Forgotten Memories

Harry groaned as the light cascading into the room fell upon his closed eyelids. He stayed still refusing to move as his body ached but that didn't last long because suddenly he felt an awful feeling in his stomach and ran to the bathroom. He made it just in time to catch the toilet as the remnants of the day before came up.

When Harry finished, he still had a headache, but he had enough sense left to remember to brush his teeth. Vomit tasted awful. As he brushed his teeth, he remembered something that made him gag into the sink. He had been drinking. So that was the reason he threw up? Must be.

After Harry finished, he walked out of the bathroom to be greeted by something he had been too quick to notice in his sprint to the bathroom.

"Morning sickness, dear?" asked the blonde under the sheets of his bed, in a tone filled with amusement.

"What are you doing in my bed?" retorted Harry, who stood transfixed at the door.

Draco frowned, "You mean you don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Why I'm here, naked, in your bed of course." replied Draco with a charming smile plastered across his face.

Harry's eyes shot wide open, "What?"

With the sheets covering Draco's body, Harry had not been able to see the naked blonde underneath.

"Yes, we had a lot of fun last night, didn't we? But then again I wasn't as drunk as you were. As I recall it was absolutely amazing, as I expected. You liked it too."

"Oh my God! What the bloody hell happened last night?"

"Why," replied Draco, pausing as he got off the bed and slowly made his way towards the naked Harry Potter standing at the door of the bathroom, "We made love." And the Slytherin pressed his lips to those of the Gryffindor.

It took a while for Harry to fight the pleasure the Slytherin gave him, but he finally pushed off the blonde to gasp for air, "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"For a wonderful night, Harry."

Shocked, the Gryffindor questioned, "Since when do you call me Harry?"

"Since I screamed out in ecstasy last night, don't you remember when I called out your name?"

"I was drunk Malfoy. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Oh, back to Malfoy now are we? Well, I guess you're right. We should put up a fake front for others. They may not approve of our relationship." said the Slytherin, running a finger down the Gryffindor's chest seductively.

The Gryffindor had to use all his might not to moan at the electrifying touch, "We have nothing. We don't have a relationship."

"Really? That's not what you said last night when you screamed out my name, and oh how sweet it sounded rolling off your tongue like honey." replied the Slytherin confidently whilst grinning at the mere memory.

"What? Malfoy, nothing happened between us. And even if you claim we did something last night, it's over now. I was drunk and I obviously didn't know what I was doing."

Draco pouted a little before he whined, "But Harry, you told me you love me."

"I what?"

"You said it after you screamed out my name as you came." sang Draco, replaying the memory in his mind.

"Well then I obviously didn't mean what I said if I was drunk! Malfoy, I was bloody drunk! I wasn't thinking properly."

The Slytherin quirked up an eyebrow and said, "Is that so?" sounding much angrier than he had a few seconds ago.

"Yes!" replied Harry firmly.

"Well then fine! I'll walk out of the door right now and pretend nothing ever happened, that we never had a night of passion together." said Draco as he indirectly gave Harry a chance to take back the hurtful words.

"Fine!" said Harry without thinking.

Draco left in a reign of anger before he could let the tears fall.

~*~

As the door slammed shut, Harry fell against the post of the bathroom door as he slid to the floor.

"What have I done?" he groaned, burying his face in his hands.

You just let the man you love walk out of your life forever. He gave himself to you, git! And you let him leave! You told him to leave.

Harry groaned again into his hands. This could not be happening.

~*~

Draco stormed out of Harry's room and made his way to his private quarters in the dungeons.

Draco slammed the door to his personal room shut as he let out a loud growl, "Why does life always have to be like this?" he yelled before storming into his bathroom for a shower.

After the shower, Draco felt fresh, but the pain in his heart still remained. He told Harry he loved him and Harry said he loved Draco back. What happened? Simple. He had been stupid to believe a word that lying Gryffindor said. "Golden boy? NO! Bugger, if he's such a Golden boy he wouldn't have broken my heart like this."

For the first time in Draco's life, he felt ugly when he looked into the mirror. He felt like he just couldn't be good enough for the world because he had not been good enough for Harry.

~*~

Draco entered the Great Hall. It looked as though not many seventh years had been able to get up from the party the school held the night before. It had been an event solely for the graduates, specifically requested by the majority of the seventh years as their graduation social event.

