It Never Hurts to Try

It Never Hurts to Try

"You stupid, thoughtless, git!" the youngest marauder berated at himself as he stumbled gracelessly toward the refuge of his dorm room. Reaching the door to his sanctuary, Peter slipped into the currently abandoned room and let the door shut softly behind him. He'd left James and Sirius in the common room with the excuse that he had to review his notes. Certainly a believable enough lie. But if he let the door slam shut, he'd let on what a bad sport he was being about the teasing. It had hurt though, Sirius's taunting about Peter's lack of luck when it came to dating. The short blonde boy felt a stinging in his eyes as he made his way toward his unmade bed.

"Stop that," he ordered, scrubbing his burning eyes furiously with the sleeve of his black robe. "Sirius didn't mean anything by it. You took the bait, like always, and if you cry...."

Peter could tell his eyes were ignoring him. He felt the salty tears threatening to spill past his lids and make themselves visible on his cheeks.

"Crybaby," he snarled at himself. "You'll go and make yourself look more foolish. Although considering your oh so stunning retort to what was just harmless teasing on Sirius's part...."

A knot had worked its way into Peter's throat. In his head, he saw the scene of just minutes ago with the clarity that hindsight provides.

***

Sirius jumped boisterously onto the wine red couch, throwing his arm around James's shoulder and jostling Remus's carefully arranged notes.

"Lets go on a group date!" he announced.

James snorted playfully. "Just us? Don't you need girls for that, Sirius?"

"Yes, and we will have girls," Sirius responded, his dark eyes bright with the promise of yet another interesting night. "You have Lily, I'll take, ohh, lets see, Amy would be fun, Remus can take that Ravenclaw girl that keeps giving him eyes and . . .." Sirius broke off and looked over at the small, chubby boy who sat curled in the armchair across from the couch. "Err, Peter, you can take...."

"'S okay, Padfoot," Peter mumbled. "You don't need to find a girl for me."

Sirius raised one black eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. "Oh, c'mon, Wormtail. Girls aren't that scary. They don't all say 'no', you know. Especially if I ask. I--ow!" The talkative Gryffindor rubbed his head and turned to glare at the offender. "What'd you hit me for, Remus?"

The werewolf shook his head. "Think before you speak, Sirius."

Remus's hazel eyes then flickered over to Peter, who was avoiding everyone's eyes, suddenly extremely interested in the hem of his robe.

The sound of Sirius exhaling loudly broke Remus's concentration. "Hey, I don't mean anything by it. It's just poor little Peter here." At that, he hopped off the couch and clapped Peter on the shoulder. "He just needs a little help. With the benefit of James's and my superior experience--stop laughing, Prongs!--with our help, we can get him hooked up in no time!"

Remus watched Peter's face slowly redden as Sirius continued to talk blithely about the chubby blonde's lack of a social life outside his group of friends. Finally, a timid voice interrupted.

"I can get my own dates, Sirius."

Pausing, Sirius looked down. "Yes Peter, once we . . .."

Peter's face reddened a little more. "No. I mean, right now, I could get my own date."

Both James and Sirius exchanged disbelieving looks. "Peter, er... you don't exactly have, well, a sterling record." James said tactfully.

"No record at all. You haven't even been kissed. " Sirius added, throwing tact out the window.

Remus saw Peter clench his fist, his small eyes narrowing. "Tha... that's because I haven't wanted one! I..I could get a k...kiss! I could get a kiss before you James get back from Quidditch practice!"

Sirius grinned. "You really think so?"

"Sirius," Remus began in warning tone, but the dark haired boy waved him off.

Peter nodded stubbornly.

"I'll take you up on that then."

"Wha . . . wha . . . what?" Peter stammered.

"You bet you can get a kiss before James and I get back, I bet you don't. Loser steals fudge for the winner for a week, no, two weeks."

Peter flinched slightly but then nodded again. "'Kay, it's bet. Now if you don't mind, I have to go review my notes somewhere quieter."

***

"Stupid," Peter sniffled. "You heard him wondering how he could get fudge all week. So you, of course, obliging agree to a bet you can't win." Peter sniffled again, then rose from the bed, figuring that he might as well go ahead and start stealing fudge now. No girl he knew, save Lily maybe, wanted anything to do with him unless one of the others were around, and he didn't really want to kiss any girl he knew anyway.

"To the kitchens," he mumbled, trying to gather his courage. Sneaking around wasn't fun without the others; in fact, with the threat of running across Filch, it was down right scary.

"Not even going to try?" a soft voice inquired from behind him.

Peter glanced over and saw Remus standing there, his expression as neutral as it normally was. "What's the point?"

The werewolf's bushy eyebrows leapt beneath his bangs. "The point would be you tried. Trying is generally good, Peter."

