1,201 - 1,220 of 3,594 Stories

"We have a SPLINCH!" "ACCIO floating head" Why do the Heads of House look forward to this class?

When Voldemort asked for "immortality," he should have specified "immortal life" ...

On her wedding night, Hermione discovers that the best cure for a hangover is a heaping dose of sarcasm. Based on a true story.

Set in the days of MWPP, a strange American transfer student joins Hogwarts. *gasp* A Mary Sue? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Well, maybe if you stretched it really far. Like taffy!

Harry Potter can face anything! Anytime! Anyplace! Except maybe today. Kids say the darndest things...

The Marauders attend a fancy dress/costume party at the end of their seventh year. Our intrepid heroes wear feather boas and eyeliner, and do quite a bit of snogging. All in all, it makes for much fun.

A well-known prankster for his generation, James Potter takes his turn during the career consultation with Professor McGonagall. What is it that he so badly wants to do when he grows up?

Angelina gives advice and comfort to Hermione, assuring her that, though, yes, the Weasleys are completely clueless, there can be hope.

A new business venture sparks an old rivalry… and hits primetime.

Stuffy Snape, and Hermione Granger with lodestones``getting her first kiss in a rather unexpected way.

Well, I finally have another one up, as I promised. The very secret diary of Draco Malfoy the Third. A parody of Cassandra Claire's VSDs. WARNING: Humor and nonsense ahead. As well, I know it's nowhere near as good as the original VSDs, but it's a parody, people!

Werewolves are also people. From a year before the death of the Potters to a few years before his teaching post at Hogwarts, we follow Lupin through his lycanthropic acquaintances--wretched, stunning, hypocritical, slightly mad, fiercely radical and simply, undeniably human.

Scorpius and Rose are trying to come up with a name for their first child. Can Luna save the day?

The Amazing Race is truly...Amazing. But what would happen if the wizards from the Harry Potter world and Muggles from the States were to get together and embark on this Amazing Race? Humor and 'Sirius'ness ensues...

What would it be like to be popular for a day? When her best friends Harry and Ron are suspended from school, Hermione realizes just how much she depended on the two for friendship. She decides to take a chance, get a whole new look, personality, and even friends! But things don't always turn out for the best...

Bill Weasley, Curse Breaker, receives a plea from the Boston Red Sox baseball club in America. In order to complete the mission, he sends two agents to assist the club in breaking the 86-year-old curse on the team. Baseball will never be the same.

JKR's characters want to write their own books; that's against the rules! Who will stop them? WARNING: Random spin-off titles may cause tears of hilarity.

When Fred and George nicked the Marauder's Map from the drawer in Filch's office, it was blank. How did they figure out what it was and how to use it?

It's Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts and, due to the events of the previous year, he's a manic depressive with a fixation with death, Hermione's got the worst documented case of PMT in the history of Hogwarts, and poor Ron's got all this to deal with. Then along comes the Curse of Ravenclaw Tower, something that makes Ron's day that little bit worse. Also featuring in this comic tale are Ginny, Neville and Luna (because I like to make everyone suffer).

Rita Skeeter really shouldn't have picked Mrs. Norris for the subject of an interview. Dark humor. No fluff, just slit-eyed intrigue.

Strange, unexplained shoe-nappings have been occurring to a certain group of students that we all know very well. But they realize that they are connected to a secret that they thought no one knew about.

Brothers tend to always view their younger sisters as little angels. Ron's angelic view of Ginny is dramatically smashed beyond recognition! And... that's not all...

Mary Sue is sick and tired of romance novels, so when she's offered a starring role in a Harry Potter fanfic, she jumps at the chance. Problem is, things aren't going exactly according to plan... My mom says it's stupid, my beta says it's funny. The only way you can find out is to READ!

5th year fic. Harry and Hermione both like each other, but neither knows that the other likes him/her. Then, enter the new girl. Bumpy roads and many cat fights follow and Harry must make a decision...

Hello! Welcome to my little one-shot song fic. Remus Lupin/Sirius Black. Sirius is bringing sexy back with a record player and a song.

Three crazy voice overs attempt to tell a Harry Potter story in which a bunch of fermatas try to take over Hogwarts in spite of the fact that it is the job of the Killer Rabbits and Jackalopes.

Fred and George have been rummaging around in Percy's room and to their delight find something that not only makes their day but can also make them some money.

What would you do if you woke up at Hogwarts? Would you get really really excited? Would you take advantage of the situation? Or would you wreak total havoc?``I would.

