Cold

"Oi! Potter!"

James opened his eyes and squinted. Caroline Bassie, the extremely tough and vivacious fifteen year old Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, was standing in front of him, her hands on her hips. She looked nothing short of murderous.

"What the bloody hell d'you think you're doing? My God, James, you're really out of it - there's no way we can win the Quidditch Cup if you're sleeping through the briefings!"

James sat up against the wall and sighed. "I'm sorry, Caroline."

She looked at him suspiciously, waiting for an explanation, obviously. James was distinctly aware that all the rest of the Gryffindor House team was staring at him, all wide awake. From behind Caroline's back, James' cousin and friend Will Weasley raised his eyebrows, shooting him a look that said clearly, "Are you mad?"

James cleared his throat and sat up some more, avoiding his captain's eyes. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Are you an insomniac?" she demanded, catching his eyes. "That's the same excuse you've given me for the past week and a half!"

"But it's true," he protested, and it really was. He hadn't seen her in about a week and a half, not since the episode on the edge of the forest, and it was driving him mad - her face with the bruise would appear in his mind's eye whenever he closed his eyes, making it impossible for him to sleep.

"Uh huh," she said doubtfully, but thankfully turned around and walked towards the blackboard where she had written several plays. "Anyway, now that we have everyone's attention, back to this - the Chaser on the far right - let's say it's you, Taylor - sweeps in just like that - and then-"

"Ooh," Nan Volls, a Chaser, cried, standing up quickly. "Caroline, I've just remembered - I've got to meet with Professor Delacour about something - probably my mark on that essay - and I can't be late. She'll murder me."

Caroline said nothing for a moment, trying to get her temper under control. "Fine," she managed a few moments later through clenched teeth, "leave. You too, Potter, and get some sleep. Oh, and the rest of us might as well leave too, then, since half the bloody team'll be gone!"

They all nodded and stood, Caroline's foul mood not affecting them in the least - she always got overly-testy when it came to Quidditch, but they all knew she would be over it in an hour. She was now muttering about Hufflepuff beating Ravenclaw to herself and how they were doomed to come in last this year, but no one paid much attention.

Will came over to James, looking at him oddly. "James, you're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," his twin sister Alex said, joining them. She was a Beater with Caroline (as well as Head Girl), Will was the Seeker, and James the Keeper. "You've been acting really weird lately."

"I'm fine," James lied. He wondered how long he would be able to go until they figured it out - both were incredibly smart, they got it from their mother (James's godmother) Hermione.

The two said nothing more, but James could feel them shooting him and each other suspicious glances as they walked out of the locker rooms, across the pitch, and up the hill to Hogwarts. James didn't notice, however, when the two hung back slightly and had a voiceless conversation behind his back with their eyes - it was time to do something about him.

~*~*~*~*

"Are we all here?"

Katharine Black rolled her eyes. "Yes, Percy! Get on with it!"

Percival Edward Weasley Junior gave her a withering glare, but deemed it below his standards to comment on her tone and instead surveyed the Gryffindor common room. It was empty but for four children with varying shades of red hair and two with black - the senior members of the Weasley/Black/Potter clan currently at Hogwarts, minus James, whom the "meeting" concerned. Ella Potter, his younger sister, was present, perched on the edge of an armchair; his two best friends, twins Alex and Will, were there as well, seated on the couch; Katharine (the only black-haired girl), a fifth year, was in the chair Ella was perched upon; Percy (a sixth year) was seated before them all in front of the dying fire; and lastly, Orion Black, Katharine's mischievous seventh year, black-haired, older brother and another of James's best friends, was on the floor leaning against the couch Alex and Will were on. All had known each other for ages, and all were extremely close. They all just considered themselves "cousins" even though Katharine and Orion weren't related by blood at all, but that didn't matter one bit. Percy had taken over as leader because, as his father said, it came naturally to him. Percy puffed out his chest where the shiny Prefect badge was pinned unconsciously.

"C'mon, Perce, let's start," Orion said, stretching. "I've got detention tomorrow morning."

