1,761 - 1,780 of 3,594 Stories

A few predictions give Severus Snape a new outlook on life.

You must read this parody, especially if you like seafood! It started as a normal morning at Hogwarts, then all hell broke loose. Featuring Confused!Ron and Insane!Harry. Sarcasm abounds, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll see Crabbe in leather pants, and find out Voldemort's true weakness. Features homage to LOTR, Princess Bride, Last of The Mohicans and many more. Co-Authored by Cindale and Ginnysdarkside.

Finally, there's an American at Hogwarts! Whoo-hoo! (AU.)

What happens when someone comes knocking on your door telling you your daughter is a witch? Mr Granger tells his story.

Small drabble. What if Harry and Draco were trapped in a broken elevator? Who walks away alive? Who is annoyed out of their wits?

Due to N.E.W.T. preparation classes, Hermione is once again using the Time Turner. This time, however, the others find out. They convince her to go on a little jaunt through the space-time continuum, with disastrous and hilarious results. Featuring sexy Slytherins, the Weasley red hair gene turning up in unexpected people, and a brief argument on how many times, exactly, Remus has read Hogwarts: A History.

The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Eudice Eusyram, is perfect, and now Snape is jealous! How will he get back at her? A spoof on Mary Sue fan fiction in the same mold as "Airplane!"

The characters of Harry Potter express their views on the books.

Harry finally gets his revenge on Draco, or does he? Harry catches Draco in an emotional state and captures it in a picture. Soon the whole school will know what Draco's true prized posession is. Will Harry's revenge work, or will it backfire?

Percy Weasley, the estranged son of the Weasley family, has made it big at last. Is he enjoying himself? You bet he is!

The last part of the Gryffindor Games! The Game of Life the sequel, sequel to Game of life, which is sequel to Truth or Dare the Sequel, which is Sequel to Truth or Dare. Ginny comes to play and an unexpected twist I praise myself for!

Remus Lupin has come across something thoroughly evil, but there is no way around it, he has to use it. It is... the sewing machine from hell (Weird fic, even when judged on my standards).

Dumbledore forces Sirius to sign a contract so that the teachers will return to school.

Draco is a 7th year while Ginny is a 6th year. They both show up for a transfiguration class that McGonagall is setting up and after an unfortunate incident when a 3rd years mouse is turned purple they are forced to work alone together. This is their day together: will they be able to avoid killing each other? Will they maybe have a conversation? Only time will tell...

Fred and George are ordered to repeat their seventh year properly, and neither of them is happy about this. With more pranks up their sleeves because of their booming business, they come to school wreaking havoc everywhere and angering quite a few. When Hermione threatens to stop their antics, she ends up in the line of fire on many of their pranks! Now, it's revenge and mayhem in store for sure… and of course one must remember that all is fair in love and war!

At the fifth-year bonding camping trip, everyone tells a story round the compfire. James' is about the future and is very familiar....

The musings of Petunia just a few days after baby Harry came to live with them.

Harry is trying to sleep, Ron and Hermione are fighting... Surprise visits inside!

Putting off studying for his O.W.L.s, Ron plays chess with his armless Krum action figure. The stakes? Whoever wins gets Hermione (or Hermioninny). A fluffy missing moment from OOTP.

I present to you the curtain that allows you all to read beyond the handsome face of Sirius Black, and into his very twisted, confusing and just plainly stupid mind.... MWPP and a devious plan.

Everything was going well until Draco Malfoy took a tumble and found himself facing God (Merlin was a little busy). Now there are halos to be sought and people to help out. Right?

Come in, come in, and welcome to my office. Please, take a seat on the New Zealand wool rug. I'm Malfoy, Detective Malfoy. Detective Draco Malfoy. How can I be of service? Ah... yes, my most recent case you want to hear about. Let's see here... It involved a mysterious, red-headed interior designer by the name of Virginia Weasley, a toaster with too many volts, and a seriously disturbed evil Dark Lord. Oh and my porsche. And Cap'n Crunch. Can't forget Cap'n Crunch. Yum.