Petunia grudgingly picks Lily up from King's Cross Station for Christmas holidays and meets Messrs MWPP.

Professor Blaise Zabini is travelling on his friend Justin Finch-Fletchley's yacht, when they hear on the WWN that there is a great regatta starting....

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are sure that someone's out to commit a crime. Our heroes are valiant and daring in their efforts to prevent the stealing of the Sorcerer's Stone. But, honestly, the teachers gathering in the staff room just think they're being annoying. It's the afternoon before the ultimate climax of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone... and the staff just wants to have a quiet coffee break. Here it is: prequel to a prequel.

The teenage Marauders find themselves forced into the Muggle world... without their wands! Hilarity ensues. Includes some mild swearing.

"Grease and Oil on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"``"It is Princess Hermione, my dear Queen."``"WHAT?!?! How can this be? I won the '91 Beauty Pageant of Faraway Land! I am an ex-Miss Faraway. And I am also a former Miss Fairytale Universe! No way that little brat is more attractive than me!"``Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - The Harry Potter Version!``With Narcissa Malfoy as Queen/Witch, Hermione as Snow White, and Grease and Oil (you should know who) as the mirror!

Hermione finds herself in the most unusual situation when facing a Boggart that turns into people's deepest desire, instead of their deepest fear. Another addition to "The Inverted Boggart" story.

Harry is angry. VERY angry. Why?

A young Lucius Malfoy is forced to baby-sit his wife's niece for a day. How much trouble can toddler!Tonks get up to? The answer involves overflowing sinks, strawberry jam, and Bertie Bott's Beans.

The day was dark, cold, and wet. The chill in the moist air outside kept most of the students indoors. It was the weekend, and the normally bustling corridors and classrooms were deserted and quiet. Needless to say, to a pair of red haired Gryffindor boys, it was a very boring day. When something involves Fred and George, it won't remain boring for too long.

Voldemort's real desperate. He has so many pathetic minio-er follwers and nothing to do. What better way to try to whip their minds into shape than to hold therapy sessions? There are a lot of better ways... but Voldemort is, as I said before, desperate...

Shortly after Hogwarts, Sirius and Remus are sharing a flat together. One day, however, a very strange tift begins.

Ron and Harry share the same flat and today, Hermione is going to bring a surprise there.

See what happens when you take on bored Harry Potter fan muggle and take one horny and angry Draco Malfoy!``Warning: You might wet yourself.

Do you have what it takes to be a Death Eater? In these "short" guidelines written by the Dark Lord himself, you'll find out all the do's and don't's and other info of being a Death Eather in Voldemort's service....

The A&T boys are back! Oh, behave! Delinquent!Harry``ate an ice cream. Sex-starved!Draco had some explicit daydream.``In public. Ice cream eaten by Harry was based on Feast by Walls.

Two worlds collide in a story of humor, action, and possibly romance. Everyone's favorite wizard is once again in a tricky situation. But this time, it isn't even in his own world!

A rather fluffy, fun little story…includes Russian figure skaters and some rather vile wonderings about Quidditch players. It’s another Penelope-n-Ron story, with a little touch of Percy/Oliver on the side…and one other pairing, can you spot it?

The teachers at Hogwarts must undergo therapy following the termination of Professor Lockhart... insights into Professor McGonagall's true character and Snape's sarcasm abounds.

Harry, Ginny, Hermione and Ron sit down and comment while they watch, "The Empire Strikes Back". Symbolism and Comparisons abound. Inspired Sequel to B Bennet's, "A Certain Point of View".

Find out what Rita was up to during the events of CoS!

James and Lily are supposed to be married on Friday. Well, the Saturday beforehand, the best man, our favorite mutt, Sirius, decides to throw his friend a bachelor party. This party involves cake and coconuts and an uninvited guest who decides to crash the party.

Harry has quite a decision on his hands: Hermione or Ginny? As the story progresses, things heat up as Harry Hermione Ron Ginny Draco Cho and Luna keep switching around partners. Who will Harry choose? And what's with snogging Mandrakes?

Harry and Ron find a Muggle computer, and go onto Schnoogle and read fics! Featuring bad language and teasing!

Lord Voldemort consults the Evil Overlord handbook and decides to rid Hogwarts of some Christmas cheer... until he gets discovered sneaking around the Ravenclaw Common Room by a certain "loony" student...

Dudley-fat, stupid and, er, fat! But he's also innocent(ish) and cute (in a stupid sort of way). See Dudley's life, starting Christmas 1996, when he writes to his cousin...

