With You

With You.

"I woke up in a dream today

To the cold of the static/and put my cold feet on the floor.

Forgot all about yesterday

Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore.

A little taste of Hypocrisy,

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake/slow to react.

Even though you're so close to me.

You're still so distant and I can't bring you back."

I know you're never truly with me. We are so close, you're always at my side but unlike me you're never there mind, body and soul.

You're never there with heart.

I can sense the absence of love.

There's a gaping hole that separates us and though my love tries to fill it, your absence makes it larger.

Your never really with me, your with him. In your mind you're always with him. He's the one who has your love, even if he doesn't return it. But your love for him is like mine for you; its so strong it cannot be broken, so I know I can't bring you back.

You love him, I love you and he loves someone else. I always thought that your relationship with him was hatred, I suppose towards the end of the school days I saw something else in your eyes when you looked at him, though I refused to believe it.

I see no point.

I remember at first when I thought you loved me, I was blinded but I pretend I'm back then, I pretend that I still think you love me.

"It's true/the way I feel,

What's promised by your face,

The sound of your voice

Painted on my memories,

Even if you're not with me,

I'm with you,"

It's a lie.

But I refuse to believe it fully.

I've put so much into this relationship, my heart cannot break away, and my love is too strong.

An eternal flame, never to be extinguished even if you refuse to help it burn. Even if you don't even try to love me, even if you try to hide it.

Why do you stay with me? Why not end it?

The distance is growing so why don't you follow the true path of your heart? Or do you care that if you did that, it would break mine?

"You/now I see/keeping everything inside,

You/now I see/even when I close my eyes,"

Can't you see the pain it causes me? Not to know the man I loved all my life, the man I adored, the man I saw each night when I closed my eyes, blocks me out?

Refuses to love me but says he does. I know you love him, why lie to me? You know I know.

Do you know how much it hurts, seeing his eyes glaze over with passion as he thinks of another and hearing him breathe another's name?

And yet what can I do? Those blue-grey eyes still melt me to the ground.

Am I afraid to break of the relationship?

Of course I am my love still lives, my love is my life, you are my life. Yet I know that you wish this marriage to end, because you do not love me.

It's a one-way relationship I refuse to hit an end.

You keep everything inside, you block me out, it seems I am the only person giving in this relationship.

"I hit you and you hit me back we fall to the floor and the rest of the day stands still,

Fine line between this and that,

When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real.

Now I'm trapped in this memory.

And I'm left in the wake of the mistakes/slow to react.

Even though you're so close to me.

You're still so distant and I can't bring you back,"

Was this all a mistake? I think it was, our marriage was a mistake. I hate to believe it but it was.

My heart aches and my mind is filled with rage as before and after the wedding I was blinded by love.

Not yours, I realize you had none for me.

You were probably forced into this marriage by your father.

You were always quick to answer to Lucius's demands. I'm alone really, you're so close physically but in reality you're never with me.

I'm trapped in this marriage, as I know you're always with him. My heart wants me to stay, but if we are together any long I will drown in my pain.

You're always with him, never me, always with him. Even if he's married now, to Ginny.

I remember when you found out about their marriage, how you forced a laugh and spluttered:

"So Potter's finally married."

Your eyes were blazing with more passion and love and pain than I had ever seen.

And I was furious with Harry because of your feelings.

Still, I could not destroy my love for you. I tried to ignore your feelings for him for a little time. I tried to pretend that he didn't even exist, you made that impossible each time you looked at me, each time your absent eyes glanced at me, your wife...Pansy.
I didn't really exist to you.

I always loved, and always will.

Perhaps some day you will realize he will never love you. And you will replace the love for him with the emptiness you have for me.

My love is too much.

But so is my pain, my heart still loves you, Draco, so I'll live on in pain waiting for that day to come or for the day of my death.

I will always be with you; my heart will always be yours for when you finally accept it.

I will always be there; my love will keep me there.

"No

No matter how far we've come,

I can't wait to see tomorrow with you."