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The diary of Draco Malfoy. Includes the red one (Ginny), misplaced kisses, fashion know all and Armani…lots of Armani. Enjoy!

Snape finds a mirror that contains a genie, but there's a catch...

Some people are just too cheap to shell out a few galleons for a wizard radio so I made a transcript of a recent broadcast, it concerns Harry’s old babysitter Mrs. Figg, the Weasley brothers, Draco’s new career, and the latest gadgets from the world of magic.

Summary: The Order meeting is rife with speculation about the identity of the "one-buttock" wonder, leading to some surprising disclosures. Starring Remus, Tonks and Sirius, supported ably by other Order members, risque dialogues and bad-arse jokes.

During the summer after his sixth year, Harry is forced to endure the wedding of the infamous Aunt Marge.

One Ravenclaw unburdens her heart to a piece of parchment, revealing fears, crushes, and her dislike of a certain bushy-haired genius.

Lily Evans and Remus Lupin meet in the prefects' bathroom and get into a discussion about various forms of monthly ailments.

[Originally written for the SevenOfQuills Christmas Challenge] How Sirius Met Caro.

When the Marauders find a spell that allows them to spy on whomever they want, how can they resist? But how will they find time for it, what with moonlight romances, Lucius Malfoy, and someone's undergarments?

What happens when Harry pulls a prank on Draco involving Draco's father? Well, Harry ends up getting more than he bargained for! Look for Snape's gay porno collection, Hermione as you've probably seen her in other fics and some snogging from Ron.

After Crouch's death, Percy accepts an offer for a teaching position and gets roped into a backwards production of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" that might just destroy the small bit of sanity he still bears.

Oh my! Lord Voldemort has just been defeated by Harry Potter again! As Voldemort begins plotting, Lucius and Wormtail become worried about their Dark Lord, who isn't acting like himself. All goes better when they begin to plan to cheer Voldemort up over his latest defeat over a bowl of Mai Tais - and what else?

Harry's waffle starts talking to him. The waffle does have an accent. Sorta crazy but cute.

Dumbledore--much to the dismay of several students--has decided to throw a Hallowe'en Masquerade Ball. The Trio, along with a few friends, are horrified at the prospect, and immediately resolve to do everything in their power to get out of going. Along the way, they make new friends, form strange alliances, and even find love. A tongue-in-cheek look at various fallacies within the fandom.

Harry has a short conversation with Hermione. Ron is missing so Hermione can say what she thinks, and knows. Written by somebody who hates Ron. Intensely.

Teens will be teens. Teens have some interesting ideas of what makes a guy desirable. And how does Hermione know what that implies? Ron being stupid, Hermione knowing too much and Harry just… there. Just so typical.

Revelations, reunions and a very annoying host. This is your Life, Harry Potter!!!

Ever wondered what it'd be like if Harry Potter was a secret agent? Or if James Bond was a wizard? No? Good, then I'm the only one deranged enough to think of it! This book shall chronicle the adventures of Jarry Ponder in his first year at Pigpimples School of Witchcraft and Gadgetry. What more do I need to say? It's got all your favorite characters- Mumblemore, \/01~~)3/\/®7, and of course Jarry himself.

Little-noticed second spoiler briefly appearing on AOL before the Ministry of Magic threatened an Unforgiveable Curse on the perpetrators.

"I'll go and talk to her, Harry," he promised. "I'll make her see reason... a Firebolt... a real Firebolt on our team... She wants Gryffindor to win as much as we do... I'll make her see sense. A Firebolt..." ``Oliver tries to convince McGonagall to give Harry his broom back.

George isn't speaking to Fred. How will he fix it?

Ron watches Harry and Hermione and decides to put a plan to set them up into action. Of course, Ron just might not be the best plan-former... but let's see if it works out! H/Hr.

Sometimes finding your soulmate can be a difficult business. In Severus Snape’s case, the process involves a defective timeturner, a slightly more rugged version of Tom Riddle, and the quest for a perfect vegetable marrow. As the champagne corks begin to pile up back at Hogwarts, Snape takes an involuntary dive into a flowerbed, sputters incoherently, and manages to rewrite history. In that order.

