See if I Care

See if I Care

Author: Aftertaste of a Razorblade

Go ahead. Ignore me. Be a bitch. Just see if I care. That always makes you feel even bitterer. That sentence, that cliché, just see if I care. You know that she´ll never see if you care, because she doesn´t see much of you at all. And she doesn´t care if you care.

Ha, ha. Joke´s on you, Padma. See if I care. But Parvati doesn´t care if you care. Not even one little tiny bit. She doesn´t even know you anymore. Ha, ha.

Not a funny joke. But see if I care!

See if you care. See if you care. You know you do care, but that only makes it even worse that she doesn´t. Doesn´t know you. Doesn´t remember you. Doesn´t care if you care and never has, because when it really comes down to it she doesn´t care.

To think you loved her once!

To think you still do, in your hidden heart of hearts. She´s your dear twin sister, after all. Your dear twin sister who is beautiful and talented and popular and loved in ways you can´t even dream of understanding, let alone attaining.

See if I care. She´s a stupid skinny slut.

So you mope and you lie around, day after fucking day. Oh, sure, you go to your classes (your marks are higher than hers, but the professors still like her better). Oh, sure, you got out with your friends. Your boring studious ugly Ravenclaw friends. Sometimes, you see her with her friends. Her beautiful charming cheerful Gryffindor friends. And no matter what she says (like she´d ever say anything to you anyway), you just know that she and that Lavender bitch are more than just "friends."

You and she were more than just "friends," once too. You were sisters. And sisters are the supposed to be the most important people in a girl´s life.

Well they´re not. The most important person in her life is Lavender. So what. See if I care. Even if Lavender is beautiful. See if I care.

And it pains you to admit it, even to yourself. But it´s true. Lavender is beautiful. More beautiful than you and yet not even close to being half as beautiful as Parvati (it all has to do with the way your sister carries herself, you see).

So she´s sexy and charming and talented. See if I care. She´s stupid.

And you don´t say that out of jealousy but out of love, because you really do worry about her and you wonder what she´ll do with herself after Hogwarts. Just because she´s forgotten you doesn´t mean you´ve forgotten her, after all.

Forgotten you...she really has because she´s so stupid and that´s why her marks are so low and that´s why you´re worried about her. Because she´s dumb and stupid and has low damn marks and will never doing any worthwhile with her life except be a dumb whore.

See if I care.

But you don´t want her to just be a dumb whore, even if that is what she is, because you love her and you care about her more than anything in the whole fucking world, even if all she cares about is herself and makeup and playing games and giggling and being happy and stupid Lavender. You want her to do something with her life, because you know she could if only she would.

But she´s never going to, so it doesn´t matter. She´s an idiot, anyway. She can go fuck herself. Even though every guy and probably at least half of the girls at Hogwarts would gladly ride her long and hard, and do it however she wanted.

Well, just see if I care.