Maybe Then

The minute Severus Snape opened his eyes he knew it was one of those days. Even if he couldn't see them from his windowless rooms in the dungeons, he could already feel the warm rays of the early morning sun outside. Another lovely summer day with annoyingly happy people. He didn't like lovely summer days and happy people.

He stepped into the shower. Dumbledore had offered a luxurious, big bathroom when Snape moved into his dungeon quarters, but Snape had no use for fancy bubble baths. A nice, efficient shower was enough to suit his needs. With water dripping into his eyes he reached blindly for his shampoo bottle. Empty. Snape cursed under his breath.

Nature had decided to burden him with exceptionally sensitive skin, causing him to develop a nasty rash every time he used store-bought shampoo or soap. Strangely, nothing happened when he was handling potion ingredients, but he didn't get those on his head. His head was the worst and over the years it had gotten to a point when he could only tolerate custom-made shampoo. Shampoo made by Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse. Snape used it sparingly, trying to make the bottle last. He would have been able to mix it himself, but that would have taken away his alibi to see her, something he treasured and feared at the same time.

Snape still remembered the day when he had first seen her. It was at the beginning of his sixth year at Hogwarts. Dumbledore had introduced her at the Welcoming feast. She had come to Hogwarts to finish the last part of her medi-witch training under the supervision of Madam Coltsfoot. Madam Coltsfoot would retire at the end of the school year, leaving the hospital wing under the care of the new nurse. Back then Madam Pomfrey hadn't been much older than the seventh-years, twenty maybe, and Snape hadn't been able to take his eyes of her.

He wasn't the only one. A fair share of the male students fancied her. Poppy was tall and slender, with her raven black hair in a long braid down her back. The braid was gone now, replaced by a tight bun.

Soon older students started to show up in the hospital wing with all sorts of vague health complaints, just to get a chance to ogle the pretty nurse. Poppy didn't seem to notice, she treated everyone in the same businesslike, but friendly, way. Snape could have asked her for advice on his skin problem, but that would have been too embarrassing, so he decided to skip the shampoo, even if his hair turned greasy.

He tried to avoid the hospital wing, afraid to make a fool of himself. Only once, when he was suffering from a persistent cold, the other boys in the dormitory bullied him into seeing her, complaining they couldn't sleep with him coughing and sneezing all night. Thankfully the coughing saved him from talking with her more than necessary, but he couldn't prevent turning bright red when she spoon-fed him a healthy dose of Pepper-up potion.

Once a month Madam Coltsfoot escorted one of the Gryffindor boys, Remus Lupin, to an unknown place outside the school grounds, something that had always sparked Snape's curiosity. Now, with Poppy doing it, the curiosity was mingled with jealousy. What was so special about Lupin that earned him Poppy's attention? He was desperate to find out and when Black had offered to help him, he jumped at the chance. It nearly got him killed. Snape always wondered if Poppy knew the real reason why he followed them that night.

Dressed in fresh robes, his hair dried, Snape glanced at his watch and decided to skip breakfast and visit the hospital wing. Briskly he strode along the corridors with the empty shampoo bottle hidden in a pocket of his robes, occasionally scowling at students.

His heart was beating faster with every step. Why was he getting nervous? He wasn't a schoolboy anymore, they were equal. But what if she was still seeing the awkward student?

The hospital wing was empty and Madam Pomfrey was sitting at her desk, reading the new issue of Herbal Remedies Today, when the door opened and Severus Snape entered. He said "Good morning" and handed her the empty bottle. She took it and went into her storeroom to refill it.

Poppy always wondered why he didn't make the shampoo himself; not that she was complaining. She could still remember the day when she had first seen him, blushing and with steam coming out of his ears from the Pepper-up potion. He was different from the other boys, intriguing. Later she had chided herself for having improper thoughts about a patient. After all, he was a student, even if he was just a few years younger. Madam Coltsfoot would frown about such unprofessional behaviour.

Now he was a teacher, but still... she would be embarrassed if he knew about her feelings. Maybe he would think it was funny, the old school nurse having a crush on him. She returned with the bottle and when he took it back their fingers briefly touched. Poppy averted her gaze. He mumbled a "Thank you" and left. She watched him disappear down the corridor and cursed herself. Why was she such a coward? Would it be so difficult to just ask him some professional question, just to talk with him? With a sigh Poppy returned to her medical journal. He would come back in a few weeks, maybe then.

His heartbeat slowed down again when he had left the hospital wing. Snape wanted to kick himself. He had tried, really. Before he entered he had it all planned out. Taking the bottle. Thanking her. And then casually ask her to have a drink with him at the "Three Broomsticks" sometime to discuss the medical use of bloodroot. But when their fingers touched the plan was forgotten. She would surely think it was amusing: the Potions master, still suffering from schoolboy infatuation. He had to try again next time, when he was running out of shampoo again, maybe then.