"What did you do this time?" Ella asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Hmm...Don't really remember, actually. Something that irritated our dear Professor Delacour - which, as you all know, is just so hard to do-"

Alex whacked him on the side of the head, calm as you please, and he shut his mouth obediently.

"Now," Percy said huffily, sitting up tall. "We're here, as you all know, to discuss one James Potter. We all agree that he's been acting rather odd lately, correct?"

Katharine rolled her eyes. "Yes, Percy! He's bloody in love - all of the girls know that!"

Percy was nothing less than shocked. "What?" he said, forgetting to be proper. His mouth was hanging open. Orion was shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Not possible," he was muttering. Alex and Will looked resigned, Ella was smiling grimly, and Katharine looked satisfied.

"We have no evidence of that!" Percy exclaimed when his voice returned.

"God Percy, why is it so hard to believe? Boys, honestly," Ella said. "And look here, Mum thinks he is too."

"Aunt Ginny thinks he is?" Orion echoed, lifting his head, looking slightly afraid.

"Yeah, and she's his mother too - if she thinks he is, then he is," Katharine said, as if this decided it.

Percy's shock was now replaced with grimness. "Alex?"

Alex sat, unmoving, for a while. "I think he is," she said finally. Orion snorted, and she hit him once again.

"Will?"

Will still looked resigned. "Percy, mate, I've honestly no idea what's going on with him."

Percy turned back to Katharine and Ella. "What evidence do you have, then, girls?"

"Just look at him! He's always got that vacant sort of expression-"

"He doesn't pay attention when you talk to him-"

"-had one of my Ravenclaw mates come tell me she thinks he's in love - Ravenclaw-"

"Wait," Percy said slowly, and turned to the three seventh years. "Has he been paying attention lately? In classes and things?"

The three exchanged glances. Orion squirmed slightly, "Er..."

"No," Alex said flatly, shaking her head.

Her twin made similar negative noises. "You should've seen him during Quidditch practice today. Caroline was about to knock him upside the head with her bat."

Everyone winced slightly, knowing Caroline's temper. A silence rang through the room.

"You all know the way our parents look at each other sometimes, with that really sort of glazed expression?" Ella said finally, her manner subdued.

Everyone nodded, downcast, knowing where this was going.

"That's how he looks," she concluded. Orion stared straight ahead, expressionless; Alex stared at her lap while Will sighed heavily; Katharine looked at Percy, also subdued; and Ella focused on the fire behind Percy.

"Who is she, then?"

Orion's voice rang out after long minutes of stillness, voicing everyone's thoughts. He was met with silence.

~*~*~*~*

15 January

I know this isn't smart at all to start this diary up again, but I must - it felt wonderful to get things out in the open. I just won't bring it home, and I shall burn it eventually.

I left off abruptly before because he walked in - Father did, that is. James saw the mark he left on my face and nearly blew up.

James cares about me.

It's wonderful and brilliant and strange and scary and a million other emotions to write that - I'm feeling slightly breathless by just reading them.

I haven't seen him face to face in a little more than a week, since we met on the edge of the forest. I don't know why - I'm scared to see him...Have I been avoiding him? No, surely not. Has he been avoiding me? He hasn't sent me a note since the forest, telling me to meet him somewhere. No, I won't let myself think about that.

I can't concentrate. Potions is murder - he's so close I feel him, even though we're on opposite sides of the room. I have it again tomorrow, and I don't think I can handle it, diary...

~*~*~*~*

I can't do this.

"Elisabette? Are you okay?"

Elisabette made herself focus on the dubious face in front of her - Talia's.

"Yeah, you went really pale for a second," Jocelyn chimed in.

"I'm fine," Elisabette said, her tone harsher than she had meant it to be, but it succeeded in fooling the two girls and they proceeded in going down the stone steps into the basement of Hogwarts. They turned and walked into a classroom with wooden tables, benches, and cauldrons set upon them. Automatically Elisabette sat between Talia and Jocelyn on the far left side of the room, and automatically she began removing her ingredients.

