A Friend's Love

//...// denotes thought
*...* denotes emphasis

Sitting at the dinner table, completely absorbed in my new Chudley Cannons book, I decided to take a break and interact with the people sitting around me eating their meals. Shutting my book with a quiet *snap*, I allowed my eyes to scan the faces of my fellow Hogwarts students. Hermione, Dean, Seamus, Percy, Neville... //That's funny, where's Harry?// I was almost certain I had seen him before I got so wrapped up in my book.

"Hermione, where'd Harry go?" I asked flatly.

"Oh Ron, *honestly*! Has that book of yours taken over your brain or something?"

//I don't understand.//

"Harry never showed up for dinner. But *really* I was thinking we should check on him to see if everything--"

"Hermione, I saw Harry sitting with us. Over by Neville." You'd think everyone thought I was nutters by the way they all looked up at me.

"Ron, maybe you ought to pay a visit to Madam Pomfrey. You're not acting like yourself!" Hermione rose from her seat. I couldn't think of a good argument to that, so I let her drag me out into the entrance hall by the wrist.

"Hermione...stop...listen. Maybe we ought to go see if Harry is alright and everything. You said so yourself." I hoped I didn't sound too anxious. It was just that, as Harry's friend, I was worried about him. Lately he'd been acting very withdrawn from the rest of us. I felt it was somewhat my responsibility to look after him. I decided that later I would question him about his unusual behaviour. For now, however, I was with Hermione, and we were going to the Gryffindor tower to find Harry and tell him about the trouble he was in after missing our potions lesson this morning.

//Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Harry all day.// Before I could mention this to Hermione, though, we reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. I snapped my mouth shut so as not to say anything I would regret.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked importantly.

"Scorching Dragons," Hermione responded expeditiously. We both stepped back as the portrait swung open on its hinges, revealing a large hole leading into the Gryffindor Common Room. Hermione and I stepped inside.

"I don't think he's in here," I commented calmly. //I wonder where he's gone off to now.// "Let's check upstairs." We trod up to the dormitories and I turned the handle as we reached our room. I peered inside and caught a glimpse of Harry lying face-down on his four-poster bed. He didn't see us. I beckoned Hermione inside.

"Who's there?" Harry called out to us nervously. I took a few steps forward and Harry sat up in his bed and faced us. His face was a vivid shade of crimson and his eyes were damp and swollen. He'd been crying.

//Harry I'll comfort you.//

I wanted to reach out to him as a friend. I didn't want to see him hurt, but I didn't know what to say to him.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione fled to his side. I sat on the edge of his bed peering down at him, trying my best to look sympathetic. Harry said nothing but looked as though he were about to get his head bitten off. "Harry *please* tell us what's wrong. We only want to help you." Her voice trailed off. I felt helpless. What could I possibly say?

//I don't want to hurt him.// Before either of us had the chance to say anything more, Harry flopped himself back onto his pillow. He rolled over, burying his face in it. My heart nearly stopped beating as he started to cry.

"Maybe we should go," Hermione whispered nervously. "Maybe he wants to be alone." She was obviously uncomfortable. I, for one, would not leave my friend alone in this state.

"No, Hermione." I was surprised at myself for sounding so harsh. I placed a comforting hand on Harry's back, rubbing in little circles. I could feel heat and sweat on his shirt. I tried my best to calm him down.

I know Hermione loved Harry as a friend, and would never intentionally hurt him. However, I saw her standing beside him looking tremendously uneasy and helpless. I knew there was nothing she could do in this situation.

"Hermione, why don't you run along to the Great Hall and finish your dinner. Harry and I will be fine." She looked relieved and didn't bother arguing back.

"Cheer up, Harry," she whispered awkwardly. She left, closing the door shut behind her. Harry and I were alone. I stopped rubbing Harry's back. He wasn't sobbing anymore, but I listened in misery as he whimpered softly into his pillow. The moonlight had begun shining through the window, glimmering beautifully on his back.

"Harry--" I decided to talk to him and see if he would confide in me. The crying stopped abruptly. "Harry please look at me," I whispered in a soothing voice. He turned over onto his back, and it was a pitiful sight. His face was hot and tear-streaked with his hair all sticking to his forehead. He would not look me in the eyes, and I knew he was humiliated.

//Harry I would never laugh at you.//

He sniffled cutely and sat upright. Even in his most disgraceful moment I admired his beautiful face. He sat there in silence, and I knew I should say something to him. The moonlight lit up his wet face, and it was gorgeous. I lifted my hand towards him and brushed the hair off his forehead.

"That's better," I said to him lovingly. He looked a little less tense. I reached behind him and propped up a few of his pillows. He sat back, staring at me through grateful eyes. I couldn't help but gaze into those eyes intently, getting lost in them, speechless and in awe. He gazed back at me. I wanted to take him in my arms and comfort him because he is my friend, my friend who I could not bear to see in pain. I was surprised when he suddenly grasped my hand in his own.

"Harry, are you all right?" I asked, placing my other hand to his forehead. He nodded nervously and I knew he was worried. He was hiding something from me, a piece of information he did not want me to know. //I want to know, Harry. Oh *God*, please tell me.//

As if he were reading my mind, Harry opened his mouth to speak. His voice was high-pitched and shaky, but still very quiet.

"Ron," he started, "I--I want to tell you something." He was quite serious, so I listened without making a sound. I just squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue. "Ron, I am in love with someone. I don't think I can tell you who. I..." his voice trailed off and he sank back into the bed.

My mind started racing, started putting some of the pieces together. Harry is in love, he's hurt. The only thing I could think of was how I wanted to be there for him. My heart raced. He squeezed *my* hand this time, and I let out a great sigh. Harry peered deep into my eyes, almost as if he were searching for something. //What are you looking for, Harry?//

"Ron?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I'm in love with--I'm in love with...you." He looked exhausted and I knew it must have been very difficult for him to tell me that. I respected him for it. He suddenly released my hand; I knew he was, yet again, embarrassed.

"Harry, it's okay," I assured him, taking his hand again. If I could, I would have taken a picture of him, the look on his face. He was smiling; the only way I could describe it is relief. The moonlight had crept its way down to his shirt and arms. His whole body was doused with the sparkling light. //Beautiful.// I also noticed his body was covered in sweat, most likely from all that crying.

"Let's get you out of this," I suggested, tugging at the damp sleeve of Harry's shirt. He nodded briefly and then leaned forward. I helped him unfasten some of the buttons on the shirt. He slipped the piece of clothing off his shoulders. I helped him slide his arms out. I tossed the shirt aside, admiring Harry's appearance. His milky white skin looked appealing in the moonlight. The moment was not awkward at all; I didn't want it to end. Harry had been peering at me through swollen, glistening eyes. With my hand I tilted his head up so it was masked by the shadows. I moved in closer to him. Shaking profusely, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his soft cheek. He quivered.

//Harry, don't hate me for that.//

I actually enjoyed the kiss. When he moved into the light again I discovered he had enjoyed it too. He was positively beaming. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I reached out to Harry, wrapping my arms tightly around him. I sighed and rested my head upon his naked shoulder. It all seemed so right. All along I knew I loved Harry. That was never the question. But did Harry ever feel, in his mind, that I had somehow rejected him? Was *that* why he was crying?

"Harry--I never want to hurt you," I assured him.

"I know, Ron. I was just so confused. I love you so much Ron, and I didn't know what to do. That's why I was in here and then you--"

"Shhh..." I placed a trembling finger on his lips. "It's all okay now."

"Is it, Ron?" Harry asked me. He looked suddenly confused.

"Harry, I love you, too." I could not, nor had no desire to, prevent myself from admitting this. I knew it was true. //Doesn't he already know that?// "You knew that, didn't you, Harry?" I questioned. Harry looked suddenly sad. He dropped his head, but never really answered me. "Oh, Harry...I've always loved you...always been in love with you." That familiar look of relief spread across his face. I could see it in his eyes; they were shining proudly like stars. I smiled at him. Harry leaned forward, placing his hands on both of my shoulders.

"You're in love with *me*?" he blurted, obviously amused.

"Of course, you silly git!" I laughed at Harry's astonishment. "Of course I am."

This time it was Harry who gave a sigh. I could smell his sweet breath as it lingered in the air for just a fleeting moment. //Mmm...//

He leaned in and planted a wet kiss on the tip of my nose. I moaned softly in response. I wrapped my arms even tighter around his bare torso and he hugged me back. It was wonderful. We sat there in silence for several moments, the two of us with arms thrown around each other.

"Look at us, Harry," I laughed. "The two of us both in love with each other all this time, and neither of us knew!"

"Kind of works out well, then, doesn't it?" It wasn't really a question. He glanced up, a playful look in his eyes. I kissed his forehead. His skin was so soft against mine that it felt good. It felt natural, so I kissed him again and again: his cheek, ears, nose, eyelids, and his scar. All the while, he was moaning quietly. I leaned back into the pile of soft, feathery pillows, pulling him back with me. I turned on my side to face him, and he soon did the same. The moment was perfect and I wanted to capture it in a bottle.

"Can I tell you something, Ron?" Harry asked me.

//Anything you want, baby.//

"Um, sure, Harry..." I responded, clenching one of his hands in my own.

"Well the one thing I've wanted ever since I met you was..." Bringing the hand to my mouth, I kissed each finger passionately. He leaned over, bringing his mouth up to my ear. Whatever he was going to tell me must have been a secret. He hesitated, debating in his mind whether or not he should tell me.

"Oh, go on, Harry."

"I wanted to kiss you," he whispered quietly in my ear. With that, he pressed his lips against mine. We remained there for several moments with our mouths touching, neither one of us daring to go any further. I pulled away for a second.

"If you're going to kiss me, might as well do it properly," I said, grinning at Harry who was breathing in short heavy breaths. I waited for him to reinitiate the kiss, which he did quite hastily. This time he opened his mouth and poked his tongue out, licking my lips. I gladly let him in by opening my own mouth. We rested there, tongues jousting, lips meshing together, both of us turning into one whole. Harry's fingers wandered to my head where he toyed with my hair. He became more comfortable with the whole idea of kissing and pushed his tongue into my mouth even harder. His skin felt *perfect* against my body.

"Harry, hang on," I told him, pulling away, both of us out of breath. His face was no longer puffy or red from crying, and I had the urge to touch it. Harry's face was so lovely it was unreal. I had a reason for halting our kiss. A little nervous, I lifted my own shirt over my head.

//Harry, you're worth it.//

Harry seemed pleased so I immediately scooped him into my arms. Our bodies were both hot and sweaty, and as they touched, it really *was* perfect.

"Ron?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Ron, I want you."

//Ohhh...Harry, why did it take you so long to tell me?//

I moaned--louder than I had intended. At that, Harry kissed my chin, quickly moving down to my neck, chest, and stomach, planting kisses all the way down in a neat little row. It felt good. Harry knew that. He stopped when he reached my belly button, placing a huge wet kiss on it. //It definitely feels good// I thought to myself.

"Harry, I want you, too," I assured him. "Believe me, I do."

"Yeah, but how much?" he asked me. I didn't know how to answer this without sounding foolish. I decided to test my courage. Reaching down, I fumbled with the button on his pants. After much difficulty they came undone and I gasped in triumph.

"That's how much," I whispered. With a tiny moan Harry grabbed onto my hand. He placed it on his stomach, right below his belly button, sliding it toward his jeans.

"Do you want to do this?" he asked me.

//Duh.//

"Sure, Harry."

He kissed me hard on the mouth, using his tongue. I could get used to this.