1,821 - 1,840 of 3,594 Stories

What happens when Harry, Ron and Hermione play the Goblet of Fire video game on PS2? Well, it might go something like this...

Are you tired of those fics that have the most insane ships EVER? Ships that if they happened would completely change the plot of the canon? Well I am. I, the evil authoress, send the HP characters on a journey, meeting people from other books/TV shows, to break an evil spell causing the maddest pairing ever. Hilarity ensues.

We all know how thoroughly BORING Divination is, but do we know what Ron is thinking when his mind starts to wander as he watches a certain classmate...?

Harry tries to do housework with magic, but it doesn't exactly work. slight HPDM.

Ever wanted to read a humor fic that was actually funny? Have you travelled far and wide, through tempest and fog, dune and grove, for the one story that would change your life forever? Look no further, weary wanderer, for the fic of your dreams is finally within reach. Get into the head of a 110-year-old centaur chieftain. He's led a largely sedantary life, bereft of much action and devoid of any fun whatsoever--until now.

Parody. Liek, ’Mia comes back to hogwars one September and is liek TOTALLY different and has her heart set on a special someone!!!111 How will the others react? Wait and see!!

‘Er…all of Sirius’s possessions are going to be inherited by Vague-Squiggle-That-Could-Begin-With-B Black?’ ‘It would appear so.’ Crossover with Black Books. In the summer just before the events of Harry's sixth year, Dumbledore is having a few problems with the terms of Sirius's will and Remus is sent to a small independent bookshop in Bloomsbury to sort things out. This is normally the point in a crossover summary where the phrase 'hilarity ensues' would be used, but I'm sure you can all make up your own minds as to whether it does or not without me telling you.

Why Hermione really wasn't certain Ron could pass a Muggle driving test.

A slashy send-up/spoof of The Princess Bride featuring Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Guess who's the Bride?

Well, Harry and Draco rent a house out for the Christmas Break and things get a little out of hand when melted chocolate and spoons come into play. And a random kid gets more than he wanted to see. Poor kid. I should have given him a name but I didn't wanna so there.

Harry, Draco, and an adventure featuring several kidnappings, Malfoy's Voice, and less biting than you'd expect under the circumstances. A twisted romance between Harry and Draco has sprung up, but Romance isn’t happy about it and has teamed up with Fate in an attempt to stage a hostile coup. The scenery is animate, Crabbe and Goyle are not, and plot, like the lottery, is something that happens to other people.

A covert operation is launched to retrieve Voldemort from Muggledom. But what do you call an operation that involves the hormonal saviour of wizardkind, his adenoidal comic side-kick, and their thinking hat wannabe bimbette; a harmless (mostly) werewolf, his canine friend and their clumsy associate; a snivelly wizard and a known felon? Surely,

It's quickly approaching NEWT exam time for the Hogwarts seventh years. Harry, Hermione, and Neville are taking Advanced Transfiguration with McGonagall, much to Neville's dismay. During a private practice lesson in the Room of Requirement, Neville casts a high level spell the wrong way, throwing the lives of a Head Girl, a Quidditch Captain, a Prefect, and himself out of order.

It's the week before Christmas, and festive fever has Hogwarts in the grip of a snogging epidemic. After another night prowling the corridors and seeing things they really didn't want to see, Remus and James hatch a plan to rectify the situation.

What happens when Harry Potter and Co. are locked in a room with only the Baudelaires and books for company?

It's only called 'stealing' if you don't plan on returning it...````Remus borrows Sirius' motorbike for a wee romp in the night, only to get a pinch more than he bargained for.

It's nearing Christmas at Hogwarts, but the year has been a little less than warm and toasty for the Hogwarts staff as they gather in the staff room for tea or, in some cases, a milkshake. Facing the dangers of Christmas--mistletoes and old classic Christmas tunes--they manage to confuse themselves with a horrific combination of irritability, Christmas spirit, and somber exhaustion.

