The Things We Do For Love

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE (prologue/?)

He looked at me over the rim of his goblet filled with pumpkin juice and gave me a smile along with a wink. It took everything I had not to burst into tears as the love in his gaze made me blush. Harry was a stupid bloke, so trusting, so loyal. Never would he even consider that I was untrustworthy, or not loyal. He would never question me and would always trust me he would never even suspect me to turn against him, even though I already had. I am Hermione Granger, the Death Eater.

I managed a wane smile along with a weak wave, he didn't notice how strained my expression was. Looking down at my golden plate my eyes fill with tears. I didn't want to hurt Harry, or Ron, or anyone for that matter, but I had to, it was my job. I am Hermione Granger, trained killer.

Absently I rub my left forearm. It was getting harder to keep up the masquerade, harder to pretend that nothing had changed; but in reality, everything had changed. A lone tear falls into my goblet of pumpkin juice, thankfully unnoticed to all except me. I lift the goblet to my lips and take a sip with a soft smile for show. I am Hermione Granger, Academy Award nominee for Best Actress.

As I place my drink down, I find myself under two pressing and concerned stares. They worry about me, the fools. If only they knew a fraction of what my life was like; knew what it was that I did those nights when I left them to "study". The silence is stretched too long as I gaze politely at them while they gawk at me. I open my mouth to speak, but change my mind before any words come out. I flash them my phony smile, the one I have come to perfect. I am Hermione Granger, the betrayer.

Being the first to look away, I cast my gaze around the Great Hall. It was the exact same as when I first entered it, a young hopeful girl. Whatever happened to that sweet, innocent girl? What happened to her that made her what she is today, too mature, too cynical for her age I'll tell you what happened to her, she sacrificed herself out of the love for her two best friends, the two best friends that never even noticed her sacrifice. Anger, hot, white and pure, evaporates my tears. I am Hermione Granger, the friendless friend.

Almost uncontrollably my eyes settle on the one person that knows the truth. Professor Snape, too, was massaging his left forearm. Our eyes lock knowingly. His eyes melt and the lines around his jaw soften, somehow, this comforts me. This gives me the strength to carry on, the courage to face that which is unavoidable. I am Hermione Granger, the Dark Lord's chief assassin.

My attention is drawn back to the others. Reluctantly, I turn my head to the two most important men in my life. They are laughing and joking happily, sheltered from the war that is growing ever nearer to them, but I am not. Seeing them so carefree reminds me of what I was, who I was and what I can never be again I did this for you Harry, and for you too, Ron. I sold my soul to the devil and voluntarily accepted damnation, all out of the love that I have for you both. I am Hermione Granger, spy for the Ministry of Magic.

I have seen things, undercover, in the Death Eaters' circles, things that have robbed me of my innocence and stripped me of my rightful life. It gets harder every time I'm called to him, every time I kill in his name; and I have killed, more people than I can remember. One by one the lifeless forms of the dead flitter through my mind and I berate myself saying, you killed that father defending his family That husband shielding his wife. The guilt is overbearing, yet I bear it all alone. I comfort myself knowing that I am fighting for the right side, by infiltrating the evil side.

* * * * *

"Hey can you pass the salt?"

Hermione Granger slammed back into the painful reality that she dwelled in. She met the green imploring eyes, the same eyes that had sent her mind on its reverie. He was looking expectantly at her, expectantly, for what?

Again the full force of where she was hit her. The salt, he asked for salt, you git...she mentally scolded herself. Quickly, before Harry could ask her what was wrong, she smiled at him, that cool, charismatic smile she reserved for when he caught her thinking about her travesty of a life.

"Sure, anything for you, Harry."

He didn't realize how true her words were.