The Off Season

On the day of tryouts, the sun rose slowly over the horizon, tinting the wispy clouds with vivid colors of pink and gold. Ginny Apparated outside the gates of the Chudley stadium and looked up at them, too tired to appreciate their beauty.

She walked slowly up the hill toward the stadium's doors. She knew her limp was evident, but couldn't bring herself to care. If she actually made the team, they'd find out eventually.

When she reached the door, a wizard with salt-and-pepper hair and a clipboard met her at the door.

"Tryouts are closed," he said sternly.

Ginny felt her mouth grow dry. "Closed?"

"No spectators."

"Oh," she breathed, relieved. "I'm here to try out."

He looked down at her leg, with a doubtful look on his face. "You're trying out?" he repeated.

"Yes," she said, swallowing hard. In all her worrying and practicing, it had never occurred to her that she would not be allowed to have her chance with everyone else.

He looked her over slowly. The moment seemed to take forever, and she felt her insides harden with dread. Finally he shrugged and looked down at his clipboard. "Name and position?"

"Ginny Weasley. Chaser."

"Weasley?" he asked, looking at her intently. "I went to school with a Weasley."

Ginny fought the urge to roll her eyes, and nodded instead.

"Arthur Weasley," he went on. "Two years above me."

"Arthur is my dad," Ginny said politely.

"Oh, is that so?" he asked, beaming. "Well, good luck today, Miss Weasley." For a moment, it looked as though he was going to say something more, but he just handed her a slim packet of papers. "Changing rooms are down the hall on your left."

"Thank you," she said, walking past him to the changing rooms, painfully aware of the solid lump of impending doom in her stomach.

There were four other women in the locker room in various states of undress. All of them looked healthier, more athletic, and more energetic than she felt. Certainly none of them walked with a pronounced limp or had enormous multicolored scars on their legs. Likely none of them had any problems simply being admitted to the stadium. These were not the only people she would be competing with, either. There would be men trying out as well, probably more of them. And she would need to be better than all those people in order to make the team.

Ginny was halfway out of her everyday robes when it occurred to her that the judges might not even pay attention to the way she played. Their minds might have been made up already when she limped up to the gates.

"What the hell am I doing here?" she whispered, resting her forehead against the cool metal of the locker door. Her insides fluttered uncomfortably, and for a moment she felt as though she was about to be sick.

A dark-skinned witch walked past her out the door, with muscles rippling across her back and down her arms. She looked as fit and confident as Ginny was not.

Ginny wrapped her arms around her torso in a lonely embrace and reminded herself what it had felt like to sink a shot through a goal hoop past the league's top Keeper. She'd played with Bole, who was a professional Beater. And Harry Potter had drilled her on flying technique. How many of these other women could say the same?

Dressing slowly and carefully, she listened to the quiet rustling sounds of the other women dressing and getting their things together, and slowly calmed down. Regardless of the way she walked, she knew she could fly and play well. The work she'd put in and the time she'd spent had not been a waste. She would do this. Whether or not she made the team was up to the judges, but the quality of her play today was up to her, and she would not back down.

Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, she left the locker room.

-----

When she stepped out of the darkened corridors into the bright light of the pitch, she was greeted by the sight of a sky seemingly full of players. Zipping, zooming, and flipping above the pitch, tossing and batting balls of various sizes back and forth, their constant movement seemed to magnify their numbers.

Ginny walked slowly onto the field slowly and noticed the owner, Dan, standing on the sideline with his hands clasped in front of his rounded stomach, looking pleased. The older wizard who had met her at the gate stood attentively next to him. As she made her way across the open grass, she saw both men turn to look at her, their heads tilted close together. Dan's assistant said something and then pointed at his clipboard. Dan nodded solemnly and said something in reply, and the other man nodded.

The hard mass in Ginny's stomach seemed to be growing in size, and she tore her eyes away.

Directly ahead of her in the center of the field was a rack holding several racing brooms and other equipment. Next to the rack stood a familiar-looking figure with blonde hair.

When she got close enough, Ginny called out to her.

"Katie?"

She seemed to jump as she turned toward the sound of her name.

"Ginny? What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying out," Ginny answered. "Don't tell me you're here to ruin my chances." She said it jokingly, but she felt a sliver of fear shoot through her heart as she spoke.

To her relief, though, Katie just laughed. "Oh no," she said. "I'm here representing the store." She gestured to the rack of shining, top-of the line equipment. "We're an official league sponsor, so the Cannons are borrowing some stuff from the store for the tryouts. That way everyone has the same broom."

"So I get to use one of those? Brilliant."

Katie grinned and held out a broomstick. "Good luck!"

Ginny smiled back and mounted her broom slowly, as she usually did, careful not to forget herself and push off with her bad leg. Although she'd already cast the protective charm on it, she didn't want to push her luck. She rose quickly into the air, the wind whipping her hair against the sides of her face and pushing her eyelids closed.

