In the Darkness

A/N: Well readers, this is my first ever slash fic that I've actually had the guts to post. So I hope you enjoy it. And to those who don't like slash, I beg of you, you've been warned. Please don't leave me a flaming review. It'd make me really happy if you didn't. And to others who enjoy slash, I hope this fic is up to par with your standards and isn't a let down. Enjoy! (I hope...)

In The Darkness

Harry stared out the window of his safe house, watching the snowfall fixedly as if mesmerized. It was nearing Christmas, and Dobby (aided by Hermione) had placed all sorts of tinsel and muggle lights that flickered on and off on the walls. In the corner near where Harry sat was a large tree that shown merrily. The tree had presents stacked underneath it, each wrapped with a different colourful paper. On the top of the tree sat a wizard doll with a long white beard, half-moon spectacles, and robes that changed with the lights. Overall, the house had a cheery atmosphere.

But Harry was far from cheerful. Ever since the horrid night of his Headmaster's murder, Harry couldn't seem to get happy again. The closest he got to being happy was when Hermione had shared with him that she and Ron thought it would be more than appropriate to honour Dumbledore's memory by having a tree-topper that looked like him. Harry, of course, had immediately agreed and when Hermione placed it upon the tree, Harry felt his heart swell.

That had been about three weeks ago. Harry had long since lost all cheerfulness, and had started staring out the window again. If Ron and Hermione noticed, they didn't say anything. Harry didn't think they did though. They were much too wrapped up in themselves to worry. And Harry was thankful for that. He didn't want to ruin their newfound happiness with his despair.

The problem, Harry realised long ago, was that he couldn't get an image out of his head. No matter what he did, it continued to haunt him. While he was awake, and in his dreams. He couldn't escape it.

Malfoy - no, Draco - had lowered his wand.

Draco hadn't wanted to kill Dumbledore. He may of thought beforehand he did, but Harry knew the look he saw flicker behind his old enemy's eyes. A look begging for help, pleading for someone to understand, and knowledge of the mistake he had made. Draco, at the last minute, had believed Dumbledore and had wanted to run. But then Snape came. And Harry saw something behind Draco's eyes shatter. He was terrified, and knew all hope was gone.

And now Harry sat, wondering and staring into the depths of darkness. Where was Draco now? What had Snape done to him? Was he still alive? And if so, what had he done? Was he still serving Voldemort, or had he ran? Question upon question weighed on Harry's mind, pushing him further and further into misery, wishing with all his being he could find and help Draco.

"Harry, did you hear me?"

Harry started and looked up into the brown eyes of Hermione. She looked worried. Lost in his thoughts, Harry hadn't noticed she or Ron's approach. "No Hermione, I'm sorry, what did you say?" he asked.

"I asked you if you where all right?" she replied, sitting down.

"Yeah mate," Ron agreed, joining his girlfriend on the couch. "You've been a bit down for awhile. What's on your mind?"

Harry stared at his friends. Part of him wanted to tell them everything that was on his mind, but part of him didn't. They wouldn't understand why he cared. They wouldn't want to accept it even if they knew. Hermione wouldn't like it, but would be supportive. Ron on the other hand would probably be disgusted and turn him away.

"It just...this is the first Christmas without him," Harry said, knowing they would think he was talking about someone entirely different, "it's just hard. Really hard. I...miss him."

Hermione nodded almost immediately and took Harry's hand. "Of course it is, Harry," she said softly, "it is for all of us and we all miss him. But he wouldn't want us to be sad, not on Christmas. So cheer up, hmm?"

Harry nodded, and suddenly had a powerful urge to go on a walk. "Listen guys," he said, drawing away from Hermione, "I'm gonna go on a walk, I'll be back soon though."

"Yeah," Ron said, his face suddenly solemn.

"Wear a heavier cloak Harry, it's freezing outside," said Hermione, rushing it over to him, "and dinner will be ready and hot when you get back."

