2,481 - 2,500 of 3,594 Stories

Two Muggle-borns get their letters and go to Hogwarts. I know it's been done before (MANY TIMES) but (hopefully) it's a bit different. You also find out who Hermione's friends were before she went to Hogwarts. She was Muggle-born afterall...

It hasn't been a very good year at all for the Malfoy family, but Narcissa is determined to put her best foot forward and keep up appearances in her annual Christmas letter. Warning: contains high quantities of self-delusion, and far more underlining than necessary.

Vernon has a surprise encounter. Dudley needs a job. Fred and George have a new business. General chaos ensues.

The year is 1980 and the date is December 25th. The Dark Lord will be defeated by a small child called Harry Potter in less than a year. Just a few weeks earlier, two Death Eaters have been killed by Aurors; everything seems to be going remotely well for the good part of the wizarding world. But in another corner of it three Death Eaters share a Christmas full of memories, too much wine, hope and humour. Meet Armand Avery, Corwin Nott and Severus Snape at their last Christmas as followers of Voldemort for fifteen years.

Harry isn’t hungry. Ron and Hermione are worried and Neville’s had better days, too. (Post-OotP.)

Follow Draco through his seventh year at Hogwarts, through his highs, lows and in particular, the burning of his eyebrow by a rogue Blast-ended Skrewt.

Harry hadn't anticipated having no choice but to go to Ron and Hermione for wedding night advice. The information he got wasn't quite what he expected.

The four Marauders decide to congratulate themselves for their OWL year by going to North America on vacation. From the quill of Moony, see in how much trouble four Brits can get!

Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James are bored and hot at Peter's house. They venture outside to find....

I never asked to be in Hufflepuff, you know.... So begins the anonymous Hufflepuff who has chosen to share with the world the thoughts and views of a Hufflepuff. No longer a "Huffleduffer." It is time the world learned what being a Hufflepuff really means....

Challenge fic. Draco's gone to a visit to the Burrow. Features Barbie dolls, Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey, sparkly mascara and a little bit of Orlando Bloom.

Imagine a Hogwarts taken over by some musical lover. Is that all it takes for two people destined for each other to find their love? Friends try to convince the lovers to make their move through songs and choreographed choruses. Hogwarts is a mad house. How fun can this be?

Remus is very distraught. He just lost another one of his best friends and he can't get over it. But then, something happens. Something that helps get over his grievances and gives him quite a laugh.

Voldemort finds himself in a rather infuriating position. In order to kill Harry Potter, he has to save him first. That's right, he has to work for his kill, although he gets more than he bargained for.

What happens when Fred and George Weasley, accompained by an...unwilling member of staff, travel back in time 400 years? They happen to bump into a certain Edmund Blackadder...

When Sirius Black dumps a girl, she cries and begs him to come back. When he humiliates her in front of the whole school, she doesn't seek revenge. Never. Too bad that no one ever said that to Angela Peters. SBOC

What if the veil wasn’t actually death? What if it were a portal to Germany in the early 1800s? Extremely crazy Sirius/Beethoven slash inspired by Immortal Beloved.

A typical sarcastic Ravenclaw is left in the hospital wing after an... interesting... Quidditch tryout. If only she had someone to talk to.``As long as it wasn't him.

Jaessa Starsley: your average, goody-goody Hogwarts student, right? Wrong! See what kind of trouble she gets into while she falls in love and is tortured (in a friendly way) by Harry and Ginny Potter's daughter, Lily.

Hogwarts has its first official "science" fair, of sorts. Includes electricity, Ron doing tea leaf readings, Hermione with blue hair and Parvati's method to Divination, which doesn't really work.

Eight students from the University of Magic, Heineland, attend an exchange programme to Hogwarts! What will happen...? Revolutionary changes to the owl system? An economic boom? Let's just say... Simple mayhem. (If there's such a thing.) Join the laughter!

“You! What’re you doing here?”``Draco whipped around, coming face to face with a set of gorgeous blue eyes. Stepping back, he gasped in awe. Before him stood a man with long blond locks, blue eyes, tanned skin, dressed in a TEAL kilt and white pirate shirt! Wonder of wonders! “You’re almost as pretty as I am!”

Lord Voldemort's own slightly twisted take on the classic poem, "The Night Before Christmas." Also, a sequel to my other Christmas fic, "Tom Riddle's 12 Days of Christmas!"

OK...this is a random one-shot that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Harry Potter series, except that they share names. Everyone is very OOC and VERY silly. Don't read if you're looking for a good, meaningful fic!

