Sirius Becomes Boring

"Tired?" Sirius asked, propping his head up on the pillow to look at his boyfriend. "You look like shit."

Remus was standing next to the bed in his boxer shorts, his shoulders hunched in exhaustion. "You know I am," he muttered. There had been a full moon the night before, and it generally took him a couple days to recover. He crawled into bed, pulled the covers over himself, and rolled over, his back to Sirius.

Sirius ran his finger down a fresh wound on his lover's back. A healing spell had lessened the severity of the cut, but the skin hadn't healed over properly yet. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"For what?" Remus murmured.

"For this," Sirius replied.

Remus buried his face in the pillow. "No problem."

Sirius kissed the cut gently. "I should be more careful," he said. "Of course, on the plus side, it makes you look like you've been having wild sex." He chuckled.

"I have been," Remus replied. Sirius grinned and rolled onto his back.

The no longer full moon cast an eerie blue light across the bedroom ceiling. Sirius stared at it, lost in thought for a few minutes, and then he glanced back at Remus, wondering if he'd fallen asleep. He'd been with him long enough to read him--when he lay with his back to him, it was his way of saying he'd rather sleep than talk--or fuck, rather, as that was usually the only other thing they did in bed. Why do we always have the worst timing? he wondered, grimacing. When I want to talk, he wants to sleep. When I want to fuck, he wants to...well, sometimes he wants to do that, OK, but... "You asleep?" he asked.

"Mmm," came the reply.

"Was that a yes or a no?"

"Mmm."

"That's not a word."

"Mmm."

Sirius stared at Remus's wounded back and frowned. "I don't speak Mmm," he muttered. "And clearly the answer is no if you're responding at all. So why you can't just say 'no' is a mystery to me."

Remus rolled over suddenly, his eyes wide open. "Someone's in a mood tonight."

Sirius looked at him for a moment and then threw back the covers and got out of bed. "Go to sleep," he muttered. He walked out of the bedroom, into the den, and out onto the balcony of their shared one-bedroom flat.

It was a warm night--a rare thing--and Sirius was glad for that as he leaned on the railing and lit a cigarette. He looked up at the night sky, at the flats opposite, and down at the night owls in the street below.

He heard a sound behind him. "Merlin, Sirius. You could put some trousers on! Or a robe?" Remus had put on a ratty old bathrobe to come outside.

Sirius shrugged, taking a drag off his cigarette. "It's not like I'm naked, Remus," he said, glancing down at his Gryffindor shorts and white undershirt.

Remus came outside and sat down on one of the little folding chairs they kept on the balcony for those rare times they felt like a breath of fresh air. "So what's wrong?" he asked, yawning.

"I don't know," Sirius replied. "Go back to bed. I'll be in in a minute. I just need to clear my head."

Remus was silent for a minute, looking at his hands, and then he glanced up again. "Is it me? Have I done something?" he asked. "Or is it...us?"

Sirius flicked the ashes off the tip of his cigarette absentmindedly. "It's not you. Or us. It's...well, it's James and Lily."

"James and Lily?" Remus replied, surprised. "What's bothering you about them?"

"Nothing's bothering me about them. It's just that...they're getting married."

"No shit," Remus replied. He picked up the pack of cigarettes and took one for himself.

Sirius noticed this and frowned. "I thought you didn't smoke anymore," he commented.

"That's funny. I was going to say the same thing to you."

"Touché."

"So...James and Lily? They're getting married, and it doesn't bother you. Continue," Remus said.

"It's just that I can't believe it, I guess. I know they've been together for a while, and they're in love, so it's not...it's not exactly a shock. But...James is my best friend, you know? And I just...I don't know. It feels weird to think he's getting married, that we're growing up."

"It's life, Pads. I know it sucks, but it's not that big a deal."

Sirius sat down in the other folding chair with a sigh. "It's not about becoming an adult. It's not about getting a job. It's about becoming boring, Remus."

"You're not boring! I mean, you're still pulling pranks, even at work. You're still a drinker and a cusser and a fucker. Hell, you don't even look any older. You haven't changed one bit."

"I have."

"How?"

Sirius looked away. "Let's talk about this in the morning, Moony. You're tired. I'm tired."

"Well, I'm awake now. May as well get it over with," Remus remarked. "So tell me, how have you changed? Because I don't see it."

Sirius lit another cigarette. "We've been dating for...seven years?"

"Yes, I think so."

"And I think it's gone well, hasn't it?" Sirius asked.

Remus smiled. "Yes."

"Well see, the other day, I was thinking...about James and Lily, you know, getting married. They've had a good relationship, they love each other, and they're joining that horde of dull married couples with boring lives. And I chuckled, you know, as I thought about it, and then...then I thought it didn't sound so bad."

"Getting married, you mean?"

"Well, yes."

Remus's eyes widened. "Are you...are you proposing?" he asked, chuckling.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed, a horrified look crossing his face. He looked at Remus and smirked. "I mean, not that it...not that I don't...you know. But see, I...I..." He broke off and looked down. And almost inaudibly, he mumbled, "I love you."

"What was that?"

"IloveyouRemus."

Remus dropped his cigarette on the ground, his jaw wide open. Then his cheeks turned pink. "You...you've never said that before! Do you really mean it?"

Sirius turned away and pretended to examine a smudge on the glass of the balcony door. "Yeah."

Remus got up from his seat and moved over to Sirius, throwing his arms around him. "I've been waiting a long time to hear you say that," he said, nuzzling Sirius's neck.

"I know."

"So why has it taken so long?" Remus murmured, kissing Sirius on the ear.

Sirius shrugged. "Because I couldn't identify it for a long time. And when I finally did, it just seemed so...dorky. I don't want to be romantic and cute, Moony. I don't want to settle down and have ten kids and become...boring."

"Well, I don't think we'll be having ten kids any time soon," Remus pointed out. "And I don't think you have to become boring just because you love someone."

"But every person I've ever known who got married became boring," said Sirius. "James has actually been interested in which china pattern they pick out, Remus. And it was only two months ago that we both got drunk and enchanted our boxer shorts. I don't want to end up like that. I don't want to reach a point where I care about china patterns, Remus."

Remus smiled. "China patterns? Sirius, we don't need to worry about that. Remember, we can't get married."

Sirius frowned. "Yeah, that's the other thing," he muttered.