Rating:
PG-13
House:
Astronomy Tower
Ships:
Lily Evans/Severus Snape
Characters:
Lily Evans
Genres:
Romance
Era:
1970-1981 (Including Marauders at Hogwarts)
Spoilers:
Deadly Hallows (Through Ch. 36)
Stats:
Published: 12/27/2007
Updated: 12/27/2007
Words: 1,718
Chapters: 1
Hits: 559

The Agreement

alwayshermione

Story Summary:
Under other circumstances, all of Severus Snape's dreams would be coming true. But in this last year at Hogwart's, he must make a choice that breaks his heart.

Chapter 01

Posted:
12/27/2007
Hits:
559


The girl would not run; she would not give him the satisfaction, she thought. How silly, though, she realized. It amounted to the same thing. She was chasing him, and only the stitch in her side prevented her running. She needed to be careful.

Suddenly he stopped and turned to face her. "What do you want?"

She couldn't answer, or couldn't provide just one answer to that question. She didn't know what it was she wanted, or knew too well, or knew how impossible everything was, even how impossible it was to talk to him. She said nothing. In facing him, she knew not to meet his eyes.

"You are following me then for no reason?"

Still she was unable to speak, but she allowed herself to look into his eyes, her own filling with tears. She placed her left hand on her abdomen, and he turned his back on her.

"Apparently you and Potter have not been very prudent. You know the charm," he said calmly without turning to face her.

"It's not like that!" Suddenly she was angry. "It's never been...it's not like.... It isn't serious, not the way you...."

She stopped speaking, and he turned to look at her. She returned his gaze, let his eyes penetrate hers from above. He had taught her to hide her thoughts, but she had never been good at it, not the way he was, not the way he had expected her to be. He knew now, but still he held her eyes like captives.

"Mine?"

She nodded, half-smiling through her tears. Looking at his blurry form, she waited for a response. But he was ignoring her, murmuring incantations she had never heard, soft and beautiful and intense like song. Afterwards, he silently dropped to his knees, and looked up at her. "May I?"

She nodded. He placed his fingertips on her middle with almost no pressure. Then he pressed his ear to her, again murmuring something she could not understand.

"What are you doing?" She was beginning to be annoyed at his behavior; shouldn't he be talking to her about what should be done? What would come next?

"Shhhh.... Healthy, lots of magic, four months gestation, he has--

"He! A boy, are you sure? How do you know?

"It is first-year healing; it's easy, I can show you how to--

"And what was all that other stuff?

"Protective charms, growth charms--I'm assuming you don't want this to become general knowledge. I assume also that you want the child protected. Muffliato, invisibility, Lily, you should recognize these. We've been--

"Will you stop! We need to talk."

"Yes. I thought we were. We do not, however, need to yell."

"Maybe I do."

"As you wish, then."

"So, you have no reaction to this? Or, just a clinical one? This means nothing to you--or, no, wait, it's just an opportunity to show off your advanced knowledge of healing? Oh, and, by the way, as far as imprudence is concerned, Severus, I believe I recall the charm you spoke of--didn't we use it, more than once? Maybe you made a mistake--maybe you were wrong about something. Or, maybe, you did this on purpose, was that it? Because I said no, because I wanted to go back to school and do my NEWTs--I know you don't need them but I do--and anyway I am too young to be married, I am still, this was a trap, wasn't it?"

"Are you done?"

"No. But I'll listen if you have anything honest to say for yourself."

"I will need you to be quiet for a moment while I speak; can you do that?"

She nodded.

"My reaction is far from merely clinical, as you say. I am performing necessary protections that you need. As for the contraceptus charm, I performed it correctly. If you read about it--wait--you don't need to believe what I say, it is written is several places. I could not have lifted the charm, Lily. You did it."

She opened her mouth to object.

"Please," he said, "listen. A wizard cannot lift the charm; only a witch, and only under a certain combination of circumstances. The witch must love the wizard, must desire his child, must be thinking these thoughts at the very moment of--"

"No," she said, "this was not ever what I wanted.

He looked up at her with a softened expression. "Four months, Lily. It was the day I asked you to leave with me. It was the day you refused to marry me. And I begged you, and you, you must have thought about it, considered it... Lily, you must have loved me and lifted the charm.