Harry nodded in thanks, and walked out into the darkness. He trudged through the foot deep snow; not even noting how cold it was as it seeped into his trainers. He just stared blankly ahead, hardly blinking. He couldn't see more than two feet in front of him, but he didn't need to see. His legs knew precisely where to go, as they'd walked this path many times before.

Walking this path, thinking these thoughts - it was done as though mechanically. Harry lost count how many times he'd done this. He wouldn't be surprised if he had worn a path in the ground.

But something different happened this time. Someone else was walking his path.

Harry squinted through the darkness and heavy snowfall. It was a tall, shadowy someone, walking slowly, as if time stood still. Harry clamped his hand on his wand tightly, and walked forward. Just as he got close enough to hex them, his breath caught in his throat.

It was Draco.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes. After all the thinking and the dreams and the staring into the nothingness of night, he was here. He took off his glasses, rubbed them on his soaking robes, and put them back on. Sure enough, Draco came back into focus.

He was walking incredibly slowly, his face white, blank, and void of emotion. His once pale gray eyes were empty and dark - almost black - and his hair was plastered to his head. His black robes were clinging to his body, hugging his every curve. He looked skinner than Harry had ever seen him, and he was trembling uncontrollably.

Harry lowered his wand and stepped over to him. He lit the tip of his wand and barely dogged a hex sent streaking past him.

Draco had whipped towards Harry and cast a spell before he even saw who it was. But when Harry came into view, he dropped his arm back down, not believing whom he was seeing.

Harry noticed now that Draco's face was lit that he had dark bags under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in ages. His cheeks were sunken in, cheekbones seeming like they protruded from his skin. His face was blotchy, and his eyes puffy. Tear streaks stood out vividly on his pale face.

"Draco?" asked Harry.

Draco started, as if he hadn't been expecting Harry to speak, let alone call him 'Draco'. However, he quickly recovered and put on his famous Malfoy sneer. "Well well, Potter," he said, "fancy meeting you here. I'm actually surprised you left the Mudblood and Weasel alone without you. Are you sure they'll survive?"

Harry didn't believe his bitterness for a second. Beyond those dark gray eyes he saw unbearable pain, loss, and helplessness. He was pleading for help, even if he didn't know he was. "Stop, Draco. I know you don't mean that," he said softly.

Draco's eyes narrowed into small black slits. "How the hell do you know what I mean, Potter? And how dare you call me by my name," he spat.

"I was there that night," Harry said.

Draco said nothing, but he frowned in confusion.

"Don't give me that, you know what I'm talking about," Harry said. "The night you almost killed Dumbledore."

Draco winced slightly, but wiped it away only a half-second later. "What's your point, Potter? I've got more important things to do that stand here and listen to you."

"You saw me Draco, and when we locked eyes for that brief moment, I saw something in you. You didn't want to do it. You were hurting, you were lost, and you were scared. You wanted out, but didn't know how. You were afraid of what may happen to you, to your parents. And I understand that. I would've been too. But in those last moments, you trusted Dumbledore. You were going to change sides and -"

"You have no fucking clue how I felt that night," Draco suddenly yelled, balling his fists up, "so shut your bloody mouth about it! Fuck Potter, had it never occur to you that I did want to kill Dumbledore? I mean, why wouldn't I? He's everything I'm against. He was a stupid, senile, muggle-loving bastard. I didn't need anyone's help. Not then, not now, not ever. So just get the fuck away from me, and we'll pretend this never happened."

Harry stared at Draco in slight shock. He had expected something like this, but that didn't make it any easier. He noticed suddenly that Draco was shaking, and his eyes were very bright. "What happened to your parents, Draco?" Harry asked softly.

Draco flicked his eyes up to Harry's, as if searching for something. His eyes narrowed once again, but he never dropped his scathing glare. "The Dark Lord - because I didn't do as he ordered - killed them. Slowly. I got the pleasure of a front row view."

Harry's small intake of breath brought Draco's anger back.