A misunderstood boy attempts to depart from the mortal realm (read: he throws himself off a tall object)...will he succeed, or will that special someone save his life?

An AU version of what might have happened on Hallowe\\\'en of book 1. Featuring a less passive Hermione and almost no feast.

Hermione, Ginny and Luna spend an evening at a village fair. Friendship fic.

Inspired by the Bert and Ernie Sing-Along LP! Casting Severus Snape as Bert and Harry Potter as Ernie! (Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street.) Warning: Harry is wildly OOC. Snape is fairly OOC.

Sequel to The Prime Minister's greatest shock. Jonathan Stewart has to cope with the fact that his daughter is a witch. May Stewart has to cope with the fact that she's not at all famous anymore, although she always swore she didn't care. In a time overshadowed by a Dark Lord rising back to power, how does the Prime Minister's daughter experience both sides - as a witch and Muggle? Lecture of the prequel recommended to get to know her father, but not necessary.

When Neville comes across a strange and interesting plant, will it bring him the girl of his dreams, or the destruction of the wizarding world? Romance, suspense, and hilarity blossom in this parody of the musical "Little Shop Of Horrors." Includes Neville/Ginny, Singing!Snape, a sexy Mandrake named GinnyII, and a very reluctant Trio as backup singers.

Sup yo? I be Hairy Pimper, in one of da four crackhouses of Ho-warts Elementary skoo. But mah rents, dey be mad stupid yo, dey don't understand whatta fine-ass biatch dey got fo' uh son. Like here, at da breakfast table, dey be all...

It's Harry's second year at Hogwarts, and Severus Snape continues to serve his years at Hogwarts. But students are getting frozen, and he's getting tired of being the one to solve everyone's problems. Featuring a lovely song from Professor Sprout. A parody of Boublil and Schonberg's musical "Les Miserables."

The final battle with a twist.

Tonks meets her young cousin Draco for the first time in less than auspicious circumstances.

During the final battle, Hermione accidentally saves the life of Lucius Malfoy. In order to free himself of the life debt, he finds himself helping her seek revenge.

Much awaited ~sequel~ to Provocative New Uniforms. Harry, Ron and Hermione meet Legolas, vain elf of the Woodland Realm!``It's not a requirement to read the first fic in this story, but if you don't, you may wonder why there are Mood underpants, abs, and W.C. (no, not the toilet) in this story.

The long-awaited (rolls eyes) sequel to "Sweet Little Sister." Ron and Hermione have finally stopped avoiding the issue and admitted that they are, in fact, completely in love with each other. Tonight, they visit the room of Requirement. Hey, two young people in love, a private room. What can go wrong? Absolutely everything! This is Ron and Hermione we're talking about. If you don't ship R/Hr, you're gonna really HATE this one!

Canon Draco stumbles into Muggle London, where he visits an Internet Cafe and discovers something very interesting.

Sirius and Remus decide to lighten up the Order's mood by doing a humourous little spoof of Harry and a dementor.

What happens when you throw five people and one house-elf into a surprisingly small room, complete with Harry Potter book one? Dark heavy rainclouds galore!!

An illustrious story of sex, holiday greenery, not so internal monologues, sex, gay, gay, gay, sex, gay sex, and attempted murder... did I mention the gay sex? And yes, it was induced by some very enjoyable peppermint tea.

Whumpf!! Harry Potter lands with a thump, right on top of a very disgruntled Draco Malfoy....

One day a parchment airplane bumped into Pansy's head - and survived. It read "I love you". Who wrote it? Was it meant for her?

Fred and George want to hook up Harry and Ginny so they make a love potion. ``But they ought to know that the use of love potions have become cliched and love potions are hardly drunk by the person for whom it is intended. ``H/G fluff

What would happen if the real-life friends of this particular author took over Harry Potter's world as the characters themselves? Craziness, nuclear missiles, and plenty of dark corners. What else is there, anyway?

Hermione and Ron get lost on their way to Harry's wedding. Ron makes a wrong turn, and Hermione gets angry.

Snape and McGonagall attempt to revive the Dueling Club at Hogwarts.

Harry Potter/Batman crossover! Harry Potter is kidnapped by the Joker--need I say more? Who will save the boy-who-lived? Find out next time; same time, same place.

