One Note, Draco, Before I Kill You

One note, Draco, Before I Kill You

By Ahmergin Resinia.

It hurts, you know?

Knowing that we could have had it all, if he hadn't gotten in the way.

It hurts me to know, that I was so close to you once.

It hurts to remember you broke my heart.

It still hurts, Draco, and will forever more. That's why things have to change.

Nothing hurts you, you're invincible, you're a Malfoy. You've got him at your side, the boy who lived, nothing can get passed him.

You're not alone.

I am.

I've always been alone, after that night. It's probably hard for you to imagine what you really did to me.

What were just a few simple words for you was the end of a life worth living.

You tore me apart, took what was inside me, left me empty for the rest of my time.

I don't think I'll be here long anymore, I've decided what I'm going to do after I kill you.

It was something I was so close to doing that night of the Seventh Year Ball at Hogwarts.

Remember that? I went with you.

We were a perfect couple.

We had been since fourth year. I felt alive around you. Now my life is like death: silent and empty.

Nothing but you will make me feel alive again.

I doubt that will ever happen; he keeps you away from me.

I remember when you led me to the Astronomy Tower, that smirk, that adorable smirk still plastered on your face. Looking as handsome as ever in deep blue robes.

You looked perfect and I remember thinking we'd be together forever.

Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy, together, forever. How wrong I was.

You tore me apart, shattered my dreams and sent me into living death.

'Pansy,' you had said. 'I love someone else, I love Harry.'

That was the end, I knew it, I dreaded it but I still knew.

I'd given up my life for you; I was and still am devoted to you, even though you hurt me.

My devotion is why I have to kill you.

The thing that really hurt me was the way you said it, simple, flat toned, the normal Draco-drawl.

As if you didn't care that inside you were killing me, as if you were trying to hurry along, as though the last three years with me, loving me, were absolutely nothing.

You had no emotion on your face, in your eyes, just that smirk that I suddenly hated.

And then you left as if you couldn't stand being in same room with me any longer.

You hurried off, obviously to Harry, that green-eyed freak you had told me you hated.

You probably heard me cry, heard me scream in agony, but you did nothing.

It hurt, Draco, hurt more than you would ever think.

The pain nearly suffocated me.

I'd loved you since we had first met. I'd tried so hard to make you even notice me.

And when you asked me to the Yule Ball, when we started going out, didn't you realise, that I felt like I was in Heaven?

I was so happy.

So happy...

But then it ended, just like that.

And then I ended.

I remember the wind stinging my cheeks, my icy tears dropping to the floor.

I remember climbing onto the stonewall, glancing at the sky, through the whispery clouds of the winter sky.

I remember sitting on that wall, getting ready to jump off, to fall through the coldness and land on the pure white snowy ground.

That's how much you meant to me, how much you made me hurt.

I wanted you to feel pain, be torn apart like I was, when you found me dead.

Deep down I knew you were too in love with Harry to care about me anymore.

So I clambered off that wall, in a dream-like state, hoping some day before we graduated you'd come back to me and love me again.

Draco, it never happened.

I lived in pain and still am.

But that pain will end when I kill you, Draco, when I make sure you feel the pain like I did and still do. I'm only doing this because I love you.

When I kill myself too, we'll be together again and Harry Potter won't be there to interfere.

When we graduated I couldn't let you go with a snap of my fingers or a wave of my wand.

Love just doesn't go away, it lingers and I lingered around you. You didn't see me, I kept to the shadows.

The feeling of some one following you...you blamed that on you being paranoid...it was me.

I heard you and Harry are living together and it tore me apart again.

I found out where you live, Draco, and tonight I pull the plug.

Tonight I destroy my pain and in doing so, I'll destroy you...