The Things We Do For Love

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE CHAPTER 10

Harry looked out over the sea of mourning people. He should have known her funeral would be crowded with people that never even knew her. She was the one who saved them all; the Girl Who Died, they liked to call her.

Drawing in a rattling breath, Harry shielded his eyes from the blinding sunlight, tilting his head to the heavens. It was a clear blue afternoon with the birds chirping happily, blissfully unaware of past events. It was funny how nature seemed to mock people in their grief.

Harry hated the sun that laughed at him in his warmth and happiness. Slowly, he brought his gaze back to the sea of black, which was by far more comforting. He stood on a platform, slightly higher than everyone who stared expectantly at him.

Clearing the lump in his throat, he began the speech that would always be remembered in the Wizarding World. "My name," he paused to push the knot in his stomach down. "Is Harry James Potter. I know all or perhaps most of you have heard of me, but very few of you actually *know* me.

"I came into the Wizarding World a scared, lonely boy. I had nothing, and no one. I had met everything I now hold so dear at Hogwarts. I had met Hermione," he choked out the name. "As well as Ron, my first year there. Soon they became my friends, later my best friends, then my family, and finally, my world. But things were never safe in my world. They knew this, but still remained in it. I never really understood why, but maybe after I read this to you all, we all can understand why.

"When Hermione died," he abruptly changed topics, his voice quivering with emotion. "It really did not come as a surprise for her. She had lived a dangerous life, especially in the last months of it. In the event of her death, Hermione had magicked a letter to be delivered to me, which it was, and it was her wish, her *last* wish, that I read it to you all," he sucked in a shaky breath and reached into the breast pocket of his black coat.

In shuddering hands, he produced a few sheets of wrinkled parchment. The creases were worn, suggesting that it had been read and re-folded up several times. The ink was smeared with fingerprints and tear drops, both his and hers.

Clearing his throat, Harry began to read in a low, clear voice for all to hear.

"'Dearest Harry- If you are reading this, then that must mean I had failed when I needed to succeed the most. It is my wish for you to read this letter at my funeral, Harry. I want you to make them see what my life was like; I need *you* to see, Harry.

"'What you all need to realize is that death, for me, is preferable to life; well, at least my life. I have already been dying, little by little these past few months. At least now, it is finally over and I can be left in peace.

"'It was after our fourth year that I really began to change. I personally did not know Cedric Diggory, but his death just might have affected me the most. I was lost and confused, something I did not enjoy being. What did Cedric Diggory ever do to deserve death? The answer I was to find was nothing; he had done nothing but live. And that, Harry, was when we all changed. That was the precise moment when we: you, Ron and me, all grew up, and it had come too soon. It wasn't fair, and this realization brought on that terrible lesson that *life* wasn't fair. I was scared shitless.'" Harry broke off here to scan the faces of the intent listeners.

"'I feared for myself and family, feared for my classmates. I feared for Ron and his family, but mostly, I feared for you, Harry. Watching you everyday pained me. It was wrong, all of it. No one deserved to be put through the Hell you were in. I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. I took action, steps to insure the safety of those around us. The summer after our sixth year, I began to do volunteer work at the Ministry. About after a week there, I happened across two distinguished looking gentlemen in the midst of what appeared to be a very important argument. Both could not seem to come to an agreement, so naturally, I intervened.

"'After only hearing snippets of their argument, I was able to come to the most straight forward, convenient solution. Well, needless to say, both were amazed that such a young person could devise such a simple conclusion in mere minutes, as opposed to hours. As fate would have it, those two wizards - who shall remain nameless for security purposes - were two of the highest-ranking Aurors, serving the Ministry as Intelligence Agents who trained spies. I had astounded both into a stupor with my clear thinking logic in a complicated situation," Harry stopped here to smile softly at the memory of Hermione's intellect. She was really quite brilliant.

"'Logic; that was what made me the perfect choice for a spy. Remember our first year, the spells and enchantments guarding the sorcerer's stone? The riddle involving the different potions took Severus weeks to perfect, but I solved it in less than five minutes. Logic was our secret weapon; I became an asset to the cause of good.

"'Within two weeks time I could withstand the Cruciatus Curse, yield the killing curse and resist the Imperius Curse. I was to go undercover; I was to be a spy against Voldemort.'"

Several people flinched at the name, but Harry mercilessly continued. "'There, I wrote it: Voldemort. You were right, Harry, not saying the name only added to the fear.

