Black and White

Chapter One

New Moon: The Joining

A tear coursed unheeded down her anaemic-pale cheek as she stared out of the window.

The outside world, a dark shadow that hunted her continuously, hovered on the edge of every waking dream. Her father had told her how immoral and depraved it was; he tried to protect her from it. He was no longer there to do so.

She watched her mother saunter back through the barrier at the station, back to the muggle world, and Carmeline fought back an impulse to run after her, to beg her forgiveness for being such an unsatisfactory daughter. Even if I did, she would give me that look, like I had shamed her, and turn away. I couldn´t bear it if she turned away again.

The train began to move ponderously forward with a screech of metal on metal, and her tears flowed more freely now.

I´m 16 for God´s sake, I should be able to handle this.

Carmeline wiped them from her face, berating herself for her weakness, wishing only that Arren was there with her. Her twin´s transformation had been worse than usual the other night; the reason he wasn´t there to see her off.

Banishing the thoughts from her mind, Carmeline took out a sketchpad and pencil, losing herself in the familiar patterns, lines and textures embodied on the page.

******

A few minutes had passed, though it felt like hours to her, until at last, the compartment door scraped open. Carmeline looked up slowly.

In the doorway stood four boys, all of whom were staring at her . The tallest of them brushed back his untamed raven hair nervously, "Hi...would it be okay if we shared this compartment?"

"All the others were full," supplied a shorter boy from behind him, of which she could only see a pair of watery blue eyes peering curiously at her.

Carmeline merely shrugged helplessly as they trouped through the door, and she allowed her eyes to rove over them in turn, missing nothing. As the last threw down his rucksack, he gave Carmeline a friendly smile, "Just ignore Pete, he doesn´t really have a way with words." it was Carmeline´s turn to stare; because despite his lithe frame, his aura hinted at tremendous power. Light brown hair fell over the boy´s eyes - his mesmerising golden eyes, the perfect mirror image of her own.

Her pencil balancing precariously at the end of a line, slipped. A dark mar on an otherwise perfect page.

Realising the implications of what she saw before her, Carmeline leapt to her feet , dropping the book, and, with a last terrified look at him, bolted from the compartment.

"What was that about?" asked Sirius, not noticing the exchange between the girl and Remus. James had, however, and pointed out, "Did you see her eyes?" Sirius looked confused.

"She had the same eyes as Moony," James said finally. It took a few moments for this to sink in, then Sirius´ mouth opened in shock, "So she´s a...?"

"I don´t know," Remus cut across him, speaking barely above a whisper, "but if she isn´t, she´s certainly related to one."

Leaning forward, Sirius picked up the abandoned sketchpad and stared at the most recent drawing.

A lone wolf, howling at the moon.

***************

Not quite meeting one another´s eyes, the Marauders stood in an uncomfortable silence, "Should we maybe go and find her?" suggested Peter, timidly.

"I´ll go."

Sirius´ head snapped up to capture Remus´ gaze, "Sure? I can go if you want,"

Shaking his head, Remus made for the door trying to order his thoughts, not really sure what to say to the girl.

He regarded the door critically for a moment after it slammed shut behind his friend, before turning to Carmeline´s vacated space. Sirius´ eyes fell on her navy backpack in a corner of the seat and he had to fight his curious nature not to find out what it contained.

Instead, he collapsed on the crimson seat, stretching his long legs across the gap and pulling a pack of exploding snap cards out of his pocket, "Well, no one can say the first day back is dull." he commented, tossing them at James to stop him pacing the small compartment.

Peter kicked restlessly at the bench in front of him, "What if she is though? Will she be put in the Whomping Willow too?" at this, Sirius´ face blanched slightly.

"Better not be, she´ll find out about us."

With a start, James shook his head and sat down, "Can´t be. She´s...well, she´s a she."

"Huh?" Peter looked up in slightly glazed confusion.

Sneaking a sideways glance at his best friend, Sirius was delighted to see a slow blush creeping up his neck, "Yes, do explain what you mean, Jamie,"

"W-well," he stuttered, cursing himself for ever having opened his mouth, "it´s because of...because of..." James waved his hands vaguely to illustrate his meaning.

Sirius chuckled and slapped him on the back, "Too easy, mate. Far too easy."

James simply gave him a quelling look and covered his embarrassment by picking up Carmeline´s sketchbook and flicking through it.

Magic and muggle creatures graced the pages, each one so detailed that it could have sprung from the paper into reality. Many were simple pencil drawings, the lack of coloured elaboration making them all the more striking.

He gave a low whistle and carefully replaced the book, snapping it shut on a fiery red dragon who was writhing and blowing mushroom-shaped flames over the page.

"Impressive."

***************

Oh well done, now they´ll think you´re some kind of mental case. Carmeline faced an internal struggle between horror and...was it joy? There are people like me, even here.

She strode through compartment after compartment, not knowing where she was headed or what she was going to do. A blur of faces swam before her eyes, all wearing various expressions of surprise as she rushed past, long hair concealing her from their prying eyes.

