A Future of Hope

Chapter Eight: If Voldemort Triumphs

May

A soft tapping on my window draws my attention. I look up from my latest letter from Harry and see one of the Hogwarts Owls hovering outside. I get up almost at once and open the window to let the bird inside. I draw the envelope from its outstretched leg and summon up some dead mice and water.

The owl hoots happily and hobbles over to the items. I smile and shake my head and open the letter. It's addressed from Minerva. What on earth could she possibly have to tell me? On the parchment are only three words.

"He did it."

The letter slips from my hands. I can feel the tears sting my eyes. He did it. Harry managed to become and Animagus. It only took him three months to do what took his father and Sirius three years.

"Dear Lord," I whisper. I cannot believe he did this. I've been praying for so long that Harry could transform into an animal and now he's done it. I can't find the words to express the happiness I'm feeling. If Harry managed to do such a thing in so short an amount of time, there's no telling what else he can do.

I cross the room into the fireplace. I toss in a pinch of Floo Powder and say "Hogwarts Deputy Headmistress's Office!"

In a rush I'm passing different grates until finally slowing and stepping out into Minerva's office. She's grading papers and humming to herself. She turns around when she hears me brushing off the soot from my already shabby clothing. "Remus," she says lightly, "I had expected you hours ago."

I smile and take the seat opposite her. Soon we're headlong into a conversation about Harry's animal form, what finally triggered his change, and how quickly he can change from one to the other. Before I realize it, I've been here for two hours. Minerva and I exchange our good-byes and I Floo back to my flat.

When I get out of the fireplace. I look sadly upon my home. The ceiling is sinking, the paint on the walls is crumbling, the carpet has a path worn into it from all the nights I stay awake pacing. My furniture is as threadbare as possible and still be useable. I really do live like a pauper.

I don't necessarily have to live like this. I've got a vault in Gringotts with my name on it. I just choose not to use it. My parents were very rich and both the Potters and Sirius left me hefty amounts of gold. And as much as I would enjoy to tap into their money to better my life, I want to make a living first. What I do now barely gets me by and until I'm working a job that provides me with enough money, I'm going to keep my inherited money locked up safe and sound. Besides, it would be a good source to buy Harry a home after he graduates and defeats Voldemort. Or I could buy him a very elaborate birthday or wedding present.

Wow. I'm really getting ahead with Harry's life, aren't I? I shake my head and almost laugh aloud to myself. I really want to focus on what his life can be after Voldemort but mostly all I focus on is the fight between the two of them. Now I can hope for the best because Harry has something up his sleeve Voldemort doesn't know about. Is this animagus form along with his love enough to stop Voldemort? I hope so.

I walk back over to my very beat up desk and scribble out a note to Harry.

"Hogsmead. Two days. One O'Clock. Alone. The Cave."

As I tie the letter to the leg of the very patient Hogwarts Owl, I hope Harry doesn't already have plans with Ginny. I smile as I think of the two of them being together. They really are perfect for one another. If they weren't so young, I'd tell Harry to propose to her, but again, I'm skipping some major parts of Harry's life. No one knows if he'll survive the next encounter with Voldemort. Both Harry and Ginny were lucky last year. This year I don't think escape will be as easy.

I watch the owl fly off and return to my desk. Once more I pick up Harry's letter. When he writes to me, its of day-to-day activities. Sometimes I wish this blasted war was over so I could have letters that mean something. I'm not saying I don't care about how Snape was a bastard (I knew that anyway) or how the other boys in his year pulled a prank on him. I enjoy hearing about pranks and about Snape. I get to picture my greasy-haired ex-school mate going through all sort of tortures each time I get a letter. I just wish I could read about how Harry's really feeling. I want to know how he's dealing with the nightmares and his fears. I want to hear how much he cares for Ginny and all about the frustration he's had about becoming an animagus.

I sigh and place the letter back in it's envelope. I do some quick cleaning spells and then head to my room. Its been a long day and the sooner I go to sleep and get through the next few days, the sooner I can see Harry.

Surprisingly, the next days pass quickly. Before I know it, I'm waiting in the very cave that Sirius hid out in during Harry's fourth year. My poor friend. He lived off of rats for a year. I wish I could have offered him my flat. True, there is barely enough room for me, but I would have welcomed my friend with open arms.

I only wish I had done so years before. My heart still aches to think of him sitting in that dark cell for twelve years when he was innocent. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and go visit him. Even if I had demanded answers, it might have helped to change things. If only I'd protested the charges against him. I could have had many supporters to have him submitted under Veritaserum. We would have known the truth long before and Harry might have had more time with him before he...died.

The tears sting my eyes and I shove them away. I will not cry. I cried enough when I lost him two years ago. Besides, I don't want Harry to see me upset. It will only hurt him to remember the whole incident.

Harry gets to the cave a little after one. I don't even see him until he takes off the invisibility cloak. "Harry!" I say happily and envelop him in a hug.

Harry and I back away and I look him over. He's grown some since I saw him back in December. "How are you?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I'm OK."

"Good," I reply. "I guess you know why I wanted to see you."

Harry smiles. "I had a good idea. Sorry I'm late, Ginny and I were having lunch."

I wince. "I'm sorry I had you cut your date short."

"It's fine. She and I both understand. I can't stay long. Dumbledore wants me back at the castle by two. It's dangerous after all."

"Well I don't want you to be late. He has a point."

"I know. I just hate all this precaution. Now that I'm an unregistered animagus, why should it matter? Why can't we all just let him get it over with?"

I frown and say rather harshly, "Harry James Potter, we don't want to lose you because you become reckless and try to take on Voldemort all on your own."

"I know that," he replies. "I just hate all this waiting and doing nothing."

I place my hand on his shoulder, hoping to comfort him. "I know, Harry."

We're silent for a few moments before he offers to show me his animal form. I step back to give him plenty of room and to have a good view. He transforms in perhaps a second and shows off for me. I laugh at his antics but soon he's back into a human. "You're amazing, Harry," I compliment him.

"Thanks," he responds.

"Voldemort will not know what to expect when you meet once more."

Harry looks up at me with his innocent green eyes. I notice that they don't sparkle like they used to. This entire ordeal is taxing him greatly. "Remus," he whispers softly, "what if it doesn't make a difference? What if I die when I face him?"

"Harry," I say, "how can you think that?"

"I keep dreaming of my death. I don't think I've got enough power to kill him."

"Yes you do. You need to believe that."

"I can't."

"You have so many people believing in you Harry. Once you start to believe in you and your abilities, there will be no hope for Voldemort." Harry nods and hugs me once more before leaving the cave. I can only hope he listens to what I had to say because if he confronts Voldemort thinking he will not survive, he will surely die.

I cannot hold back the deep breath that escapes my lips. I cannot help but wonder if we've pushed him too hard. I cannot help but wonder if it will be our undoing. I send a silent plea up to the Heavens that this will not be the case. There will be no world left if Voldemort triumphs.