1,841 - 1,860 of 3,594 Stories

This is Monsters Inc, HP style! Draco is Randall, Harry is Sulley, Ron is Mike, and Hermione is Boo! Also featuring various cameo appearances! Just look on in!

Unapologetic silliness featuring IC-Nanny!Snape and Vernon Dursley II. A result of an unfortunate drabbling accident that resulted in Dudley Dursley being permitted to breed.

Lucius Malfoy is turning 19, and trying to decide how best to woo the girl of his dreams. Lucius/Narcissa.

The sign on the door read ‘Midnight Opening for sales of the new Muggle book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Read the fifth book in the series showing how Muggles see us.’ Judging by the length of the queue, which snaked a long way down Diagon Alley, a lot of wizards did want to read it, and as soon as they could. Eavesdrop on the discussion in Diagon Alley as witches and wizards wait to see how they\\\'re portrayed in Order of the Phoenix.

Harry gets sick and only one person ``can make it better. Fluff, H/D.

It's October 31, 1986 and the Dursleys are determined to provide a nice, normal Halloween for their Duddykins. Of course, it's also the anniversary of the Potters' deaths...

A short story in which Ron and Harry (mostly Harry) confront mood-swing!Hermione.

Another ball is approaching (what a surprise!!) and this time it\'s to take place at Halloween. The twins are up to no good, Ron and Ginny are at war, Hermione is confused and Harry vanishes. So, without further ado, here is the set of e-mails between the group leading up to this \

Voldemort seeks immortality, but Death comes for everyone. Crossover with Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Robin Leach does a Life Styles of the Rich and Famous episode on The Riddle House, and is thoroughly delighted by its contents. Featuring "Eeeevil" ice skates and a surprise appearance by Lucius Malfoy wearing and doing something so sinfully delicious, I can’t list it here. PLUS an enlightening conversation about the Truffle Shuffle. Come and see the home of “Bad Boy of the Wizarding World”

Hermione goes crazy and starts a new religion with some pretty interesting requirements.

Not all first kisses actually happen. Some are avoided at all costs. Because some are very rude. Takes place in the same universe as The Seduction of Severus Snape.

Three inexperienced and seemingly random Muggle girls begin their quest to become the most powerful witches in the world and somehow manage to do so with...uh, unanticipated insanity.

There's one word for it and that's scary. Never attempt to write a story when you're not fully sober, and this poor fellow has.

Ginny throws Harry over for, of all people, Millicent Bulstrode. Harry doesn't mind; he likes Bulstrode, but he doesn't know how to break it to the kids. Widower Draco Malfoy runs The Hogsman, a sort of gentleman's club for Hogwarts Alumni of the male variety and here, they run into each other once more.

Yep! That's right! Harry, Ron, Teachers, Malfoy, Hedwig... ok, the ones with teeth. Why? I just got braces today and it is NOT FUN! Oh well...````Note: I wrote this in June.

Ever wondered about some of the more amusing uses of floo powder?

Enter Chorus````Chorus. See herein the tale``Of sisters ambitious and bold:``Twain hearts bound together as one``Through star-cross’d circumstance``And fate-twisted trials of old.````Evil that would destroy the world,``They’d stand tall to face it down.``Foolish in their confidence their trials would them drown’d.``But hope yet lives and fate they may defy,``If walls built throughout the years can only be torn down.````Acquaintances must be held close``Knit tightly soul to soul;``Or darkness may dim``The sun-lit sky``From wishing gone awry.````Hark, hark, and watch as the tale unfolds.

SLASH! PARODY! Vampire!Draco is on the prowl. But will his whooping cough prevent him from seducing The Boy Who Lived?

James decides to hold a party. But Peter sees dead people, Remus has a revelation, Sirius is easily distracted, and Lily seems to speak only in questions. What will their reaction be to the announcement he's about to make?

Gift to krazi little aus. James survived that tragic night and is very overprotective of his only son. Not to mention obsessive, compulsive, and extremely paranoid as well. Poor Harry.

Set in GoF, this story is a light-hearted introspection by Sirius as he meets the trio in the cave above Hogsmeade. Involves discussion on chicken, rats, Madam Rosmerta, chicken, animagi, snogging, and I did mention chicken, didn't I?