Two madwomen. One fandom. No mercy.````That's right, this is a challenge. The worst.challenge.ever. Who will survive ``the orgy of sex, drugs and bad fantasy authors? Can Hermione get her groove back? ``Why is Ron reading Noam Chomsky? Will Harry ever get over the image of Aunt Petunia ``as a gangsta? Is it true that nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan? ``````What the hell is a bogan, anyway?````Avert your eyes, gentle reader. Hard-core reader, come on down! The price, as ``they say, is indeed right. It's rock bottom, as is the literary career of the ``author, who now needs to go have a good lie down.

Hair care products, manicures, shrieks of fear and weight-watching: all in a day of the life of Draco Malfoy. Written script-syle. Follow Draco from wake-up to bedtime, as he swaggers, screams, and admires his reflection through a day at school.

Harry eats too much of a mystery dish at dinner. Mayhem insues. This fic includes: pinning the cast of Harry Potter and JKR to a crazed fan's wall, a daring rescue and hilarious circumstances, foriegn exchange students, Ron's cousin, the Harry Potter book collection, baboons on flying goats (don't ask), Darth Vader's stunt double, the Monkees, the Beatles, exploding Ron, and a french fry up someone's nose. Rated PG because there's nothing worse than that in it, but so wierd that no one really ought to read it.

This is Monsters Inc, HP style! Draco is Randall, Harry is Sulley, Ron is Mike, and Hermione is Boo! Also featuring various cameo appearances! Just look on in!

Unapologetic silliness featuring IC-Nanny!Snape and Vernon Dursley II. A result of an unfortunate drabbling accident that resulted in Dudley Dursley being permitted to breed.

Lucius Malfoy is turning 19, and trying to decide how best to woo the girl of his dreams. Lucius/Narcissa.

The sign on the door read ‘Midnight Opening for sales of the new Muggle book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Read the fifth book in the series showing how Muggles see us.’ Judging by the length of the queue, which snaked a long way down Diagon Alley, a lot of wizards did want to read it, and as soon as they could. Eavesdrop on the discussion in Diagon Alley as witches and wizards wait to see how they\\\'re portrayed in Order of the Phoenix.

Harry gets sick and only one person ``can make it better. Fluff, H/D.

It's October 31, 1986 and the Dursleys are determined to provide a nice, normal Halloween for their Duddykins. Of course, it's also the anniversary of the Potters' deaths...

A short story in which Ron and Harry (mostly Harry) confront mood-swing!Hermione.

Another ball is approaching (what a surprise!!) and this time it\'s to take place at Halloween. The twins are up to no good, Ron and Ginny are at war, Hermione is confused and Harry vanishes. So, without further ado, here is the set of e-mails between the group leading up to this \

Voldemort seeks immortality, but Death comes for everyone. Crossover with Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Robin Leach does a Life Styles of the Rich and Famous episode on The Riddle House, and is thoroughly delighted by its contents. Featuring "Eeeevil" ice skates and a surprise appearance by Lucius Malfoy wearing and doing something so sinfully delicious, I can’t list it here. PLUS an enlightening conversation about the Truffle Shuffle. Come and see the home of “Bad Boy of the Wizarding World”

Hermione goes crazy and starts a new religion with some pretty interesting requirements.

Not all first kisses actually happen. Some are avoided at all costs. Because some are very rude. Takes place in the same universe as The Seduction of Severus Snape.

Three inexperienced and seemingly random Muggle girls begin their quest to become the most powerful witches in the world and somehow manage to do so with...uh, unanticipated insanity.

There's one word for it and that's scary. Never attempt to write a story when you're not fully sober, and this poor fellow has.

Ginny throws Harry over for, of all people, Millicent Bulstrode. Harry doesn't mind; he likes Bulstrode, but he doesn't know how to break it to the kids. Widower Draco Malfoy runs The Hogsman, a sort of gentleman's club for Hogwarts Alumni of the male variety and here, they run into each other once more.

Yep! That's right! Harry, Ron, Teachers, Malfoy, Hedwig... ok, the ones with teeth. Why? I just got braces today and it is NOT FUN! Oh well...````Note: I wrote this in June.

