Without

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, and all items associated with, are property of J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros., et al. There is no profit being gained from the content of this story and it is to be used solely for private entertainment purposes. The plot is the intellectual property of the writer. No parts of this story are to be duplicated or posted elsewhere without the expressed permission of the author.

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What am I supposed to do now?

I never ever thought...

This never seemed a possibility...ever.

***

I never thought it would end like this.

How am I supposed to go on, when they're not here with me?

How can I move on without my best friend and my first and only love?

***

It wasn't supposed to end like this...

***

'Hermione! Stay back! Please - don't follow me. Please, I beg of you, we will kill him...I'll avenge both our parents. Don't worry, Hermione. Ron will be with me. I love you! I'll be back!'

***

The tears fall. I can feel them slipping down my cheeks. My fingers wipe the wetness away in weary habit.

I loved him with everything my heart could give. And it nearly tore us apart.

***

'...Hermione, it's okay. I understand. I see the way you look at him. I know now - we weren't the perfect match. But you and Harry are. The two of you have always 'worked.' As much as I didn't want to see it, I knew I couldn't break through that. I still love you, Hermione, as my best friend. We'll always be best friends. I know it took me a while to come around, but I did, didn't I? Besides, seven years of friendship is just too much of an investment to throw away, not to mention a waste of my time.'

***

I can feel the smile tugging at my lips falteringly. New tears come, as I remember the relief of seeing Ron return to the Horcrux mission. I can still remember finally being able to breathe freely. Remembering the light of friendship rekindled in Harry's face, eyes shining with hope and later in the night sparkling with mirth.

He was so beautiful in happiness. Everything about him was lighter, faster. He always claimed he could conquer a dragon with his best friends by his side.

***

She knelt at the headstone, bowing her head and resting her hand on the top of the onyx headstone.

Eyeing the block, she reached out and fingered the engraved names.

Ronald Bilius Weasley

A passionate and devoted friend

Live in death, love in peace

Harry James Potter

A loyal and brave friend,

love in death,

rest in deserved peace

She pulled her hand away slowly, listening to her tears falling on the blades with a gentle tap on the grass at her knees. She blinked, clearing her eyes.

She whispered mournfully, "I miss you two so much. It's hard. It's so hard to go on without you two. I can't lie. I think about going where you are - but I know you'd both be a bit upset. And perhaps feel a bit robbed. Me, taking my own life by choice and you two giving your lives for me and everyone else here."

She wiped harshly at the stray tears on her cheeks.

"I haven't gotten that far yet. I just can't, knowing how you two would react. I just hope that at some point I can know that you're both okay, if I could just see you both one last time..."

The graveyard was quiet, save for the sounds of birds twittering and insects crawling and flying over the grass and trees. Slowly the wind picked up - tousling her curls across her cheeks.

She lifted her head to allow the wind to move her hair back again. The clouds parted, allowing the sun's rays to warm her face and dry away some of her tears. She felt the wind caress her skin, an invisible force pushing her tears away.

She opened her eyes suddenly. 'Could it be?' The wind picked up again, carrying with it a hearty, joyful laugh.

Harry's laugh. A laugh bestowed sparingly but wholeheartedly.

"Harry?" she asked.

She shook her head pityingly, amazed and frightened by her imagination. The wind circled her body persistently and she froze. There it was again - a laugh filled with amusement and happiness.

'Oh come on, Harry, catch it already! It's passed my head twice now. Let's head down soon, I'm starving!'

....She smiled fleetingly, almost convinced a Snitch had somehow made its way to her. Teasing her as it fzzzzz'd around her head and played with her hair as it passed her ears.

She stood still, basking in the familiarity of their voices that would forever haunt her heart. She smiled shakily, covering her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle a sob she felt rising in the back of her throat.

Her eyes slipped closed. She could hear the insects still buzzing and crawling. The wind was still whipping curls around her face and playing with the hem of her summer dress.

She raised her arms on either side of her and lifted her face to the sky, smiling. She could still hear their playful teasing. And she was grateful.

"I love you, Harry. I miss you, Ron. Wait for me, alright? Wait for me too."

Never would she forget their undying friendship and love, especially on that sunny summer day, when she was grieving so much.

***

A/N: A big thanks, and hug to Zaphod_beeblebrox for beta-ing this in the dead of night. And a YAY! for me, as I've finally posted something new! (:::squee!:::) My second one-shot! :::does happy dance:::