Monotony

Part 1:

It was the relationship he had always dreamed of, so why was he so damned unhappy? He sat in bed and watched his wife of only three years sleeping, her back slowly rising and falling with each breath. He loved her; there was never a doubt about that, but lately something seemed to be missing from their relationship.

She was so young compared to him. It had been a point of contention for a long time, with her mother in particular. Ginny was a woman by the time Remus' feelings had changed from those of friendship to love, but that didn't stop Molly Weasley from believing that he had stolen her baby girl.

That's not to mention the reaction of their friends. Remus had hoped that they would be accepting, but even that had not gone well. Harry's reaction had been the worst by far; apparently he had always figured Ginny would be waiting when he got ready to settle down.

Remus took a lock of Ginny's coppery hair and twirled it between his fingers. It was as fine as spun silk and felt foreign against his roughened skin. As he twirled it absentmindedly, he remembered the first time his fingers had been entwined in her fiery locks.

The war was nearing its climax. The Order was working overtime to just keep up with the number of Death Eater attacks, yet everyone was adamant that Ginny stay behind. It was stupid, really. She had fought in many of the proceeding battles; from the time she was fifteen if truth was told.

Remus had come back to headquarters from his assignment to find it virtually empty. He really didn't mind; it would give him time to unwind and collect his thoughts. He had walked into the kitchen to grab something to drink and almost didn't notice the little redheaded witch seated at the table with her head buried in her arms.

Remus hadn't spent much time with Ginny; actually, he realized he barely knew her. He had been her Defense Against the Dark Arts professor during her second year at Hogwarts; she had been around since the Order had moved headquarters to Grimmauld place, just before she started her fourth year. He now found it odd that he still did not know her very well.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked as he approached the young witch cautiously. He may not have known her well, but he knew the Weasleys well enough to know that you don't want to be on the wrong end of their wand.

She peered up with tired eyes. Tired, blood-shot eyes that looked as though they had been crying. Something terrible had happened. "Ginny? What's wrong?"

She looked at the man now seated next to her as though she couldn't believe he didn't know. How could he have not? "There was another attack," she finally managed, her voice hoarse from crying.

He watched her, waiting for her to continue, but she simply returned her head to her arms. Her shoulders shook slightly, revealing the sobs she was so desperately trying to conceal. Call it an impulse, or even instinct, that caused him to reach out and touch her softly shaking shoulder.

She looked at him again with a mixture of grief and relief, relief that she didn't have to continue to carry the burden alone. "Mc...Gon...a...gall," she finally cried out, "and..."

McGonagall was dead? Remus could hardly process that bit of information. She had been his Head of House when he was in Hogwarts some twenty-plus years ago. Then he realized that Ginny wasn't done and awaited the next blow. He noticed the tears now freely streaming down her paled cheeks.

"...and my dad."

Without a moment hesitation, he pulled the sobbing girl into his chest. Arthur Weasley, gone. It was all too much to fathom, and they had only been his friends and mentors; it was her family. Remus couldn't imagine the pain the young woman burrowed in his chest was feeling. His war calloused fingers entwined in the red silk as he held her close to him, trying to absorb her pain.

Ginny rustled beside him on the bed, bringing Remus out of his thoughts. He withdrew his hand quickly and watched as she settled again. She turned toward him, her face buried in a tangle of hair.

He chuckled slightly and gently swiped away the offending locks so he could admire her. It had been like a ritual when they were first married; he would try to imprint the pattern of her freckles in his mind, but each night they seemed to change, always remaining a mystery. He hadn't done that in a long time.

She gently reached over and rested her arm across his lap, seeking him even in sleep. He wondered if she had felt the strain too. As she gently nestled up to him he stroked her hair in a calming fashion, his mind once again wandering to days past.

The funeral of Arthur Weasley had been attended by most of the wizarding world, Remus noted. He and Harry sat with the rest of the Weasleys; they were family after all. Penelope held her and Percy's baby on her lap as Percy looked on in disbelief. Bill and Charlie were desperately trying to calm an unnerved Molly, and Fred and George sat idly by with Angelina and Katie. Hermione had her head rested on Ron's shoulder as they conversed with Harry quietly, but Ginny seemed to be alone. Alone amongst hundreds of people, Remus noted. Harry looked her way, but quickly reverted his attention back to his conversation with Ron and Hermione.

She hadn't cried since the night he had found her in the kitchen of Grimmauld place. She looked so hollow, so empty, and so lost. Ginny felt eyes upon her, and turned to find Remus watching her intently. He got up and closed the distance between them.

"How are you holding up?" he asked her with a placid smile.

"As well as any," she answered, not even bothering with the niceties.

"Ginny, if there is anything I can do," Remus continued.

"Can you make this war end before we loose anyone else?" she snapped, her nerves worn thin. "Before someone else looses a husband, a father, a brother, or a friend?"

He understood her sharpened words. They were her last line of defense. "I wish I could," he finally said, never removing his hazel eyes from her.