Clippit, the arch enemy of all Microsoft Word users, finally gets his just rewards when he meets up with Draco Malfoy.

The Sorting Hat (Phinneus) is sick of spending all year just to write one song for one night to sing for a bunch of bratty teenagers. So the hat sings a song about himself for a change.

Remus and Sirius are sharing a flat after graduating. Sirius brings up a random topic: What if Remus was gay? Featuring the Avenue Q song 'If You Were Gay'.

What happens when two students overhear Snape and Sprout's conversation in the teachers' lounge?

Short, sweet, and to the point. Taking place post-HBP, a look into a long day in the lives of Remus and Tonks, as they work on Order business. Contains terrible poetry and haiku of equally dubious quality.

Rachel is in her fifth year at Hogwarts, she's a transfer from Willow Academy in Ontario. Harry Potter is madly in love with her, but Draco has his eyes on her as well. Who will she pick though? The loving, protective Harry, or the powerful, murderous Malfoy? Watch her opinion change numerous times through this journey of Love, Bravery, and Hope. Ron and Hermoine get together in this story, but will a fight or two keep them from love... forever?

For the first time ever, Harry gets the house at Privet Drive to himself for a few hours. Rather than trash the place, Harry decides to take a shower. In this short Fic, Harry must solve the terrible problem of what CD he's going to listen to while showering.

This RHPS track gets Potterized! (Katie/Marcus)

Voldemort gets amnesia and it goes downhill from there...

Cornelius Fudge. Lucius Malfoy. Two respectable pillars of the community, drawn together by a special bond. The love that dare not speak it's name. *Warning: These be slashy seas ahead, matey*

How many ships can one offend in one story? Let's see...an irreverent look at shipping before HbP.

Just a litte one shot fic in time for Christmas. A piece of pure fluff to give a smile. :) Fred wants to ask Angelina to the Yule Ball, but has no clue as to how she feels. Enter a prank gone wrong, a slumber party, and one fairytale of a book.

Snape lets something slip to Hermione that he would rather keep secret. Or does he mean to tell her? What is going on? (Hermione's PoV, one-sided S/Hr. Yes, it's strange.)

Not surprisingly, Harry had never expected flying pigs. H/D.

When the Slytherin seventh-years organise a bake sale, Professor McGonagall suspects something is wrong. The Slytherins have obviously gone quite mad. However, what she finds out almost gives her a heart attack. A rather ridiculous one-shot exploring Draco/Ginny.

Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione are working in the library, and notes start being passed about. Will Harry and Ginny confess their feeling for each other?

Madam Pomfrey leaves the infirmary in the capable hands of three of her esteemed colleagues while she visits her ill sister. With the Quidditch season yet to begin and no lessons over the weekend, what could possibly go wrong?

I was told that I would write a story about Narcissa, paired with Harry. It would involve latex, and end in an embarrassing revalation. Consider the following my one shot to take out the plot bunny that was released in my head. Hope you have as much fun reading it as I did hunting it down.

The summer after OotP, it's Harry's birthday party - DA members and``family present - when the conversation turns to the wizarding tradition of choosing an official motto. But Ron says something he shouldn't, Hermione explodes.... This is sweet, unadulterated, surprisingly entertaining R/H fluff. I've rarely enjoyed writing anything more.

Love, money, and Quidditch: three things that make the world go round. The wizarding world is caught up in the glamorous, hedonistic lives of those Quidditch stars vying for their place in the spotlight while old stars provide plenty of thrills and front-page tabloid material along the way. Sex, lies, deceit, drugs, all in a Quidditch day’s work. Shifting ships and slash.

What happens when Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Ron end up in the land of the cyclops? How did they get there? How do they get out of there? Harry Potter version of The Odyssey.

Coffee and a Muggle conspiracy cause Harry to fall in love with his worst enemy. Join him as he embarks on a journey of confusion, anger, depression, acceptance, and pure insanity. Read at your own risk.

