Silent Chaos

Chapter 4 - Completeness

If I should die this very moment,

I wouldn't fear...

For I've never known completeness,

Like being here.

Wrapped in the warmth of you...

Loving every breath of you.

Still my heart this moment,

Or it might burst...

The kiss lasted for what seemed like just a few moments - and yet, like all of Eternity, all of Forever. When their lips finally pulled away, Harry opened his eyes tentatively, only to be caught in the mesmerizing gaze of the grey eyes opposite him, watching him. He smiled in a shy way, dipping his eyes to the side, then looking at Draco again. His breath was rather rapid, his heart beating quite fast, yet his mind did not seem to care, for it was floating in unbelievable bliss, in unbelievable happiness. The tension that had built up within him over the last day had vanished, replaced with a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. Everything seemed well again, everything seemed perfect and good and warm and...and right.

Draco was looking at him with soft eyes and a small smile playing over his lips. He seemed relieved, he seemed happy...and he seemed paler than usual, and quite weak as he leaned against Harry as if in need of support. Harry, of course, could not begrudge him any support and held him up, held him close to himself, to his body. This was...exactly what he had wanted to do before. This was perfect, this was good. He felt as he never had before, though he did not wish to think about it, to rationalize it. All that he wanted was to relax and enjoy this sensation until his mind reminded him of the fact that the world wouldn't stop turning just because Harry Potter was happy and got what he wanted.

"Do you want to sit down?" he asked after he cleared his throat, looking with worry at Draco and receiving a nod in assent. Helping him to sit in a chair at the kitchen table, Harry watched him for a few moments, his eyes meeting Draco's and staying fixated upon those silvery depths. He did not know what to do...it was easier when they hadn't...weren't...didn't...What? Exactly what had just happened? Sinking down into a chair opposite Draco, he watched that pale visage still and felt his brow furrowing in confusion. Apparently, his mind had started ticking again and was starting to sneer at his action and at what had happened. He did not quite understand it - but he knew full well that it threw everything into a new light, that it made everything a hundred times more confusing, a thousand times more difficult. Relationships...were never his forte. He would have rather faced another Voldemort than having to face his feelings now.

"Po- Harry..." That sultry voice snapped him out of his reverie and Harry blinked, then smiled a bit. Draco had called him 'Harry'...twice. It was pleasant...so pleasant.

"Yes?" he murmured in reply, looking down at the table and noticing his hand - his hand that was resting within Draco's, that had its fingers entwined with those long, scholarly digits. He hadn't noticed...but it was pleasant, it was nice. It was a touch that seemed natural, that seemed instinctive. Perhaps it had always been that way, perhaps he had simply forced himself to keep a distance from Draco, to keep a distance and to loathe every touch - for deep down, he had always enjoyed that touch and craved for more of that forbidden fruit. But then, perhaps he was going crazy and this was all an insane hallucination. Maybe something had been wrong with his tequila as well...

"Please don't hit me too hard after you realize what just happened." A touch of amusement, a touch of bitterness...a touch of...fear? Perhaps there was fear, but Harry could not tell for certain, though those grey eyes betrayed caution.

"As long as you don't hit me too hard," he replied and tried to smile in his most comforting manner. He was not good at this...not good at this at all. He had never had any lasting, close relationships that required for him to work, to figure things out. Harry was...well, lost. He was lost and confused.

The fingers that were entwined with his tightened reassuringly. "I'd never..."

"And neither would I - I couldn't...I'd much rather kiss you again." He knew he was blushing when he said that, he knew that he could not meet Draco's eyes...but when a bent finger touched his chin and lifted it slightly, his eyes flew to those grey ones instantly and he was once again hypnotised. He felt himself lean forward as if automatically...he felt himself tilt his head, he felt himself being kissed...kissing in return...closing his eyes, letting himself be carried away with the kiss, on the kiss - as if all of life revolved around that kiss. It was gentle, it was soothing...a cool rain after the fire that had ravaged their lips with their first touch, their first kiss.