Peter sat back on the bed leaving a place for Remus to sit down beside him. "Look, I just stuck my foot in it back there. I don't..." Slowly Peter's face began to redden.

"Who'd wanna kiss me anyway?" The teenager muttered, his arms gesturing at his body derisively.

"Could you even kiss someone just for a bet?" Remus asked.

"I don't know. That isn't exactly what I want my first kiss to be about. There--you see, I won't get kissed. I may as well just go to the kitchens now. Sirius will tease less if he has his mouth full."

"Can I ask another question?" Remus prodded gently.

Peter looked up sharply, his posture going defensive. "I know Sirius was teasing and I shouldn't be this upset. I don't know why it gets to me, Remmie! I'm probably just too sensitive . . .."

"Wait, wait! Peter, that's not what I was going to ask, but on that subject, your reaction is in no way wrong."

"But he didn't mean..."

'That doesn't give him the right to say it, Peter."

Peter looked hopefully up at Remus, wanting to believe that his reactions were called for, though Sirius and James had told him again and again that their teasing wasn't meant to hurt.

"Can I ask my question now?"

"Huh? Oh, sure . . .." Peter shifted his eyes a bit, wondering what Remus would ask.

"Do you want to kiss a girl?"

The youngest marauder stared in confusion at the oldest one. "Pardon?"

Remus grinned. Both Peter and Sirius often needed things put bluntly. Peter more so. "Have you any interest in girls? Are you attracted to them?"

That was as blunt as the soft-spoken Gryffindor could be. It seemed to work though. Peter's gray-blue eyes widened and a flush began to spread across his cheeks while his hands grabbed hold of his robe and he fidgeted with it. He began to mouth something wordlessly, then finally settled on just gaping at Remus.

The sandy-haired boy felt the fleeting sense of gratification that he felt whenever a guess of his proved correct. That self-indulgent feeling, though, was accompanied by a more general sense of happiness. Between the two feelings, Remus couldn't stop the grin the lit up his face.

"If that's so, then I think you can win the bet."

That snapped Peter out of his stupor. The morose look worked itself back into the boy's small eyes, and he shook his head. "No boy would want to kiss me either; 'sides, I've got to kiss a girl."

Remus's grin widened into the mischievous one reserved for the times when he thought up pranks. "No you don't. Sirius only said you had to get a kiss."

"Well ok, but still we're back to, no one wants to kiss me that I'd want to kiss. Hell, just no one wants to kiss me," Peter finished dejectedly.

For the first time, Remus paused significantly before answering. He looked at his hands for a moment, his eyes closing in contemplation.

"Moony?" Peter questioned softly.

Remus looked up, his eyes hazel suddenly more serious then they had been seconds ago. It was one of the few times in his life that he stuttered while speaking. "I . . . I Peter, I'd kiss you . . .." he finished very softly.

Silence hung in the dorm room as the two friends stared at each other, both surprised by the words. Peter had never thought that anyone would say that to him, let alone anyone he cared about. Remus felt as though his life hung on Peter's answer. He had not realized, until speaking the words out loud, how much he wanted Peter to say yes.

As the moment continued to stretch on, Remus felt his stomach began to churn in distress. Doubt flooded his mind, causing his breath to quicken. He could feel his throat tighten as the assuredness drained from his body.

"Peter," he began hoarsely, unable to meet the younger boy's eyes, " I d-didn't mean . . . look, if I guessed wrong, if you're offended . . .." Remus felt his palms grow cold and begin to sweat.

Peter blinked at Remus as the werewolf's words formed a sensible meaning to the shocked boy.

"No!" he squeaked suddenly. Before his eyes, Remus's face seemed to shatter, and for one second Peter didn't understand, then . . .. "Oh, no, wait Remus, I meant 'No, don't take it back! I mean, I don't, you can--it's just, I do want it if you do; you don't have to, you know, but should if its ok with . . . and I think I'll . . . I . . . I . . .."

As Peter stammered incomplete utterances, Remus felt the feeling return to his body. Broken as Peter's speech was, its meaning was crystal clear.

Gently he placed his hand over Peter's and held the boy's smaller hand, causing the blond to quiet down and just stare up at his friend. Remus's mind absently made note of just how much shorter Peter's fingers were compared to his own long, thin ones. It was just one of the odd things a person notices in awkward situations.

"I don't mind kissing you, if you don't mind kissing me." Peter finally whispered after another prolonged silence.

Remus smiled down at his friend, catching Peter's nervously averted eyes. "I don't mind, Peter. My only conditions are that I care about the person I kiss, that they care about me, and well, preferably, that they know what I am and still care." Remus paused to caress the hand that trembled beneath his own. "You more than fit all three."