There is a leak which seems likely to jeopardise the whole wizarding world. In order to assess and repair it, Snape, McGonagall, Hermione and Ron are sent to live as Muggles. The Muggles are fans of the popular Harry Potter books - little do they know the truth behind the fiction. Inspired by The Potion Master's Muse "The Witching Hour" Challenge.

It is the traditional Mary-Sue parody fic. What more can I say?

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's trusted friend and sidekick is always overlooked. Lucky for him, he stumbles across a potion that will make him irresistible ... but will he be happy with his new-found popularity? Laughs and romance abound!

Sue’ing where it ain’t never been Sue’d before! Charity Dagrun Gryon transfers to Hogwarts for sixth year; and seems awfully familiar with a place she’s never been before. Through a series of dreams it’s revealed to her she must go through the Veil to rescue the Founders of Hogwarts, and after that, everything goes horribly wrong. Time paradoxes like you’ve never seen before! Also featuring: the Malfoys as demons from across the Veil, Destinyless!Harry, Abused!Draco and Sir Gloat-A-Lot Slytherin. A must read for everyone who wants a break from the serious Sue!

Harry and Hermione discover why Ron's ears are blue, and Ron discovers much more than he wanted to about Ginny.

Draco likes chocolate. Draco likes chocolate a lot. So when Harry was in the hospital wing alone with his tons of chocolate from adoring fans, Draco couldnt help but want to pay him a visit. However, there were many problems with this. Find out what these are, how Draco overcomes them and if he gets Harry's chocolate. With appearances from most of the favourite Hogwarts cast. Harry/Draco.

All is well in Hermione's life, until she gets herself into detention with none other than Draco Malfoy. Another installment of the Inverted Boggart series.

The title says it all. This is a parody of the classic Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch...

Tonks goes through a short phase of styling hair.

The Marauders have left one hell of a legacy. Follow a single night of the Marauding Softpaws, Whitestripe, and Trigger as they play a simple yet effective trick.

Snape narrates the Ministry of Magic film, How Not to Be Seen.

A terrible day strikes both Harry and Draco as they enter a shop in Hogsmeade, whether on their own will or not you will have to see, each begins to appreciate the others life. Takes place in the sixth year disregarding other events.

Rita Skeeter meets Weird Al Yankovic's song "Watching Too Much Jerry Springer". The result? Total chaos!

You think SPEW was bad? Welcome to a whole other ballpark. When Hermione hears Remus talking about how he can't keep a job, she is determined to help him and tries to form SPHW: The Society for the Protection of Harmless Werewolves. However, she isn't exactly happy with her friend's reactions.

Post-OoP. When Lord Voldemort receives a mysterious package, the wizarding world is never the same. Total parody of HP fics, featuring: Angst!Harry, Slash!Lucius, Penitent!Voldie, & everyone's favorite, Mary Sue. Not to mention Evil!Floof.

Revenge is soooo sweet!

What happens when Harry, Ron and Hermione play the Goblet of Fire video game on PS2? Well, it might go something like this...

Are you tired of those fics that have the most insane ships EVER? Ships that if they happened would completely change the plot of the canon? Well I am. I, the evil authoress, send the HP characters on a journey, meeting people from other books/TV shows, to break an evil spell causing the maddest pairing ever. Hilarity ensues.

We all know how thoroughly BORING Divination is, but do we know what Ron is thinking when his mind starts to wander as he watches a certain classmate...?

Harry tries to do housework with magic, but it doesn't exactly work. slight HPDM.

Ever wanted to read a humor fic that was actually funny? Have you travelled far and wide, through tempest and fog, dune and grove, for the one story that would change your life forever? Look no further, weary wanderer, for the fic of your dreams is finally within reach. Get into the head of a 110-year-old centaur chieftain. He's led a largely sedantary life, bereft of much action and devoid of any fun whatsoever--until now.