Eventually, she threw open another smoky glass door and stepped through to find a maelstrom of emerald green and silver greeting her. Nine pairs of eyes turned to regard her, nine haughty expressions of disdain, nine Slytherin sneers.

Carmeline began to back away, about to utter some form of apology if she could only regain the use of her tongue, when a hand descended on her shoulder making her spin around much faster than any normal human could. He stood, looking down on her.

******

There was an almighty *BANG* as she slid back the door. The pale boy´s Exploding Snap tower had collapsed, rendering him eyebrowless. The other two that looked like brothers were rolling around the floor in fits of laughter.

All action stopped when she entered and they stared at her. A flicker of annoyance crossed her mind, and before she could stop herself, Carmeline snapped sarcastically "I´m sorry, is my other head showing again?" making a show of patting her shoulder.

The effect of this was immediate, the boys lost their startled expressions and started laughing again. Once they had quietened down, Remus introduced them, "This is James Potter, Quidditch Captain and Prefect," he said, gesturing to the tallest boy, who grinned, his hazel eyes lighting up with mischief, "Peter Pettigrew, I haven´t enough time to list his accomplishments," continued Remus, whilst James sniggered. It was clear to Carmeline that Peter wasn´t overly talented, as he smiled shyly at her, "and finally, Sirius Black, enough said I think." the last boy went down on one knee and kissed her hand, prompting her to gape at him in astonishment.

"You´ll get used to it." muttered Remus, kicking Sirius in the ribs.

"Ow, Moony! That bloody well hurts!"

"I know. Now, please stop terrifying our guest. This, by the way, is Carmeline White."

Peter´s face took on an awed expression and he murmured, "What, the...?" he didn´t get to complete his sentence as Sirius rapped him smartly on the knuckles with his wand.

"Leave it." he said, shooting Carmeline a calculating glance through his long, spiked fringe. She locked gazes with him, slightly disconcerted by the paleness of his eyes, not sure whether to be annoyed or grateful.

Taking advantage of her distracted state, Sirius slung a companionable arm about her shoulders and guided her to a seat, saying the first thing that came to mind, to cover the somewhat tense silence that had developed, "So, Carmel, you like Quidditch?"

To his surprise, her mood instantly improved, "Yeah, it´s great, I presume you play?" she asked, swiftly sliding her sketchbook into her bag and curling up next to him, slowly inching out from beneath his grip.

"I´m a beater on the Gryffindor house team. You?"

"Chaser."

"Were you on a school team?" he asked curiously, wondering where she had been before.

"No, I didn´t go to school," noticing his confused look, Carmeline added, "I was home tutored in magic."

"Ah," he didn´t seem to know what to say to this, so he changed track, "know what House you´re going to be in?"

Carmeline grinned, seizing her chance, "My bet´s on Slytherin."

Sirius gawped and quickly pulled his arm away, allowing her to back into the corner of the seat. She gave him an amused look from behind her knees, as he struggled to compose himself. "Slytherin? But..." only then did he notice that she was laughing, and he settled back against the seat with a sigh, "Very funny. But seriously though, which one?"

"Knowing my luck, it´ll be Hufflepuff." Sirius raised an eyebrow almost sceptically and she rolled her eyes, "I don´t know! If you can find me a house that doesn´t require bravery, intelligence, hard work or cunning then that would be the one for me. Otherwise I´m pretty much at the mercy of the Sorting Hat aren´t I?"

Sirius was about answer when a familiar teasing voice derailed his train of thought, "That was quick Si, I don´t think you´ve ever pulled half an hour into the train journey before."

"Shut it Lily." he replied good-naturedly, though his ears went a bit red.

He introduced Carmeline to Lily Evans who waved cheerily, before crossing the compartment to referee James and Peter´s chess game.

"Oh, this is Avalon Parker," Sirius noticed Carmeline´s curious gaze and gestured to a tall, slender girl with silver streaks running through her dark hair. Avalon gave her a lazy salute, stretching out on the seat opposite her and Sirius, attempting to read Remus´ book over his shoulder, "and Joss Tournel."

Carmeline was about to greet her when she was stopped by the look on Joss´ face. She wore an expression that Carmeline could only call hatred, and it was directed straight at her.

**************

Soon the compartment was filled with the ringing of laughter and a buzz of chatter. Joss had stationed herself on the other side of Sirius and was doing her level best to draw all his attention away from Carmeline, which wasn´t too difficult considering that her shirt, or lack thereof, seemed to be inching lower with every passing minute.

Feeling out of place and trying to ignore the triumphant looks Joss shot her every so often, Carmeline rolled up the sleeves of her sapphire jumper and brought out her book once again to continue where she left off. Unfortunately, this had the effect of catching Sirius´ attention and he sat mesmerised by the motion of her pencil as it danced across the thick paper. Not even talk of the Quidditch World Cup could lure him back to Joss, and eventually she gave up, settling for flashing both of them death stares which they never even noticed.

Presently, there was a telling scrape of wheels in the corridor, and the plump, smiling face of a witch peeked around the doorway, "Anything from off the trolley dears?" she asked.

