A Future of Hope

Chapter Five: The Last Thing I Ever Do

September

I've never liked change all that much. When I was small, little things like when I grew out of toys or had to get new clothing could set me into raging emotions. I don't understand why I cried then but I did. And ever since then, change has never been my forte.

And even when I was eleven and came to Hogwarts I was too terrified to even move for the first hour of the train ride. Then Trevor got loose and I had to start asking people if they'd seen him. Thank goodness for Hermione. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't taken control and offered to go to each cabin and ask around.

I managed to stammer out a thank you to her and after that, I seemed to loosen up just a bit. I became a bit more relaxed and told her all about my family when she got back. I wish she and I had become great friends that day but for some reason she was more drawn to Harry and Ron than to me.

I wasn't jealous of that, but the change from talking to her for the entire train ride to not took all my control. For a while I was upset that she had seemed to ditch me but when she still treated me like a friend, I didn't mind so much. It didn't hurt that she even helped me with my homework when I needed it, which was all the time.

Until Herbology class that is. It seems it's the only class I excel in. Well that's not really all that true. In first year it was the only thing I was good at but now I'm not so bad in Defense or Transfiguration anymore. After DA and Hermione's private tutelage I'm not so horrible.

I turn over in my bed as I realize I've been through a change I didn't even know I had. I'm not so pathetic in my classes and I hadn't realized it. Now I want to know if I've changed any more and hadn't known it.

I sit and stare out at the empty boy's dormitory and compare the way I am today to the way I was seven years ago. I talk more now and I stand up to people when the occasion calls for it. I even ask questions in class and don't always have to call over Hermione to help me find the answer. I am a different person now and I hadn't noticed the change. Wow.

The door creaks open and I turn my head to see who it is. It's only about a week into school and people are usually busy socializing to spend time alone in the dormitory. I'm surprised to find it's Harry. Over the summer he and Ginny got together and I guess I assumed that they would spend all their spare time with one another.

I guess I was wrong. Harry comes and sits beside me on my bed. "Hey," he says.

"Hey," I reply, wondering what exactly it is that he wants.

Not that Harry never talks to me. He and I have talked quite a bit since the Ministry accident our fifth year. Usually though, it happens when we're discussing the situation and what he must eventually do. "There's something I need to tell you Neville," he says, looking at the floor.

"What?" I ask.

"I wanted to tell you about something I found out after Sirius went through the veil."

"OK."

I wait for a response for a few moments while Harry collects his thoughts. I can't help but wonder what is so important that he has to tell me. "When's your birthday Neville?" he finally asks, turning to me.

"July 30^th. Why?"

"I've wanted to tell you this ever since I found out. That night, when we were barely a year old, Voldemort could have just as easily come after you instead of me."

"What?" I recoil to the opposite end of my bed, placing space between us.

"There was a prophecy," Harry continues, the rush of his words increasing as he becomes unaware that I'm staring wide-eyed at him and paling with each word. "Voldemort learned of part of the prophecy. It said that at the end of July a baby would be born who could defeat him. He would have parents who had escaped him three different times. It stated that he would mark the baby as his equal but that the baby would have a power he didn't know. We're the only two who could have possibly been that child, Neville."

By now I'm shaking. Harry looks at me with sad eyes. "He could have easily given you this scar," he says, lifting his bangs and showing his lightning bolt. I gasp as I see how red it is and the tiny line of blood that inlays it.

"He chose me over you because one of his servants begged him not to. So even though he knew of you, he came after me to show his followers that no one could dictate to him what to do."

Harry becomes silent and he stares once more at the floor. "Why are you telling me this, Harry?"

It's a very awkward confession to make so unexpectedly. What is he getting at? "Voldemort knows of you now," he replies. "Or at least he's remembered that you're someone who could possibly oppose him. I wanted you to know this in case he throws it at you eventually. I wanted you to know that you are just as involved in this as I am."

Before I can say anything, Ron walks into the dormitory. "Hey guys," he says. "Neville, the Headmaster wants to speak to you. McGonagall just came to get you but I told her I'd relay the message. She's waiting just outside the portrait hole."

"OK," I reply as I stand and walk out the door.

I hear Harry say something but I ignore it and hasten out of the Gryffindor Tower. McGonagall doesn't even greet me as she sees me but starts down the hall. I follow after her and try not to think about what Harry has told me but its no use.

I cannot help but think that were it not for one choice, my life would have been different. I had just been comparing myself earlier, but now I compare even more. I would have had to face Quirrel my first year. Would I have had the strength to do such a thing? Could I even have done that without Hermione? I would have had to go into the Chamber of Secrets and face a basilisk. I would have had to face a werewolf. I would have had to face a dragon and mermaids and Cedric's death. Could I have done such a thing?

Now I think that I could handle some of that, but I don't believe I could have when I was younger. And now that I think about it, Harry didn't have a choice on most of those things. Yes, he chose to save Ginny and try to save the Philosopher's Stone, but everything else was not of his choosing. Could I have had enough will power to keep going after surviving all the horrors Harry has? Or would I have died long ago and the world gone to Hell?

McGonagall stops walking just in front of a stone gargoyle. "Lemon Drop," she says and the gargoyle springs out of the way to reveal a staircase. "He is waiting at the top."

I nod and start up, terrified that I have done something wrong to be seeing Dumbledore. At the top of the stairs, the Headmaster greets me and offers me a lemon drop. I decline and take a seat opposite his desk. "Mr. Longbottom, I assume you believe yourself to be in trouble. Am I correct?" he questions me.

Meekly, I nod. Even after seven years, the man can still intimidate me. "You are mistaken, Mr. Longbottom. I was merely concerned that you might have the wrong impression from Mr. Potter."

I manage to look up into his blue eyes and ask, "How did you know about that, sir?"

His eyes twinkle as he replies, "I have my ways. I wanted you to know that however you may feel about possibly being the one who could defeat Voldemort, is not true. Voldemort chose Harry and so, it is Harry who can defeat him and not you. Had Voldemort chose you, then perhaps it would be you, but he did not. I believe he saw a bit of himself in Harry and that is why he feared him enough to try to kill him before the prophecy could be carried out."

"But sir," I ask, "why have you told me this?"

"Harry will need your help, Mr. Longbottom. I believe that with your support, it will help him to succeed. Also, Voldemort has decided that maybe you hold some power he may know of, but cannot harness. He believes that if he can sway you to his side, he can use you against Harry."

"But I don't have any extraordinary powers."

"Oh I doubt that Mr. Longbottom. I think that with proper guidance, you could be a very valuable ally. Look how far you've come in the past two years. Just imagine how better tuned your powers could be if you worked at them for another two years. Your advancement has sparked Voldemort's interest. Harry and I felt you should know why. That is all."

"So what are you asking of me sir?"

Dumbledore smiled at me and replies, "Be true to yourself, Mr. Longbottom and help Harry all you can. The burden he carries is very weighty. Also, I ask that you practice your defense skills with Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Ms. Weasley, Ms. Granger, and Ms. Lovegood twice a week. They have agreed to this."

"Alright sir."

"Very good. You may go now."

Dumbledore smiles again as I stand and walk out of his office. As I head back to the Common Room, I wonder if Dumbledore is right. With training, can I be useful to the cause? Can I really help Harry defeat Voldemort? If I can't, then at least I'll know I tried. I decide that I'll do this thing Dumbledore asks of me. Harry does need all the help he can get. I'll help him to destroy Voldemort even if it's the last thing I ever do.