Ever wondered about some of the more amusing uses of floo powder?

Enter Chorus````Chorus. See herein the tale``Of sisters ambitious and bold:``Twain hearts bound together as one``Through star-cross’d circumstance``And fate-twisted trials of old.````Evil that would destroy the world,``They’d stand tall to face it down.``Foolish in their confidence their trials would them drown’d.``But hope yet lives and fate they may defy,``If walls built throughout the years can only be torn down.````Acquaintances must be held close``Knit tightly soul to soul;``Or darkness may dim``The sun-lit sky``From wishing gone awry.````Hark, hark, and watch as the tale unfolds.

SLASH! PARODY! Vampire!Draco is on the prowl. But will his whooping cough prevent him from seducing The Boy Who Lived?

James decides to hold a party. But Peter sees dead people, Remus has a revelation, Sirius is easily distracted, and Lily seems to speak only in questions. What will their reaction be to the announcement he's about to make?

Gift to krazi little aus. James survived that tragic night and is very overprotective of his only son. Not to mention obsessive, compulsive, and extremely paranoid as well. Poor Harry.

Set in GoF, this story is a light-hearted introspection by Sirius as he meets the trio in the cave above Hogsmeade. Involves discussion on chicken, rats, Madam Rosmerta, chicken, animagi, snogging, and I did mention chicken, didn't I?

First, it was just an untimely Halloween Ball during Voldemort's rise to power. Then, Malfoy starts to act funny (i.e., asking Hermione for a date, wanting to be part of the D.A., and hanging around too much with Harry Potter), and everyone just marvels at how much the great Harry Potter could take from him. ``Everyone wonders what has happened to Malfoy. Is he even the real Malfoy? Or is he someone from Gryffindor, disguised as Malfoy, and has a long time crush on Hermione? Possibilities are endless.

When Ginevra Weasley was assigned as the assistant to the Head of International Cooperation, she never imagined that she would be working for the same man whom she loved harassing every morning at a small cafe. Chronicling her life through means of another diary, this time a trustworthy one, Ginny has an interesting life, filled with biscotti-throwing, twitching, meddling mothers, and all-around craziness. Read her crazy, inner thoughts and enter a world where everything is completely random and ‘Spiffy Cool’ needs a patent.

Florean Fortescue has his annual Ice Cream Eating Contest. Will the champions for six years running win? Or will a newcomer oust them from their title and take the Golden Cup and the 1971 Ice Cream Eating Champ title?

Second-years are not allowed to visit Hogsmeade ... so what was Dennis Creevey doing at the D.A. meeting in the Hog’s Head? And however will he explain himself to Professor McGonagall without betraying the D.A.?

Ever wonder what would happen when Harry, Ron, and Hermione decide to go to the movies? Crossover between HP, LOTR, and Star Wars. Beware of drugs, dredlocks, and pictures of Oliver Wood dressed in a tiger suit. Plus, a heated game of Mine's Longer! These and other various odd things ensue whilst reading this not-so-classic adventure of love, lust, and all-around really bad things!

Ginny is sitting in the library doing some homework when she is passed a note from Draco. Warning - gets a little silly!!

When Harry Potter went to the Scar convention he was in for a big surprise. Meet a few friends along the way and see if you can spot your scar...

Hermione discovers a certain book and decides it's her duty to fight the patriarchy and expose 'the problem that has no name' to witches everywhere. Harry decides that Hermione has gone insane. Ron agrees.

Future Hogwarts Founders Rowena and Helga have decided to test the assumption that cats always land on their feet; however, they have great difficulty in getting one of their human test subjects to cooperate.

Ginny and Luna start a happy business selling quills that fight each other, but soon the business turns into a twisted power play of theivery and bribery...

Ever wondered how Earth was created? Well, this fic can't help you there, but it is a comedy, so lighten your sense of reality with a one-shot scene of the initiation of the fourth and final member of Marauders Incorporated: "that weird quiet kid."

