- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- Astronomy Tower
- Genres:
- Romance Angst
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Stats:
-
Published: 11/18/2002Updated: 02/13/2003Words: 16,126Chapters: 3Hits: 3,370
Silent Sigh
Aleathiel
- Story Summary:
- Alicia Spinnet loves Oliver Wood. He hasn't noticed. A situation we have all been in. A simple fic following the situation through.
Chapter 03
- Chapter Summary:
- Alicia must confront her feelings for Oliver and then perhaps confront him as well if she is going to decide once and for all how she feels about him
- Posted:
- 02/13/2003
- Hits:
- 739
- Author's Note:
- Blatant AUism in this chapter - There is not Yule Ball in Harry's third year. But it was necessary for my plot, so if you don't like it then hit the 'back' button!
Part Three
Don't you know it's alright to be alone?
You can make it on your own, yeah...
Candy, by Travis
At first Ginny had been reluctant to tell her, but Alicia insisted on knowing what gossip her younger friend was holding back.
"Well, Parvati must have gotten over her George-crush because she is going out with Ernie MacMillan next Hogsmeade weekend..."
"How lovely, now that isn't what you were talking to Hermione about is it?" Alicia teased in exasperation.
"No," the redhead admitted. "No," she repeated quietly.
Oh shit. Oliver has a girlfriend.
"Lavender says Oliver has been writing to her. Just notes tucked in her bag saying hi and stuff... but still."
Lavender! Alicia remembered Oliver's arm around the girl the day Paris had rejected him. I'd much rather it was Paris than Lavender! She's just a little girl!
"Is this rumour or fact?"
"Fact. But she says there is nothing going on. She says he's attractive but she doesn't fancy him."
"Then why did you tell me?"
"I thought you'd want to know."
I do. And it doesn't bother me as much as I had thought it would. Stupid little Lavender. Oh, Oliver.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
"Alicia!" Percy called as she passed by Professor Vector's classroom. She looked over her shoulder and then doubled back as she saw him trying to balance rolls of parchment precariously on the desk. She made it back just in time to steady them before they tumbled to the floor.
"Do you have a minute?" The head boy asked her, brushing his fingers through his red hair and leaving it standing upright in a rather dishevelled manner. It was unusual for Percy to have his hair untidy.
"I will never be up to date with these points scores at this rate because half the professors haven't given me their scrolls," he sighed in exasperation. "Could you bring me the rolls from the classrooms on the fourth floor?"
Alicia shrugged, "Sure..."
"You will need at least one other person to help you carry them and..."
Alicia nodded and headed to the common room to find volunteers. The tower was virtually abandoned except for Angelina and Lee, who were sitting with Oliver at the table playing exploding snap.
"Angelina? Will you help me collect some parchments for Percy? I can't carry them all on my own."
Angelina rose her feet willingly. "Of course. I keep losing anyway! I swear Lee has found a way of cheating. Come on," this was directed to the boys. "You're going to help too."
Lee rose with an exaggerated moan and Oliver followed without a word. They headed to Professor Flitwick's classroom first, where the tiny charms teacher furnished them with several rolls of parchment, which Lee tucked jauntily under his arm. Then they proceeded along to McGonagall's where Angelina and Alicia also collected armloads.
Oliver was whistling under his breath. After a while Angelina turned to him. "Do you have any idea how annoying that is?" she gasped in mock anger.
"I didn't mean to be annoying," he retorted with a grin. "I meant to be adorable and charming! Am I not charming?" he asked Alicia.
She rolled her eyes as she knocked on the next door, relieved not to have to answer.
Not long after this Angelina and Lee disappeared in the direction of Professor Vector's room with the majority of the scrolls, leaving Alicia and Oliver to collect those that were left. Now that they were alone, Alicia couldn't think of anything to say to him. She wasn't about to fill the silence with mindless chatter either.
Gradually what might at first have been awkward silence became more amicable and for the first time in ages Alicia found herself enjoying Oliver's company. They talked about Quidditch and how they were going to win the house cup this year, and about their friends and about how Alicia was not going to fail her exams because she always did really well whatever she thought (Oliver was most insistent) causing Alicia to realise how much she had missed having Oliver as a friend. Yes, there was still some part of her that warmed when he looked at her, that made her smile whenever she heard his name, that told her, as if sensing his presence, where he was in a room without her having to look. But part of her still accepted him as Oliver, the boy she had known before, who had dragged her out to play Quidditch in the pouring rain, who had laughed at her when she made mistakes (but without being hurtful) and who had bandaged her injuries and taken her to Madame Pomfrey. It was reassuring that deep down she could still see this familiar boy, and that it could break through her crush to the surface and allow them just to be. To talk as friends.