Professor Miller, the Head of Gryffindor House and Potions teacher, was talking with Orion Black. Usually this annoyed Elisabette to no end - she definitely favored the Gryffindors, especially the Black's (she was very close to the children's parents) - but it didn't today, just as it hadn't last Friday and the Fridays before the Christmas holidays. She didn't know why, it just had suddenly seemed so trivial.

"Is this everyone?" Professor Miller asked, scanning the students. She frowned, and Elisabette knew why.

"Where is James Potter?"

"Please, Professor, he should be coming," Will Weasley said, raising his hand slightly.

Brent McFarren, seated behind Talia, Elisabette, and Jocelyn, sniggered. "Probably in a closet somewhere with a Hufflepuff."

It was a longstanding mentality the Slytherins had of James Potter - that he was a bit of a playboy, though not as bad as Orion Black. There was no basis in these accusations; the Slytherins simply wanted something that would soil the star Gryffindor Keeper's reputation.

The two seated with him sniggered, and Elisabette had to physically restrain herself from turning around. Her cool-headed reason kicked in after the initial impulse to slap Brent - Think, Elisabette. Don't blow it all over a stupid comment.

James came hurrying in seconds later, out of breath. "Professor - Professor Keis had to - to speak with - with me, Professor Miller..."

"James," she said sternly, "Sit down, and mind you're not late again."

"God," Jocelyn huffed as James sat down with Orion and his current girlfriend, Patricia, "if it had been one of us, she would have taken away at least ten points."

"Really," Talia agreed, leaning forward to study a chip on her silver cauldron, putting Elisabette suddenly in full view of the Gryffindors. She didn't look up, but she hoped with everything she had that James was looking at her.

After a moment, she couldn't resist, and lifted her gaze - he was unpacking his supplies, not looking at her.

This shouldn't bother you.

But it does!

It shouldn't!

She shook her head, her eyes wide.

I can't believe I'm arguing with myself.

Professor Miller turned towards the blackboard and began explaining the new Potion they would be starting today, and Elisabette forced herself to pay attention. However, before she could do that, her thoughts strayed, and she had a sudden mental image of James snogging a Hufflepuff...It haunted her throughout the lesson.

~*~*~*~*

The bell rang, and since this was the last class of the day and of the week, there was a scramble to get outside. Gryffindors mingled in with Slytherins, each to the other's horror and disgust. All Elisabette knew was he was somewhere behind her-

Someone bumped into her slightly, shoving a piece of parchment in her hand. She looked up to see James merely a foot in front of her, followed by Orion and the two Weasley twins. She clutched the piece of parchment, sure her face was the same color, and dimly heard Talia curse the four of them.

The first thing Elisabette thought of was the issue of where she would read it. She couldn't do so in her dorm without making people suspicious, so, making sure she was the last Slytherin coming out of the Potions classroom - she was - she went through the line of Gryffindors once they had arrived in the entrance hall and ducked into an empty classroom.

Shaking slightly, she unrolled the bit of parchment and her stomach turned over - James' messy scrawl filled the page.

Elisabette-

I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you since the forest last week, but I've watched you, don't worry. It seems I always pick you out in crowds quicker than anything, just automatically.

We need to talk, urgently. I'll say more face to face. How about tonight after dinner, just inside the secret passageway to Hogsmeade on the third floor - password's "Dissendium". You know where it is. I'm late for Potions writing this, but it's the only time I can do it.

-J.

Her heart swelled. He was late to Potions because of her! A sudden feeling of guilt spread across her - she had suspected him of snogging a Hufflepuff!

Another thought, however, soon overtook the feeling of guilt. She finally looked face to face with facts - she and James were not a couple. So what if he snogged a Hufflepuff? Why should she care? Right?

~*~*~*~*

Alex Weasley's head was spinning.

Her breath came in a short gasp, and she stared straight ahead at her cousin James' back, disbelief and shock etched on her face.