First, it was just an untimely Halloween Ball during Voldemort's rise to power. Then, Malfoy starts to act funny (i.e., asking Hermione for a date, wanting to be part of the D.A., and hanging around too much with Harry Potter), and everyone just marvels at how much the great Harry Potter could take from him. ``Everyone wonders what has happened to Malfoy. Is he even the real Malfoy? Or is he someone from Gryffindor, disguised as Malfoy, and has a long time crush on Hermione? Possibilities are endless.

When Ginevra Weasley was assigned as the assistant to the Head of International Cooperation, she never imagined that she would be working for the same man whom she loved harassing every morning at a small cafe. Chronicling her life through means of another diary, this time a trustworthy one, Ginny has an interesting life, filled with biscotti-throwing, twitching, meddling mothers, and all-around craziness. Read her crazy, inner thoughts and enter a world where everything is completely random and ‘Spiffy Cool’ needs a patent.

Florean Fortescue has his annual Ice Cream Eating Contest. Will the champions for six years running win? Or will a newcomer oust them from their title and take the Golden Cup and the 1971 Ice Cream Eating Champ title?

Second-years are not allowed to visit Hogsmeade ... so what was Dennis Creevey doing at the D.A. meeting in the Hog’s Head? And however will he explain himself to Professor McGonagall without betraying the D.A.?

Ever wonder what would happen when Harry, Ron, and Hermione decide to go to the movies? Crossover between HP, LOTR, and Star Wars. Beware of drugs, dredlocks, and pictures of Oliver Wood dressed in a tiger suit. Plus, a heated game of Mine's Longer! These and other various odd things ensue whilst reading this not-so-classic adventure of love, lust, and all-around really bad things!

Ginny is sitting in the library doing some homework when she is passed a note from Draco. Warning - gets a little silly!!

When Harry Potter went to the Scar convention he was in for a big surprise. Meet a few friends along the way and see if you can spot your scar...

Hermione discovers a certain book and decides it's her duty to fight the patriarchy and expose 'the problem that has no name' to witches everywhere. Harry decides that Hermione has gone insane. Ron agrees.

Future Hogwarts Founders Rowena and Helga have decided to test the assumption that cats always land on their feet; however, they have great difficulty in getting one of their human test subjects to cooperate.

Ginny and Luna start a happy business selling quills that fight each other, but soon the business turns into a twisted power play of theivery and bribery...

Ever wondered how Earth was created? Well, this fic can't help you there, but it is a comedy, so lighten your sense of reality with a one-shot scene of the initiation of the fourth and final member of Marauders Incorporated: "that weird quiet kid."

Harry goes to visit Ron at the Burrow. In his time at the house, Harry finds letters stashed in various places in the house that reveal Ron's true feelings for Hermione. Will Harry be violently sick? Will he be traumatised for the rest of his life? Read this and see...

An owl post from James to... well, to whom it may concern... regarding the unfortunate result of a series of pranks. Revenge is sweet.

The my newest works from Chicago. Both parodies, one more of a songfic, one funny and truthful. Umbridge and Fudge sing about what to do with Dumbledore. Ron wonders if he'll ever measure up to those around him.

A narration of how Tonks nearly failed her Auror Stealth and Tracking test.

When Madam Hooch gets a new job as Head Coach of the Tornadoes, they must find a new Quidditch teacher, and everybody's favorite magical nanny gets the job, to the horror of the Quidditch team.

MWPP decide to make an audio diary of their lives at Hogwarts!

Marauder-time, fourth year: Black and Snape are staying at Hogwarts over Christmas. Home alone. Paranoia ensues. Featuring: James Potter and Lucius Malfoy. And what's the square root of 327 anyhow?

During fifth year, Sirius Black keeps a journal in which he chatters about House-Elf literacy, writes about his friends, and overcomes apostrophe issues.

It is a late night at the library, and all is not well for Draco Malfoy and the Potions homework that is due in a few hours. Of course, it all goes downhill from there.

Draco Malfoy has many of life's tough little problems, but the one which bothers him most (for some strange reason), is that stupid Potter always wins at Quidditch. So he tries a secret practice, and it ends up that Ginny Weasley teaches him a few things.

Sequel to Chocolate Butterbeer. Dean finds Harry and Draco snogging by the one-eyed witch, and attempts to "save" Harry. Harry thinks Dean is trying to steal Draco, and hilarity ensues...