Peter nodded mutely, unsure if he could speak. He half expected Sirius and James to burst into the room howling with laughter and explaining that it was just a joke. They'd wanted to see if he was gay or just that damn shy. Nervously Pete ran his fingers through his hair, then looked up at Remus. The older boy watched him with gentle hazel eyes that contained just the faintest hint of gold. Looking up at Remus's calm, caring expression, Peter felt the nervousness shift into almost soothing feeling. Slowly, the idea that he would be kissed, and by someone he cared about--loved, maybe--finally began to sink in.

"So, n..n..neither of us m...mind?"

"Apparently not."

"'kay, then."

There was a pause. Neither boy moved; instead, they merely watched each waiting for the other to take initiative.

"Peter?"

"Mmm?"

"You have to kiss me."

"No, the bet was I'd get kissed. I th-think you have to kiss me, Remus."

Remus tilted his head to the side, trying to recall what had been said. The shy smile returned, and he nodded, causing his long sandy blonde bangs to fall into his eyes. "Your right. Ok then."

"Okay."

Remus watched as Peter leaned forward; his head tilted slightly back. A rosy hue still tinted his round cheeks, giving him an innocent, child-like appearance. Drawing in a deep breath, Remus covered the younger boy's lips with his own. He tasted chocolate and milk and vaguely wondered when Peter had sneaked in that sweet snack. A soft hand against his side, though, quickly drew Remus's thoughts from the taste of Peter's lips and around to the feel of Peter's body pressing in against him. Without thinking much the older boy wrapped his own arms around the other Marauder's soft, round, trembling body

They stayed together like that a few moments longer before finally breaking apart in order to breathe. In silence, the pair sat side be side, neither wanting speak, instead wanting to absorb what they'd just done. Finally though, Peter's higher voice broke the moment.

"You know, I think I may still have to lose the bet."

Remus raised his eyebrows quizzically.

"I don't want to tell Sirius," the blond explained. Then he stiffened, realizing how Remus could take that. "I'm not embarrassed, it's just, Sirius will tease about this, and, well . . . I just . . . I don't want--it would seem to cheapen it. I don't . . . I'm probably just being silly, just . . .."

To Peter's delight and relief though, his friend, or maybe boyfriend now, grinned and patted his hand.

"It's all right. I understand, really." And the scholarly boy did. He didn't feel ready to face their loudmouthed friends' jokes about this budding relationship, either. He wanted to see where it went before he had to defend, explain, laugh about, or discuss what had happened. Beside him, he could see Peter slump in relief, the tension that had been building easing somewhat. Then, though, Remus recalled the rest of his comrades' statement. Frowning, the werewolf considered the problem. It would be a shame for the youngest Marauder to lose the bet when Peter had in fact won. There must be something.

"To the kitchens, then?" Peter sighed.

Remus almost agreed when a sudden thought struck him and the mischievous gleam returned to his eyes.

"Not at all. We will not only win this bet, but we'll drive Sirius crazy!" Peter eyed the suddenly elated werewolf doubtfully. However, he couldn't resist the conspiratorial look that had overtaken Remus, nor the hope that what Remmie promised could come true.

****

"Can you believe him! I thought he was going to--"

"I know, and when you hit the bludger with that--"

"I think my life flashed before my eyes!"

James and Sirius ran through the door, laughing and waving their broomsticks around to emphasize whatever highly exciting point they were making.

"Remus! Peter!" Sirius shouted running over to the desk where the two light haired Marauders sat examining Peter's potions essay for errors. "You missed one hell of a practice, You really should watch! Practice games are almost as fun as real games!"

Remus merely looked up at Sirius and James, trying hard not to smile he surveyed his dark haired friends with a critical eye.

"How," he intoned in mockingly disdainful voice, "can you two get so muddy when you are flying on broomsticks?"

"James tackled me!" Sirius whined playfully, adopting the demeanor of a tattling child.

James immediately picked up the act. "Well he tried to take my brook first!"

"Did not!"

"Did, too!"

"Liar!"

"Meanie!"

Peter and Remus looked at each other and rolled their eyes in unison. Then, all four boys broke up laughing.

Once they had reached composure again, Sirius's fickle attentions transferred from his best friend, who'd taken up the somewhat boring task of cleaning his precious Cleansweep, to Peter, who sat nearby, fidgeting. The tallest boy swung one leg over a nearby chair and straddled it backwards, leaning forward until he was inches from Peter's face. The younger Marauder twitched slightly under the sudden scrutiny.

"Did widdle Peter get his kiss?"

Now a flush made itself evident, burning its way all the way up to Peter's ears and down around his neck. Peter however, didn't look down; instead, his pale eyes met Sirius dark ones.

"Yes, Sirius I did." He managed to squeak out without stuttering.