Their first kiss. Harry and Draco's first kiss. It started to sink into him slowly, though it was hard to understand. He could not quite understand it yet. He did not want to. He did not want to bother to understand. Why, why, why was his mind trying to understand? Couldn't he just let himself do this, couldn't he just feel how natural this was and enjoy it and not agonize about it? Why did he have to agonize about everything, to rationalize everything that happened in his life?

Their lips parted and they both smiled a little bit at each other, then glanced away to opposite directions. What now? What now?

* * *

Draco's mind was reeling from shock still. He had kissed Harry...he had kissed Harry Potter. And he had liked it. Immensely. Utterly. He wanted to do it again, and when he did, he was relieved that he still liked it just as much - if not more. Sitting there, he glanced to the entrance to the kitchen, wondering what forces had made him go up to it and then step over it...and embrace Harry as he did. He didn't know what they were, but he knew that they had brought release to all that tension within him. He knew that they had eased his heart and relieved all of his worries, his fears. Especially when he had kissed Harry again, especially when he had been invited to kiss him again.

"So..." he murmured and tried to find a nice, innocent topic to talk about.

"Uh...tea?" The suggestion was perhaps a little bit pathetic, but it stopped him from trying to find something neutral to speak of. He feared that there wouldn't be anything neutral to talk about - but then, he had gotten himself into this...stepped from the proverbial pan into the blazing fire. Nodding with a faint smile, he glanced to Harry and noticed those green eyes swirling with confusion as well. Well, at least he wasn't alone, though he was rather sorry to put Harry through this. He never wanted to put Harry through any misery...he never really wanted to. He had, though, he had...but it was always to cover up his pain at being rejected as a friend.

Harry pushed a mug towards him and he nodded a little bit. "Thank you," he whispered and tried to lift his hand to pick the mug up, then blinked. Looking down, he saw his hand entwined with Harry's and couldn't help but blush. He enjoyed that, the contact...he did not...he did not want to break it. Picking the mug up with his other hand, he sipped at the warm tea and closed his eyes, feeling another spell of dizziness wash over him. Swaying slightly, he placed the mug down and leaned back in his chair. The gaze upon him was worried, he knew that...he could feel it. Giving a smile in reassurance, he looked up at the man across from him and felt his smile widen. Perhaps...perhaps this wouldn't be too hard afterall.

"Do you want me to drive you home soon?" Harry inquired, though he looked and sounded very concerned. "I was going to make you some soup and drive you home when you were feeling better...I...don't want you to feel worse..."

"Some soup would be good, though I'm feeling better already," he replied, not really wanting to touch on the question of when he was going to go home. He did not want to go home...he did not want to leave Harry so soon. But then, it would give them some breathing space...some time to figure all of this out, to find out whether they really felt that way or whether it was just a...one day thing.

Just a one day thing...no...no, he did not want to think about that. He felt - no, he knew that it wasn't a one day thing for him. He knew well enough that it was much, much more than that. Of course, he did not want to delve too deeply in what it fully was right now, but he would, he would soon enough. Harry smiled at him almost in relief and broke the contact of their hands reluctantly - or so Draco thought. It looked and felt quite reluctant. Standing, he picked up his wand and started taking ingredients out of the fridge and a pot out of a cupboard. He moved gracefully and easily, Draco noticed, watching that figure with half-closed eyes. There was still that flow of movements that came from Quidditch. There was still that ethereal way that Harry floated, his movements beautifully efficient - not one action wasted, not one turn or twist of that beautiful body useless. Draco had envied him when they had flown against each other. He had envied that grace, that economic way of moving, of flying...of catching the snitch. Draco was always more grandiose, more showy when he was on the broom. Smiling quietly, he looked away to the window and watched the clouds for a while, remembering those Quidditch games, that exhilaration that he always felt when flying against Harry. And suddenly, an idea popped into his head. Perhaps a ludicrous idea, but an idea nonetheless...an idea that would let him see Harry again, and hopefully soon.