Of course this made it twice as bad when they weren't talking.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
She had hoped that he had gotten over whatever had been bothering him and that they were now friends again. Certainly he had behaved as if this was so that morning, and so when Alicia walked through the library in search of Madam Pince and saw Oliver at a table, she gave him a cheery smile.
He grinned back, and Alicia's heart leapt.
Madam Pince was not in her office. On her way back out through the library Alicia paused, impulsively, at Oliver's table. Don't talk to him! Her brain screamed. You will only be hurt if he ignores you. But this was followed by another wave of thought. He needs to know that nothing has changed. That you still see him as a friend. You have probably been acting as uncomfortably around him as he has around you.
"Hey Oliver, have you seen Madam Pince?" Yes, that was nice and neutral.
"Yeah, she went out of the library a few moments ago. She should be back in a couple of minutes I would think."
"Okay, thanks." Walk away...walk away... "What are you studying?" Damn!
"Oh, it's just Transfiguration," Oliver replied dismissively. "It's really boring actually." He smiled and indicated the chair. Alicia sat, somewhat uncomfortably.
He was so sweet. She so badly wanted his friendship back. She almost wished that she hadn't said anything to him about how she felt.
No. She was glad he knew. If they were to be friends he had to accept her as she was.
Alicia peered over his arm at the advanced Transfiguration.
Bored minutes passed in mind-numbing conversation. On Transfiguration, even golden Oliver was boring.
Alicia couldn't help smiling every time he looked at her though, that silly warm feeling still present above her stomach. Oh, I'm so mixed up!
She really needed to see Madam Pince. So she eventually vacated the seat by Oliver with some reluctance and walked over to the door to look down the corridor.
The corridor was empty, but Oliver followed her over to it.
She couldn't help smiling even though she was irritated with the librarian for not being around. Oliver leant against the door casually, as if he wasn't aware of quite how beautiful he was.
He is aware, she told herself. He is very aware of just how nice he is to look at. This made her think of Katie and her declaration of Oliver's conceit. What was it she had called him? An arrogant flirt. Watching him look at her with those lazy, gorgeous eyes, Alicia could almost see what her friend meant.
"What have you said to Katie? Have you and she had an argument?" she asked, neutrally.
"No. What makes you think we have?"
"Nothing." Backtrack fast, this isn't worth pursuing!
"Has she said something about me?" Okay, why is he so bothered? It's as if he can't bear to have anything bad said about him.
"Not really." Shit. Change the subject.
"Alright then."
Silence. I should go. Madam Pince isn't around. This is horrible. I don't want to be standing here with him.
I do want to be standing here with him.
I love being the focus of his attention. I hate being ignored by him. Is that over?
A crowd of younger students passed the end of the corridor. One raised her hand in acknowledgement of Oliver's wave.
Lavender. Do I mention it? Should I let it lie?
"Do you know Lavender?" Oh, right in at the deep end.
"Not really." Should I mention how I know her? It's not what he wants to hear, but he should be warned. "She has a bit of a reputation for men."
Oliver raised his eyebrows. "Well in that case..." he began to walk down the corridor, his twinkling eyes looking back at Alicia for a reaction.
She didn't move, just smiled neutrally at him. If he wants to make a complete arse of himself I will let him, it's none of my business, she tried to convince herself.
She was saved by Madam Pince's appearance around that same corner. With a quick, ambiguous smile at Oliver, she headed straight for the librarian.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Alicia went to breakfast early the next morning. Paris was sitting with Cara at one end of the table. Oliver was sitting with Katie, Adam and George at the other. So, that friendship hasn't survived then? Alicia thought as she walked passed the pretty blonde to join Katie.
Hang on, Katie and Oliver? And chatting away like old friends. This might be an interesting morning.
Alicia didn't feel included in the conversation during breakfast. Eventually she gave up and talked to George, telling herself that she wasn't hurt that Oliver was ignoring her again.
It wasn't until they were walking to their first lesson that Alicia got a chance to talk to Katie.
"I was surprised to see you sitting with Oliver."
Katie smiled. "Yeah, I was kind of surprised myself. He's okay really, when you talk to him. You were right," Katie teased her friend.
Maybe.
How did he do it? He had turned another in his favour!
"I don't know. I'm not sure if I still fancy him. He does seem a bit big headed. I heard Fred and Adam teasing him about fitting through doors, last night."
"He's not that arrogant," Katie defended him.
