Hermione's Dark Secrets

"I just don't understand it, Minerva. Why would she try to commit suicide?"

"I don't know, Albus. And it's just a theory. All I know is that some students called her perfect, and Hermione told me that she didn't like it when people called her that.

She didn't tell me why, but I'm guessing it was a lot of pressure for her. Being a Prefect, the one with the best grades, having heroic Harry Potter as her friend, not to mention she's very famous because of that friendship."

"Speaking of her friendships, Minerva, how are those boys doing?"

"They are constantly by her side in the infirmary. Especially Ron. I excused them from classes for a few days for them to get over the shock.

They read her books, and tell her what's happening to her fellow Gryfindors, even though they know she probably can't hear them.

That's the thing I don't get, Albus. If Hermione did commit suicide, why would she want to with friends like that? They are absolutely dedicated to her!"

"Minerva, there are many things, not even I or her parents know about her. And her parents became interested in their daughter's every move after their eldest died."

"Albus..... I didn't know the Grangers had had another child. Maybe that sibling's death traumatized Hermione. Maybe that's why she tried to kill herself!"

"Minerva, you now Hermione never showed signs of being unstable up till now. I'm sure if it really traumatized her, she would tell someone.

Of course they never did find out how Alexis died. I suppose that could eat away at someone till a breaking point...."

"Albus. I don't feel really talking about deceased people right now, given the circumstances. Hermione could be dead right now, and she might have some serious damage done to her, but we can't find out yet, because she's unconscious, and....... It's just so hard to handle."

"I know, Minerva. But, let's go visit Hermione now. See how she's doing."

~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hermione's mind........

"So cold. Freezing. I have to stay warm. To survive."

Another memory was taking place.

A eight year old Hermione, standing in a park, in mid-winter. Hiding so she wouldn't have to see Alexis's cheerful face when she opened up all the fabulous presents Alexis got from her many friends for her birthday.

"Maybe a nice family will come along, and pick me up, and take me to their home to live with them. They'll treat me like my parents treat Alexis and everything will be okay. And I'll have a nice brother and sister, who are treated equal to me, and love me. And I'll be happy. Finally."

That fantasy of Hermione's never happened. And she was out in the snow 4 hours, before her parents even noticed she was missing.

~~~~********~~~~

"Hermione! What were you doing out there? You could have frozen to death, and you didn't even have the proper clothing! We were so worried!"

"I'm sorry Mom! I wanted to play at the park and I didn't want to take you away from Alexis's birthday party!" said Hermione, but really what she was thinking was, "I'm lying again. Like I always have to do. But why shouldn't I? My mother's lying. She said she was worried. Of course she was worried. That's why it took so long to even realize I was gone. And she's yelling at me again, too. If she were really worried, she wouldn't be yelling. She'd be hugging me!"

"Hermione!" The voice came across the room of the police station. It was a high, pretty voice used for singing, and influencing judges in debates. It was a voice that came like a knife hurtling toward a heart and piercing it, to Hermione. It was Alexis.

"Hermione! We were so worried!" Alexis hugged her cousin, and gave her a smile. Hermione gave her a false smile, but her heart wasn't in it.

Alexis noticed something was wrong with her (as she thought it) little sister. "Hermione? Is everything okay?"

Hermione looked at her cousin. "I guess I'm just cold Lexi."

Alexis smiled at the use of her nickname. "I'll bring you some hot chocolate."

Immediately, Hermione's parents started gushing over Alexis's behavior.

"So considerate! Most people wouldn't be able to tell she's just eleven today!"

"She doesn't even seem to care about the fact her birthday party was interrupted! We'll have to make it up to her!"

Hermione's parents were so caught up in their praises for their niece, they didn't even notice the tears that fell from their real daughter's eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the infirmary......

"'Mione? 'Mione!! Wake up!!! Harry, she's having another dream!!! She's crying!!! And I can't wake her up!!"

A worried Ron was shaking Hermione's limp body, attempting, but not succeeding, in waking her!

"Ron! Don't shake her like that! You could make her worse!" chastised an equally worried Harry.

Ron slumped in a chair, hanging his head. He mumbled, "I'm sorry. I didn't think....." Before he let a few tears drip from his eyes.

Harry looked at his unconscious dreaming, no, nightmaring friend to the sobbing one. "Ron? Are you alright?"

"No Harry! I'm not alright! What a stupid question!"Ron exploded.

Ron then looked at Harry, and kicked himself mentally. "I'm sorry Harry. It's just.... I feel so powerless right now! Hermione nearly drowned, and now she's unconscious, and it's my fault!"

"Ron, you didn't know Hermione would be this way after that fight! You didn't know, I didn't know, hell, she probably didn't know!"

Ron looked at Harry with unfeeling eyes, and said, "If she didn't know, how come McGonnagol thinks she tried to kill herself?"

~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~ Flashback to the fight~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~

"Ron! Why do you have to be so damn jealous of Krum? We're just friends now!" cried Hermione.

"I'm not jealous of that prat! And you certainly don't look like "just friends" in the pictures you sent me and Harry of your little visit with Krum!"

Ron pointed to a picture from Harry's picture collage. "Look at the way he's looking at you! It's disgusting! But of course you can't be wrong! Not Perfect Prefect Hermione!"

Hermione was furious, but also close to crying. She simply glared at Ron. Then she sprang for her room!

"Hermione! Get back here!" bellowed Ron as he chased after her, only a few steps behind.

The Prefect door slammed in his face! "Hermione! Come out of that room NOW!"

The door shot open, and out ran a crying sixteen-year-old girl, past an enraged flame haired boy. Hermione ran to the painting of the Fat Lady, with something a sickly green in her hand.

"Friends Forever!" she spat the ironic password, and as the painting swung open, she put one foot out the doorway, and said, "Goodbye Ron!"

And those were the last words Ron had heard before being told of the accident that occurred.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~ Another memory of Hermione ~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~

Eight-year-old Hermione and her family had just gotten to the Granger residence from the police station. Mr. Granger was looking for his keys when eleven-year-old Alexis noticed something strange holding onto their gate.

"Daddy?" Alexis asked, as she pointed to the creature, "Is that an owl?"