The muscular Gryffindor boy blinked, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"You . . . you did?"

The smaller boy smiled at his tall friend, straightening up. Behind him, he heard Remus try to change a chuckle into a cough.

"Yes, I did."

"Who?!" James demanded, abandoning his broom and pulling up a chair beside his best friend.

Peter, however, shook his head. "Not your business who."

Instantly the shock faded from Sirius expression and a knowing grin fell into place. James went back to his broom. "Nice try, Wormtail, but that isn't going to work on me."

"But I . . . I." Peter's composure broke slightly, and Sirius, sensing the upper hand, pressed on.

"How can I know you got a kiss if you can't tell me who?"

"He kissed someone, Sirius," Remus interrupted softly, yet using his most serious, no-nonsense voice.

The black haired boy's gaze flickered from Peter over to the eldest marauder.

"And you know this because?"

"I was the witness."

Sirius grinned. "Well, then, Moony, fill us in."

Remus however, adopted a maddeningly superior look and shook his head. "It's not your business who Peter kissed. You just have to know that he did get a kiss."

A look of vexation flickered across Sirius's face. "Come on! How can I accept that Peter of all people--no offense, Peter--kissed someone if you two won't say who?"

"Because I witnessed it, and I swear on my honor as a Marauder that he did, and may Filch catch me naked in teacher's lounge with a bagful of dungbombs if I'm lying."

Sirius stared from Remus's smug face back to Peter's nervous one, then over to James.

"Prongs?"

James shrugged, "Remus swears on our oath it happened, and Peter's not likely to lie about something like this anyway. I believe them."

"But they've got to tell us!"

James strode over to Sirius and patted his friend's head. "Now, now, Padfoot, you never made that part of the bet. The don't have to and I think they won't."

"But why?" Sirius exclaimed nearly exploding with curiosity. "I mean it wasn't someone embarrassing was it? It wasn't Snape was it?"

"It was NOT Snape!" Peter practically screamed.

"Okay, we can cross Snape off that list, then..."

"I think Snape should never have been on the list, Sirius." James stage-whispered. Peter was managing to turn even redder then before as he slowly sank into the large overstuffed chair.

"Right you are, James." Sirius sighed, then cast a pleading look at the quieter half of their group. "Okay, please at least assure me you kissed a decent person," he begged.

Peter brightened and sat up somewhat. "I kissed a very decent person," he answered without hesitation. "I'm pretty sure you would have no objections to this person whatsoever."

If curiosity were fatal, Sirius would have died right then. James couldn't help but laugh at the pleading looks his friend kept giving to Remus and Peter.

"Admit it, Padfoot," the messy-haired boy chuckled, "you lost, and now you owe Peter fudge for the week."

With the sigh of one who'd suffered a mortal wound, Sirius nodded his head.

"Okay, you're right, Peter. I admit defeat." He couldn't keep up the dejected composure for more than a few seconds, though. In a moment, his face broke into a wide, energetic smile and he pounded Peter's back in friendly manner.

"Well, congratulations on your first kiss, then, Peter. We'll get you socialized yet!" Peter blushed and clutched his Potions textbook against his chest, mumbling something inaudible. Sirius, though, had already whirled back around on the Gryffindor Chaser.

"C'mon, James, I owe him fudge; let's get off to the kitchens!"

James's dark brown eyes stared dubiously at Sirius from behind his thick glasses.

"And why should I go with you? It was your bet, Padfoot."

"Because if you do not . . ." Sirius intoned, his voice dropping to a deep tone that one might associate with impending tidings of doom, ". . . if you should foolishly choose not to come, I'll surely be distracted by some gorgeous Ravenclaw girl, and forget my mission totally in favor of some snogging. This means Peter won't get his fudge, and so Peter will become cranky and easily distracted. If that happens, he won't be able to concentrate on his studies, which will annoy Remus, who will doggedly--or wolfishly, rather--continue to try and tutor Peter, all the while getting more and more irritated. Then Remus will become snappish to the world in general which would cause..."

"All right, all right," James laughed, raising his hands in defeat. "You've managed to convince me that the world will end if I don't come with you. Just let me grab the cloak."

Sirius swung his arms back and forth as he waited for James to dig the cloak out from the unexplored darkness beneath his bed. Once James had retrieved the precious garment, he threw it over himself and Sirius. Instantly they disappeared from sight; however, the two boisterous Marauders continued to remain perfectly audible.

Peter and Remus listened as uproarious laughter, random bad puns and harmless insults slowly became less and less perceptible.

Once the sound had faded completely, the two conspirators exchanged looks. A second passed in utter silence and then they nearly rolled out of the chairs with laughter, sharing in the jubilation of their private joke and newfound intimacy.

end