Okay, it seems like we have turned a hundred and eighty degrees in the last week. Surely I used to be the one defending him from what she said? Oh, what a mess!
"Does Lee have competition then?" Alicia teased, half-heartedly.
"No, of course not." Alicia tried to ignore the relief that washed over her.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
She saw Oliver walking with Lavender between lessons on Tuesday. She watched them, remembering Lavender's declaration the day before that they were 'just friends'.
Hermione materialised behind Alicia, and noticing where the older girl's eyes had been. "They both insist that there is nothing going on," Hermione commented. "In fact, Lavender has agreed to go to Hogsmeade with Dean."
Alicia turned in surprise. "What, as friends? Or as a double date with Parvati and Ernie?"
"Nope. On their own; as a couple."
"Does Oliver know?" Alicia could not help her thoughts running to him. What would he feel if yet another girl turned him down so soon after Paris?
"No," Hermione paused. "Seamus said today that he thought Oliver and Adam were a gay couple."
What? "Oh, come on. The 'gay Oliver' rumours are hardly something new. Just because he is pretty and courteous, has good dress-sense and prefers to hang out with girls. Maybe he just likes their attention! And Adam certainly isn't gay," Alicia ended with conviction.
"I know," Hermione said. "I just said Seamus said that he thought it. I thought you might find it funny."
Alicia's lips quirked into a smile. "It is a bit, isn't it. I would love to see..."
"Oh, don't tell them," Hermione interrupted. "Don't you think it would ruin their friendship?"
Yeah, that's true, Alicia conceded. One thing Oliver very definitely is, is self- conscious.
She couldn't help telling Lorna though, and it spread to Cara, and then to George. Lorna in particular thought it was funny. "Oh poor boys!" she exclaimed. And then added teasingly. "And poor Seamus. He probably fancies one of them!"
For several days that was it, and the humour of it settled down. On Friday, Adam came and sat by her in the window seat.
"What are you doing then?"
"Homework. History of Magic."
"Oh, that's boring! You won't mind talking to me instead, will you?"
Alicia looked up with a mischievous smile. "No, I imagine that I can manage to do that." She let the parchment roll up with a snap. "What do you want to talk about?"
Adam stretched back against the window. "Oh, nothing in particular. Have you heard any interesting gossip?"
"No, not for a while," Alicia answered truthfully, bemused by the conversation, unable to fathom where it was going.
"Nothing about me then?"
Light dawned. "Oh! That!"
"Yes, that. Where did the rumour come from? All I know is some kid in the third year thinks that I am gay."
"No he doesn't. It was a misunderstanding."
"He." Adam pounced on the word. "That narrows it down."
Oh shit. Harry. He doesn't deserve to get involved in this. And those friends of his. Ron. He seems nice too. Argh! How can I dispel this?
"Look, you're talking to the wrong person."
At that moment Hermione descended from the dormitory stairs and crossed the common room and went out. Adam sprang to his feet. "In that case," he said mildly to Alicia. "I will go ask her because she is in the third year."
He followed Hermione out of the portrait hole, Alicia close on his heels. From nowhere appeared Katie and Oliver, following; Oliver fuming.
Katie hurriedly caught up with Alicia. "What's going on?"
"I think they are making this into too big a deal! We need to get them away from Seamus. It was a genuine mistake," she whispered.
By now, the boys, with their longer strides, had found the group of younger pupils and were headed towards them, shouldering through the door like mafia.
Katie rolled her eyes and they sped up.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
By the time they got there, scarcely minutes later, they found, to their enormous relief, that the confrontation was practically over. Oliver still had metaphorical steam coming out of his ears, which amused Alicia, but the misunderstanding seemed sorted. Alicia was almost sorry that she missed it.
Ginny was scarlet with fury, both at Oliver and at Adam, although from the look of things more at Oliver than anyone.
"How dare you come barging in here!" she was shrieking. "Are you just paranoid? If you were comfortable with your sexuality then it wouldn't be such a big issue. Stop over-reacting!"
Alicia felt proud of Ginny for standing up for her friend. I suspect that she has gone over the top now, though, she thought. Katie had apparently had the same thought, and was carefully extracting Oliver and Adam and encouraging them to return upstairs.
Ginny caught Alicia's arm as she turned to follow the three receding backs. Her voice was a whisper. "I think that's dealt with!"
"Yes," Alicia laughed. "You were fantastic!"
"That's not what I meant. But it's all for the best, huh?"
"Not for Seamus. Poor guy." Alicia glanced over at the Irishman, who, it had to be said, did not look terribly shaken.