Voldemort, newly restored to his body, decides to move in to Riddle Manor, and what better thing to do than have a Death Eater housewarming party? Drunkenness and karaoke follow shortly.

What do the under-used characters do when they are not sitting at the high table, handing out homework, or catching students involved in mind-boggling carnal acts? Here is their answer to that question.

This is Hermione's Diary. Keep that in mind while reading, it is her diary... meaning nobody will read it and she does not outwardly express these feelings or thoughts!!! So I guess you'd say it's a bit OOC...?

Picture only this... Lockhart serenading Snape to the tune of "Rubber Ducky" in his birthday suit. Scared yet?

Draco needs a date. Ginny makes a bet. Add one bottle of Sickleberry Rum (‘your inhibitions gone in six sips, guaranteed!’) and shake well for best results.

Harry, Ron, and Draco head out to the Hog's Head for a humble drink between friends... but without Hermione's permission... What happens when Harry and Ron are all-out drunk, full to the brim with alcohol, and Draco has to get them back to Hogwarts?``PG for mushy hangovers.

AU. Due to the Burrow collapsing, the whole Weasley family are temporarily living at Hogwarts. How does Hogwarts cope in the sticky hands of the two-year-old Weasley twins?

Do not read if you ar opposed to sex with object/squirrels, Uncle Vernon's sex life, or naked old men. Otherwise, enjoy!

Voldemort was just defeated! Can we say party? Ginny certainly can when in the wee hours of the night she whips out a bottle of truth serum... what will happen next?

What happens when MTV decides to prank the wizarding world for their game show Boiling Points?

Ever wondered what would happen if certain characters in Harry Potter were forced to substitute the position of an advice columnist? No? Well, now it's happened anyway. Characters featured include (but not limited to) Draco (this chapter), Fleur, Harry and Snape! Even submit your questions to any of the characters; they may or may not reply. Hey, you never know.

The Hogwarts ghosts: Nearly-Headless Nick, the Bloody Baron, the Grey Lady, the Fat Friar, Moaning Myrtle, Peeves... and Sirius Black?!

"She turned me into a newt! I got better..."

This is a basic Yule Ball fic featuring a certain Slytherin couple. Only one Gryffindor was harmed in the making of this fanfic.

James and Sirius both have one and Remus doesn't see why he shouldn't have one too! A 7th year Marauders tale of face fungus and revenge!

All incoming seventh years are sent to Hogwarts in July to complete their assignments, which will be the most difficult situation for each of them! Includes blue toilet water, tea parties, Hogwarts invasion, denied promotion, Voldemort in a hula outfit, evil three year olds, terrible grades, spiders, and Timothy Facade.

In which Sirius has a problem and Remus tries to help.

Mary-Sue Potter has come to Hogwarts, inspiring questions: Who is she? What's her secret? And why doesn't she have violet eyes? (Parody)

Why does Petunia REALLY hate Lily? Could it be due to plans going amiss? And why is Severus involved? Can James dance? A One shot fun piece.

Hermione, home on summer holiday, explores the internet and stumbles upon a fan fiction site.

Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy...

It\'s Hermione Granger\'s turn to take up the quill and to write her own confession. There are some things you certainly did not know about Hogwarts\' bushy-haired prodigy.

Hagrid's magic "umbrella" from the first book has a few things to say to his enslaver!

Who's with whom? A fic about what happens if you belong to every SHIP (which I don't).

Hermione and Ron are engaged and in love. Hermione decides, at dinnertime, to ask Ron about having a baby. Ron concedes, of course. Nine months later... Hermione's screaming her head off in St. Mungo's while awaiting the arrival of their new addition.

It's Christmas at Hogwarts, and some of the students can't help singing. Five Gryffindors and a couple of Slytherins get mixed up in Bohemian Rhapsody whilst figuring out their own problems.

Scene: the Black family home. Harry is sitting at the kitchen table perusing a copy of the Daily Prophet, scratching Crookshanks between the ears whilst he stands on top of the table enjoying a saucer of milk.``The front-page headline of the Daily Prophet reads: There is no news to report. There will be no news to Report tomorrow either. There will be no news to report until the publication of book six. thank you for keeping your subscription current with us anyway.``Harry (muttering quietly to himself while he sips his tea): No news is good news. (He turns the page) I wonder what the personal ads will say. Oh, here’s one from Fred and George.