She bowed her head, almost in defeat. "I'm sorry, Remus, I had no right."

It had been the first time he ever remembered her calling him by his first name, and the sound of it coming from her pleased him, even under current circumstances.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Nothing Love," Remus whispered, "go back to sleep."

"Mmmm," she purred as she stretched. "Trying to memorize my freckles again?"

He laughed, surprised that she remembered. "No, just thinking."

Aware that her husband was keeping something from her, Ginny pushed herself so she was sitting next to him on their bed. "About what?"

He looked over at her with a glint of mischief. "About you, actually."

"Oh that can't be good," she laughed, lacing her small, slender hand with his larger one. Remus traced around the edge of her hand with his finger. There was a long silence.

"Are you happy?" he finally asked, searching her face for something, although he wasn't quite sure what.

Ginny froze as her mind mulled over why her husband would have just asked her that. The only logical explanation she could reach was that he was unhappy and wanted out of their marriage. Her breath hitched and she quickly withdrew her hand from his.

"You're not?" she finally managed to utter, strain evident in her normally melodic voice.

Remus sighed. He should have never asked her that, but it was too late to back out now. "I'm not sure."

Feeling very vulnerable in the bed she shared with Remus, Ginny put as much distance between them as possible. "What are you trying to say?"

"Not what you think I'm trying to say," he managed. "It's just lately things seem to be... to feel... different."

Ginny knew what he meant, she had felt it too, but could never quite identify it. His touch hadn't sparked the thrill it once had, his kiss wasn't as passionate, even making love to him almost seemed... routine. A single tear streaked her cheek, feeling helpless to fight whatever was about to come.

He knew what she was thinking; that he was trying to tell her they were through, even though that was the farthest thing from his mind. They had been through too much and fought too hard to simply be together to toss it aside without a fight. He reached over to gently wipe the tear from her cheek, but she moved out of his touch. That single action nearly destroyed him in that moment.

"Don't touch me," she hissed out, trying hard to cover the pain she was feeling.

"Ginny, please, it's not what you think," he pleaded, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as well.

Part 2:

Ginny hadn't waited to find out what Remus had really meant. Feeling hurt and betrayed, she went to stay with her mother at the Burrow. Molly had been against the relationship from its onset, and would use this opportunity to put as much distance between her daughter and Remus as possible.

Remus attempted for days to owl or Floo Ginny, but every owl was returned and Molly would never let him speak to Ginny.

Ginny spent most of her time sitting in the room of her childhood thinking about what could have possibly gone wrong, and where. She was hurting because she thought that Remus would have come after her, but he hadn't. As far as she knew, he hadn't even sent an owl.

"You should march right down to the Ministry tomorrow and end that marriage of yours," Molly encouraged Ginny over dinner.

"I don't want to end my marriage," Ginny sighed as she pushed mashed potatoes from one side of her plate to the other.

"Well why not? Ginny, he's a werewolf for goodness sake," Molly continued, thinking that she was being motherly, not meddlesome. "Not to mention that he's twenty-one years older than you are, Ginny. Twenty-one years! What can you two possibly have in common?"

"Mum," Ginny started, "we've been through this a million times. I love him, and he loves me. At least I thought he loved me."

"There, you see," Molly agreed, figuring her point had been made. "You aren't even pregnant yet, Ginny. Don't you want children?"

"I'm not you, Mum," Ginny said matter-of-factly. "We want children, but we are just waiting for things to settle from the war. And we've been fighting really hard for this new werewolf legislation that will lift some of the bans. Remus could work for the Ministry then if he wanted."

Molly sat down heavily in the chair across from her daughter, and eyed her carefully. "Why do you love him so much, Ginny?" she asked with new sincerity.

Ginny stared at her mother like she had just sprouted a second head, then momentarily wondered where the real Molly Weasley had gone. "I just do."

"You'll have to do better than that, young lady," Molly chortled slightly.

Ginny paused for a long moment. "He sees me for who I am, Mum. He never judged me for the Chamber of Secrets, he was there for me when Dad died, he's never looked at me as 'just another Weasley'."

"I've seen the way he looks at you," the Weasley matriarch muttered.

"And just how is that, Mum?"

Molly was surprised by the question, not even realizing she had uttered the statement out loud. She contemplated her answer; attempted several times to give a response, then looked at her unhappy daughter, and quickly closed her mouth. "He adores you, Ginny," she finally admitted.

"Then why hasn't he tried to owl me?" Ginny practically cried. "I think there's someone else."

Molly finally resolved herself to help her daughter through this. "Remus has sent numerous owls, and I've sent them all back."

"You did what?" Ginny shouted with a mixture of anger and relief in her voice.

"Now calm down, Ginny," her mother continued, "I was only doing what I thought was best, but now I realize that Remus is probably best for you."

"Mum, how could you?"

"You came to me with a broken heart, I only wanted to help mend it," Molly stated matter-of-factly. "So what exactly was it that you two were fighting about when you left?"

Ginny sighed. She hardly wanted to recount the night to herself, let alone to her mother. "He asked me if I was happy."