Due to the fact that Hermione’s father had custody of her after her parents separation, Hermione moved around a lot before her father settled back in England. Hermione receives the letter that she is to start at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, even if she is now fifteen. There, she meets the famous Harry Potter, his best friend the troublemaker Ron Weasley, and his little sister, Ginny. They have an adventure of their lives with Hermione at Hogwarts now...

A humourous tale about Harry getting all dressed up with somewhere to go--to save Severus--and maybe try to seduce him, as well. (No actual het was produced in the writing of this story.)

Welcome to a segment of Interviews, the DADA Teachers Talk Show! This sickly show is like a combination of a super cheesy David Letterman and Oprah Winfrey show with your twice as cheesy host Cornelius Fudge! This show is the reason talkshows and Harry Potter do NOT mix.

In the summer holidays after leaving Hogwarts, Remus has a surprise for Sirius.

I was challenged by Yoda (from GT) to create a Harry Potter/Star Wars melded fic where the Harry Potter characters would take on the roles of the Star Wars characters. Harry would become Luke Skywalker, Draco would be Han Solo, Ginny would be Leia, Dumbledore would be Obi Wan Kenobi, Sirius would play Chewbacca, Dobby would be R2D2, and Fred/George would be Yoda. I took the liberty of altering names of characters and places from both stories and even added a few additional ``people. Sorry Hermione fans- she heard about this and ran very far away and is ``therefore not represented.

Harry is dead and this is his will. Character death implied (not shown, it's just his will), but it's not sad and a couple of strange pairings. I've been told it's funny, but slightly disturbing.

In a strange twist of fate, Ron ends up serenading Hermione with an N'Sync song... will Ron be doomed to become a hopeless member of a stupid boy band, or will he win his darling? A fluffy R/Hr fic! Post-GoF, pre-OotP written.

Ginny, Pansy, Luna, Cedric, Oliver and Draco are six successful best friends in their mid-20s living together in an apartment in Diagon Alley. Read all about their lives, loves and laughs!

The Game of life! Sequels Sequel to truth or Dare the Sequel, Sequel to Truth or Dare. They do that stuff the title says and someone else gets carried away. Ron speaks...French?

This story is set in the _Slytherin Rising_ AU. What happens when ``a Ravenclaw decides that Gilderoy Lockhart's Got To Go? Cat-fights and a Cunning ``Plan...and a critique by none other than everybody's favorite Potions Master!

It's about Harry's scar... is it really what it seems? A short little thing written by a very bored Selene

Harry, fed up with his boyfriend never helping out with the chores, insists that Draco comes supermarket shopping with him... and comes to regret it!

Vernon Dursley observes as three-year-old Harry Potter is visited by a kindly elf on Christmas Night. Based on "The Night Before Christmas."

After being completely insulted yet again in a potions class, Harry is tired of being a student. While in detention, he accidentally creates a potion that allows him a great deal of fun: Harry can switch bodies with people, and he is the only one whom it can work on! Later though, he discovers this potion could very well be the key to defeat Voldemort. Will it lead to victory or tragedy?

Seamus is a kinky sort; he has a secret none of his mates know about, and desires that people would find a little hard to understand. A little accidental magic may serve his obsession in an unlikely way.

So you thought that only students pass notes? Certainly not true. Here three teachers discuss the purpose of notes, their pupils\' love loves and other such nonsense. It\'s a whole bunch of silliness, really!

A collection of limericks featuring various students, teachers, Death Eaters and others.

What happens when the Gryffindors join a Halloween contest sponsored by the Weasley Wizard Weezes Joke Shop? Ron as a rabbit! Colin as Harry! A love sick Ginny! And a REALLY embarassed Draco!

Just an innocent game of spin-the-bottle... until an uninvited guest shows up and changes the rules. A bunch of ships, slash and het.

Fred Weasley has liked Angelina Johnson for years and now he's found a spell to get her. What happens when the spell backfires?

The troll\\\'s version of what happened that Hallowe\\\'en in book one. Translated from the Trollish, apart from the title.

One of the worst villains in canon. A valiant and true heroine. AND they're uncle and niece! So what's to keep them from (*ahem, ahem*) getting together? Sometimes personal relationships are not the worst issue...

Lupin gets the dubious pleasure of waking Tonks up for breakfast every morning for a week. Hilarity ensues.

