Goodbye To You

GOODBYE TO YOU

Draco slipped quietly from the Slytherin common room. He was so nervous. He had been for the past six months or so. To put an exact date to it, since he had begun dating Hermione Granger from Gryffindor.

Hermione was the epitome of everything that he was expected to not like. Her looks weren't startling until you saw her inner beauty. Her brains seemed to put plenty off of her. She was a 'goody-two-shoes' and was in Gryffindor while he was in Slytherin, the rival house. But above everything, she was Muggle-born, something that his father would kill him for liking.

But, as many say, opposites attract, and the two found themselves trying to resist urges that were insatiable. They tried to ignore the feelings but they were there, growing ever stronger until they could no longer resist and had been seeing each other ever since then.

Draco hid behind a statue, thinking he had heard someone coming. When he thought the coast was clear, he sighed a pent-up breath and scuttled quickly along the corridor, again stopping to check there was no one or nothing that would catch him.

His eyes darted furiously along, knowing he was already late for their meeting.

'Ah, stuff it!' he ran down the corridor and right into the Transfiguration room. He leant against the door frame and caught his breath, trying to steady himself in great gasps.

He turned around slowly after he heard a cough, hoping that he was in the right room.

He smiled when he saw who was behind him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione wrung her hands impatiently, waiting with every fibre of her being that he would turn up tonight. She knew what risks he ran, trying to get to the Transfiguration room. She had less to worry about. As a Prefect, she had the right to be out of bed at almost anytime of day.

'COME ON!' she thought furiously and began pacing, turning to look at the clock on the wall. Now she had learnt how to read the wizard clocks and realised that Draco was already ten minutes late.

She sighed and sat down, beginning to twiddle her thumbs, tapping her feet to some inaudible music. Then she heard a sound outside of the room. She jumped up and ran to the door.

She peered out through a crack in the door and her eyes ran over the outside of the room quickly, shutting the door quietly when she realised that there was no one there.

'What the hell's taking him so long?' she wondered, beginning to get worried. She turned around and stared out of the windows, looking down onto Hogwarts' grounds.

Then she heard another sound, but this time, right in the room. Her heart began to pound.

She quickly turned around and her eyes widened at who was there.

Draco was bent over, panting like there was no tomorrow and she coughed a little, wondering how long it would take for him to notice she was there.

He turned around almost immediately and grinned when he saw her. Despite why she had called him here, she grinned in return.

'How on earth am I going to do this?'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco strode towards her and embraced her tightly, burying his face into her mass of soft curls. He felt her breath on his neck and felt as though life couldn't get any better. It just felt so perfect when he was with her.

He pulled away from her reluctantly and stared at her. He was shocked when he saw her crying.

"'Moine! What's wrong, love?" he asked her, concerned.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

She looked up at him, wishing that she could've held up the façade for longer than she did. But she knew how hurt he would be, how hurt she was, but she couldn't live and love the way she was. The way they were.

And it almost killed her, knowing that this would be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do.

"Draco, darling..." she started, whispering. He bent down closer to her, making sure he caught every word she said.

"I... just... don't think... this is gonna work out."

He pulled back, horrified at what he heard. Then his face cracked into a smile.

"Ha! That's a good one, honey! You almost had me fooled!" he laughed but stopped abruptly when he saw her eyes.

He had always loved her eyes. At least ever since he saw them. They were cinnamon but with tiny flecks of gold, green and blue. What he loved most, though, was how he could always see her emotions.

And right now he was worried.

Her eyes told him she was not lying.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ha! That's a good one, honey! You almost had me fooled!"

'No... this is so much harder than I thought.'

She sighed, not believing that he could possibly think that she was joking. Then again, of course he didn't know how serious it was.

She knew it wasn't his fault. It was just an act that both had agreed to play. They were to continue seeing other people while they were secretly seeing each other.

However, Hermione had more to worry about. She had only ever been on a few dates, never having a steady boyfriend, and she was most definitely not known for being a serial dater.

Unfortunately, Draco was and, if he wanted to keep this relationship a secret, he'd have to keep dating random girls.

She knew it was not his fault, but it still hurt her, cut her deep down.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She, Harry and Ron were walking away from the Great Hall, and, all of a sudden, they heard a muffled sound.

Being the three investigators they were, they decided that they should go see what was happening.

Draco was pressed up against a wall by a slutty brunette who was snogging his brains out. Her hands ran up down his body and, Hermione knew, what was underneath that shirt.

And it pained her to watch him with another girl.

Draco opened his eyes and they widened when he saw Hermione standing there. It was as if the whole world has stopped, just because of the pain in her eyes.

