "Go away. I'm studying."

"Fine. I will. I just have one thing to say to you. You are the most stupid, spoiled, mindless idiotic prat I have ever met; that goes for all the Slytherins too!" I turned around sharply, flinging my hair over my shoulder, and walked off calmly.

When I got to our dormitory, it was empty. I hadn't been there for more than a minute when Lavender and Parvati came running up and announced, "He apologized! He even seemed sincere about it!"

"That's great! It finally must have gotten through his thick skull that we were mad!"

Lavender looked at the floor nervously. "Well, he apologized to me, sorta to Parvati, but he said, and I quote 'Keep Hermione the hell away from me!' I'm sorry 'Mione."

"That's fine with me. I stopped liking him when he wouldn't call a truce. Oh well. There are other boys out there. It's not too late. Besides, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Parvati looked unsure at my declaration. "Well, okay, if you're fine with it."

"I am. It's okay," Why did life have to be so complicated and confusing? Life wasn't always fair, but I knew that whatever happened, my friends would always be there for me. But still, Why?

Fin