Fallen

I float away. It makes me wonder, do you hear me? Can you feel my desperate call?

I didn't think so.

You would reply, you would chide, you would say everything that I wanted to think and feel.

You would stop the morbid thoughts from entering my mind.

I see funerals whenever I think of you. I see large wreaths of all the flowers you hated, the ostentatious coffins you would laugh and mock, the long procession of people keeping candlelight vigils. And it's all for you. Every single tear that would be shed, every single tender word spoken would be owned by you. Even in death, you would own all those things that were never denied to you in life. There would be such an outpouring of grief that many would have thought it was raining on the day of your funeral, even though the sun would be streaming down with such intensity that you would be dazzled by the glossiness of your tombstone. A national day of mourning would be held in your honour, and all that knew you would cover their bodies with garments of the black void that you hate.

I don't like the dark. I could never see your face.

Or I could be dreaming again.

*~*

"You could be making it up," Ron said critically as he examined Harry's dishevelled figure. "For all I know, you've probably snuck out the back way and had it off with Peta Willis."

"In case you haven't noticed, Hufflepuffs aren't very fond of adventurous fondling in the dark," Harry retorted. "Remember?"

Ron's face turned the particular shade of red that Harry could only call 'Ron's Rouge'. "That was different," he said huffily. "I didn't mean to rub up against Sarah Peterson on the way back from that night Astronomy class! She was- I was- we- um- oy!" Ron yelled after Harry as he made his way up to the Gryffindor dorms.

"Remind me never to let you lie for me," Harry called back to him as he bounded up the stairs with a sudden burst of energy, and closing the door carefully behind him, completely muffling Ron's outraged reply.

Harry sighed and flopped onto his bed, head facedown in a pillow. He lay completely immobile for a good couple of minutes, and was thankful for the fact that everyone was still too completely engrossed in their homework to get to sleep just yet. The window was open and the comforting coolness which Harry had first encountered now becoming a numbing cold.

"Oh stuff this," Harry said irritably, but since his head was in a pillow, it sounded more like "Nmmhnhmn."

Harry got up and slammed the window shut. He repeated his line again- once more, with feeling- as he plopped back onto his bed.

"Stuff this."

*~*

About five hours earlier, it was just after dinner.

And everyone in the Slytherin dorm knew that it was just after dinner that Draco Malfoy liked to disappear. That is, retreat to his dorm and sulk. No one knew why, no one questioned it. All well-bred Slytherin families knew to respect the habits of the feared Malfoy family, and they simply adapted and added it to their timetabled lives.

The only thing is, Draco didn't sulk. It was true that he returned to his dorm and that he didn't like to be disturbed, but only because he would be angry to find out that someone had discovered he wasn't actually in his dorm the whole time.

Draco had a peculiar habit of finding the most bizarre places to stay in- for either a couple of minutes or a couple of hours, depending on his mood. Last night he had chosen the back of one of the gargoyles on the Astronomy Tower. The night before that he had retreated to a dusty room near Dumbledore's office, which could only be accessed by a couple of surly portraits. The night before that, he was lying on his back on the plush carpeted floors near the Ravenclaw dorms.

It didn't matter where it was, as long as he never got caught. And Draco was very, very good at not getting caught.

Tonight he had wandered, as usual, a calm eye surveying any possible places. He didn't know why he did this. All he knew was that he wanted to know all of Hogwarts. He didn't even know why he had made that decision, back in first year. But he had kept his promise, and sought out a new place every night.

Tonight would be no different.

*~*

I was just as surprised as you were. Maybe even more so.

I don't remember nights to be as cold as this.

You didn't have to say anything, but you did anyway. Something cold, callous and calculated. I replied with the same temperament.

You were cautious, and you had a right to be. While you were probably thinking of Life, the Universe, Everything, I was thinking about how easy it would be to fall.

I love flying, but there's something much more thrilling about falling. You feel that too, I know you do. How high you had to be before you could lose consciousness. How long it took. How many days it took for you to wake up.

I'm too scared to fall. That's why I fly.

But I bet you'd say it differently.

Maybe that's why we work so well together, though you'd never admit it.

*~*

It was Ravenclaw tonight.

That's what Harry had decided, as he snuck out of the Gryffindor dorms in his Invisibility Cloak. It was Ravenclaw's turn to train tonight. Harry didn't think the new Seeker could do as well as Cho, but she did, and for once Harry had started to think Ravenclaw might actually have a chance at winning the Quidditch Cup this year.

And since he was so bored these days, he thought it would be a good idea to watch the competition. Even though it did have a vaguely sneaky Slytherin feel about it. But as far as Quidditch was involved, Harry would be more than happy to resort to such underhanded tactics. And it was nearing the business end of the season.

"There's someone hanging round the Quidditch fields," Harry heard one Ravenclaw say to another. "I keep seeing this shadow skulking about."

"Slytherin, no doubt," snorted the other Ravenclaw. "At least practice is wrapping up in ten minutes. Maybe we should get them to fly around aimlessly or something. That'll really set off the Slytherin team."