Harry goes to visit Ron at the Burrow. In his time at the house, Harry finds letters stashed in various places in the house that reveal Ron's true feelings for Hermione. Will Harry be violently sick? Will he be traumatised for the rest of his life? Read this and see...

An owl post from James to... well, to whom it may concern... regarding the unfortunate result of a series of pranks. Revenge is sweet.

The my newest works from Chicago. Both parodies, one more of a songfic, one funny and truthful. Umbridge and Fudge sing about what to do with Dumbledore. Ron wonders if he'll ever measure up to those around him.

A narration of how Tonks nearly failed her Auror Stealth and Tracking test.

When Madam Hooch gets a new job as Head Coach of the Tornadoes, they must find a new Quidditch teacher, and everybody's favorite magical nanny gets the job, to the horror of the Quidditch team.

MWPP decide to make an audio diary of their lives at Hogwarts!

Marauder-time, fourth year: Black and Snape are staying at Hogwarts over Christmas. Home alone. Paranoia ensues. Featuring: James Potter and Lucius Malfoy. And what's the square root of 327 anyhow?

During fifth year, Sirius Black keeps a journal in which he chatters about House-Elf literacy, writes about his friends, and overcomes apostrophe issues.

It is a late night at the library, and all is not well for Draco Malfoy and the Potions homework that is due in a few hours. Of course, it all goes downhill from there.

Draco Malfoy has many of life's tough little problems, but the one which bothers him most (for some strange reason), is that stupid Potter always wins at Quidditch. So he tries a secret practice, and it ends up that Ginny Weasley teaches him a few things.

Sequel to Chocolate Butterbeer. Dean finds Harry and Draco snogging by the one-eyed witch, and attempts to "save" Harry. Harry thinks Dean is trying to steal Draco, and hilarity ensues...

Voldemort, newly restored to his body, decides to move in to Riddle Manor, and what better thing to do than have a Death Eater housewarming party? Drunkenness and karaoke follow shortly.

What do the under-used characters do when they are not sitting at the high table, handing out homework, or catching students involved in mind-boggling carnal acts? Here is their answer to that question.

This is Hermione's Diary. Keep that in mind while reading, it is her diary... meaning nobody will read it and she does not outwardly express these feelings or thoughts!!! So I guess you'd say it's a bit OOC...?

Picture only this... Lockhart serenading Snape to the tune of "Rubber Ducky" in his birthday suit. Scared yet?

Draco needs a date. Ginny makes a bet. Add one bottle of Sickleberry Rum (‘your inhibitions gone in six sips, guaranteed!’) and shake well for best results.

Harry, Ron, and Draco head out to the Hog's Head for a humble drink between friends... but without Hermione's permission... What happens when Harry and Ron are all-out drunk, full to the brim with alcohol, and Draco has to get them back to Hogwarts?``PG for mushy hangovers.

AU. Due to the Burrow collapsing, the whole Weasley family are temporarily living at Hogwarts. How does Hogwarts cope in the sticky hands of the two-year-old Weasley twins?

Do not read if you ar opposed to sex with object/squirrels, Uncle Vernon's sex life, or naked old men. Otherwise, enjoy!

Voldemort was just defeated! Can we say party? Ginny certainly can when in the wee hours of the night she whips out a bottle of truth serum... what will happen next?

What happens when MTV decides to prank the wizarding world for their game show Boiling Points?

Ever wondered what would happen if certain characters in Harry Potter were forced to substitute the position of an advice columnist? No? Well, now it's happened anyway. Characters featured include (but not limited to) Draco (this chapter), Fleur, Harry and Snape! Even submit your questions to any of the characters; they may or may not reply. Hey, you never know.

The Hogwarts ghosts: Nearly-Headless Nick, the Bloody Baron, the Grey Lady, the Fat Friar, Moaning Myrtle, Peeves... and Sirius Black?!

"She turned me into a newt! I got better..."

This is a basic Yule Ball fic featuring a certain Slytherin couple. Only one Gryffindor was harmed in the making of this fanfic.