"He's fine." Ginny lowered her voice conspiratorially. "In fact, he's happy. He got to shake Oliver's hand." If it was possible, her voice dropped even lower. "Seamus fancies him."
Alicia remembered Lorna's joking comment. Oh, she thought, so now he is attracting gay followers as well? This just gets better and better! I just have to extricate myself now.
She closed her eyes, calling up thought of Oliver. Maybe she could just be a friend. She certainly didn't feel as strongly about him as she once had.
I will not be another one of his followers.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Having decided that she did not fancy Oliver any more lifted a weight from Alicia's shoulders. But there was still a wrenching pain whenever he ignored her. The boy could really blow hot or cold and she had no idea how she felt about him, let alone how he felt about her.
It doesn't matter, she told herself. You don't fancy him, remember. So it doesn't matter what he thinks of you.
Of course, it did matter. She wanted her friend back
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Alicia lugged her Arithmancy textbook across the room and dumped it on a table in the library, delving into her bag for ink and a quill, while her other hand struggled to prevent the pile of blank parchments from cascading to the floor. Eventually, she got settled and spread her work out in front of her, and began scratching away, solving the intricate problems.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" Fred asked.
"Course not," she replied by rote, barely glancing at her friend in order not to break her concentration.
He shuffled some papers around distractedly. Alicia ignored him, or at least tried to. She suppressed a sigh of irritation and continued with her work. She had to get this done before next period.
"Um, Alicia," Fred began. She looked up, impatiently. "I saw an article in Quidditch Weekly on the merits of the WindRider. George and I were thinking of asking for new brooms for Christmas. What do you think of the model?"
"I haven't had a chance to read the new issue, it hasn't emerged from your dormitory yet. I'll tell you when I've seen the article."
She put her head back down and continued writing. For a few seconds Fred too worked, then he started talking again.
"I was wondering..."
Oh bugger off, Fred! Can't you see that I am trying to do this Arithmancy? "Yes? What now?" She tried to keep the impatience out of her voice.
"Do you still fancy Oliver?"
"No." The words were out of her mouth before she thought. "No, I don't. Why?"
"No reason, really. Just that you and I never really seem to get the chance to talk anymore."
"I know," she sighed apologetically. "I guess we are both so busy. I really have to get this homework done, Fred. Can we talk later?"
"Yeah sure," he smiled and looked back down at his parchment.
Running her fingers though her hair, Alicia too looked back down and realised that the last two answers she had written were wrong.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
She didn't talk to Fred that evening because he was curled up with Angelina. Another time, Alicia mouthed across the common room at him. He nodded.
So Alicia headed back up to the library to see if she could remedy all the errors in her Arithmancy. She had a further two rolls to complete before the next day. On the way down she almost collided with Professor Snape.
"Miss Spinnet."
"Sir." Pause. "I'm sorry, Sir."
He nodded graciously and began to stride past and up the corridor, when he paused and looked back at her.
"Could you carry a message to Mr Weasley?"
"Which one, Sir? I mean which Mr Weasley."
Snape frowned. "Would you tell Mr George Weasley that I wish to see him about his disastrous essay?"
"Certainly, Sir." Poor George! Maybe I can help him with it; I'm quite good at potions.
Glancing down at the books she was holding, Alicia sighed. Arithmancy would have to wait. She turned and headed back up the stairs to the common room.
On the way she passed her books to Katie and Angelina, who were on the way out of the portrait hole, promising to join them in the library as soon as possible. A quick glance around the room didn't reveal George so she crossed to the staircase to the dormitories.
She paused in the curve of the stairs. She hadn't noticed if there had been anyone sitting in the armchairs below the window but she thought she heard George's voice. As soon as the conversation continued she realised her mistake - it was Fred. She would have continued up the stairs to look for George had she not heard Oliver's warm timbre reply.
Without thinking she stopped and leaned against the wall to eavesdrop. As she had missed the beginning of the discussion it took a few minutes for the subject of the conversation to become clear. They were, of course, talking about girls. Alicia wondered if her name would come up - and what she would do if it did.
"What's happened recently between you and Alicia? You got along so well before."
Alicia could have kissed Fred.
"No we didn't. Not since I found out that she fancies me."
"Oh." Pause. Alicia willed Fred not to drop the subject there.
"I don't think she does fancy you any more." With a smile Alicia remembered the conversation in the library the day before.
"Oh. Well in that case I can be nice to her again."
"Hang on - you weren't being nice to her because you knew she fancied you?"