"Harry?" Hopeful.

"Mmm?" Content, curious.

"Come flying with me sometime." Daring, brave.

"Flying?" Confusion, a pause. "I...I'd love to."

Not expecting that, Draco turned his head and looked at Harry, only to find the man smiling at him in what seemed like a relieved manner. "You would?"

"Of course...I..." Harry blushed and turned back to the food, cutting up peeled potatoes while the water in the pot was starting to boil. "I've always enjoyed flying against you. You...were an excellent flyer."

Draco was stunned. He had never thought that Harry enjoyed flying with him - well, against him. Smiling softly, he nodded a little bit and sipped at his tea again. "Thank you. You were, too...it was...a pleasure and privilege to fly against you. I've missed it since we finished Hogwarts."

Once the chicken breast was in the water and the potatoes were put in a bowl of chilled water to wait their turn to be added to the soup, Harry sat down once again and smiled quietly to Draco. "I've missed it, too. I'm sorry we weren't on the best of terms most of the time, then...but, it was always nice."

Smiling to Harry, he nodded quietly at the words and looked into his mug, then let out a sigh and furrowed his brow. Dancing around the issue was all fine and dandy, but it would get them nowhere, he knew that. He felt his thoughts, his feelings nagging at him to talk about what really was on his mind, what really was important at the moment. Flying was not. Flying was far, far removed from what they really should be talking about.

"What is it?" He had noticed...Harry had noticed the frown, the irritated manner that Draco knew he was showing.

Looking up at Harry again, he grimaced slightly, then sighed as a sudden wave of frustration washed over him. "What are we going to do?"

Harry's smile faded and he pressed his lips together as he tended to do when thinking - Draco knew, he used to watch him in Potions. "I don't know. I don't know. What can we do? Mal-" he sighed, "Draco...I like you. I don't know how it happened, when it happened...but I like you. A lot." He could hear how the words were coming painfully to Harry, but he did not interrupt even though his heart sped up at the words and he felt a pleasant numbness come to his skin. "I...I want for us to have something. I don't want to...to throw this away, I don't want to ignore this anymore...I just...don't know what to do. I...don't know how to act, what to say..." Harry sighed and frowned, looking away and crossing his arms on the tabletop.

Draco bit his lower lip in thought and glanced to the floor for a few moments, pondering those words. Harry liked him...he really liked him...It was a pleasant, happy, hoped-for shock. It was a good feeling, a good sensation. But what next? He liked Harry, too...of course he liked Harry. He wouldn't have mooned over him before if he didn't, afterall. So what next? Smiling wryly, he sighed. Well, might as well ask another silly thing - today was a day of daring, he decided.

"Go out with me, then?"

"What?" Harry was obviously shocked and Draco couldn't help but flash a grin. He loved surprising people.

"Go out with me. On a date. Next weekend."

"Next...?" the word didn't really matter, for Harry seemed to be thinking it over - or just staring blankly at Draco. "Sure...I...yes...I'd love to." A beautifully angelic smile bloomed upon his face and his eyes danced, the corners crinkling slightly with that grin.

"Great," Draco grinned and nodded, then sighed and rubbed at his stomach. "Next weekend it will be, then. I'll pick you up at six on Saturday. We can go to a ritzy place I know of in Diagon Alley. It's a recent addition, and it's really, really nice. I think you'll like it there - the food is great, the service is wonderful, the atmosphere is quite private." And I'm babbling like a fool.

Harry's smile grew and he almost giggled, nodding and gazing at Draco in that wonderful way that made him feel warm all over - like warm honey was running through his veins instead of blood. So things would be all right...so things really, really would be all right now. He would never have thought...he would never have imagined, but things would be all right. He was sitting with Harry, at Harry's table...and the Golden Boy was cooking for him and chatting to him, agreeing to go on a date with him. Life was turning out oddly, but wonderfully, and Draco Malfoy could never have wished to be anywhere else but there at that moment...at that beautiful, wonderfully odd moment.

~ End ~