Ever Wondered?

I'll ask you now, before more time is lost, how your thoughts go by?

Do they just pass easily?

Just slowly moving as you consider each one?

Or are your thoughts hurried?

Rushing by, like the people I see going past my café everyday, late for work again?

Have you ever fallen in love?

Ever fallen down stairs, only to look back up and want to do it again?

Do you even listen to someone when they reply to your "how are you?"

Do you ever stop to consider others and their response to you?

Or do you just pass on by?

Do you stop to listen to those who play music on the street?

Do you ever consider why they are there?

Ever felt like time has gone by too fast?

Ever needed to go back?

Ever felt alone?

I know I have.

I've considered every one of these questions since the day I fell in love with one of the men that hurried past my café, always late. His messy black hair topped by the short sprinkling of snow as winter started. Glasses foggy from his heated breath. He seemed too always go to fast.

I never understood why I was different. Never realised that I was unlike everyone else because I didn't rush. I always took my time. Considered things.

One day he came and talked to me. Asked me how I was. I can't really remember what I said, all I know is that he laughed, then smiled his goofy grin at me.

It became ritual from then on. Every morning he would come in and order a soy de caff latte with 3 sugars, and we would just talk about life, the world and everything.

It took us two months before we worked out both of us were magical. Another one for me to realise how I felt. But by then, I'd met his girlfriend.

To her I was just a dreamy no good waitress with no sensibilities or money. She insulted me and called me a mudblood. I remember crying after. It hadn't been the word, oh no. James hadn't tries to defend me.

That was the day I kind of lost hope.

The truth that I had come to realise was that life definitely wasn't fair. People would come up to me and ask me how I am, ignore my answer and walk off. The world's become to busy for the people who see it as it should be seen. Everyone needs to be everywhere at once, and I can't stand it.

I took two months off after that, leaving my darling café in the gorgeous (and surprisingly capable) hands of none other then Sirius Black. I got weekly mail with sales reports. James had stopped coming from the lack of say de caff latte's on the lists. I guess he really hadn't cared.

It was my first day back when I saw him again. Wasn't that long was it? Nothing seemed to have changed. He came in, ordered his soy de caff latte with 3 sugars and we talked.

It took me another month to figure out I hadn't gotten over him during my time away.

One day though, in the middle of summer, 13^th of January to be exact, he came in, sat down and put his head in his hands. Same seat as always, the one next to the window. I sent Sirius over to see if he wanted anything. Sirius came back with one word on his notepad.

Lily.

5 months later we were married and now that I'm pregnant I just sit and think. About the world, about life, about everything. And despite all the thinking I do, I still wonder...

Ever lost hope?

I have.

Ever found peace?

I have.

Ever stood up for someone?

I have.

Ever just, wondered?

I have.