"I don't believe you.

"You do." His eyes bored into hers.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm going to finish school--we both are, and then maybe we'll see if--

"We must both finish now; that is true. But we cannot be together. It is not safe for you, for the child, and for many others.

"What??"

"I love you, Lily. Surely that's not a surprise to you. I love our son. It is my dearest wish that we marry and raise this child together, and more, as many as you want, whatever you want. Everything I wanted before--that we train as healers abroad, that we distance ourselves from this turmoil, I want these things still. I want to give you everything, all that I am, all that I can be, I want your happiness above almost everything, and I want you with me, every day and night. More than any of these things, Lily, I want your safety. And you will not be safe with me.

"I don't understand any of this, Severus. You love me, and I'm pregnant with your baby, and you begged me to marry you and leave everyone I love behind just four months ago, and now you can't be with me? Are you that angry with me for being friends--oh, that's right, incidentally, just friends--with Potter? You are that vindictive?

"I love you. I can ensure your safety. But you must listen to me. You must do as I say, and you must know that I will always love you no matter what happens.

"A war is coming. We all know this, but you cannot know what Slytherin House has become during the past two years. Since Malfoy joined the Dark Lord, Slytherins have a choice after graduation: join the Death Eaters or be killed. Lucius has done the Dark Lord the favor of apprising him of certain of my abilities, and as a result, he is now charged with recruiting me under threat of death--not only his own death, but his family is threatened as well. So he has a great deal of motivation regarding my future employment, as you can imagine.
"We've got to tell Dumbledore. He can protect us. It isn't too late."

"I wish that were true. But you see, even if he can protect us, he cannot protect the Malfoys, or Narcissa Black, who has not eaten in weeks--you know she's in the hospital wing, won't be able to finish her OWLs this year. She's supposed to marry Malfoy after graduation and she's terrified. And Lily, there are so many others. Dumbledore is a most powerful wizard, Lily, but he cannot do everything at once. And I do have ... abilities... I think, that will enable me to gain the Dark Lord's trust, that will help me, eventually, bring about his destruction.

"I'm glad you can do what Dumbledore can't."

"I am not making any such claim. I will need to rely as well on the help of others, especially Dumbledore. But I don't have a choice about joining the Death Eaters after NEWTs.

"And so how will this keep me safe?"

"I'm getting to that--please listen. I will not offer you and this child to the Dark Lord as a means for him to torture me into submission. He will never trust my loyalty if I bring with me my beautiful Muggle-born bride and our baby son. You must stay as far from me as possible. As for the child, there is a way to keep him from harm, but you must agree to cast the charm with me, and only you can lift the charm. I must trust you to wait until the right time.

"There is a charm well known in wizarding families: the stasis charm. It is meant to protect children in utero until a safe home for them can be established. The stasis charm will halt the growth of the child until its mother lifts the charm, or until a legal wizarding marriage is performed. We must do the charm. And you must wait until you marry--it would be safest to marry into a pureblood family; they can protect you best. Even Potter--

"You'd let James Potter raise your child? Won't he be a bit suspicious when he sees nothing of himself in the baby?"

"Let me finish, please, Lily. When the charm lifts after a wizarding marriage ceremony, the child's blood transforms to that of the witch's husband. The child will be your husband's, in every way. As I said, the purpose of the stasis charm is to protect magical children."

"I won't do it. I won't the charm. Or maybe I will, but I won't marry. Fine, you were right. I did--I do love you. I'm that stupid, I guess. But we can't do this. We need Dumbledore's help. There are so many good people who are willing to--

"I am in danger. You will not be part of that danger. Promise me."

"What if I wait--if I wait for you until you've done what you think you must. Even though I disagree. Or maybe I should just go tell McGonagall or Dumbledore all about this stuff."

"I may not be able to return to you, Lily."

Sobbing, the girl knelt on the ground beside him. He folded her into his arms and closed his eyes to stop his own tears. Too soon, he gently pushed her back and looked into her beautiful face.

"Take my right hand with yours," he said gently.

She nodded, and they clasped hands. Together, they performed the charm that would separate them and their child forever.