"Yeah. I didn't want to lead her on."
Alicia waited for the ceiling to crash down on her head. But for some reason the walls held. She waited in vain for the wave of disappointment that she had expected. There was a tiny drop of hurt in her heart but that was all. When had she stopped fancying Oliver? Had she stopped fancying Oliver? She had convinced herself thoroughly. Had it started to be true?
Meanwhile the boys were still talking.
"It seems a bit cruel. You could have just told her that you didn't feel that way about her."
"Maybe I should have done that. I didn't want to hurt her feelings."
Warmth spread through Alicia and she realised she now thought more highly of Oliver than she had for what felt like months.
"You might have hurt her more this way. I don't think you have, but not everyone is as resilient as our Alicia. Not that I have any right to interfere. In fact, I think we've talked about it for long enough. What do you...."
The conversation moved on and Alicia slipped noiselessly upstairs.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
November bled into December and plans were made for the Yule Ball. Dumbledore's announcement that Celestina Warbeck would be coming to sing was greeted with great enthusiasm, and as the date approached Alicia suspected that the boys were just as excited by this proposition as the girls, although they denied it saying the Celestina sung 'girly music'.
The decorations went up the week before everyone left for Christmas. Alicia had always thought that Hogwarts looked best at Christmas. It had snowed the day before the dance and everything was coated with a silver and white sheen. Standing down by the frozen lake and looking up at the castle with all its tiny golden windows was one of the most beautiful things that Alicia had ever done. It looked every bit the fairy tale castle with its turrets and spires and gables.
"Come on!" Katie shouted, pelting her friend with snowballs. "We have to go inside and get ready!"
"What colour are your new dress robes?" Angelina asked, running up on Alicia's other side.
"Blue," Alicia replied.
"Mine are purple," Katie told them as the girls headed up the path towards the warm indoors.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Three enormous pines dwarfed the chairs on the dais, glittering with silver as if it had snowed inside. Indeed, the enchanted ceiling mirrored the heavy clouds outside and silver snowflakes fell in lazy spirals before vanishing barely three feet from the tables.
After the meal, Dumbledore banished the chairs and tables to the sides of the hall. Lights focussed on the dais, music started and Celestina began to sing. Around Alicia people were getting up and dancing. Some couple whirled in each other's arms while others gyrated in groups or independently. Pleasure flooded through Alicia as she saw Katie was sitting with Lee. Maybe he was finally being encouraged in the right direction.
She herself was hauled to her feet and pulled onto the dance floor by Fred and George, their freckled faces grinning and their blue eyes shining. Laughingly she allowed herself to be enveloped into a group of dancers. Angelina drifted into Fred's arms. Alicia spun across to where George was dancing with Paris and Cara. His arm slid around her waist, moving both their bodies in time to the pulsating beat.
Adam and Lorna joined the group as Fred and Angelina went to go get drinks. Alicia's eyes scanned the crowds to find Oliver. Not that she needed to know where he was... she just... wanted to see where he was.
It was a relief to see that he was sitting with Harry, Ron and Ginny. From the boys' animated expressions Alicia knew that they were talking about Quidditch. Again. She caught Ginny's eye and smiled. Ginny beamed back and Alicia broke away from her group and held her hand out to the younger girl.
"Come and dance," she said.
Ginny shook her head. "No, thanks. Maybe in a bit?"
Alicia looked at Harry and suppressed a smile. "Ron. Will you dance?"
Her friends' brother flushed to the roots of his red hair. "Come on," Harry said. "We'll both dance. I'm far worse than you are so you won't have to feel self-conscious!"
As they followed her into the throng of bodies, Alicia sent an apologetic glance back at Ginny. I didn't mean to take him away...
Ron saw where she was looking. "Come on Gin! Oliver! If I'm going to do this I need the moral support!"
Ginny gratefully came over. Oliver shook his head and walked along to where Hermione was dancing with Seamus and Dean. Alicia did not allow her heart to sink. Instead she began to allow the music to take her over, after all, here she was dancing with Harry Potter: many girls would be jealous of that. The younger boy looked up red-faced into her eyes and gingerly put his arms around her.
After a bit Alicia had to admit that she was enjoying dancing with Harry. Although he was not a good dancer, and rather shy, he was also very sweet. But then over his shoulder her eyes found Oliver, his body moulded to Hermione's, his hands hovering barely millimetres from her skin.
I don't fancy him, she told herself as jealousy flared inside her. I don't fancy him. He can dance with whomever he likes! But still that little pain and anger remained, anger at Hermione. The other girl knew how Alicia felt and yet there she was dancing sexily with Oliver...