"Haven't got time," was the sharp reply. "Match is a week away, and Gryffindor have the pitch tomorrow. We'll just have to hope we can bludgeon the bugger whenever we meet up with him."

"Or just bludgeon every member of the Slytherin team just to be sure!" chortled the other Ravenclaw.

Harry slunk away from the gossiping Ravenclaws and held onto his Cloak tightly as he made his way back into the castle. Harry didn't like to admit it, but the lights that flickered on either side of the hallways often set him hurtling through them as fast as he could. Light always played with the shadows in his mind, and made him feel uneasy.

And although he had no idea why, it suddenly gave him an urge to go to the library.

*~*

Draco hummed softly to himself as he tried to step onto the ledge. It was extremely wide and would have proved more than enough of an adventure on any other night, but not tonight. Tonight he would go further. The ledge went all the way around the Astronomy Tower, and was of fairly close distance to the roof of the main building.

Which was why he decided to jump.

The cool air enveloped him as he let go, and landed safely on the roof. He stood up slowly and walked around, enjoying the feel of the tiles against the thin soles of his shoes. He hardly made a sound as he passed over the top of what he would have thought to be the Great Hall, and smiled sardonically as he sat down sometime later, savouring the view of all of Hogsmeade in the fading sunlight.

It was then that he began to drift off, just like he usually did. Except it was a lot sooner than usual. And he was dizzy and weak.

First, he would sit or lie there, feeling satisfied at getting so far. Then he would close his eyes, for what he thought would only be a couple of seconds, but would turn out to be much longer. When he usually opened his eyes, he found himself to be somewhere else.

Then the real fun would begin.

*~*

There was nothing

But dark blue sky and you

Followed me when I thought you wouldn't

And you believed me when I had nothing

For you to believe in and you

Trusted me.

There was nothing but dark blue sky and you, and

You trusted me.

*~*

Draco yawned and sat up, disorientated and drowsy, as he usually was in the morning. Except that he wasn't in bed. Except that it was completely dark. Except that he usually didn't have the face of Harry Potter glaring right back at him.

Draco knew better than to make the first comment, especially when his mind wasn't working as well as it usually did. But he did anyway. "If you're done staring at me, Potter, I'd like to get up now. The floor's giving me a headache."

No wit, bare elements of sarcasm, and simple truth. The worst combination of all.

And yet Potter didn't attack, didn't move in on the drowsy predator and take him for all he was worth. Instead, he did something that Draco knew he had never done in all their six years at school together.

He helped him up.

Draco would have shied away from the help in normal circumstances. But in normal circumstances, he wouldn't be bleeding profusely from his right arm and have his body give irrepressible jolts once every couple of seconds. If he had looked down, he would have noticed that his leg would have an ugly purple bruise on it, where his pants leg was ripped away.

Poor Draco, his mother always said. You couldn't help it that you bruised easily.

Draco stood up shakily and tried not to hobble. He had no idea where he was, but he wasn't going to give Potter the satisfaction of knowing he was in a lot of pain. He was in a field somewhere, amongst long grasses that brushed against his skin leaving pale slivers of dew. And if his blurred vision was correct, he was now walking in the direction where the school presumably stood.

One thing that didn't strike him as curious until later on was the fact that Potter was actually at the field in the first place.

*~*

Harry had entered the library quietly, and noted a couple of students hunched over their textbooks in the dimmed light. He pounced on one of them from behind.

"Harry!" Hermione whispered furiously. "You scared me. What are you doing here, and with the cloak on?" She hurriedly cleared a seat for him to sit in, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Wondering when you were going to take a break," Harry said idly as he watched her hollowed face, darkened circles around her eyes.

"Oh, I forgot I was meant to help you with your History of Magic essay! Just let me clear up here first, and-"

"Hermione, calm down!" Harry laughed. "I didn't come because of that."

"Then why did you come?"

Harry considered her question. In fact, he considered it for so long that Hermione repeated her question again.

"You know..." Harry said thoughtfully. "I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me."

Hermione looked at him as if he had truly turned nuts. "Look, are you- are you stressed or something? Because I know something you could take-"

"No, I'm not stressed," Harry said. "What's there to be stressed about when you don't have homework?"

"But what about your History of Magic essay, your Potions assignment, your Transfiguration exp-"

"Yeah, but that can wait. They're not due till next week."

Hermione shook her head disapprovingly at him. "NEWTS results don't just Apparate in thin air, you know. Aren't you the least bit worried?"

He wasn't. But somehow, Harry doubted it was the right answer to give Hermione. "As long as I get my work done on time," he said carefully.

Hermione seemed satisfied with the answer. "Well, at least you're starting to take your deadlines a little more seriously. I just wish Ron could do the same."

Harry suddenly felt inspired. "Why don't you rest for a bit, Herm, and come with me? I've got something to show you."

Hermione started to protest, but Harry shoved her into the Invisibility Cloak and muffled her complaints. "You're coming out for some fresh air."

But Hermione was having none of it. "No," she whispered furiously at him. "Unlike some people, I have work to do." She sat back down at her desk resolutely. "And besides, the library's closing soon, and I haven't gotten half of what I wanted to get finished actually finished."

