Broken

Must you kiss her in front of me?

I mean, I know you don't care how the hell I feel, but just have a little common courtesy.

You made that *perfectly* clear the other day after the Quidditch game.

I was just about to profess my love for you, even though we'd broken up three days before, and then she comes over and you turn away. Like what I was about to say meant nothing. Like I never mattered to you.

It was all a ploy to get her to notice you. I just know it. Maybe that wasn't your intention at the beginning, but I know that you used me to make her jealous.

And I thought that I was your best friend. Or at least one of them.

Well, you are. Don't doubt yourself.

And there she is, in your arms, whispering "sweet nothings" into your ear, you smiling back at her and stroking her hair. Where I should be. Where I wish I could be.

It's obvious that you are in love with Alicia. I'm a fool for not noticing sooner. I made an ass of myself in front of the entire school, going along with your scheme.

Now I know...I know.

I should have noticed your furtive glances at her during the games of Exploding Snap that you, me, and Ron used to play in the Common Room. The way you would flush whenever she even looked your way.

I am such a fool.

You're one of the brightest witches ever to pass through Hogwarts. You're anything but foolish.

And here we are, the three of us plus Ron, Katie, Angelina, and the twins, sitting in the same compartment. Ron and Katie are talking softly in the corner; Angelina, Fred, and George are playing some card game. You and Alicia are snuggling by the window.

The sight of you two makes me sick. She's practically sitting on your lap, her head leaned up against your shoulder. She's holding your hand, while the other runs through yours, making it stick up even more wildly than usual. And your head is resting lightly atop hers, stroking her hair.

The way you used to hold me.

But now I know you never meant it.

Alicia is a nice enough girl, I'll give you that. Or I guess so. I honestly think she's *too* sweet. Almost sickening, but not quiet. And I guess that she's pretty and funny and all the things I'm not.

Athletic and popular.

Great. Now you're kissing. Arms around each other, innocently pecking each other on the lips. Oh, never-mind. Now it's getting more INVOLVED. Open-mouth now? Going to stick your tongue down her throat?

Snogging your new girlfriend in front of your ex. That's smart.

Somebody's bitter.

I just...don't know.

What was wrong with me?

Sure, I'm not pretty or curvy like Parvati and Padma Patil, or as flirtatious as Lavender Brown, or as sweet as Susan Bones. But I am smart, and that accounts for more.

D-E-N-I-A-L.

Face it Hermione. You're in denial.

Why? Why does my heart always get broken? Viktor was first. I thought I loved him, I really did. But then we grew apart, him in Bulgaria and me here in England. He was sweet and everything that I like in a guy. But not you. Nobody could be like you.

Why can't I move on?

You loved him Hermione. You still do.

I'm hanging on...I just can't give up on you.

Even if you don't care about me.

Because I love you, Harry.