"What the fuck do you care, Potter?" he snapped. "In fact, why the hell am I still talking to you?" And with that, Draco being walking off.

Harry reached out and grabbed his shoulder, refusing to let him go again.

"Fuck off, Potter," he demanded, not turning around.

Harry didn't move, only tightened his grip.

"I'm warning you, I'll kill you."

"No," Harry said forcefully, "I'm not going to leave you. I can help you."

Draco whipped around so fast Harry thought he heard a crack. His hand only let go for a fraction of a second though, before grabbing again and holding tight.

"NO YOU BLOODY WELL CAN'T! WHY THE HELL DO ALL YOU PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO HELP ME?" Draco shouted.

"Because we can." Harry answered calmly.

"Let me go, now." Draco said, breathing deeply from his outburst.

"No, I'm not letting go."

"Potter," he said in a low voice, "I will kill you. I have enough hate for you to Avada Kedavra you on the spot."

"You lowered your wand."

"What?" Draco asked, taken aback at the sudden change of subject.

"YOU LOWERED YOUR WAND!"

Draco didn't respond, but raised his eyebrows at Harry's explosion.

Harry had begun to shake, but the hand on his shoulder never wavered. "I saw you Draco! And right before Snape came and blew everything to hell, you lowered your wand. So don't you fucking tell me you don't want or need help, because you do! I can see it now, in your eyes!"

Draco stared, his bright eyes never breaking the lock he had with Harry's now anger filled ones. Both boys were shaking, one from anger, and one from something entirely different.

"You need help, Draco," Harry continued, "no matter what you say. And I'm going to give it to you."

Draco opened his mouth, but Harry cut him off. "Please, Draco," Harry pleaded, a hint of desperation in his voice, "let me help you. I want to help you."

Draco's eyes burned as he fought off the sudden tears that consumed him so often lately. His body shook with the effort of suppressing his emotions. He refused to break down in front of Harry, and refused to admit that he did, indeed, want and need help.

"I have to go," he said, his voice trembling, "I can't stay here...they'd find me." He drew in a slight breath, not meaning to say quite so much.

"They won't. It's hidden. I'm the only one who can tell others where it is." Harry answered immediately.

Draco paused for a moment. "Why do you want to help me? What have I done to gain your trust?" His voice shook with tears and his tone sounded defeated.

Harry closed the space between he and Draco. He slowly reached up and touched Draco's frozen cheek with his hand. When Draco didn't hex him into oblivion, he began to lean slowly towards him. Very gently, he pressed his lips to the other boy and waited patiently, yet anxiously, for a reaction. After a short moment (Draco getting over the shock Harry reckoned), he began kissing Harry back.

Harry brought his hands up and entwined them with Draco's freezing ones, and gently nudged at Draco's mouth with his tongue. And Draco reacted almost instantly. He opened his mouth and allowed Harry to explore.

They stayed that way for a few moments, before pulling apart.

"That's why, Draco." Harry said softly.

Draco stared at Harry in shock. Hot tears slowly began to roll down his cheeks, and he let them. Harry had kissed him. Harry bloody Potter. And to top it all off, he wanted to help him. The moment suddenly hit him so strongly, and he lowered his head and began to sob silently.

Harry didn't hesitate. He pulled the broken boy into his arms tightly. No words were spoken for none were needed.

Draco slowly began to compose himself. A new feeling suddenly crashed over him like a wave. Something he hadn't felt for many years. Safety. Never had he ever been truly safe. But being with Harry now, it just all felt right.

Harry rubbed Draco's back soothingly, waiting patiently for his tears to subside. The boy soon calmed down and pushed himself away.

"Let's go back," said Harry, "Hermione's got dinner ready and I can't feel my toes anymore."

Draco, after a few torn moments, nodded. Harry couldn't suppress a smile.

FIN

A/N End: Well...how was it? Did it meet your expectations? Please review now, if you don't mind. I'd love to hear what you thought. And if you've got some critism, lay it on me. I'm always open to hear some constructive critism.