"And are you?" Molly asked earnestly.

"Well," Ginny started, "I'm not unhappy. Things have just been... I don't even know the right word for it."

"Routine?" Molly asked with a gleam in her eye and a small smile quirking on her face. "Has life with Remus just become too monotonous? No more sparks when he kisses you? No more tingles when he touches you?"

Ginny was shocked. "How did you know?"

Molly smiled knowingly, "Ginny, that's what happens after awhile. It doesn't mean he loves you any less or you love him any less, it means you are comfortable together. It means that you need to work on keeping the spice in your relationship now."

"Did you and Dad ever get that way?" Ginny asked naively.

Now it was Molly's turn to blush. "Why do you think we had seven children?"

Part 3:

Remus sat at the table in the kitchen considering ways to get Molly to let him talk to Ginny when he heard the front door open gently. "Ginny?" he called out hopefully as he went to investigate.

The moment he turned the corner from the kitchen, Ginny dropped her bags and lunged into his arms. "I'm so sorry," she whispered as he embraced her tightly, as if to never let her go.

"Don't ever leave me again," he whispered, drinking in her scent, her warmth, and her presence. "You never let me explain."

"I was afraid that you were going to say it was over," she admitted, feeling like such an insecure child.

He pulled away from her, gazing deeply into her chocolate eyes. "I thought you knew me better than that."

"But when you asked me if I was happy, then you said that you weren't..."

Remus sighed and gave his wife a tired smile. "I didn't say I wasn't, you never let me finish."

"I know," she said. She looked utterly guilt ridden, which was not Remus' intentions or desire. "I'm sorry."

He kissed her forehead gently before relinquishing his hold on her. "Me too," he said as he reached down and retrieved her bags. She followed him into their bedroom, and watched as he sat her bags down next to the foot of the bed. He sat down and motioned for her to come to him. Ginny sat next to him on the foot of their bed, and wrapped her fingers with his.

"I'm surprised your mum didn't talk you into divorcing me," Remus said with a hint of resentment in his voice.

"Well, she did mention it," Ginny smirked. "But she's also the one who told me to get my married arse back home to you."

Remus snorted in disbelief. "Sure she did."

She cupped his unshaven cheek in her hand and turned it so he was looking at her. His hazel eyes looked old beyond his years, a sure sign he had been upset by the separation.

"Remus," Ginny started seriously, "I know that us being together created a rift in whatever relationship you had with my mum before, and I'm sorry for that. But she really did give me a good bit of advice."

"And what was that?" he asked skeptically.

"Well," she began with a hint of a smile playing on her lips, "she said that what we are going through is normal."

This statement caught Remus off guard. They hadn't discussed anything so he had no idea what Ginny viewed as the problem in their marriage. "And exactly what is it you told her we were going through, Mrs. Lupin?"

"I guess I told her that things had just gotten too... routine," Ginny answered as if she were a trained psychologist.

"Is that so?" Remus grinned at his wife. "And what were Mum's words of wisdom on the subject?"

Rather than reply, Ginny pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss. He groaned against her mouth as she forcefully knocked him backwards on their bed. His one hand gripped the mass of coppery locks as the other snaked around her tiny waist. She growled playfully as she nipped at his lower lip, then move on to tantalized his neck and earlobe.

"So basically you're saying we've fallen into a rut?" Remus asked, trying desperately to fight off his urge to give into his wife. She had, after all, just left him for practically a week, and it seemed to him that they really should discuss what had happened.

Ginny laughed and fell beside him on the bed. "Yes, isn't that what you think?"

Remus thought as he pulled her up next to him and rested his chin on the top of her head. She snuggled into him as he contemplated. "Well that's a good way to put it, I suppose. So what did your mother suggest?"

"Shagging on the kitchen table," Ginny was able to say without falling into a fit of laugher. "But I told her we've already done that."

Remus quirked an eyebrow as he looked down at his wife nestled into his arms. He chuckled slightly at the thought of her discussing their sex life with her mother, although he was certain he wouldn't be able to look Molly in the eye for a very long time to come. "So did she have any other suggestions?"

This time Ginny burst out laughing. "The loo."

Remus gave her an incredulous look. "The loo? Do you seriously want me to believe that your mother suggested we shag in the loo?"

"Well, I guess that's how Percy came into being," Ginny finally blushed. "Charlie was the kitchen table."

A slow smile crept across Remus' face as he finally caught on to the gist of the conversation. "So where were you conceived?"

"The Ford Angelia," Ginny grinned.

Remus got up off the bed before offering his hand to his wife. She gave him a quizzical glance as she allowed herself to be hoisted up off the mattress. Once Ginny was standing beside him, Remus grazed his wife's lips with his own. "I love you," he whispered as he swept her up off her feet and began to carry her.

"Remus Lupin! Put me down this instant!" she yelled although she was laughing. When she figured her struggle was for not, she looked up at her husband who was smiling wolfishly. "Where are you taking me?"

"The loo, of course!"