No! She thinks - she knows - that I don't have feelings for him anymore. Or at least not feelings like that. And it's not as if I have any claim on him even if I did.
Still, seeing that had spoiled her mood for dancing. She pushed Harry gently into Ginny's accepting arms, winking encouragement to her younger friend as she left the dance floor to get a drink.
She headed for the table where George and Lee sat. Angelina was pulling Katie onto the dance floor and Fred was sitting not far away with Adam. Alicia flopped unceremoniously into the chair next to George.
"How's it going?" the boy asked.
"Oh fine. I'm just tired." He accepted this without a word and Alicia thanked the stars for such an understanding friend.
The boys were, as was often the case, discussing the merits of their favourite game. Alicia joined in half-heartedly. After a few minutes Hermione and Ginny came over to pull her back into the dancing. Alicia tried not to mind that Oliver took the seat that she had just vacated, unwilling, it seemed, to continue dancing with a group that included her.
Or maybe he was just tired.
"Having fun?" Alicia whispered to Ginny, close to her ear to make sure that the younger girl heard over the throbbing music. Ginny's eyes shone as she nodded the affirmative.
Plastering a smile onto her face, which gradually became more and more genuine, Alicia threw herself into the melee of dancers, locating Katie and Angelina and joining them.
Now that she was enjoying herself, the time flew past far too quickly and before she knew it, before she wanted it, the music was slowing and weaving its way into the tender melody of the last dance. Alicia found herself once more in George's arms. Resting her head on his strong chest she tightened her arms around his neck. I don't need Oliver.
Oliver. Her eyes flicked quickly across the dance floor - who was he dancing with now?
Then she saw him. He was sitting with Hermione at one of the tables at the side of the Hall, talking and gesturing to the dancers. They weren't dancing. And Alicia could see from the way that Hermione looked at him that she wasn't interested in Oliver. Alicia berated herself for letting jealousy blind her. I'm not jealous.
Her eyes lingered briefly over him, and then she turned and looked up into the gentle, blue eyes of the red-haired boy whose arms held her so tenderly.
No, I don't need Oliver, she repeated.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Sometime later the music had ended and the party-goers were filing from the hall and up the dark, cold corridors to their respective rooms.
"Wasn't that fun!" Katie exclaimed.
Alicia grinned a response, carefully not looking at Lee. "Yes," she agreed. "It was." And then, giving into temptation, glanced over at the dark boy, who, she saw to her relief, was smiling back at Katie.
"We should do it again," Alicia said.
"Yeah," agreed George.
"I was thinking of having a party for my birthday in January," Katie told them. "Mum says that I can use the house in Hogsmeade as long as I promise to tidy up afterwards."
"We'd help with that," Angelina told her. "Let's do it!"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
In the month before the party, Alicia hardly saw Oliver. They had both been home for the holidays and even when back in school they didn't spend much time together. She didn't intentionally avoid him, nor did she think that he was avoiding her, but their paths rarely crossed. When they did, they would acknowledge each other with a polite "Hello," and a smile. Thankfully, Quidditch seemed back to normal, with Oliver treating her the way he did the others, if a little more distantly that he used to. Somehow Alicia didn't mind. It didn't hurt anymore, or at least not very often. She still felt a flare of envy when she saw him with his arm draped casually around Lavender or one of the other younger girls, and mild irritation when he crossed the room to talk to Katie without including her, but when he wasn't around he no longer haunted her thoughts and her eyes no longer searched a room for him every time she came through a door.
The night of Katie's birthday was mild, considering that it was January. Alicia, Angelina, Fred and George had been to Hogsmeade that afternoon to buy a present and had carefully wrapped the silver bracelet and tucked it into the box in between the fluffy hand puppets. Fred had at first been horrified at the idea of giving Katie stuffed toys, but Angelina had convinced him that girls really did like that kind of thing.
Most of Gryffindor Tower was turning out to the party, along with smatterings of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. Alicia and George were among the last to arrive, Fred and Angelina having gone over earlier to help with the decorations.
"Happy Birthday, dear!" Alicia exclaimed, pulling her friend into a hug, before presenting her with the carefully wrapped box. Katie opened it, thanking her friends, and exclaiming at the tiny snitch-shaped confetti that fell out of the box as she opened it. Angelina crossed the room, two bottles in her hand. She passed one to Alicia.
"We have gone for the muggle touch in this party. No magic allowed! We have alcohol and we already know how badly the two mix..." she glanced ruefully in the direction of her boyfriend who had been known to send more than a few angry curses while drunk.
