Draw the Veil

XV. Afterword

I have not thought of our time in school in months. I had consciously pushed it aside, actually. Those memories always make me sadder when I think what happened years later; only 6 months ago, in fact.

Sirius Black and I got a flat together in the "gay" wizarding neighbourhood of London after school ended, and we both ended up working as Aurors for the Ministry of Magic. Our relationship progressed well; there was not a day when we did not kiss each other hello in the morning and goodnight in the evening. We virtually never spent a night apart; I did not think I could live without the feel of his arms around me as I slept.

On Halloween 1981, James and Lily were murdered by Lord Voldemort, a man who brought darkness and death on the wizarding world, a man responsible for the deaths of hundreds of wizards and muggles. In my mind and in my dreams, I can still see James prancing around as a stag, running through the Forbidden Forest. I can still see him in his snazzy tuxedo the day he married Lily. I can still see her beaming face as she held their infant son, Harry, for the first time. Little Harry...On the night his parents died, he brought down the Dark Lord_and he was just a baby at the time. The only damage he received was a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. I am still not sure how he survived the attack.

Sirius was sent to Azkaban Prison for killing Peter and several muggles after betraying James and Lily. He was innocent, of course. Peter was the one who had betrayed my friends. He faked his own death to frame Sirius and immediately changed into his animagus form; he then lived with the Weasley family as a rat. I suppose it must have been hard for him to live so long in that state, but I feel little sympathy for him.

Sirius remained in prison until his escape 12 years later. But there were times I thought Sirius was actually guilty of the crimes he was sentenced to prison for, thoughts I still feel guilty for.

In all the time I knew Sirius, he never once spoke of his family with anything but distaste and hatred. He never once expressed the feelings he kept bottled up inside.

Remus and Sirius, Moony and Padfoot, a werewolf and a dog...and then...then there was 'the incident.' I still cannot call it what it is. I still cannot say the words.

The rainbow-coloured elephant has thankfully been gone for many years now (I am completely out). The white elephant is still huddled in one corner under its blanket. And I am looking around the room as I write this, my hand aching from holding the quill for so long, and find that this little flat has gained a new resident_a new elephant, right there between the settee and the magical stereo, a huge black one.

I just cannot deal with him.