As Draco took his seat, he noticed that there really hadn't been many seventh years that made it up at all. Taking advantage of the solitude, he sat by himself at the Slytherin table and delved into his memory of the night before. It had been wonderful. He could see from across the room that Harry had a touch of pink in the cheeks, but Draco still wanted to talk to him. This quite possibly could be the last chance he could get to tell Harry how he felt, or at least talk to Harry in a civil manner before they went off on their own.

Draco approached Harry last night and the green emeralds looked up at the blonde and a smile graced the Gryffindor's face. Draco had been thrilled at the sight. Harry had been smiling at him, the Gryffindor- happy to see him. Draco smiled back and they started talking. Talking about their problems and the things they had come across in life. Draco had been surprised to hear all the things the Golden boy had to say and in turn Draco had been taken back by the fact that Harry hadn't been spoiled and worshiped as everyone suspected. But that hadn't mattered at the moment because the only thing going through Draco's mind had been that he currently held a conversation with Harry, someone he had been dreaming about every night since they met in Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions shop. They talked for house and the yelling and cursing hadn't started, it simply had to be the best day of Draco's life.

It hadn't taken long for the topic between the two boys to reach their love lives after their long discussion on their own life stories. Harry had been the first to ask Draco whom he fancied. Draco blushed and confessed the Gryffindor. In turn, the Gryffindor had chuckled at the shyness from the Slytherin and confessed that he secretly fancied the blonde for years as well. That had to be when Draco's heart stopped beating, or had it ever started beating in the first place? He couldn't figure it out at the moment. The only thing he could think of was that they fancied each other. They had for a long time, which meant that they had wasted seven sodding years fighting with one another.

Soon enough they both jumped in bed, having the best sex either of them ever had. Draco thought they loved each other. He thought everything had been perfect. The two of them, together and they both loved each other. He knew because Harry just told him. He knew better now. Harry probably talked to him about love to get him in bed.

Draco sighed into his breakfast and gave up. He left the Great Hall and made his way to the courtyard under the tree where he always got the best view of Harry and his friends. The trio always sat under the isolated tree right by the lake. In turn, Draco always chose the tree a little beyond that one so he could get a clear view of that beautiful raven hair.

Draco sat in silence for a while. He guessed that his fellow seventh year Slytherins wouldn't be up for a long time. Whenever they got too into drinking, they took their time to recover. They seem to never learn how to rationalize their alcohol intake.

Suddenly, Draco heard a footstep behind him; he turned and saw the emerald eyes, "What do you want Potter?" asked Draco icily as he returned his gaze to the lake.

Harry had been shocked at the hostility but kept his mind on track of what he had set out to do as he advanced on the Slytherin, "Can you tell me what happened last night?"

"No."

"Why not?"

The blonde glared into the emerald eyes, "Because, POTTER, unless you haven't noticed, I poured my heart out to you and you threw everything back in my face!"

"You didn't pour your heart out to me. You told me we were in a relationship when we weren't."

"Yes we were. To me we were. We had something special."

"No we didn't. If we did then you wouldn't have walked out the door."

"HELLO POTTER! Was the sex last night so intense that you've lost whatever little brains you had to begin with? You didn't remember anything from last night. You let me walk out of the sodding door, Potter. You didn't stop me! If anything, you ruined whatever 'thing' we had."

"Draco-"

"OH! So now it's Draco. As I recall, this morning it was still Malfoy. Too bad Potter, I'm not your fling."

"I don't want you to be my fling Draco. I-I made a mistake this morning. I shouldn't have let you walk out the door."

"You mean to tell me that you're blaming me for walking out of your life?"

Harry took a deep breath and looked onto the lake, "Draco, you can't walk out of my life if I was never given a chance to live."

"I don't want to hear your philosophies of life. Get out of my face Potter. There's only one week of school left and I'll be out of your 'non-existing' life soon enough. I'll never have to look at your lips and melt. I'll never have to watch you laughing with your friends and envy them for being the ones to make you laugh. I'll never have to look at your eyes and wonder if I had ever been lost like that before and realize that it is only in your eyes that I have ever found myself."

"Draco, I was having a headache this morning. Please understand that I didn't know what was going on. I was in shock. I still don't know what happened but I'm willing to give whatever we were supposed to have a try."

"We can't do that Potter, we can't because it's gone already. When the wind blows the flame and the fire goes out, the candle stops melting. But I'm glad it stopped before anything else happened."

"What do you mean?"