James and Sirius both have one and Remus doesn't see why he shouldn't have one too! A 7th year Marauders tale of face fungus and revenge!

All incoming seventh years are sent to Hogwarts in July to complete their assignments, which will be the most difficult situation for each of them! Includes blue toilet water, tea parties, Hogwarts invasion, denied promotion, Voldemort in a hula outfit, evil three year olds, terrible grades, spiders, and Timothy Facade.

In which Sirius has a problem and Remus tries to help.

Mary-Sue Potter has come to Hogwarts, inspiring questions: Who is she? What's her secret? And why doesn't she have violet eyes? (Parody)

Why does Petunia REALLY hate Lily? Could it be due to plans going amiss? And why is Severus involved? Can James dance? A One shot fun piece.

Hermione, home on summer holiday, explores the internet and stumbles upon a fan fiction site.

Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy...

It\'s Hermione Granger\'s turn to take up the quill and to write her own confession. There are some things you certainly did not know about Hogwarts\' bushy-haired prodigy.

Hagrid's magic "umbrella" from the first book has a few things to say to his enslaver!

Who's with whom? A fic about what happens if you belong to every SHIP (which I don't).

Hermione and Ron are engaged and in love. Hermione decides, at dinnertime, to ask Ron about having a baby. Ron concedes, of course. Nine months later... Hermione's screaming her head off in St. Mungo's while awaiting the arrival of their new addition.

It's Christmas at Hogwarts, and some of the students can't help singing. Five Gryffindors and a couple of Slytherins get mixed up in Bohemian Rhapsody whilst figuring out their own problems.

Scene: the Black family home. Harry is sitting at the kitchen table perusing a copy of the Daily Prophet, scratching Crookshanks between the ears whilst he stands on top of the table enjoying a saucer of milk.``The front-page headline of the Daily Prophet reads: There is no news to report. There will be no news to Report tomorrow either. There will be no news to report until the publication of book six. thank you for keeping your subscription current with us anyway.``Harry (muttering quietly to himself while he sips his tea): No news is good news. (He turns the page) I wonder what the personal ads will say. Oh, here’s one from Fred and George.

Ginny thinks after the Quidditch Final of Harry, Michael, Quidditch and the wonders of being a Gryffindor Girl!

For about one line, Ms. Rowling mentions the top-secret Department of Mysteries. The story is thus: the Backsliders, an extremely secret and powerful team of the most powerful witches and wizards on the planet, have been brought together once again, and maybe for the last time. Be forewarned: the characters are brand new--though, of course, HP and the gang are at the center. It's comedy, drama, romance, suspence and malaria all rolled up into a big sticky taco!

Sirius, James, and Peter find out Remus's secret...just NOT the one they are going for. You see, Remus has this strange new obsession with...Quakers.

This is the classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood starring Hermione as Little Red Riding Hood and Lupin as the wolf.

Have you ever wondered what happened after Harry left McGonagall and Umbridge alone, after his career councelling session? Here is my idea of what might have happened.

There are just so many detention fics that result in Harry and Draco getting together. They argue, they fight, they get together. It’s always the same thing. So here’s my little story about their 59th detention together and what it resulted in.

Ride shotgun with the Ministry of Magic's finest, as they hunt Dark Wizards, frame innocent Muggles, and drink tea with Voldemort. Hosted by Sheriff John Bunnell.

Harry and Ron have always been a little different. In their seventh year, they want a shot at being normal. And what better way to be normal than to form a rock band? The only problem is that they need a drummer. When putting up fliers around the school, Malfoy trickery abounds and Harry and Ron end up in an unexpected and undesirable circumstance: they are now in a rock band with Malfoy - of their own choice. Will they stay together? Will Ron and Harry strangle Malfoy with his own drumsticks? Will they stick Malfoy's drumsticks where the sun don't shine?

The situation is well-known to all women. None of us likes it, but nobody avoids it. Nor does Ginny. But a special incident makes her see the fun of it.