"That's fine. It makes sense," Alicia agreed. "Has everyone arrived?"
"Um... pretty much I think. Ginny and one of her friends aren't here yet. Actually we should keep a look out for them because they are the youngest people invited and I think coming in here might be a bit daunting."
"Sure. I'll hang out near the door for a bit if you like."
Angelina agreed to come over a bit later to wait in Alicia's place. As her friend walked over to join Fred on the area that had been cleared for dancing, Alicia turned to have a look at the presents Katie had been given.
It was only after half an hour or so had passed that she began to wonder where Ginny and her friend were. Alicia crossed to the door and stood looking out into the dark. A voice close behind her made her jump.
"What are you looking for?" It was Oliver. His words were already slightly slurred with alcohol.
"Ginny will be here in a minute and Angelina and I thought that there should be someone to meet her. She hasn't been to a party like this before, but she has become a good friend of ours, so Katie invited her."
"That's nice." Oliver said neutrally. "Why don't we wait outside so we can see them coming?"
We?
It wasn't too cold, so Alicia joined him outside. The chilled air was surprisingly refreshing after the heat and loud music inside. Oliver leant against the door, which creaked uneasily under his weight. Alicia walked a little way out away from the house. Oliver moved as if to follow her but his walking was unsteady and he had to brace himself against the wall.
Alicia looked at him. "How much have you drunk?" she asked him. He can't have been here much more than an hour!
"I'm really not sure," Oliver laughed.
Alicia raised her eyebrows but said nothing. She turned back to look along the road. Two figures, lit by two illuminated wands, were approaching.
"Hey, Gin!" Alicia called, grateful for their arrival. Staying out there with Oliver could have been awkward, not to mention raising some questions inside.
As the three girls passed him to go inside again, Oliver gave them a charming grin. "I'm just holding up this wall, don't mind me," he told Ginny, laughingly. Ginny rolled her eyes at Alicia. They laughed.
For a while after that Alicia forgot about Oliver. She and George were standing with Katie and Ginny near the presents when she next saw him. He had come over, slightly more able to walk, Alicia noticed, but certainly no more sober.
"Do you like your presents?" he asked Katie.
"Yes, of course!" she replied. "Have you seen these cute puppets?" she put one on her hand and have the other to Alicia who did likewise. They waved their tiny paws at the other three. Oliver leant in towards Alicia, taking one of the tiny fluffy paws delicately between his finger and thumb and shaking it. "Pleased to meet you," he teased.
Alicia made the puppet squeak its greetings. At this point Angelina came to drag Katie away to settle an argument. Alicia turned away as her friends went and began to talk to Ginny. "Are you drinking?"
"No, Ron said he would kill me if I got drunk."
"He isn't much older than you though is he?"
At this point Alicia was aware that Oliver was still engrossed in the puppet, stroking its head and back. As she turned to look at him he pulled it to his face, allowing the smooth fur to run along his cheek. Alicia snatched her hand back, pulling the puppet off and putting it into the box. "Hey, don't forget that my hand was inside that," she said lightly. Oliver paid no attention to her and she wasn't sure if her words registered.
Sometime later Alicia was returning from the kitchen with a drink for herself and a glass of pumpkin juice for Ginny, when something brushed against her shoulder. She turned in surprise to find herself face to face with the small furry puppet on the end of a familiar arm. Ginny laughed at the expression on Alicia's face. Alicia decided to ignore Oliver and the puppet and tried to initiate a more normal conversation with her friend, but the small furry thing kept poking over her shoulder and making Ginny giggle.
Oh how old are you Ginny!? Well ok, she's only twelve. And it is probably funny. The ridiculousness of the situation hit her as she thought this and she choked laughter into her drink. Ginny caught her eye and tried once more to maintain a straight face. She stepped backwards and collided with a small table on which was standing the box that the puppet had been wrapped in. Cascades of tiny golden-snitch confetti spilled out onto the table. Ginny scooped some up in her hand and held it out to Alicia.
"Where did you find this? It's great!"
"In that shop in Hogsmea.." she stopped, aware that the puppet was no longer on her shoulder, but sliding across her arm and perilously close to her breast. She moved sideways hurriedly.
He may have forgotten that my hand was in that thing - but I know his is there!
"I.. um... yeah, in Hogsmeade," she finished hastily. Eyeing Oliver warily she swallowed a mouthful of her drink before realising that there was a bit of confetti floating on the surface. She lifted it out with her finger.