Parody. Liek, ’Mia comes back to hogwars one September and is liek TOTALLY different and has her heart set on a special someone!!!111 How will the others react? Wait and see!!

‘Er…all of Sirius’s possessions are going to be inherited by Vague-Squiggle-That-Could-Begin-With-B Black?’ ‘It would appear so.’ Crossover with Black Books. In the summer just before the events of Harry's sixth year, Dumbledore is having a few problems with the terms of Sirius's will and Remus is sent to a small independent bookshop in Bloomsbury to sort things out. This is normally the point in a crossover summary where the phrase 'hilarity ensues' would be used, but I'm sure you can all make up your own minds as to whether it does or not without me telling you.

Why Hermione really wasn't certain Ron could pass a Muggle driving test.

A slashy send-up/spoof of The Princess Bride featuring Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Guess who's the Bride?

Well, Harry and Draco rent a house out for the Christmas Break and things get a little out of hand when melted chocolate and spoons come into play. And a random kid gets more than he wanted to see. Poor kid. I should have given him a name but I didn't wanna so there.

Harry, Draco, and an adventure featuring several kidnappings, Malfoy's Voice, and less biting than you'd expect under the circumstances. A twisted romance between Harry and Draco has sprung up, but Romance isn’t happy about it and has teamed up with Fate in an attempt to stage a hostile coup. The scenery is animate, Crabbe and Goyle are not, and plot, like the lottery, is something that happens to other people.

A covert operation is launched to retrieve Voldemort from Muggledom. But what do you call an operation that involves the hormonal saviour of wizardkind, his adenoidal comic side-kick, and their thinking hat wannabe bimbette; a harmless (mostly) werewolf, his canine friend and their clumsy associate; a snivelly wizard and a known felon? Surely,

It's quickly approaching NEWT exam time for the Hogwarts seventh years. Harry, Hermione, and Neville are taking Advanced Transfiguration with McGonagall, much to Neville's dismay. During a private practice lesson in the Room of Requirement, Neville casts a high level spell the wrong way, throwing the lives of a Head Girl, a Quidditch Captain, a Prefect, and himself out of order.

It's the week before Christmas, and festive fever has Hogwarts in the grip of a snogging epidemic. After another night prowling the corridors and seeing things they really didn't want to see, Remus and James hatch a plan to rectify the situation.

What happens when Harry Potter and Co. are locked in a room with only the Baudelaires and books for company?

It's only called 'stealing' if you don't plan on returning it...````Remus borrows Sirius' motorbike for a wee romp in the night, only to get a pinch more than he bargained for.

It's nearing Christmas at Hogwarts, but the year has been a little less than warm and toasty for the Hogwarts staff as they gather in the staff room for tea or, in some cases, a milkshake. Facing the dangers of Christmas--mistletoes and old classic Christmas tunes--they manage to confuse themselves with a horrific combination of irritability, Christmas spirit, and somber exhaustion.

Two madwomen. One fandom. No mercy.````That's right, this is a challenge. The worst.challenge.ever. Who will survive ``the orgy of sex, drugs and bad fantasy authors? Can Hermione get her groove back? ``Why is Ron reading Noam Chomsky? Will Harry ever get over the image of Aunt Petunia ``as a gangsta? Is it true that nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan? ``````What the hell is a bogan, anyway?````Avert your eyes, gentle reader. Hard-core reader, come on down! The price, as ``they say, is indeed right. It's rock bottom, as is the literary career of the ``author, who now needs to go have a good lie down.

Hair care products, manicures, shrieks of fear and weight-watching: all in a day of the life of Draco Malfoy. Written script-syle. Follow Draco from wake-up to bedtime, as he swaggers, screams, and admires his reflection through a day at school.

Harry eats too much of a mystery dish at dinner. Mayhem insues. This fic includes: pinning the cast of Harry Potter and JKR to a crazed fan's wall, a daring rescue and hilarious circumstances, foriegn exchange students, Ron's cousin, the Harry Potter book collection, baboons on flying goats (don't ask), Darth Vader's stunt double, the Monkees, the Beatles, exploding Ron, and a french fry up someone's nose. Rated PG because there's nothing worse than that in it, but so wierd that no one really ought to read it.