Sirius Black is eighteen. That is good. He's just graduated from Hogwarts. That is good, too. He has recently been married. That is worse. He is going to have a baby. That is the worst thing possible! SBOC

Lily Potter doesn't like her middle name, until it crops up when she least expects it.

Did Harry force himself on a girl in the dungeon? Or is he really gay? Does anyone really know what's going on with him? Does Harry even know what he wants? Maybe it's not what he thinks he wants.

A gathering of the adventures of J and K. Pure craziness! Just a whole lot of laughs and fun!

Hehe, Snape is tricked into looking for Lupin. It didn't happen ``how you thought.

Lily and James Potter, an infamous couple, the parents of The Boy Who Lived, laid down their lives to protect him. Switch back to the past by a few years, and on the happiest day of his life, James Potter is trying to stealthily climb out the window and scarper off down the road...

What would it take for Snape to *give* points to Gryffindor... Find out! Mildly slashy. Very mildly slashy.

JK Rowling retires for a little while and the characters are stuck with a VERY STRANGE author. But things don't go out the way she planned...

Ever wondered what Harry Potter and his pals would say if they could read fan fiction? That's right, they'd probably sue for defamation of character. And just to ensure that event never happens, I have penned a letter for them that outlines precisely why we fan fiction writers are so unbearably cruel to them...

Aberforth Dumbledore's goats had their fair share of mishaps too, possibly even as magnificent as the fabled Harry Potter's! From discussions on just why Aberforth chased his goats in the field all day to bucking off angry fire-heads, Aberforth's goats led an incredible life.

Sirius's late-night adventures become, suddenly, more trouble than they're worth. Implied slash...but that's not the squicky part. You have been warned.

It's Christmas time and to honour this Draco made Ron a present. There is only one problem, Ron really likes it!

Seven Hogwarts students are afflicted with the seven deadly sins. Oh, the torment! Featuring Draco/coffee as the main ship. Seriously.

Harry finds a black box which HE thinks is a Karaoke box ... chaos abound when the Gryffindor boys decide to hold a Karaoke Night in their dorm! ``WARNING: May contain pink fluffy bunnies.

And before Harry could defended himself, Malfoy had spat angrily, "Well, damn your t00by woes, Potter." A look into the t00by thoughts of Harry Potter. Humour and implied H/D slash.

What happened between the time Sirius arrived at Remus's and the time he left to contact the old crowd? Written Pre-OotP

Remember in Professor Lupin's office in third year, when Remus gave Harry some butterbeer? Yes? Well just what WAS going on in that head? Inside: the inner workings of a werewolf's mind...

How many times, while you were reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, did you want to smack Umbridge? Well, for every time in Order of the Pheonix when this happened, I decided to write my own version of events. Like instead of walking away, Harry beats the crap out of the toad lady. I know if some of these things actually happened, it would ruin the plot... I was just having a bit of fun...

What really happened before the Chamber of Secrets was opened? A rigged broom race, an indecent proposal, Hermione gets the Curse, Hogwarts gets a Muggle professor, his Herbologist wife and their daughter, just back home from starting her Delivery Service...

One of the greatest child's bedtime stories comes back with a little bit of fur, sheep humping and cross-dressing

A question has been on the minds of Harry Potter fans everywhere: How will Harry defeat Voldemort? Looking for a theory that's completely illogical, totally improbable, and just plain silly? Here it is.

It was very late when I wrote this but I don't think that is an excuse...

Three decades after her days at Hogwarts, best-selling author G.M.Weaster (known in the wizarding world as Ginevra Molly Weasley-Potter) explains to a Muggle interviewer the inspiration behind her best-selling children's books...

The headmaster asks Snape a favor and out into the Muggle world he must tramp.

Hermione's in St. Mungo's, Sirius is in Milwaukee, Draco is in a coma, and darn near everyone is in love in this... er... soap opera.

In which Dumbledore is tactful, Snape throws things, Sirius discovers hidden talents, and Remus has doubts. It's just another day for the Order of the Phoenix.