"Now," whispered the Slytherin, quietly gazing out onto the lake, "Now at least I have the candle wax to look at and I didn't wait until the candle was melted through to let the flame die."

"But Draco, the candle will never melt. The flame will keep burning and the light will continue to shine."

"No it won't Potter. It's out and you can't start a flame if there's no fire to light it again. There's nothing between us anymore Potter. You made sure of that this morning."

"Then explain to me why every time I look into the storm of your eyes I feel like I'm home? Explain to me why the fire is still there. The fire isn't out and you know it. It's never going to go out because it never went out and it never will. You won't let it and you're going to regret this as much as I will if we leave it and we don't settle this now. We're going to look back on this moment years later and regret, regret that we let the chance to fix things slip through our fingers. We let our own pride take over and blind us from the truth."

"I can't be blinded anymore Potter." said Draco not daring to look into the emerald eyes, "I already can't see. They say that love blinds and they were right. The moment I fell in love with you I was unable to see anything past that perfect exterior. I haven't been able to see anything else since. I was blinded years ago Potter and there's nothing you can do to bring my sight back." Draco turned to leave, but Harry grabbed the Slytherin's elbow.

"I can't let you walk out of my life now. Not after seven years."

"If you're just trying to get me in your pants again Potter, it's not going to happen. I'm out of your life now and I'm never coming back. You can't lie to me anymore."

"I didn't lie. I don't even know what happened last night."

"Fine!" exclaimed the Slytherin, tearing the Gryffindor's grip away from him, "You want to know what happened? You were drunk, like you said, and you didn't know what you were saying. I told you I loved you and you told me you loved me too. We had magnificent sex and we woke up. The world hasn't stopped spinning just because we had sex. You are once again the dear Golden Boy with your Holy Trio and I am the scum in the dungeons who is not worthy enough to shake your Golden bloody hand."

"Then I wasn't lying."

"Wasn't lying about what Potter? That you're better than me?"

"No, that I love you."

"Look Potter, didn't I just tell you that you can't get in my pants?"

"No, that's not what I'm trying to do."

"Then what does the almighty Golden boy want now?"

"I want to apologize."

"Really? Well, what if the one you apologize to doesn't give two sods about your pathetic apology?"

"Then I will keep on apologizing until he gets so annoyed at me that he gives in."

The Slytherin rolled his eyes but couldn't help the little smile which currently grew on his lips. That certainly had to be the funniest response he ever received.

Harry took this as an invitation to pull Draco to him and press their lips together.

They slowly pulled away from the kiss to look at the each other.

"I love you Draco. I really do. I wasn't lying."

"How do I know for sure?"

"Because when I look at you I see someone I can live with. I see someone I can grow old with. I feel like waking up next to you every day of my life is what I was put on earth for. Not to defeat Voldemort. Not to be the Golden Boy. But instead, to have you in my arms when I wake. When I see you, I see a future, I see a life."

"Words mean nothing."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes."

"Really? Deep down in your heart, look with your heart, not with your mind. Look and tell me if everything I just said had no effect on you. Look and tell me honestly that words, my words mean nothing."

Draco couldn't respond as Harry had been right. Those words came from the heart and that had been what struck Draco right where it needed to. Those words spoke the truth and there could be no way Draco would allow that fact to slip.

"Draco," said Harry, taking the blonde's hand, "I'm sorry about this morning. But I'm not sorry for whatever happened last night. I wouldn't turn back time for the world, even if I don't remember what happened, I still need you to know that it must have been the truth because this morning I felt something I had never felt before. Draco, you gave me life, which is something I never had before. You gave me that chance to live and it is in your arms where it all happens."

That did it, Draco took his turn eagerly and pressed his lips against Harry's. And they stood there, embracing in each other's soft touch. The world consisted of the two of them and nothing else, no one else.

When they pulled apart, words were spoken in whispers, "Harry, the school year is over. We leave in a week and that's that. There will be no more coming back, no more studying to endure. We're leaving and we're never coming back."

"I know, and you're coming with me."

"I'm what?"

"We're going to spend the rest of our lives together, the life that you gave me. We don't need the school to be together."

"We'll never see each other again Harry."

"Yes we will."

"I'm not like you, Harry. I want a fast paced life full of excitement and change."

"And I'll be there with you every step of the way."

"No you won't. You want security. You want a sense of stability. I can't give you that."

"Draco, you were all for us being together this morning. What happened to all that?"