He pushed the brunette away and stared venomously at them, but Hermione could tell he was dead worried that she was going to pull out a wand and curse him.

"What do you stupid gits want?" he sneered. She watched Ron ball up him fists but caught his hands.

"Leave him, alone, Ron." She glanced poisonously at him and she watched him flinch. "If he wants to catch the mumps, let him."

She stalked away and Draco stared after her for a total of about four seconds before he was pulled in for another round of kisses.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione shook her head, tears falling, as she tried to push that memory away. He had apologised profusely afterwards, saying that he didn't mean for it to happen and she accepted that.

But it still hurt.

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend

"Draco." She started and she looked up into his eyes. "I'm serious. We won't work."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stared at her, frozen. She had said it. She was serious.

He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and stared right into her eyes, searching desperately for some sign that she was just pulling his leg even more.

But it wasn't there so he decided to find out why she had said it.

And convince her that it would work.

"Herm, why won't it work?" he tried hard to cover it, but the desperate tone escaped.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She sighed, wondering how she could tell him everything. How much it hurt her that her love life was a secret and, because of that, her social life was a lie.

"Draco, I just don't think we'll last. We don't have enough in common..." she lied lamely, wondering if she could escape with lies, but she could tell that he was not buying what she was saying and was definitely not amused.

"What does that matter, Herm?" he demanded to know and she could feel tears well up in the corner of her eyes.

"It does!" she said louder than intended and lowered her voice immediately. "How can you be with someone if you can't even talk about a topic without arguing over what side you should take?"

"How can you even think about leaving 'us' when you know I love you? Isn't love all that matters?"

"Draco." She glared and swallowed before she said simply, "There is no 'us'."

And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He collapsed on the floor, staring into space. She sat down next to him and faced the wall. Silence reigned but it seemed to deafen her more than their arguments did.

This silence was painful.

And it was the end.

"How can you say that?" he whispered and she turned sharply towards him.

"How can I say what?" she inquired.

He looked her right in the eye.

"That there is no 'us'."

His blue/grey eyes burned holes right in her heart, just by looking at them. She had always thought they were beautiful, even when they hated each other. She hated how he was so cute but such a jerk.

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

"Officially, there never was."

"Huh?"

"I mean, we were never officially a couple..."

He glared at her. "What has that got to do with anything?"

She paused. It didn't really have to do with anything. It was just an excuse and she remained silent.

He nodded slowly. "So, do you really think we should break up?"

She faced him quickly and snapped, "Do you think I would be doing this now if I thought we shouldn't?"

He laughed softly. Then he stopped slowly. He gazed at her, hurt and longing in his eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you."

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She nodded slowly, wishing that he had never said that. She was already going through a doubting period and could just as easily say that she had made a huge mistake and that she loved him, too.

Deep down, she knew he was right but she had always been stubborn and, most of the time, it cost her dearly.

It was costing her the world tonight and was internally already kicking herself.

She had begun to say, 'I'm gonna miss you, too.' But he interrupted her.

"Do you remember the time that Filch almost caught us?" he laughed and she began to giggle, despite the situation.

"Do I ever." She grinned and tired to muffle her laughter.

He sighed deeply. "Ah, they were the good times."

She stared intently and felt her heart almost break in two. She knew what he meant and she felt so horrible, especially knowing that she didn't want it either. This was unfair on both of them.

And it was her fault.

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco stood up and stretched.

"Well, I'd better be going then." He stared at the floor, then at the door. "Nothing to stay here for."

He turned towards her and she felt her breath catch in her throat. He leant in slowly to kiss her on the cheek.

"Ummm..." he muttered and then looked up at her. "If you ever need me, or if you ever wanna get... you know... back together... I'm always here."

She nodded and kissed him back, slowly and gently on the lips.

"Good to know." She said simply.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Draco walked slowly back towards the Slytherin tower, thinking that there was nothing for him, either back where Hermione probably still stood, or in front of him, where reality would finally hit.

That he no longer had Hermione.

He climbed in through the wall and walked up the stairs towards his dorm.

He collapsed on the bed and slipped underneath the doona.

Then he began to cry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione stood rooted for almost five minutes after he left before she decided that she should get back to bed.

She climbed in through the portrait hole and stood, staring at the fireplace before heading up to her dorm.

She changed into her pyjamas and went to get a drink of water before going to sleep.

She stared up at the stars, wishing she could take tonight back.

But knowing that she couldn't.

Teardrops fell from her eyes and she turned and went to sleep.

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

*~*~*~*~*~*~*