Harry and... Mrs. Figg?!

Author's Note: It was brought to my attention that a couple of elements of this story, specifically Tonks' joking with Harry about "going commando" while convincing him to purchase a new wardrobe and the idea of Tonks uncovering her metamorphmagus talents by way of the fairytale Rapunzel, have been used previously in other fanfic works. One of those works is "Wish Us Luck" written by Casi and located at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1592970 and the other is "Rapunzel, Rapunze" written by Neith and located at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1401220 . I had not read either of these works previously but since this topic was raised I have read both. The similarities are amazing but, as hard as it is to believe, they are purely coincidental. These stories are excellent pieces and well worth your time. If you, gentle reader*, have not read these stories yet, may I suggest that you immediately go and do so. Afterwards, if you still have the time and inclination, I would be thrilled to have you read and comment on my work. No plagiarism of either writer was intended and I hope there are no ill feelings.

BJH

* The term 'gentle reader' is borrowed from Miss Manners and her newspaper columns.

It was a beautiful summer's day on Privet Drive. The sun was bright and shone on everything with a light that made it seem freshly laundered. That meant that Petunia Dursley was keeping herself indoor. Too much sunlight caused wrinkles she had read somewhere. No to mention it faded the carpets, so the drapes were also pulled tightly closed. The shade protected her carpets and ensured that there was no glare on the screen of the telly to bother her little Duddy-kins as he rested. He had been working so hard all year that the poor boy deserved to relax while he was home on holiday. Any outside work that needed to be done could be done by him. At least that way he would make himself useful, since they were stuck with him.

The doorbell rang, jarring Petunia out of her ruminence. She scurried across the parlor to answer it. Dudley was too engrossed to be disturbed and that boy was out weeding the garden and she wouldn't tolerate him tracking mud into her clean house. As she opened the door, half hoping that it would be those sweepstakes people here to tell that she had won a million pounds in a surprise drawing, and saw that old crackpot, Mrs. Figg, standing there.

"Well, what do you want?" she asked sharply.

Old Mrs. Figg took a half-step backwards, as if she had expected to be met with at least common courtesy if not some kindness, before she spoke, "Well, Petunia dear, I'm off to do a bit of marketing and my leg is aching a bit with this weather..."

"And?" Petunia interrupted, the crazy old woman had ran into the street right in front of Dudley several years ago, causing her poor dear to crash his bicycle into her and badly scraping an elbow. She had gotten a broken leg for her carelessness, which only served her right, but ever since then she was continually bringing up how it pained her when it rained, or when it was going to rain, or when might rain sometime in the next fortnight, as if it was Petunia's problem or she was responsible for it in some way.

"Well," continued Mrs. Figg now that she had Petunia's attention again, "I was hoping that one of your big strong boys would be able to accompany me and carry back my goods?"

Petunia sneered as she thought. Dudley was much too busy to be bothered with this but the boy could haul groceries perfectly well. She would have turned the request down flat but Petunia knew she had to stay on the old bat's good side. The family might want to take a day trip soon and they would need a place to put the boy while they were gone. He was 16 after all, and who knew what kinds of mischief he could get up to if he was left here to his own devices.

"The boy is around back," she answered, "I'll go and send him out to meet you. Just be sure that he is home in time to finish his chores before dark."

With this Petunia all but slammed the door in the old woman's face, not noticing that Mrs. Figg's tongue was pointed straight back at her and blowing a rather juicy raspberry. A few moments later, Harry Potter, in jeans that were three sizes to large, and a ragged t-shirt came into view around the corner. He was attempting to wipe his grimy hands on his even more grimy trousers as he walked.

"Well, hello there, Harry," she said cheerfully.

"Uh, hello, Mrs. Figg," Harry answered. "Aunt Petunia said that you needed some help."

Mrs. Figg gave the door a cold sneer and replied, "I think it is your aunt that needs the help... Professional help, if you catch my drift." She slipped Harry a wink.