When she opened her eyes again, the other players still dove and darted through the air, but this time she was on a level with them. She flew a circuit around the pitch, paying careful attention to the feel of the broom, accustoming herself to its acceleration speed and turning radius.

Around her, the empty stadium seemed huge. Each player's shout and each Bludger's impact echoed from the rows of bleachers, normally filled with spectators. She remembered vividly the last time she'd been there, when she and Harry had flown over those stands and onto the pitch, and she'd sunk a goal past him. Although she hadn't spoken to him in a week, since he cut off her Floo as she tried to make amends, she still felt a pang of sadness.

She tried hard not to look over the other players trying out, but her eyes kept drifting to the busy figures near her. Were they better than her? Would they take the place she was here to claim?

A shrill whistle sounded from the ground, and she turned swiftly in place. A muscular wizard in orange robes motioned broadly, and she heard his magically-amplified voice sound through the stadium.

"All those trying out, over here please." He raised his wand and shot orange sparks from it into the air.

Ginny flew towards him, surrounded by other hopeful players.

"We'll start with some basic drills," he said, in a very businesslike manner. "All players, please."

He waved his wand and long columns of blue light appeared on the pitch. Ginny's heart soared. She might have limped onto the pitch this morning, but she knew beyond any doubt that she could do this drill as well as anyone.

Sure enough, when the first players began, she saw many of the other players flew slowly through the course, stumbling and hesitating often. When it was her turn, Ginny dove right in without worry, darting easily into each glowing pillar. Her muscles hummed with energy, and her mind felt clear. She completed one circuit of the pitch, and when she pulled up into the group of prospective players at the end, she found that they were looking at her with a mixture of fear and respect.

On the ground, she saw Dan and his assistant talking. Dan was gesturing broadly with his hands, and the other man was scribbling on his clipboard. Even from this distance, she could see the flash of teeth on both of their faces as they smiled. It was her performance in this drill that had done that, that had made them smile. For the first time since she'd entered the stadium, she felt the knot of fear inside her subside a little, and her shoulders relaxed.

The burly wizard in orange sent them through the course several more times, with different variations. Each time she flew through the dancing bars of light, Ginny felt her confidence grow and her stomach lighten a little.

Eventually, the wizard waved his wand again, making the glowing pillars disappear. All the players turned to look at him and he blew his whistle. "Your attention, please," he said unnecessarily. "Beaters, over there please." He gestured vaguely toward the edge of the pitch on his left side. "Seekers, the other side. Chasers and Keepers, stay here."

About half of the wizards and several intimidating-looking witches flew off in the direction he'd indicated for the Beaters, and three rather slight players darted toward the opposite end. The dark, muscular witch Ginny had noticed in the locker room turned her broom slightly, but stayed where she was, and Ginny bit her lip.

"Who'd want to play backup for Harry Potter?" muttered a blond wizard near Ginny, and several people laughed quietly. Ginny felt another pang of sadness at the sound of Harry's name, stronger and more insistent this time. The wizard in the orange robes looked sternly at them, and a hush spread over the group.

"My name is Frank Federov," he announced. "I am the Cannons' Assistant Offensive Coordinator in charge of Chasers. I'll be overseeing your tryout today. We have a lot of spots to fill, so let's get going."

Frank divided the Chaser candidates into two groups and set them to a simple pass-and-shoot drill on either end of the pitch while he talked to the potential Keepers. Ginny moved automatically through the drill, one she'd run countless times at Hogwarts and even before. The players around her seemed equally comfortable, although once a Keeper rose into position in front of the hoop, many of the shots began to be deflected.

Ginny watched the Keeper candidates closely. None of them were close to Wood in terms of skill or finesse, and she'd sunk several goals past him the last time they'd played. When it was her turn, she approached the hoops smoothly, passing the ball between her right and left hands. She drew closer and pulled back her left arm as though she was about to shoot. She flinched, the Keeper dove to protect the closest hoop, and Ginny passed the Quaffle easily to her other hand and sunk it smoothly through the center hoop, before turning and flying back to rejoin the group of Chaser candidates.

The next Keeper hopeful was better, and she blocked Ginny's shot, but it was a close thing. Only a few Quaffles sailed past her, all on her left side. On the next go-round, Ginny approached her quickly from that side, dipping down and then flying upwards toward the hoop. The Keeper kept her eyes fixed on Ginny's and was not fooled by her initial feint to the right. Swooping close to the hoop, Ginny threw the Quaffle with all her might toward the outer edge of the left goal hoop. The girl dove, and her fingers brushed the Quaffle. It spun out of its smooth course and struck the metal edge of the hoop with a loud clang, but bounced through. As she flew back to the group, Ginny heard the Keeper swear.