"Alex? You okay?" her twin, Will, asked.

She turned to face him, wanting desperately for him to know what was up - but he didn't. He hadn't seen.

"God Alex, you look like you just walked through Nearly Headless Nick," Orion commented from Will's other side.

Alex looked at him, feeling dizzy. Her mind was having problems processing what she had just seen - James brushing against the Malfoy girl and slipping her a piece of parchment - and also piecing together things. This explained it all - his secrecy, lying about not being in love - it wasn't because he wasn't in love; it was because he didn't want to tell who he was in love with...

The true complications of the situation hit her, and she began imagining their family's reaction if he told them he was in love with none other than Draco Malfoy's daughter...But was he really in love? A mental picture of the girl floated up in Alex's mind. She was stunningly attractive...A bubble of hope welled up in her heart. Perhaps he thought he was in love with her because of her looks!

This seemed much more logical, given the fact that Elisabette Malfoy hated all Gryffindors, especially Potter's, Weasley's, and Black's, and was a snobby, cold girl. There was no way she'd look at James twice.

But then again...Alex looked over her shoulder as they entered the entrance hall just in time to see a blond duck through the Gryffindor's behind her and into a deserted classroom. Her back was to Alex, but she could tell Elisabette didn't want to be seen, and she was clutching the parchment tightly. Was she going into a spare classroom to read the note, perhaps? But if she didn't like him, she surely would have a good laugh over it with her girlfriends instead of reading it in private, right?

They went into the Great Hall for dinner and sat in their normal seats. Alex was extremely preoccupied, thinking. Unwillingly she was piecing things together - when James would suddenly disappear, how they would knock into each other in hallways, how James always seemed to be looking at her whenever she was nearby...

She suddenly felt the dilemma she was faced with. Should she give him away and tell the family? It would cost her their friendship, but they might be able to stop him before he went too far - or, instead of messing with the family, Alex herself could do it...

She forced herself to eat, still thinking. She would go with him tonight when he went to meet her - she was sure that's what he would be doing...

~*~*~*~

"Where are you going?" Alex asked suddenly, watching as James stood from the Gryffindor table after dinner.

James felt his pulse quicken, and he swallowed, meeting his cousin's eyes. "Library," he said calmly.

"Good," she said, standing as well. "I need to go there as well. Want to walk with me?"

His heart stopped. She was looking at him deliberately. He held her eyes and nodded slowly, and together the two left the hall.

"James," she whispered once they were traveling down the third floor corridor to the library, "I know what you're doing."

"What are you talking about?"

She stopped, turning to face him. "Think James," she said in a low, urgent voice. "Think before you do this, please. I'm not telling, but soon, James, soon it will come out."

He was frozen, and knew in a second that she was on to him. It would be futile, not to mention stupid, to lie. "How do you-"

"You should be more careful," she cut in, still in the same urgent voice, "who you pass notes in front of." Alex looked at him for a moment again. "Think," she whispered, this time with concern. "James, is this for real? Is she worth it?"

She left him standing, dumbfounded, merely two or three feet from the one-eyed witch. He had no time to wonder how Alex knew he was meeting Elisabette inside the passage as he walked to it, said the spell while tapping it, and slid down through the tunnel. He landed on the cold, damp floor a second later and lit his wand.

While he waited, thoughts swarmed through his head. Alex must have seen him when he slipped Elisabette the note...Damn, who else saw him, then?

And what was Alex talking about, "is she worth it"? Of course she was! She was worth everything, everything and anything...

Soon he heard the swish of fabric against the metal slide and stood, brushing off his robes. She appeared soon after that and stood, pushing her long hair out of her face, and turned to look up at him, an unwilling smile on her lips. "That was fun."

He mustered a smile, and hers faded, morphing into the mask again. "I saw."

"Saw what?"

"The Weasley girl talking to you."

"Alex?"

"Yeah, if that's her name."

"It is."

"Anyway, yes, I saw her talking to you. What was that about? You looked as though you'd seen a ghost."

James looked down, swallowing. "She knows."