They began to walk towards Little Whinging's high street, and Harry had to hurry to keep up with the pace old Mrs. Figg was setting. Harry followed along, about a step behind her, when he looked up and noticed something. A lock of her normally grey hair was colored a shocking PINK! In a heartbeat, Harry understood. They came upon a cracked bit of pavement where the root of a large maple tree had heaved the sidewalk up to a hazardous angle. 'Mrs. Figg' didn't seem to notice and before she knew it she was falling face first to the ground. With reflexes honed on the Quidditch pitch, Harry dove forward and managed to catch his companion before she impacted with the concrete.

"Whoa, thanks Harry," she said.

"No problem Tonks, wouldn't want you to go and put a big old dent in Mrs. Figg's face," Harry replied with a grin.

Tonks looked at him, returning his smile, and said, "How'd you know it was me?"

Harry continued to grin and pointed. "Mrs. Figg doesn't usually have pink highlights in her hair."

Tonks blushed with chagrin and said, "Well, nobody's perfect."

She squinted her eyes as if she was in pain for a second and then shook herself all over, like a wet dog shaking off water, and when it was done Tonks was her old self again.

"Better?" she asked.

"Much."

"Well then, let's be off," Tonks said cheerily.

"Off where?"

"Does it really matter?"

Harry thought for a moment then replied, "Nope."

They walked side by side for a few blocks, neither speaking yet neither uncomfortable with the silence.

After a bit, Harry turned to Tonks and asked, "What's this all about anyways?"

"What's what all about, Harry?"

"Why are you here?"

Tonks looked at the ground for a moment, it didn't help much as she tripped over her own foot as she watched and almost fell.

"Well, it's like this, Harry. You know that the Order has been keeping an eye on you, right?" Harry nodded; he knew he had had minders since last summer. "And we noticed that you've kept yourself cooped up in the house every day, except when you aunt has you out doing chores."

"So what? I reckon that makes me so much the easier to watch," Harry said, not without bitterness.

"Yeah, technically, but we also have been worrying about you. We know that Sirius' death hit you hard..." At the mention of his Godfather's name Harry had closed himself off like a clam. "Harry, Sirius was my cousin. The only member of the Black family that was worth anything. The rest of them... Well, I wouldn't spit on them if they were on fire. I miss him too, but I have the right to speak about him."

Harry glumly scuffed his shoe against the pavement. "Yeah, I reckon."

"Well, we thought you might like an opportunity to get out of the house and maybe get some perspective on things again. Staying locked inside is never going to make things any better. You've got to get out and live."

"And so you were sent out to lecture me?" Anger was beginning to creep into Harry's voice but Tonks supposed that anything would be better than stony silence.

"Actually, I volunteered; it would be great just to get out of that stuffy old house for awhile." Harry was about to retort when he realized she was speaking for herself and Grimmauld Place, not him. "Besides, I'm the logical one for the job."

"How's that?"

"Firstly, I'm an Auror. That means that we can get away from Privet Drive and you would still have some protection if we stumble onto any Death Eaters. Secondly, I knew and loved Sirius, so we have some common ground. Third, I'm one of the few people in the Order who can spend any time in the muggle world and not look out of place. And fourth, I'm also the closest to your own age so you might be a bit more comfortable with me than with, say... Shacklebolt or Moody." Harry had to grin at the image of "Mad-Eye" Moody clomping down the street on his wooden leg, trying to look inconspicuous and all the while screaming "Constant Vigilance!" at the top of his lungs. "Making any sense there, Harry?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

Tonks chuckled, "Well, don't tell anybody. I have my reputation to consider." Harry grinned again. "So, all prepared to go on promenade?"

Tonks linked her arm in his and off they went. They walked to the high street and began window shopping. After a bit Harry noticed that a lot of the people they passed would stare at them. Now he was used to being stared at in the wizarding world but here in the muggle folks usually just ignored him. Tonks noticed this and stopped.

"What's wrong with them?" she asked.

"I dunno," Harry answered, "maybe they don't like the idea of some kid strolling around with an older woman?"

"OLDER WOMAN!" Tonks gasped. "Harry, I'm only 23 for Merlin's sake. That hardly qualifies me as an 'Older Woman'!"

Harry felt his face grow hot. "Well, I was just guessing. I don't know what they're thinking."