Draco Malfoy finds love in a bathroom, and Dennis Creevey finds love in an even more unexpected place. Can our two heroes find a way to live with their true loves, or will fate break them apart? A parody of Rodgers' & Hammerstein's classic musical South Pacific.

Well, this is indeed from the desk of Draco Malfoy... and it ain't pretty. Apparently, he found this website and decided to bitch us all out. Here's his letter... yet another reason for you all to point and laugh at him! Don't you just love this guy?

The Marauders have an interesting discussion about what makes them pathetic.

The Wizarding World is turned upside down by a mysterious force. Harry is an evil mastermind, Hermione's a scarlet woman, Neville is a womanizing macho man and Voldy is suddenly scarily nice! It's up to JK Rowling to save the day... and the plot! WARNING: contains insane humor!

Welcome to Weirdo Talkshow! Join Mini, Patch, Tiny and Splat on an insanely OOC talkshow featuring SomewhatMentallyIll!Voldemort.

A parodyfic in which Hogwarts is blatantly cloned into a stereotypical American high school, Ron glowers in existentialistic gloom, Flitwick coaches basketball, and Harry... tries to adapt to it all.

When Tonks decides to bake cookies for Sirius, Remus places a wager that he can't lose.

The adventures of Lucius Malfoy and his cane.

What do you get when you introduce characters from the Lord of the Rings series into the Potterverse? A confusing, hilarious mess filled with dark curses and jealous looks. See if Harry, Ron and Hermione can help Frodo get back to Middle Earth. And what do Draco Malfoy and Voldemort have in common? Find out in this silly, funny parody where Dark Lords abound and no one's quite sure who's related to whom.

Here's my first fanfic. It takes place in the Owlery starring the animals of Hogwarts.

This is what happens when you read too much fan fiction. It's not pretty. Rated R for language and blatant stupidity. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll run away screaming. You'll ask to have my computer destroyed.

My take on Sleeping Beauty, while using and abusing the Harry Potter characters. Inn’t it fun? Ginny as the Princess, Harry as the Prince, and Draco is my way of giving the Grimm brothers a raspberry.

Sequel to Snape's New Look. Hermione has returned to Hogwarts, looking for revenge and a husband. Could the Hogwarts staff help Hermione out? Although there is no graphic sex, this story includes smutty humor and swearing, as well as mentions of homosexuality.

This fic involves the teachers and a game of truth-or-dare.

When George accidentally smashes the Snitch at a Quidditch match, the whole school goes into hysterics. Read it or George will smash you, too.

Draco Malfoy is stuck in a hole and decides he REALLY doesn't like Green veges and the colour black- read to see what results from these stunning revelations!

Insanity, insanity. What a word. Draco loses a bet with Ron, and ends up paying the consequences with his sanity.

Professor McGonagall gives counsel to each fifth-year Gryffindor. Here's a look at what each of seven redheads has to say.

Quirrell's turban has been misused, and he's not afraid to tell it! I bring you another METMA rant!

Hermione Granger; student by day, matchmaker by... er, day. She fixes up the most seemingly unlikely people. AND IT WORKS! Kind of.

The Marauder have a big booze up after flattening Slytherin in the Quidditch cup, unfortunatly, they wake to some horrific conseqences...

Straight from the book of fables to your computer! Maybe there is a good reason why the actual book characters don't have scripts to read!

Because Draco Malfoy is an oppressed little boy-- er-- man. Also known as `Draco's Foolproof Plan to Kill Potter Dead This Time.'

Doesn't it bother you when you want to ask the Harry Potter characters a question? We have a lot of them here! And the burning questions still stays open... is Lucius really gay?

Minerva McGonagall must once again teach the sex ed class for the sixth years. Exactly how will it go? A fic for the Sex Ed Challenge on the Minerva Magic Thread.

On a quest for hair gel, revenge, and a really good snog, Draco Malfoy, with only green M&M's to console him, begins to wonder if he has finally become too really really ridiculously good-looking. A ficlet in which Slytherins get crafty, though not as you might imagine, Hannah Abbot dreams of thongs, Ron goes pyro, Ginny saves the day, and in true Hollywood fashion, there are lots and lots of explosions.

A momentary lapse in concentration leads to a stressful few days for Harry Potter.