"You happened, Harry. You opened your mouth and spoke the truth, which in turn made me realize that we just can't be together. There is no way because we want different things and we just can't give that to the other. I can't give you stability and you can't give me change."

"But I can give you excitement and you can give me security."

"That's only half way Harry. Things don't work when they are half way."

"But that is one step closer than it was before isn't it?"

"Yes, but it will never be complete. You cannot stand in the middle of the stairs forever. You need to reach the top to get anywhere else. If you don't, you will just be standing there, in the middle of the stairs not willing to let go of the past and not having enough to continue on for a future."

"I'm not letting you get away from me. You mean too much for me to lose now."

"It's too late Potter. I'm already lost."

With that, the blonde turned around, leaving the raven-haired boy alone once more.

* 4 years later*

Harry walked down Diagon Alley again. He had just landed himself a job at the ministry as an Auror after four years of Auror training. He walked past numerous stores but he never really could help himself from walking past Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions shop without looking inside the window. This time he passed, however, he saw something quite remarkable.

On the other side of the window stood a boy with black scruffy hair, who looked as though he just walked out from a pile of rubbish with his obviously hand-me-down clothes and his skinny figure, not to mention his filthy appearance. Beside this boy stood an elegant looking blonde boy who dressed and looked of obvious wealth. Harry watched as the blonde held his hand out to shake the scruffy boy's hand and the black haired boy paused. Harry watched transfixed as the boy with the black hair stared at the hand and took the blonde's hand into his own. They shook hands and smiled at one another.

"Kind of makes you think doesn't it?"

Harry turned around and there before him he saw those gray eyes he missed so much, "Draco, what are you-"

"I came strolling along and I saw you. How can I miss that messy unruly hair and those dreadful glasses?" Draco teased, smiling, then turned to look through the window again, "Kind of makes you think doesn't it? That perhaps things could have been different. Things might have turned out differently for us, if only things had happened differently."

Harry now turned his attention to the window as well and watched as the two boys in the store laughed and smiled at one another. They would try to catch a glimpse of the other and when their eyes met, it caused endless amounts of smiles and giggles.

"Things might have been different if only I hadn't let you walk away from me twice."

The blond smiled as he returned his gaze upon the Auror, "You finally realized that. It took you long enough."

"What do you mean?"

"I was waiting for you Harry. After I walked away the second time I was waiting. Waiting for you to come after me. But instead you let me walk away from you a second time. I asked you how you could make me believe that you love me and I told you that words mean nothing to me." Draco let out a breath as he sighed, "It's not every day a Malfoy gives someone a second chance. That day I gave you a second chance, but you didn't take it."

"Draco, I didn't know that's what you wanted."

"And that's why we've both walked our separate paths. You have become an Auror and I have continued playing Quidditch. You love what you do and I love what I do."

"But we could have done all that together. We could have gone through all that together."

"No we couldn't have, Harry. Because I would be slowly preventing you from reaching your dreams. Your attention would be focused on me rather than on your own goals. It wouldn't have worked out."

"What about now? I've reached my goal and you've reached yours. Now there is nothing stopping us from being together."

"We will never truly understand one another. You will always want a sense of stability and I can't give that to you. I will go away for my matches and I will get hurt during games. When I want you there with me you won't be able to make it happen because you have your own life. We live in two different worlds, Harry. There is no connection between these two worlds. No thin line to help the other hold onto."

Harry turned his attention back onto the window as silence fell upon them.

The two boys looked so happy with one another.

"You haven't been with anyone since, have you?"

The blond turned his attention to the window and sighed in confession, "No. Have you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because every time I lay in my bed I notice how empty it is, then I think of you. There has never been anyone else who has ever made me feel so alive."

"We live in two worlds that have no connection with the other. Our worlds are separated and there is just no way of making it work."

"There is a way if you believe. If you try hard enough there is always a way to make things work. There may not be a connection now but we can always create one. If it's worth enough to try, it can work."

The two men stood silently beside each other once again. Draco thought about what Harry just said. Could they really learn to connect their different worlds? Was it worth it?

Draco turned towards Harry as he studied the profile of the raven-haired man beside him and offered his hand, "Hi, I'm Draco Malfoy."

Harry turned and looked at Draco then at the offered hand in bewilderment. It took a while but it finally dawned on him slowly as he took Draco's hand in his own and returned the smile, "Hi, I'm Harry Potter."