"Maybe," Tonks said snootily, "what they're thinking is: 'Why would such a devastatingly beautiful and obviously hot babe be doing hanging about with a filthy little street urchin?"

Harry's face grew even hotter and he turned away from her. Tonks knew immediately that she had gone too far.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that crack. I was just a bit miffed at being called an older woman. After all, I'm not that much older than you are."

Harry shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something that sounded like "yeah, I reckon." Tonks thought for a moment then pulled Harry into an alley.

"OK, we'll just see who was right, shall we?" she said as playfully as she could. Harry just looked at her as she crunched up her eyes. In a matter of seconds, her spiky pink hair had grown to more than shoulder length and turned blonde. She looked somehow younger. Harry couldn't figure it out exactly.

"Is this how you really look?" he asked.

"Harry, I really look anyway I want. I'm a metamorphmagus and that means my appearance is fully under my control. It's not like an illusion or glamour. But this is how I looked before a learned to fully control my abilities, back when I was in Hogwarts."

Harry looked at the girl in front if him. She was really quite pretty and anyone seeing her would think that she was about his own age.

"OK, so if people still look at us, then we know it's because I'm filthy and not that you're o..." Tonks gave him a glare that would have melted stone. "Um, not that I'm younger?"

Tonks continued to glare for a moment then smiled. "Right, then I win the bet."

"What did we bet?"

"I dunno; we'll see when we know who wins."

So they returned to walking the street, arms linked, and window shopping. It took only a couple of minutes before Harry noticed that the people they passed were still looking at them and frowning.

"OK, I reckon you win. They were looking at me." Harry looked a bit sheepish. "But it's not my fault. Aunt Petunia didn't give me a chance to wash up."

"And the clothes?" Tonks asked.

"They're all I have except my school uniforms," Harry answered glumly. "They're Dudley's cast offs."

Tonks made a face and guided Harry down a side street that was lined with houses larger than those on Privet Drive. The second one they came to had an automatic sprinkler system that was spraying water all over the sidewalk. Harry made to move into the street to avoid the water but Tonks gave his arm a sudden pull and he went flying onto the grass. Harry sputtered a bit as the water soaked him and he tried to get up. Tonks stepped up and extended her hand. Harry grabbed it to haul himself up then he suddenly found himself back on the ground with Tonks making sure he got as wet as possible.

"Watch it! What do you think you're doing?"

"Well," Tonks laughed. "I figured that as long as we know what the problem is, we could solve it with a quick shower!"

Harry laughed back at her then, with a yank, pulled her into the sprays as well. For a few minutes they rolled together, wrestling in the wet grass, and laughing like loons. She was just as strong as Harry, but his reflexes were faster so Tonks spent most of the time on her back with Harry pinning her arms. Suddenly, Harry seemed to realize that he was rolling around, sopping wet, with a very attractive female. His face started to burn. He stood quickly and began to brush as much water as he could off himself and his clothes.

Tonks stood next to him, breathing hard. "Well, you're reasonably clean now," she panted.

"But soaked to the skin," Harry finished for her. Harry turned his head to look at Tonks. Her hair was soaked and with a flip of her head she flung it behind her shoulder. Her t-shirt was soaked as well and Harry readily noticed that she wasn't wearing a bra. He also saw that her... He flushed as red as a beet. Tonks laughed at his discomfort and cast a quick drying charm on her clothes. Her hair she pulled into a ponytail before drying it as well. Harry looked at her. She was just so pretty standing there that he couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed her. Harry expected her to hex him but instead she pulled him close and returned his kiss. When they finally separated they were both flushed and out of breath.

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered. "I dunno... You were just so pretty and I..."

Now it was her turn to flush. "Don't be sorry, Harry. It was nice. It's been awhile since I've been kissed like that."

Harry looked at her in utter confusion. "Why? I mean, why wouldn't you be getting kissed on a regular basis?" He thought for a moment about what he had just said and, once again, blushed. "I didn't mean that... It's just that I couldn't imagine..."

"Relax, Harry," Tonks said. "It's just that I'm an Auror. That's not a profession that many men find attractive. And most of the ones that do want to date me end up having a hang-up about my being a metamorphmagus."