Ginny thinks after the Quidditch Final of Harry, Michael, Quidditch and the wonders of being a Gryffindor Girl!

For about one line, Ms. Rowling mentions the top-secret Department of Mysteries. The story is thus: the Backsliders, an extremely secret and powerful team of the most powerful witches and wizards on the planet, have been brought together once again, and maybe for the last time. Be forewarned: the characters are brand new--though, of course, HP and the gang are at the center. It's comedy, drama, romance, suspence and malaria all rolled up into a big sticky taco!

Sirius, James, and Peter find out Remus's secret...just NOT the one they are going for. You see, Remus has this strange new obsession with...Quakers.

This is the classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood starring Hermione as Little Red Riding Hood and Lupin as the wolf.

Have you ever wondered what happened after Harry left McGonagall and Umbridge alone, after his career councelling session? Here is my idea of what might have happened.

There are just so many detention fics that result in Harry and Draco getting together. They argue, they fight, they get together. It’s always the same thing. So here’s my little story about their 59th detention together and what it resulted in.

Ride shotgun with the Ministry of Magic's finest, as they hunt Dark Wizards, frame innocent Muggles, and drink tea with Voldemort. Hosted by Sheriff John Bunnell.

Harry and Ron have always been a little different. In their seventh year, they want a shot at being normal. And what better way to be normal than to form a rock band? The only problem is that they need a drummer. When putting up fliers around the school, Malfoy trickery abounds and Harry and Ron end up in an unexpected and undesirable circumstance: they are now in a rock band with Malfoy - of their own choice. Will they stay together? Will Ron and Harry strangle Malfoy with his own drumsticks? Will they stick Malfoy's drumsticks where the sun don't shine?

The situation is well-known to all women. None of us likes it, but nobody avoids it. Nor does Ginny. But a special incident makes her see the fun of it.

The Ministry of Magic itself is attacked by Lord Voldemort's minions and the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister finds herself saved by the last person she expected. No ships, no slash.

It's Draco Malfoy's ten year reunion. He's looking forward to much gloating, and showing off. Only, when he gets there, he's in for a big surprise.

Professor Snape comes back to school with a rather interesting change in his appearance. Chaos ensues.

Just a short little thing.

King Arthur will return, with Merlyn at his side, to fight evil. But nobody ever said anything about the rest of his court. What on earth is going on at Hogwarts?

Hermione needs Neville to help her with the ingredients to a very special spell.

A random one-shot in which no one is "sane" except Neville. Includes slash, schizophrenia, a tea party, and a superhero. The characters are just messed up and nothing like they are in the books.

This is absolute parody, and was written well before "half-blood prince" was announced as book six's title. A house-elf from South London? Illegal whiskey production? And what in the world are Sunless Wizards? Welcome to the weirdest AU ever...

Meet Draco Malfoy-Potter, the housewife.

Did you ever wonder what pet young Master Snape had in his first year at Hogwarts? Find out in this little one-shot, featuring Snape, Professor McGonagall and ...

Is there a Pureblood wizard who truly loves computers? Yes, there is, and I'm not speaking about Arthur Weasley. Of course he won't miss out in a story concerning his great passion, but in first place it's his daughter who discovers her love for certain hexed Muggle items.

Dean Thomas is having an awful day. Follow him through it and see what happens.

Hello! My name is George Weasley and with the help of AlmightyTonaya, I am going to tell you how I, and maybe Fred, invented the Ever-Flying-Cold-No-Matter-What Snowball.

Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream, Hogwarts style. Unfortunately, Dumbledore seems to be the only one willing to follow the script....

A songfic to "Macho Man" by The Village People... Draco as a biker, Ron as a soldier, Blaise as an Indian, Neville as a construction worker, Harry as a policeman and Dean as a cowboy. ``And despite all the little jokes in here, none of them are gay! Well, perhaps Neville is. :P The guys get together at the end of their seventh year and give a show for some of the girls at Hogwarts.

Find out how Tom deals with a hormonal Ginny, who also has an addiction to Belgian chocolates.

A dull boring trip to his parents' house is the start of a great adventure.

Aunt Petunia's been keeping a secret from her family.

Draco's gotta go - now! Join him in his adventure to find the lavatory, and stick with him for the surprise ending twist!

Harry goes to the magical school of magical magic (Hogwarts) for another Harry year.