Then she looked at Ginny, and saw a gleam in Ginny's eye as the younger girl glanced at the drunken Oliver and then at the confetti in her hand. The idea that had just hit Alicia was clearly striking Ginny too.
Oh this is too cruel! part of Alicia protested. But her alcohol-fuelled mischievousness won out.
She took a single piece of the confetti from Ginny and lifted her finger to Oliver's lips. He obediently swallowed it. Ginny collapsed in giggles. So Alicia did it again. This time Oliver accepted the tiny bit of foil, but instead of swallowing, he picked it out of his mouth with his fingers and peered at it.
"What are you doing to me?" he asked in drunken confusion, just enough consciousness left to be aware of what was going on, without processing it.
The girls looked at each other and burst into laughter. Oliver wandered away looking irritated.
"We shouldn't have done that," Alicia gasped through her laughter, collapsing onto a chair. "Oh!... I'm drunk!"
Ginny's eyes were crinkled in mischief. "But not that drunk," Alicia amended. "You can't talk me into doing something stupid!"
"Okay," Ginny smiled. "How about dancing? Is that 'something stupid'?"
Alicia laughed. "No."
The two girls crossed to where the furniture had been cleared aside to make a dance floor. Katie came dancing over and included them in the group. The heated music flooded through Alicia's veins, and she forgot everything and danced. Later she wouldn't remember, but Katie told her that she danced with Oliver.
Oliver could hardly stand and Alicia found him a chair and brought him a glass of water. She stayed with him a while, forcing him to drink, then relinquished this duty to Fred and returned to the dance floor.
Some time later, when she was hot and tired and her feet hurt, she went and got another drink and settled on a chair to cool down a bit. She looked around the room at her friends. Ginny was sitting with Ron and Harry, a happy smile lighting her face whenever Harry spoke to her. Angelina had been dancing with Adam and Fred was angry, slamming the door as he stormed out and cracking the glass. Katie was upset, sitting on the sofa, fighting back tears. Alicia started to go over to her friend, when Lee sat down next to the other girl, putting a comforting arm around her. Alicia decided that he would be a far better remedy than she would.
Then she saw Oliver. He was slumped in a big armchair with Seamus sprawled across his lap. It was more than Alicia could do to resist the temptation to tease Oliver, to irritate him.
She knew that he would be angry, indignant, but she wanted to do it all the same.
Standing in front of the boys she made some gentle, teasing comment about the rumour being true. Seamus sprung to his feet. "What do you mean?" he asked, laughing.
Alicia looked straight at Oliver although she was answering Seamus. "Oliver is gay, then," she said tauntingly.
Oliver sat up. "I'm not," he said vehemently.
Alicia's eyes were still locked with his. She knew what she was doing. Then why are you doing it?
"Prove it," she said, trying to goad a reaction.
Even knowing that it would provoke a reaction, she was surprised when it did. Oliver leant forward quickly, took hold of her chin and pulled her lips to his, his insistent tongue invading her mouth.
It took the length of time it took for her to think Oh my God, Oliver is kissing me! before her brain screamed, this is wrong! and she pulled away.
So wrong. So wrong.
But she had to admit it was worth it. Worth it to know, now once and for all.
She walked away from him. She doubted if he would remember in the morning, but she would. If he didn't remember she wouldn't mention it. It would only make everything more awkward. And it didn't matter, because it hadn't changed anything between them.
Except of course it had changed everything.
She knew now that she didn't want Oliver.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Author Notes:
So there we are: we have reached the end. Except, of course, it isn't the end because life goes on, but unless anything particularly interesting happens, this is where I will put my last full-stop - without the intention of writing a sequel.
It turned into a story of 'getting over the boy' instead of 'getting the boy'. I suppose that is both more realistic and more common. When I started, I didn't know where it was going.
For those of you who don't already know, or haven't guessed, the story is based on actual people and incidents. Although in places in this chapter I gave up on the 'accurate dialogue' thing I had been trying to stick to in the other chapters. In some cases I just couldn't remember, and in others I changed it because I had so much to get in this chapter. I didn't want to break it up into several, I wanted to get this done.
I had meant to finish it in time for my friend's birthday - as you can see from the dedication - and was going to end it after the Yule Ball. But now I am glad that I didn't because writing in that party brings the story to a better and far more satisfactory ending.
So now that I have bared my foolish heart for your entertainment, the least you can do is to review!
Apologies to the real 'Oliver', who shall remain nameless. I haven't always shown you in the best light - but then I haven't always seen you in the best light either and that is as much your fault as mine.
Not that I am ever planning on allowing you to read this anyway!