"She does?" Elisabette said immediately, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, what did she say?"

James looked back up from the ground and into her dark blue eyes. "Just that she saw me pass you that note, and that she won't tell."

"Oh," Elisabette said. She felt a strange urge to thank him for being late to Potions on her account, but couldn't form the words. She wasn't used to thanking people. Then her thoughts jumped to Alex again.

"Are you sure that she won't tell?" she asked quietly.

He looked sharply at her. "I'm positive."

Of course, she's a loyal Gryffindor, isn't she? Elisabette thought with sarcasm to herself, but said nothing.

"How have you been?" James asked after a silence, sliding down the cold stone wall to the floor.

She sat down with more grace a little farther away. "Good, I've been good," she said, keeping the shaking in her voice to a minimum.

James looked at her. "You haven't, but then again, neither have I."

Elisabette forced a smile, but didn't deny it. She looked around the tunnel. "How long have you known about this, again?"

James smiled, and drew his trusty old map out of his pocket. "Before I went to Hogwarts, my dad and uncle - well, he's not really my uncle, you know, he's Orion's father - brought Orion and I into private and showed us the map. Uncle Sirius told us that he and my grandfather and their gang of buddies were called the Marauders when they were here, and made the map themselves."

"Do you know who Moony and Wormtail are?" Elisabette asked curiously, looking at the map.

James hesitated. "Yeah."

She looked up at him, an unspoken question in her eyes, prompting him to go on.

"They're both dead. Dad says Uncle Sirius killed Wormtail during the dark times, and Moony was murdered."

"Why did your uncle kill him?" Elisabette asked before she could stop herself. Quickly she apologized. "I'm sorry, I'm prying."

James gave a half smile. "No, 's okay, Sirius killed Wormtail because he worked for Voldemort."

Elisabette nodded. "Right," she said, trying desperately to hide her discomfort.

James cleared his throat, also uneasy. He said the first thing that came to his head.

"So, do you have a nick-name?"

"A what?"

James grinned. "A nick-name, you know, because Elisabette is so long?"

She looked at him in wonderment and shook her head slowly. "No. Do you?"

He shrugged and blushed slightly. "Some people in my family call me Jamie."

Elisabette let out a small snort of laughter. Her eyes shone briefly. "What's it like, James?"

"What?" he asked, also smiling.

"Living in such a big family. You've got tons of cousins, don't you?"

"Yeah, but it's no wonder - Mum has five brothers. She had another, but he died."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's okay. I didn't know him. Died during the war."

"Oh."

He cleared his throat. "What's it like living in such a small family, then?"

"Boring," she admitted. "Mother's got a boring sister who's got an equally as boring daughter that's a couple years older than me - she was in fifth year when we were in first."

The two went on chatting comfortably, and as the minutes passed, the words became easier.

"You know what I've always wanted to know about?" Elisabette asked suddenly a half an hour or so later. She was now leaning against the stone wall next to him, her legs bunched up under her chin.

"What?" he asked, studying her profile.

"The Triwizard Tournament."

James looked at her thoughtfully. "Really?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding. She stole a quick glance at him. "Your father was in it, wasn't he?"

"Yup. By accident," James said slowly. "I don't know much about it."

She turned to look at him fully. "You don't?"

"Yeah. There's so much about my dad I don't know." He snorted ruefully. "I learn the most from damn history books."

"Why?" she asked with concern.

"Dad doesn't talk about his years at Hogwarts at all, except the funnier stories. I know he's been to hell and back, though, and that phrase isn't my own, either - I made Aunt Gwen (Orion's mum) tell me a little something, and she sort of looked at me, and said, 'James, let's just say that your father's been to hell and back, and he'll talk about it to you when he wants to', so that's all I know besides what I can read."

"That's horrible," she said quietly. "But don't feel bad, I don't know much about my dad either."

They sat silently for a moment, but then decided to go up to Gryffindor and Slytherin, respectively. They agreed to meet the next day, same place, same time, and then stood to say goodbye.