"Why would that bother them?" Harry asked.

"It's not so much that it bothers them," Tonks replied with a shrug. "It's just that once they know that I can, they want me to start changing how I look. Not that I mind that, it's just that they wind up wanting me to look like some starlet, or a model, or their old girlfriends, one even wanted me to look like his mother!"

"Ewwww," they both squealed in unison.

"None of them seem to want me to look like me," Tonks said quietly.

Harry pursed his lips in sympathy. "Well then they're all fools, 'cause 'you' is pretty nice to look at."

Tonks looked at him shyly. "Thanks, Harry," was all she could say.

After drying Harry off, they returned to walking by the shops. Outside of one, Tonks stopped short and almost knocked Harry down.

"Harry," she said, "you don't like wearing those old rags, do you?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't have much choice."

She looked at him sternly, and even then Harry couldn't help but think that she looked adorable.

"Choices are where you put them, Harry, not where other people do," she said and pulled him into the shop.

She spent almost an entire hour pulling clothes off the rack and holding them up to Harry to see if they would fit. Suddenly she turned on him.

"Boxers or briefs?" she asked.

Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Wha'?" he managed to say.

"I said boxers or briefs? You know, which do you prefer?" She watched as Harry turned bright red. "Oh! I understand. You prefer to 'go commando'."

If it was at all possible Harry turned even redder. "Boxers," he stammered.

Finally, Tonks had a pile that she was satisfied with and took them up to the cashier.

"Uh, Tonks," Harry whispered. "Um, I haven't got any money. I can't pay for these things."

Tonks looked at him. He was obviously embarrassed by the situation but she wasn't going to have any of it.

"Not to worry," she said with a smile. "I'll lend you enough to buy one set - and you WILL pay me back - and we'll tell them to hold the rest until you get to the bank." She turned to the cashier and pulled a plastic card out of her wallet.

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"Oh that, it's a Gringotts Dead Beat card. It allows me to buy things in the muggle world and have the costs taken directly from my vault at Gringotts. I can even use it in one of the muggle ATM's to get their money directly. The best thing about it is that I don't have to pay any of the goblin's fees on currency exchange, although I assume they've rigged the exchange rate to make a profit there." This last was said in a whisper.

"Maybe I ought to see about getting one of those?" Harry answered.

"Couldn't hurt."

They finished paying and Harry went into a fitting room to change while Tonks put the rest of the things on hold.

"So, how much do I owe you?" Harry asked when they had gotten back on the streets.

Tonks looked him up and down. Harry was now wearing a snug pair of jeans that hugged his bum in a way that she liked and felt guilty about liking all at the same time. He was also wearing a maroon shirt, unbuttoned halfway down his chest to show a white strappy undershirt beneath. She grinned at him in a way that made Harry squirm.

"I'd say it was just about the cost of a nice dinner the next time we go for a stroll," she said with a sly smile. Harry blushed almost to match his shirt.

They turned and began to walk back in the general direction of Privet Drive. Instead of hooking arms, Tonks reached down and grasped Harry's hand. They began to talk again. Not about anything in particular and changing subjects as the whim took them.

"So, Harry, your relations never told you that you were magical?"

"Nope, I think they were too busy thinking that they could bully it out of me. I didn't find out until Hagrid tracked me down to give me my Hogwarts letter."

"Didn't you do any accidental magic growing up? I did tons of it as a kid. That should have tipped you off."

"Yeah well, it might have if I have known there was such a thing as magic, but mostly I just tried to ignore it."

"How did your aunt and uncle react when you would do something?"

"Oh, it would totally freak them out. You know how my hair is always messy? Well this one time my aunt got so aggravated at it that she cut it all off." Tonks' eyes went wide. "Yeah, she practically shaved my head," Harry laughed at the memory. "She was really honked off when she woke up the next morning and I had grown it all back." Harry looked over, expecting to see Tonks smiling. Instead, she had this shocked look on her face that had Harry looking around for Death Eaters.

"Harry," she managed when she found her voice, "did you just say that you were able to grow your hair back?"