"Food!" exclaimed Sirius and James simultaneously, leaping from their seats. A few others followed and soon they had amassed a communal pile of sweets on one of the seats, conveniently placed on the other side of the compartment from Sirius and James.

"Good God, if I ate that much, I´d be the size of house." said Joss nastily, watching Carmeline tuck into a pumpkin pasty with evident relish.

Shortly, she was on the receiving end of Avalon´s stern, icy blue gaze and she quailed, lowering her eyes but offering no apology to Carmeline.

The rest of the journey passed quickly, too quickly for Carmeline. She would have preferred to stay here forever with these few people, than face the legions of Hogwarts students who would undoubtedly be displaying the same unthinking curiosity as Peter had earlier.

The train screeched to a halt and students began to descend into the icy mists that swirled around the platform. The group made their way to the horseless carriages that awaited them, setting off as soon as the door swung shut.

The ancient castle loomed on the horizon, bathed in gold against the night sky, beacon of hope to all wizard kind in dark times. Carmeline bowed her head in deference and acceptance. She hadn´t wanted to come to Hogwarts, especially when she was alone, but there was no way out now and she was determined to make the most of the two years she would have to spend here.

******

They were crossing the Entrance Hall, Carmeline gazing around in awe at the size of it, when Professor Lexion marched toward them.

"We didn´t do it." said Sirius automatically as she approached. Lexion stopped before them and gave him a weary look.

"What did you not do Mr Black?"

"Whatever it is that you are looking so severe about Professor." he stated, working on the basis that the Transfiguration teacher would not be speaking to them unless it was to punish them for a recent prank.

"I am actually here to see Miss White," she beckoned to Carmeline and took her to one side, explaining something in a low voice to her.

The Marauders struggled to catch what she said, but she was speaking too quietly. Carmeline paled and they heard her ask in an almost pleading voice, "Must I Professor?"

"I´m afraid it is the rules Miss White."

Carmeline nodded once, resignedly, and turned to the Marauders, "Catch you guys later...maybe." she walked away, following Professor Lexion in the opposite direction from the entrance to the Great Hall.

This is so humiliating.

Carmeline entered the Great Hall behind a train of nervous first years. She kept her eyes to the floor, hoping that no one would notice her.

Her mind wandered as, one by one, the first years were sorted into their respective houses, until finally - "White, Carmeline." Dumbledore stood up quickly, clearing his throat over the hissing whispers that had erupted in the hall. "I am pleased to welcome our new student, Carmeline White to Hogwarts. She will be joining 6^th year and I trust you will all make her feel at home." with that, he sat down again and Carmeline stepped forward to be sorted.

"She looks like she´s going to faint." muttered Sirius to James and Carmeline perched on the stool and pulled on the Sorting Hat, her eyes shut and teeth clenched.

Hmm, I can tell you are going to be a difficult one.

The Sorting Hat spoke softly in her ear. Loyalty comes in time, but you are distrusting. A ready wit indeed, but confidence in your own abilities is what you lack. Where to put you? Carmeline kept her mind completely blank, not choosing one House over another. Cunning...oh yes, quite the deceiver aren´t you? She flinched - Carmeline hadn´t known that the Hat could read everything in her mind. Your kind belong there, but I sense that you are different - you do not want to follow that path, and for you to succeed I cannot separate you from him. Carmeline had no idea what the Hat meant by it´s cryptic words, but as it seemed that she would not be put into Slytherin, she was too relieved to bother wondering.

GRYFFINDOR!

It´s shout sounded through the hall, prompting cheers from the Gryffindor table and the Marauders in particular.

She slid into a seat next to Lily, exhaling for what seemed to be the first time in minutes.

"What was that about Slytherin?" said Sirius with taunting grin, ducking as Carmeline flicked mashed potato at him.

Helping herself to bread and butter, Carmeline listened to the conversations going on around her - everything from Charms to Quidditch - and quietly observed her new Housemates. The Marauders, as she had heard them called, were extremely well-known for their pranks and Slytherin-baiting. Three Quidditch players, a guitarist, a flutist, a werewolf and...Peter. Carmeline sniggered to herself, lowering her eyes to avoid Sirius´ questioning gaze - she didn´t think he´d take kindly to anyone insulting his friends.

******

At length, the Gryffindors left the Hall and headed upstairs to the Tower. Stepping inside the Common Room, Carmeline looked around appreciatively at the squashy red armchairs and various tables that enabled students to do their homework in the room, all illuminated by a crackling fire in the grate.

Several staircases lead to the upper floors, and Lily pointed out which one was theirs. Carmeline wandered up the stairs, calling a vague goodnight to the other Marauders.

Reaching the dormitory, she quickly changed into her pyjamas and climbed into the bed that had been assigned as hers. Drawing the curtains around her, she mused on the day past. Finally, she was accepted for what she was, and for the first time in years, Carmeline felt that she was truly home.

The only thing that caused her a pang, was that Arren wasn´t there to share it with her. She lay down and pulled the coverlet over her. One day. He´ll fight back one day.

With that last thought, she fell into a deep and mercifully dreamless sleep.