Originally named "The Four Marauders". It's the Marauders' fifth year at Hogwarts--Remus suffers from PMS (Pre-Moon Sickness) and Moonopause--James struggles to kiss Lily--Sirius flirts and attempts to get a girlfriend--and Peter...well, he tries not to explode from eating so much! Join the Marauders as they get high (off Sharpies that Remus stole from his Muggle step-dad), go on panty raids, and, most important of all, harrass Snivellus!

Hermione is going on vacation with her mom, tooth-obsessed Dad and... Harry and Ron? But then Hermione starts to like Harry... what now??

Ever wonder about what it would be like to be in handcuffs? Not like against the law... enforced by police. Natural law takes an ironic turn in this story of two enemies, bonded by cold hard steel. Yet the very thing that keeps them together keeps them also from killing each other.

Harry and Ron venture into a record shop where they meet a boy who looks suspiciously like Harry. Could it be...? A real-person fic featuring Dan Radcliffe.

Ginny's seen almost every single living soul in the house in some embarrassing state of undress or other. Today, she finishes her collection with Harry, singing in the shower. Oneshot. Warning: Slash implied.

Harry finds himself locked in a crowded common room in nothing but his boxers! Ginny is there and isn't slightly embarrassed.

Draco is not in love with Harry. Really, he's not. And he definitely doesn't have a plan to get Harry to love him too.... H/D.

OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY KILLED COLIN! And so our tale begins. A horrible murder has occurred at our beloved Hogwarts, and Fudge is a bungling idiot. Oh, and did I mention Dumbledore has experienced S.M.E.F.? If you want to know what smef means you're going to have to read my delightfully funny murder story.

Lucius accidentally hits his son. A response to all the Abused!Draco fics out there, set when Draco is about seven years old. Includes WearingThePants!Narcissa.

[AU] Draco and Lucius Malfoy sit behind Harry and Hermione at the Quidditch World Cup. Being Malfoys, they just have to grab this one by the horns. Unfortunately, they seem to forget that Hermione Granger is the top of her year... Oneshot.

You wouldn't have thought anyone could get away with messing with Voldemort, would you? He didn't either - until two children showed up on his doorstep claiming to be his cousins...

The marauders have had a bit too much Firewhisky. Chaos ensues. Response to a challenge.

A cautionary tale on the dangers of carelessly mixing magic and technology. Ron breaks the internet. (Written for LadyTory's Bad Day Challenge.)

It's the end of sixth year and Lily is enjoying a day off on the Hogwarts grounds until some mischievous boys find her where she's sleeping. James has an idea but it's Sirius's prank that really makes this fic happen.

Draco, Hermione, and some mud. "Unresolved sexual tension. Those two have it in spades."

It's sound advice: Never accept food from Fred and/or George Weasley. But when it's a pan of warm, chocolatey, gooey brownies, how could any sane person possibly resist? (Easily, if they know what's good for 'em.) Warning: Not your Mom's brownies; this fic is rated PG-13 for a reason.

Scene: The Leaky Cauldron at Halloween. The pub is decorated Hogwarts-style in preparation for the characters' in-between-books Halloween celebration. Ron and Hermione are helping Harry decorate.``Hermione: Ron, come give me a boost over here, will you? I can’t staple this beheaded elf to the ceiling without you.``Ron: Sure, honey, I’ll be right there. (leaning over, he whispers to Harry who is filling a wooden barrel with apples for bobbing) Harry, uh…did you send my parents an invite to this party?

Characters from Harry Potter write their letters to Santa.

Have you ever wondered if Hogwarts really does exist? Well it does but there’s more to it than the books let on.

First years Lily Evans and James Potter have to work together in a battle of life or death, involving Fire-witches, magic rings that don't turn you invisible, cloaks that do and an ancient prophesy. If they fail, it could result in tragedy; it's just a pity they hate each other.

What could possibly go wrong when Harry and Draco are looking for a little private time? Everything! Features a nutty centaur, flying!Ron, and ancient Slytherin customs you may not know about.

What happens when you put humour and romance together? Light-hearted fluff. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll have a picnic. At least... Harry and Draco will. (slash)

O/C: Chester B. Humpledincker: The horrific mistake Mother Nature didn't want to admit to; a face that would make Voldemort grimace, and a brain that could only be summed up by one word: deficient. The anti-hero the world hates to love...

Harry is angsty, Voldie's a pip. There's fighting and crying but no big field trip. It's funny, it's lovey, but there's true gross gore. There's Hagrid and Hedwig and Mary-Sueness galore. Ron and Hermione stop by for a second, I can't think of another rhyme so I'll just stop.