Harry shrugged like it was totally unimportant. "Yeah, Aunt Petunia chopped it all off and I was so angry that I guess I magiced it all back overnight. Why?"

Tonks continued to look at him strangely. "Harry, the way my family found out that I was a metamorphmagus was when I was about four years old. My dad had read me the fairy tale about Rapunzel and how she had really long hair." Harry nodded, not knowing where this was going with this. "Well, that night I went to sleep and dreamed that I was Rapunzel. In the morning, I had grown my hair until it reached all the way from my window to the ground."

Harry now looked as shocked as Tonks. "You mean that I'm..."

"Maybe. Do you think you could do it again?"

Harry's mouthed worked soundlessly for a few seconds before he said, "I... I don't know."

Tonks pulled him over to a park bench and sat him down. "Try it," she said firmly, "Right now."

Harry looked around. "How?"

Tonks thought for a moment. "Just close your eyes and try to... try to push your hair out."

Harry scrunched up his eyes like he had seen Tonks do so often and tried. He was holding his breath and straining when he felt Tonks' hand on his arm.

"Harry, look..." she said in amazement.

Harry opened his eyes and was shocked to see that he had managed to grow his hair until it hung down his back even farther than Bill Weasley's ponytail.

"Does this mean..."

"I think it does..."

"Wow"

"You can say that again."

"Harry," Tonks said eventually, "we need to work on this. This could be important, especially against You-Know-Who."

Harry began to get excited. "Yeah, and wait 'til Ron hears about this! And Hermione! She'll have kittens!"

Tonks began to shake her head. "No Harry, I think this is something you'd best keep secret."

"From everybody?" Harry asked. "Even from Professor Dumbledore?"

Tonks thought for a moment. "I don't know about that, but for now it might be a good thing. The element of surprise and all. The fewer who know about it the better."

They tried to get Harry to do more but he was so excited that he could barely get his hair to go back to its original length, so they gave up and decided to head back to the Dursleys. They walked all the way back hand in hand and not saying anything. Harry was smiling broadly and thinking how nice it was to be with a girl and not have all the drama that being with Cho always entailed. Tonks was fun and she knew not to get upset over little things. Sure she would get miffed but it would pass quickly and things would get back to normal. Harry chuckled at the idea of Tonks and normal going together. All too soon they were at the front door of number 4. Harry looked at Tonks nervously, not knowing what to do. Tonks decided for him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. Harry returned it gladly. They broke apart when the front door opened and Aunt Petunia gasped in horror.

"Just what is going on here?" she demanded.

Harry was too embarrassed to speak but Tonks recovered quickly. "I was just saying good night to Harry if you couldn't reason it out," she said.

"And just who might you be?"

"Aunt Petunia," Harry began, "this is my friend..."

"Dora," Tonks put in. "My name is Dora if it is any of your business."

Petunia gawped for a second then regained her affronted dignity. "And what happened to Mrs. Figg? Boy, I sent you out to do an old woman a kindness and you wind up... with this..."

"Mrs. Figg is just fine," Tonks said. "Harry and I took care of her nicely, thank you very much. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish saying goodbye to my boyfriend."

Aunt Petunia didn't know what to make of this so she just slammed the door in their faces. Harry and Tonks burst into giggles and walked back to the street.

"Dora?" Harry asked tentatively.

Tonks blushed slightly. "I know it seems silly but everyone calls me Tonks and it seemed that today was different... that I was different."

Harry smiled. "OK, so Dora it is. But what's this about 'your boyfriend'?"

"What? You mean you didn't enjoy kissing me?" Dora said with mock affront. "You don't want to be my boyfriend?"

Harry gave a snort. "I'd have to be dead to not want that, but don't you think it might be... difficult?"

Dora thought for a moment before answering, "Yeah, it might. Why don't we just relax and see what happens, OK?" Harry nodded and Dora smiled a wicked smile. "Well, in that case, kiss me again 'cause I think your aunt is snooping on us." And Harry did.

Author's Note: I had been tempted to add another portion or two to this fic as some plot bunnies have been running rampant in my head lately. However, due to the situations mentioned in the preceding Author's Note, this will not be happening. I hope anyone reading this understands and is not disappointed.