"I'll be able to sleep tonight, hopefully," James said with a slightly hoarse voice.

Elisabette looked at him silently, forcing her emotions into her eyes. "Me too."

He carefully touched her cheek. "The bruise is gone."

Her heart was beating hard against her ribs. "Yes, thankfully."

Then he hugged her. He didn't kiss her or touch her tenderly, just hugged her. She tensed, feeling awkward and not used to it at all. What was she doing with him?

~*~*~*~*

James arrived back in the Gryffindor common room moments later, feeling lighter than air. He spotted Will and Orion doing homework in front of the fire, and walked over to them.

He plopped down jovially next to Orion and put his arm around his shoulders. "How're my best mates?"

Will looked up briefly and Orion didn't at all. "I thought you went to the library with Alex," Will said carefully.

"I did," James lied easily. "She's still down there."

"D'you know when she'll be back?" Orion asked, still writing. "I need her to help me with this paper for Transfiguration."

"Oh, I expect she'll be a while yet," James said, and stood, his good mood deteriorating. Surely these two didn't suspect anything?

"I'm going up. See you in a bit."

They grunted in response, and James walked as calmly as he could out of the common room. He was nearly to the boy's stairs when he saw Alex come through the portrait hole. His heart sank. How long would he be able to keep this up?

~*~*~*~*

22 January

I've never been so happy in my life. We talk so much now, about everything (well, almost) and he's told me the funniest stories that he's got into in his life... I've never laughed like this before. It gets easier every time. James told me that practice makes perfect, so he tries to make me laugh at any second.

I feel all girlish and shy when I'm first around him, though. My knees go sort of shaky, and it's a little scary. He's so handsome, diary, so handsome...I want to just look at him all day. There's no way I could get tired of him, no way at all. I'm falling for him, diary, falling for him hard.

~*~*~*~*

January melted into February without any more mentions or obvious suspicion by any of James or Elisabette's friends, and the two kept meeting regularly, talking innocently all the while. James did still take her flying at times in the evenings, and felt his affection to her deepen.

One night in early March he was feeling particularly happy as he slid down the slide to the underground tunnel where he would meet her. He stood up and brushed his clothes off before looking up.

His stomach slid to the floor.

Alex, Will, and Orion were standing in front of him, all three of them looking grim and sober. James knew in that second that all three of them knew it was Elisabette.

"Hello," James said lightly. "You're going to sneak to Hogsmeade too, I see? Great, we can go together."

"If we left now, you'd be standing someone up, wouldn't you?" Will said.

James was taken aback. Will's brown eyes were smoldering - however, it was nothing compared to Orion's eyes. They were ablaze.

He stepped forward, looking like he could barely contain his anger. "What is it, James? Is it her looks? Her gorgeous hair, deep blue eyes, perfect skin? Ah, wait, let me guess, it runs deeper, right? You like her for her mind, don't you?"

"Orion, I love her," James said dangerously.

"Do you? Do you love her, or her looks? Are you in love with her or the thrill of danger that you get because you know you're doing something forbidden?"

James said nothing, and Orion continued, his tone still dangerous.

"Have you thought of what you can do to our family? You'll tear us all apart, James! All for her, all for a pretty girl that gives you a thrill! How selfish can someone be?"

Yet again he was met with silence, and he went on in a quieter voice. "Remember this, though, James - you're my best friend and I'll support you in everything you do. I'll get up in front of our entire family and lie to everyone and say I approve of this, if that's what you want."

"I will too," Will said, stepping up next to Orion.

"All three of us will, James," Alex said, standing next to Will. "We love you."

James opened his mouth to attempt to express his gratitude, but Orion shook his head. "Don't James, just don't."

Alex's eyes blurred with tears. "Come here," she said, sniffling slightly, and opened her arms. James went forward and hugged her tightly, and soon felt the other two close in. The four best friends stood silently together, not noticing the blond girl that appeared at the bottom of the tunnel, watched for a moment, and then turned right back around and went up again.