This is Monsters Inc, HP style! Draco is Randall, Harry is Sulley, Ron is Mike, and Hermione is Boo! Also featuring various cameo appearances! Just look on in!

Unapologetic silliness featuring IC-Nanny!Snape and Vernon Dursley II. A result of an unfortunate drabbling accident that resulted in Dudley Dursley being permitted to breed.

Lucius Malfoy is turning 19, and trying to decide how best to woo the girl of his dreams. Lucius/Narcissa.

The sign on the door read ‘Midnight Opening for sales of the new Muggle book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Read the fifth book in the series showing how Muggles see us.’ Judging by the length of the queue, which snaked a long way down Diagon Alley, a lot of wizards did want to read it, and as soon as they could. Eavesdrop on the discussion in Diagon Alley as witches and wizards wait to see how they\\\'re portrayed in Order of the Phoenix.

Harry gets sick and only one person ``can make it better. Fluff, H/D.

It's October 31, 1986 and the Dursleys are determined to provide a nice, normal Halloween for their Duddykins. Of course, it's also the anniversary of the Potters' deaths...

A short story in which Ron and Harry (mostly Harry) confront mood-swing!Hermione.

Another ball is approaching (what a surprise!!) and this time it\'s to take place at Halloween. The twins are up to no good, Ron and Ginny are at war, Hermione is confused and Harry vanishes. So, without further ado, here is the set of e-mails between the group leading up to this \

Voldemort seeks immortality, but Death comes for everyone. Crossover with Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Robin Leach does a Life Styles of the Rich and Famous episode on The Riddle House, and is thoroughly delighted by its contents. Featuring "Eeeevil" ice skates and a surprise appearance by Lucius Malfoy wearing and doing something so sinfully delicious, I can’t list it here. PLUS an enlightening conversation about the Truffle Shuffle. Come and see the home of “Bad Boy of the Wizarding World”

Hermione goes crazy and starts a new religion with some pretty interesting requirements.

Not all first kisses actually happen. Some are avoided at all costs. Because some are very rude. Takes place in the same universe as The Seduction of Severus Snape.

Three inexperienced and seemingly random Muggle girls begin their quest to become the most powerful witches in the world and somehow manage to do so with...uh, unanticipated insanity.

There's one word for it and that's scary. Never attempt to write a story when you're not fully sober, and this poor fellow has.

Ginny throws Harry over for, of all people, Millicent Bulstrode. Harry doesn't mind; he likes Bulstrode, but he doesn't know how to break it to the kids. Widower Draco Malfoy runs The Hogsman, a sort of gentleman's club for Hogwarts Alumni of the male variety and here, they run into each other once more.

Yep! That's right! Harry, Ron, Teachers, Malfoy, Hedwig... ok, the ones with teeth. Why? I just got braces today and it is NOT FUN! Oh well...````Note: I wrote this in June.

Ever wondered about some of the more amusing uses of floo powder?

Enter Chorus````Chorus. See herein the tale``Of sisters ambitious and bold:``Twain hearts bound together as one``Through star-cross’d circumstance``And fate-twisted trials of old.````Evil that would destroy the world,``They’d stand tall to face it down.``Foolish in their confidence their trials would them drown’d.``But hope yet lives and fate they may defy,``If walls built throughout the years can only be torn down.````Acquaintances must be held close``Knit tightly soul to soul;``Or darkness may dim``The sun-lit sky``From wishing gone awry.````Hark, hark, and watch as the tale unfolds.

SLASH! PARODY! Vampire!Draco is on the prowl. But will his whooping cough prevent him from seducing The Boy Who Lived?

James decides to hold a party. But Peter sees dead people, Remus has a revelation, Sirius is easily distracted, and Lily seems to speak only in questions. What will their reaction be to the announcement he's about to make?