Time Cannot Erase

Time Cannot Erase

Chapter Two - By Miaka

(Harry's POV)

The air feels hot against my skin as I push open the door of the diner to leave, and I know it's because my face is flushed. I quickly replace my sunglasses, more to hide any lingering tears than to block out the light. I swallow, and it's difficult, as if Draco's hands are wrapped around my throat, cutting off the air, rather than just his cold words. Leaning against the railing, I fumble with a cigarette and a match, desperately trying to light it with shaking hands. Finally the damned thing lights and I quickly inhale, drawing the various toxins into my lungs without a second thought. It does little to calm my nerves. No, tonight I'm going to need something much stronger.

I glance over my shoulder at the diner's door and I see him. I can't understand why my mouth hurts until I realize I'm biting hard on my lip. He doesn't see me. He's focused on some Muggle. I curse myself for not remembering to call a cab. Well, I'm not going back in there now.

He brushes his bangs out of his eyes, and I remember the feel of those silken strands against my fingertips. The smile that would play on his lips as I looked into his eyes. The feel of his skin against mine, his lips on my lips, his lips against my skin, and.... Damn it, I've got to stop this. It's in the past. I am nothing to him, and he is nothing to me.

Three years. For three years I wondered what happened to him. Was he still alive, did he still think of me, did he ever miss me? Now I have the answers and the pain stings worse than I ever feared. I want to hate him; hate him for hurting me, hate him for making me feel like this. But I can't bring myself to do it. I know I hurt him, too. I am as much responsible for this situation as he is.

Fuck him.

Neither friend nor loved one....

Cold, calculated words. Ever the Malfoy. He can pretend he isn't all he wants, but some things never change. Fuck him. I grind my cigarette out on the railing and make my way around to the back of the building. I never particularly cared for Apparating, despite its convenience, but even splinching seems preferable to stepping foot back in that diner.

I round the corner, back where the dumpsters are, and, wrinkling my nose from the smell of grease and rotting food, I close my eyes and picture my little motel room. Careful to picture every detail, I see the double bed - smack in the center of the room. The TV on the entertainment-center across from the bed with its FREE CABLE and scrambled porn. The nightstand in the corner, bolted down like the TV to keep the more undesirably tenants from accidentally going home with them. I open my eyes and I am there. Yes, it's a shitty little room in a shitty little motel, but it's home. At least for the moment. I could afford much better, but why bother? I hardly spend any time here and when I do, I'm usually too drunk to care.

I cross the room to the little counter in the bathroom and retrieve a small glass and the bottle of gin that I'd left there a couple of nights ago. Collapsing onto the bed, I quickly down the evening's first glass.

Time passes. The bottle grows lighter and the gin easier to swallow, and just as I had predicted, the memories of Draco's cold attitude begin to become hazy. I don't feel like sitting here all alone anymore. I want to go out. I want to have fun. I grab the room key from the nightstand, dial up the cab company (who must've come to expect this nightly call by now) and step outside to wait.

I have the cab take me to Gillian's, a cute little car and billiard's hall I discovered a couple of weeks ago. I can hear loud music before I even step out of the cab. Probably some crappy local band that no one cares about. I flash my ID as I walk through the doors, but it's really unnecessary. The bouncers know me by now.

Heat, smoke and loud music. I love this place. The band is indeed crappy, and most definitely local, but the singer's kinda cute and I really like what she's doing with the microphone. I make my way to the bar and I don't even have to order. The bartender's already fixing my drink.

I thank him and allow my gaze to return to the girl on the stage. She's dancing, and I'm mesmerized by the sway of her hips as she holds out her hands to the drunken audience, and then runs them through her long blond hair.

Three drinks later, the band finishes their set. The singer thanks the audience and the male members of the band wave briefly before skulking into the shadows. I move to the side of the stage so I can catch the girl on her way to the back.

"Hi there," I say, and she turns to face me, a smile playing on her lips. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure." She smiles, licking her lips flirtatiously. I smile, too. We both know how this is going to play out.

~/~/~

Three drinks later and I have to compensate not only for my limp but for a slight stagger as I lead the girl to the men's bathroom. Some guys whistle as we enter and I manage a small smile as I fight the blush creeping into my cheeks. The girl doesn't seem to mind.

The next thing I know, I'm leaning against the bathroom stall door and she's unzipping my pants. I moan slightly as she runs her tongue over me and my eyes flutter closed as she takes me in her mouth.

Closing my eyes was a bad idea. Instead of focusing on the pleasure I should be feeling, I'm seeing Draco's face, his eyes angry and accusatory, like the night before he moved out. I try to focus on something else, the girl I'm with or some guy from a couple of nights ago, but I keep seeing Draco's cold grey eyes, his disapproving stare. Fuck. The girl notices something is wrong and seems to double her efforts, humming lightly as she sucks and licks.

I glance down at the girl, about to tell her that I'm sorry, and I must have had a bit too much to drink, but all I see is blond hair and for an moment I can almost imagine that it's someone else's head down there. Before I know it, I'm overcome with sensations, picturing Draco's eyes again, but this time they're full of passion and lust, and my body is tensing and I'm babbling incoherently and I'm pretty sure that was Draco's name that just spilled past my lips, and I hope like hell she didn't notice, and then I'm weak, shaking, as the aftereffects of a mind-blowing orgasm begin to set in, and I have to use the door of the bathroom stall to hold me up. She's looking at me with a self-satisfied smile, and even though they're brown eyes and not grey, I quickly zip my fly, taking her by the hand and leading her back into the bar.

"If it's alright with you, I think I'm taking you home with me tonight."

Her only response is a giggle and I take that as a 'yes'.

~/~/~

I grope around the nightstand for the lamp switch, and accidentally knock the lamp over. I hear the bulb pop. Great. This is going to be one of those days. I reach into the drawer and pull out my wand, whispering Lumos, and my head feels like it's going to explode from the sudden invasion of light. Finding it peculiar that my wallet's lying open on the nightstand, I quickly look through it and find it empty. She fucking stole my money. Great. That's bloody fantastic. Slumping back onto the bed, I extinguish the light from my wand.

This is going to be one of those days.