"Suit yourself," Harry said, and decided to head out and grab some fresh air for himself, completely forgetting that he was running the risk of running into some extremely pissed off Ravenclaws.

What he wasn't counting on was a stray Malfoy falling from the sky.

*~*

Broken body, broken mind.

Uttering those words, you would carry the body with an impersonal air, giving yourself excuses as you placed one step over another, your feet sinking into the soft muddy fields.

You were actually surprised the body was as light as it was- it seemed impossible for so much of a persona to actually weigh so little. If you wanted to you could probably float it on the air, without the aid of a Weightlessness Charm.

But you preferred to carry the body, feeling the firm steps as you clawed your way through the long branches, the long grasses and weeds that snaked their way over your arms and legs.

Your first instinct was to carry it as far away as you could, because you knew that you could not bring yourself to see something so grotesquely arranged on the floor. The further away you took it, the better you would feel. After all, it was only a body and not a very strong body at that; and sometimes you would be allowed to do unheroic things, weren't you?

And it wasn't as if the body couldn't find its own way back anyhow.

But even now, as you mull over your strange thinking, you knew that something more encouraged you to bring the body as far as you did.

There had to be something more.

*~*

Draco hadn't gone very far when he knew he could go no further, and tripped clumsily over a clump of earth. He felt for his wand- which was something he knew he should have done earlier- so that he could perform some simple healing spells. His shaking fingers held onto his wand, but he couldn't hold onto his wand properly, and it slipped from his grasp.

Another hand picked up the wand.

"Go away!" Draco snapped, lying twisted on the muddy clods.

Harry took his wand and put it inside his robes. "No."

"Give my wand back!" Draco snarled, fingering the stickiness of his arms. His head whirled.

"Try and catch me," Harry said, and ran towards the castle.

Draco, in his infinite rage and pride, could do nothing but watch.

*~*

I don't know how he did it, but later that night as I was making yet another aimless trip to the library to convince Hermione to come back already, I felt something cold grasp my arm. I was about to shout out, when the arm shot out and kneed me sharply in crotch.

"Shit!" I swore, and took an unexpected fall on the stone floors. And there he was, bloody smug Malfoy, wearing a bloody gash on his cheek and a makeshift tourniquet on his arm as a badge of honour.

"What the hell-" I managed to gasp out, before he pounced on me again, making me lose my glasses. And this time, I really let it roll. I knew the guy was hurt pretty badly, but anyone who could make the trip back to the castle could stand to have a beating. And plus, I doubt I really need to justify myself in having a go at Malfoy at anytime.

We were aimless- rolling around, punching stomachs, heads, chests. I'm pretty sure one of us broke our noses, if nothing else. After I gave him a pretty nasty punch on the upper jaw, we both just stopped and stared at each other, both of us out of breath and gasping for air.

There was so much blood. I think it was more his than mine, but it was everywhere, and I could barely recognise him under all the muck. Well, that and the fact I was practically blind. He took the moment, being the typical Slytherin, and walked off. I was too dazed to notice anything amiss (as I felt for my glasses on the floor, cursing him under my breath) until I walked up the stairs to Gryffindor, my hand idly travelling into the pocket of my grimy robes.

It was then that I realised the slimy git had taken both his wand and mine.

*~*

You were grinning at me

Through all the mud and blood

And I thought you'd had enough

But I was wrong and

You had to go back

And use my game for

Purposes I'd rather not know.

But I think I do.

*~*

Harry sighed once again from his position on his bed. He decided to stand up, then decided the decision took too much effort.

"Oy Harry! You up here?" Neville poked his head round the door to see a glum- looking Harry with a nasty looking bruise on his cheek.

"Just checkin'," Neville said cheerfully, and closed the door again.

Harry was lying facedown once more on his bed, and the comforting warmth was now becoming an overbearing stuffiness. "Nmnmnfmss," he moaned, even more annoyed that he didn't have a wand at his disposal, and stormed off his bed to fling open the window.

"Stuff this," he said clearly, and, just for the hell of it, threw Ron's socks out the window. Now he wouldn't have to worry about the smell come morning.

Scowling, Harry flopped once more back onto his bed, and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

*~*

I'm still waiting, you know. Sometimes I thought you'd know better.

The vastness of the bed never seemed as inviting without you in it. You'd breathe slowly, eyelids fluttering, and I often imagined you were dreaming about me. I'd place my shaking hand upon your chest because I always thought you were taking your last breath and wonder why you always slept with a smile.

Sometimes you woke, sometimes you didn't. When you were awake, you would always ask why I was looking at you like that and I always replied that I never sleep. You'd laugh and we'd speak no more once you grazed my mouth with a kiss. When you don't wake, I would hope you'd stay awake with me, it always took me a long time to fall asleep with you next to me and maybe then I wouldn't have such strange thoughts. And then I'd leave the bed and you'd always ask why I never stayed.

But I did stay, I always stayed when you awoke I wanted to say. But I never did.

I didn't care so much after a while.

But you never knew that.