Frank's whistle sounded shrilly across the pitch again, accompanied by his amplified voice. "Seekers, continue with what you're doing. Beaters, Chasers, and Keepers to me." Quickly, he indicated the first Keeper Ginny had gone up against, who she thought was the weakest, and sent him to the goalpost. Then he selected three Chasers and two Beaters and sent them up into the air as well, directing them to play a half-pitch game.

Ginny looked at the players on the pitch and then at the group assembled around her. The group on the pitch was obviously smaller, slower, and less experienced. Play continued for several minutes before Frank blew his whistle again.

"Thank you," he said loudly. "That will be all. We'll be in touch." The players flew off the pitch, looking rather dejected.

Frank selected another group of players and sent them in to repeat the exercise, and then another. The player next to Ginny flew into the game, and Ginny looked past where he'd been, meeting the eyes of the dark-skinned witch from the locker room, who nodded grimly. Ginny nodded back before looking out at the game being played before her. Although she tried to maintain the same stony expression, she felt the corners of her mouth twitch, threatening to break out in a huge smile.

Finally, after all the other players had been and gone, Frank sent Ginny and the other witch into the game, along with a wiry wizard in glasses.

Once in the game, Ginny's suspicions were confirmed. The other two Chasers were clearly better than those who had gone before. They passed easily and dodged Bludgers gracefully. And she had been sent in with them. As she swerved away from a big Beater, the smile that had been close to the surface of her face broke through, and she didn't bother to hide it. Pride and happiness bubbled up inside of her as she caught and threw, and even the loud whistle that split the air did not dampen her spirits any.

"Thank you," Frank said warmly. "We'll be in touch."

Flying away, she grinned widely at the other two Chasers. The dark-skinned witch merely nodded as she had before, but the wizard smiled back, looking as excited as Ginny felt. The late-afternoon sun glinted off his glasses, and in the midst of her happiness, an intense sense of loss shot through Ginny, amplified by the intensity of her pleasure.

She knew she had done well, and that she ought to be thrilled, but the strangeness of their faces struck Ginny like a Bludger. She felt her happiness draining away, and in its place rose an overwhelming sadness. By the time she reached the ground, she was blinking back tears.

"Great job," Katie said with a smile as she handed back her broom, but Ginny could only nod mutely and hurry away.

The locker room was one large gray and orange blur, and she had to wipe her eyes with her sleeve to see. When she finally could, she grabbed her street clothes and stuffed them quickly into her bag, not bothering to change out of her sweaty workout gear. Tears rolled across her face as she ran awkwardly to the Apparition point.

She drew her wand, and felt her breath hitch in her throat. In the next moment, the stadium disappeared and she was enveloped by nothingness. An instant later, she was standing on the front stoop of a small house in Hogsmeade.

She dropped her bag with a loud thump and stepped toward the door.

"Harry?" she called, knocking firmly. "Harry, are you there?" She knocked again. "Harry, please come out, please." It had been less than a minute, but she was already feeling panicked and desperate.

Just when she felt the fear inside her begin to spin out of control, the door opened.

"Hi," he said simply, without a trace of emotion. He held the door only partially open, so that his body blocked the room behind him.

"Hi," Ginny said back, her mind blank and empty. What on earth had she been planning to say to him?

"The tryout was today," she said. His face stayed blank.

It felt to Ginny as though something crumbled inside her.

"I did really well," she said, in a rush. "And I wanted to share it with you. That's all." She felt herself gathering speed. "That's all I ever wanted. And I didn't kiss Roger, he kissed me, not that you care." By now, tears were rolling down her face. "I worked really hard and it was all because of you, that I even went today at all, and I really wished you were there, and... and... and..."

She gave a great gasping sob and sniffled. A tear fell from her cheek and landed on her hand with a splash.

"I'll go now," she said quietly, and leaned to pick up her bag.

"Wait." His voice sounded husky and gravelly.

Standing uncertainly, she left her bag where it was and watched him walk across the small porch towards her.

"Ginny, I--" he said, and then stopped. He didn't say anything else then, but his face looked as though he were searching for words. Another tear slid across her cheek.

"Here, now, don't cry," he said. He extended one arm toward her and brushed his fingertips across her damp face, wiping away the tears.

Lips followed fingers, and soon he was dropping soft kisses all over her cheeks.

"I wish," he whispered between kisses, "I wish I was there too."

When he reached her mouth, she kissed him back hard, wrapping her arms around him as if she would never let him go. She leaned into the kiss, pouring herself into him, giving him everything she could. He held her tightly, and she felt the rest of the world disappear as it had when they Apparated together.

Breaking the kiss, he pressed his cheek to hers and spoke softly into her ear. "I will be," he said. "From now on, I will be there."