Lily's Lullaby

"LILY! RUN! I'LL HOLD HIM OFF FOR AS LONG AS I CAN! GO! PROTECT HARRY!"

"I love you James!"

"I love you too! RUN!"

Lily Potter raced up the stairs, her heart pounding. He was here. How? Shouldn't they have been safe? Had Peter been--

She heard a wail from Harry's room, and rushed over. Oh no, is Harry hurt?

She swung open the door, and bounded to the crib. Despite the horrible situation, she couldn't help but feel a bit relieved when she saw that Harry was just fussing.

She picked him up and he quieted down. Lily tried to Apparate, but remembered just in time that there was an Apparition barrier.

Well, a fat lot of good it did us, Lily thought angrily. He got in, and now we can't escape.

She heard a cry, more animal than human, from downstairs, and just barely suppressed the urge to run down and help James. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't go--she needed to keep Harry safe.

Harry was wailing even louder, and she began to rock him quietly.

"Shh, shhh," she whispered. "Everything's going to be alright. It's alright. It's alright."

Harry's wailing lessened, but not by much. Over his cries, she could barely hear the commotion downstairs.

"Oh, Harry, shhhh, shhh. It's going to be fine," Lily cooed, but she knew she was lying. Things were not fine. Voldemort was in their house.

Harry seemed to sense that all was not right, and fussed more. He reached for his mother's hair, and Lily knew what would calm him down.

She covered his face with her hair, and walked over to the rocking chair in the corner. She sang his favorite lullaby as she sat down and began to rock back and forth. .

"Go to sleep, say your prayers, rest your head upon my shoulder," she sang as she rocked Harry. Harry calmed within a few moments, just like Lily knew he would. He looked up at her with those trusting green eyes.

"Slumber deep, and sleep your cares away," she sang, ending her song with the charm that was the boon of all new mothers. Harry fell asleep in his mother's arms.

The house was silent.

Lily gasped, realizing what the silence meant. The fight downstairs was over.

But what had happened?

She heard footsteps stalking into her kitchen. They didn't kill each other then . . . but who had survived?

As Lily cradled her only son in her arms, she realized she almost certainly knew the answer to her question. She was fairly sure of her husband's fate, and her own as well.

Lily heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She felt her heart begin to pound, almost in time with every footfall.

It's just not fair, she thought. It's not fair that our Harry isn't going to have the chance to live. He isn't even two yet, and his life will be ending!

Lily's back and resolve stiffened at this thought. Harry would live to go to Hogwarts, to have a family of his own. He would not die.

Not if she could help it.

She would sing the lullaby to her baby one last time. It would seem innocent enough . . . but she'd substitute the words for something different--something powerful.

The last lullaby she would sing to her baby boy would be older than Hogwarts, older than Britain. The last notes her baby boy would hear from her voice would be the shield that would protect him.

"If I die before I wake, may I look upon the angels standing by, come to take me home," Lily sang, her eyes misting, as she walked towards the crib. Harry was going to live through this if it killed her . . . and it probably would.

The footsteps were in the hallway now. Lily quickly whispered the rest of the enchanted lullaby.

"Don't you cry, my darling--you are home," she assured him. "You and I, together, make a home."

Lily paused, and looked into the face of her only son. She kissed his forehead, knowing that he'd very likely never feel her lips on his skin again.

She lowered him down into his crib, and waved her wand over him. He glowed red for a second, then returned to normal.

The footsteps were closer now. Lily piled blankets on top of Harry, hoping against hope that her makeshift shelter might hide him.

Lily heard footsteps pause outside, and saw the doorknob move. She ran to the other side of the room, in an effort to mislead Voldemort as to Harry's location, and adopted a defensive stance. She'd be damned if she was going down without a fight.

Lily, though she was terrified, bravely trained her eyes on the door. It opened a crack.

It was James's hand opening the door.

"Oh James!" she cried, running towards the door. He was alright! He was al--

The hand dropped. It fell on the carpet and left a bloody trail as it rolled towards Lily.

She screamed.

The hand rolled towards her as she retreated, following her every move. She backed into the rocking chair; she could go no further. Her knees gave out, and she collapsed into the seat.

Still, the hand rolled inexorably forward.

Immobilized by grief, she could only watch in horror as her dead husband's fingers--the same fingers that had once caressed her so warmly-- brushed her toes.

"Yes, mudblood. He's dead. That's all you'll see of him."

Oh no--oh please no. He can't be dead. He can't. James can't be dead. Ohnoohno ohpleaseno. He can't be dead. He's dead. James is dead. Oh god no. He's gone . . . how can I go on without him? How? How? I don't want to go on without him. I can't. I can't. But . . . Harry . . . for Harry . . . oh god, James is dead. He's dead.

"You and the half-blood baby will be dead before you have a chance to see the rest of his body . . . or, rather, what's left of it."

There was a sinister chuckle.

Lily had seen the horrible torturous things he'd done to people, and felt distinctly sick. She hoped Voldemort didn't notice the delicate vaguely-pink thread of vapor that drifted out of her back and over to the pile of blankets that was Harry.

"Oh don't worry. He died quickly. The gruesomely extensive mutilation was post-mortem. Just a treat for your rescuers, when they arrive here too late."

"Y-you monster!" Lily managed to choke out.

"The child. Give me the child."

"No!" Lily yelled. "He's just a baby! Let him be!"

Voldemort replied with a simple, "Expelliarmus!"

Lily grasped at her wand as it flew towards Voldemort. If Moody had seen, he would have been disappointed. So much for constant vigilance.

"I plan to kill you either way. Move, or die first. You're lucky I'm giving you a choice," Voldemort said menacingly.

"Kill me instead of Harry! I give you my life in exchange for his! Just--don't hurt him!"

The last of the vapor drifted into the blankets, and the thread broke.

"Very well," said Voldemort. "Avada Kedavra!"

Lily felt the bond seal, and suddenly felt very light. She drifted out of her body as it slumped over on the floor. Harry, sensing the loss, began to cry. She wished she could comfort him, but the protection she left him would have to be comfort enough.

Lily wept.

She tried to stay and watch, but some force from above pulled her.

And she wept.

"No! Let me stay! Let me stay!" she wailed desperately, but she kept going upward.

And she wept.

Soon Godric's Hollow was nothing but a speck.

And she wept.

She arrived on some sort of cloud, where James was waiting.

"Lily!" he cried, rushing to her and holding her. "Shh, shh, everything's going to be alright. It's alright. It's alright."

"I didn't--I didn't--" Lily hiccupped.

"Is Harry coming?"

"I hope not. I hope not."