"'I rose quickly in Voldemort's inner circles under the name of Lily Evans. Lily did her master's bidding while I was able to retrieve useful information for the Ministry. It went on like this. I did terrible things; no, terrible isn't a strong enough word for what I have done. I don't think there is a word for it. I write this, not to justify my behavior, but to explain it.

"'I was ashamed of myself and who I became. I threw away all moral decency and betrayed all of my beliefs; and yet, if given the chance, I would do it all over again. I don't pretend to be some sort of hero. I don't even know if what I had done made a difference. What could I have done? I was only one person. I don't even believe I'll make it to Heaven." Harry had to stop to suppress the rising sob. Mentally shaking himself, he forced himself to continue.

"'You know that old Muggle adage, "The rode to Hell is paved with good intentions?" I think it's true. I think I'm in Hell right now; it would be no more than what I deserve. But there's a catch Harry. My life was a living Hell, so I'm already used to it. It will be like home to me.

"'So now I wish for you to thank and say goodbye for me to the following people:

"'The Weasley Family,'" Harry looked up into the cluster of tear streaked redheads and continued, "'You were all the perfect model of the idle wizarding family. The world should be filled with more people such as yourselves.

"'Ron,'" Harry met the bleak, lifeless eyes of his best friend and then met the grim face of Elisa who was leaning heavily against him for support, and then he continued. "'I thank you for bringing laughter and love into my life. You were the brother I never had and I will always love you. Please, take care of Elisa for me. Seeing you two together never failed to make me happy. You both compliment each other so well; never lose touch of that love you share. Stay together.

"'The Hogwarts' Professors including, but not limited to, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Rubeus Hagrid, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin," Now Harry's gaze found each one of his professors who had become like friends to him, almost family. "'You gave me the world at my feet and the knowledge I craved. For this, I thank you.

"'Mom and Dad," Harry sadly met the steady gaze of the last two remaining Grangers. "'Please don't be mad that your daughter was a murderer. It was your love that gave me the strength to do what had to be done. I wish I would have said this more often, but I love you, I always have and I always will.

"'And finally, I'd like to say goodbye to you, Harry. You were my rock; the one thing I was forever sure of," he had to stop to sweep away the tears from his eyes.

"'I spied for the Ministry out of the benefit of us all, but I actually did it for you, Harry. I write all of these things down because I can't seem to find the words to say them to you, which is why I have said nothing all this week. I loved you so God damned much, Harry. I hope I got the chance to tell you so before I died.

"'I'd like to close now with a word that I wish I had used more often with you all, Love (Always...Forever), Hermione Jessica Granger.'"

Harry deafly refolded the letter and placed it back in his breast pocket, right over his heart. His tears were unrestrained as he shakily addressed the sobbing crowd.

"Hermione did have a chance to tell me before she died, and did so with her last breath. But I," his voice was trembling and his throat was aching, but he just *knew* that he had to say this; it was now or never. "I never got the chance to tell her that I loved her as well." He met the eyes of the various mourners. "That was why Ron and Hermione remained in my world, became my world. It was for love. Hermione has taught me many things in my life, but this lesson was the most important."

Harry closed his eyes, but the tears still managed to leak through. With a soft smile, Harry announced in a strong, clear voice, "I love Hermione Jessica Granger, and I always will."

Finally finishing, Harry moved to stand beside Ron, being followed by every pitying gaze as the ceremony mercilessly continued. He felt Ron's hand on his shoulder, but neither of them said anything; they didn't have to.

Time seemed to fly by, and soon, Harry found himself standing over Hermione's open grave. He looked down into it and couldn't help but to think that it should be him in it. A small weight in his right hand let him know there was something in it. Looking down, he saw a single flower, a lily. He stared at it for quite some time, remembering Hermione's words.

'I rose quickly in Voldemort's inner circles under the name of Lily Evans.'

Harry didn't think that he could ever hate that name, yet here he stood, cursing it to Hell. Dejectedly, he tossed the flower into the grave and they immediately began to cover it with dirt. He stood there, tears blurring his vision. Everyone seemed intent on watching him, sympathy in their eyes.

He didn't want their sympathy. It brought him no comfort; if anything, their pity made it all that much worse. He felt pinned down by their eyes, there was no escaping them. Dear God, he'd never forget those eyes.

Turning his back to them all, Harry walked away. He took his glasses off and stowed them in his pocket with Hermione's letter. The world became nothing more but a comforting blur around him. Harry didn't want to see anymore.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ (A/N): HEY...you were all warned, I told you it would be sad! The epilogue will be posted very soon, after I edit it...It starts out very sad, but I really did try to end it on a happy note, though once you start reading it...you might question how it could possibly end happily! THANKS TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS.....YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU!