Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

I looked into your eyes and saw myself, and saw my future, and saw my past. And I loved it. I was staring and staring and all I could think was 'why hasn't this happened sooner?' Soon enough, you were kissing me and you had my head cradled between your hands, your beautiful hands, and I realised I was crying. Tears were sliding slowly down my cheeks and pooling on your hands, and it shocked me so much I drew back, gasping. And you just smiled. You understood me so well that you didn't have to even ask what was wrong. You knew that it was only because I was so shocked, and so happy, and feeling things that were so strong it was scary. But you didn't care a bit. You just leaned back in and kissed me again. So I kissed you back and fulfilled every dream I'd ever had of finding the one person I connected with. And all this time it had been you, and I hadn't known. All the times we had spoken and touched and laughed together and I had never known. So I smiled into your mouth and took the first step, pushing my hands up and under your shirt so that I could slide my fingers over the smooth skin of your back. You had your fingers curled around the waistband of my trousers, and then suddenly you were tugging at the hem of my top and it was over my head and gone, somewhere in the room.

I looked up and met your gaze, my heart was beating so fast and so loudly that I thought you would hear it, and I realised I didn't care if you did. And I had never had that feeling, the feeling of not being the slightest bit uncomfortable with a man. And soon our clothes had gone and there was only you. You were everywhere and everything. You were my oxygen and you were my life and I was so involved with you that I knew things would never be the same again and I was too happy and contented as you kissed me and touched me to worry about anything like change. And I just wanted you more as we moved together and I could hear your heartbeat and I wanted it to be my heartbeat, and I wanted to be one with you, I wanted us to never be apart. And I was abruptly aware that I would let nothing stand in the way of us being that kind of entity. That all-consuming entity that takes over your life and sweeps you up into something that controls and guides your life. And I wanted it to be you; I wanted it so badly that I didn't know how to tell you. So I didn't say a word.

And I didn't need to. Your body said it all as we were enveloped in the bubble that came from our souls and bodies entwining together. And I wound my arms around your neck and held on as tightly as I could, my hands grappling at your shoulder blades. And as my muscles tensed and yours quickly followed, I finally let out a sound, and I could see your eyes as they gazed at me, not even noticing that my nails were digging into your shoulders as they stayed in their stiff position before relaxing. You sighed as your head fell gently down to mine, and our lips met in one, small, tender kiss. And I closed my eyes and you leaned down next to me and laid your head on my shoulder as you closed your own eyes and started your drift into sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And that's where I am now. Lying on the floor of your sitting room on the bright blue rug that I bought you for Christmas and trying to sleep. But my mind has, all of a sudden, been flooded with thoughts of things that aren't very good to think about. The main thought is about what you are going to do when you wake up, and I have mixed reactions in my mind, and I'm wishing I wasn't having them. And as I lie here I can feel your breath on my shoulder and I know that you love me, but I just wish I knew how much, and in what way. You always could sleep easily, I never knew how you did it, but I never thought that I would be experiencing it from this angle. My mind is twisting itself slowly and surely into knots of tension and thoughts that are far too deep. And I wish beyond wishing that I could see what you had been thinking when you had kissed me that first time. And I start to doubt everything I've ever believed.

*~*~*~*

Tonight you're mine completely

You give your love so sweetly

Tonight the light of love is in your eyes

But will you love me tomorrow?

*~*~*~*

I'm still not asleep, and the clock on the wall has just struck one in the morning. I have never felt so sated after making love than I have tonight, and I'm beginning to think that maybe you are the one person I need. But I'm wondering if you will feel that way too when you wake up.

*~*~*~*

Tonight with words unspoken

You say that I'm the only one

But will my heart be broken

When the night meets the morning sun?

*~*~*~*

And, without any warning, my heart freezes. And for the first time since we were in school, battling the Dark Lord, I feel that familiar feeling close over my chest. The feeling I was so pleased to be rid of when the nightmares finally left me. The very same feeling that I prayed would leave you when we grew older, when you would stop having the horrific night terrors. Fear. Cold and very real fear. The kind of fear that haunts you for years after the thing you fear leaves you. The kind of fear that can change your life in a moment. And it squeezed my heart until I fell asleep; unshed tears glistening in my eyes.

*~*~*~*

When I wake up, you're still asleep, and I wonder again at your miraculous way of sleeping longer than anyone I know. And, abruptly, I realise my fears are about to come into the light as I see your eyelids flicker and begin to open. Your eyes, with their startling colour, look down at me, and I see the memory flood back. That moment was the worst of my life. Then, to my relief, your familiar smile stretches across the comforting features and you lean your head down to kiss my lips. A long lingering kiss that leaves me smiling giddily and makes all my dark thoughts flee back to their shadows.

"Morning," you whisper.

"Hey." That's it. That's what I say to the man I have just shared the most thrilling night of my life with. Hey. But the beautiful thing is that you don't care. You smile and kiss me again.

"Thank you," you say, staring at me with an intensity that makes me feel like I'm more naked than I already am. I shake my head. You reach up and tuck some hair behind my ear and say something I never thought I'd hear before last night. "I'm in love with you, Hermione."

And that was when my heart was released. That was when every fear I have ever had fell away from my mind, and ran back to the shelter in my head that would never let them surface again. The place that would never again let me doubt that way this man felt about me.

And everything dropped into place. For the first time in my life I was so sure about something that I knew no one could ever prove me wrong. And in that instant I realised my life was complete.

*~*~*~*

Knew you were my destiny by the way you make me feel

Only you in my life forever and a day

You're everything I ever imagined my love could be

Like the stars need the sky

And the river needs its rain

Like an eagle needs its wings

And a fire needs its flame

Like the sun needs a day

And the night needs a moon

Like the air that I breathe

That's how I dreamed of you.

*~*~*~*

I look up. "I'm in love with you too, Ron."