A heroic saga of forbidden love. The Romeo and Juliet of the modern age. It's Harry/Draco... in verse!

One formidable Longbottom grandmother and two mischievous Weasley twins teach Rita Skeeter a very public lesson... UK English, canon-ish, humour.

During Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s sixth year at Hogwarts, they spend a Christmas at the Burrow. Massive hysteria ensues at the Weasley house, including (but not limited to) fighting with Fairy Lights, an exceptionally grumpy Mrs. Weasley, Arthur in big trouble with his wife, a VERY lost muggle, and lots of shouting. Oh, and what’s that in Charlie’s room? (Sorry it’s so late, but think of it this way: What better way to get your mind off of school/work than by reading about the holidays?)

Whatever terrible fears Harry had about parallel universes paled in comparison to what he was about to fall into now!

“…old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young…” (OotP, p. 728). Meet a young clever prankster and the-one-who-inspired-you-know-who as children: Albus Dumbledore and Adolph Grindelwald. Insight into their minds.

And the wildness continues! The much-anticipated sequel to Voldie's Tea Party and Harry Potter's Tea party has finally gotten here! Draco Malfoy catches the tea party fever from Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and begins to have them in his common room. So what happens when he is interrupted? Nothing good for the interruptor. Read to find out what the heck I'm talking about!

Fred and George decide to put their money where their mouth is, so to speak and branch off from the prankster business into Flobberworm Juice. Poised and ready to sell, they’re approached by the one person they’d never have expected to help. Can they trust ole’ Perc? And why does he want so badly to help them sell the new coughs slashy product coughs?

Finally, there is a solution to all of Hogwarts' relationship problems! That's right, a world-renowned speaker is coming to talk at the school! Now, if only Ron wasn't in love with Hermione who's in love with Harry who's in love with... are they any love lines that *aren't* crossed in this school?

We don't know about you, but we think Hagrid has promise. He needs a little work before you start shipping him off...

"Apologies. I don't do rhetorical questions. You'll have to check with Pettigrew on that one. Every question's a rhetorical one with him, if you take the strict definition of the word, because he can't answer any of them." James Potter and Sirius Black get up to some fun. Which means anything but for poor beleagued prefect Lily Evans. And who exactly is responsible for those knights on the fourth floor, who don't usually sport pink tutus and peg legs? One-shot.

It's time for History of Magic and the trio gets side-tracked by swapping notes. Harry's rather hyper, Hermione is killer with a quill and Ron is denying things.

Why doesn\\\'t Hogwarts have visits for the families of Muggle-born pupils, so that they can see what their child is getting into? Maybe they used to ... before Penelope Clearwater\\\'s parents came on such a visit.

A silly short story set during Half-Blood Prince. Harry knows that Malfoy is up to no good in the Room of Requirement, but are two Hufflepuff girls helping him in exchange for money? What's the deal with Hufflepuff anyhow? And is their flying monkey really evil? The two girls are definitely plotting something and, yet again, no one seems to believe Harry. He sets out to solve the mystery of the strange, silly Hufflepuff girls... alone, if he has to.

How did the greatest magic school in the world get its start? One of the Founders, Helga Hufflepuff, explains (in her own way) just how the school began....

Hogwarts has decided to host a day when the house-elves serve many different dishes from many different countries! Hermione's excited, Harry's hoping there'll be pizza, and Ron, well, Ron's really not sure...

Ron falls victim to an April Fools prank where he is transfigured into a rat. How does a rat survive a day in the hazard world of Hogwarts? How will he escape the clutches of a very randy Voldemort? Featuring clueless Ron, frustrated Hermione, indignant Draco, repenting Harry, disappointed Lucius, and two half-giants who are not afraid to experiment with the floo network! A sequel of sorts to A Day in the Life of a Ferret.

Harry ponders how his point of view on love, Ron, and socks has changed since personally admitting his feelings for Draco. Sequel to "Disbelief." (Runs parallel to "Acceptance.")

Parvati and Lavender have come up with a most brilliant idea. How do they drag Hermione into it, and how does a telescope fit in?

The holidays are about to arrive, and no one can find Draco Malfoy! Where is he? Why is he gone? And why did Hagrid shave his beard? Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione, Seamus/Dean.``Watch out for those garden shears!

Another story where Longbottom has an accident in Potions and Harry faces the consequences, but with a twist.

Tonight on the David Letterman Show, Remus Lupin!``Remus wants to give Letterman a piece of his mind.

Dun Dun Dun.... Harry Potter goes Grease! Lupin in a lounge dress? Snape with backup singers? It's all here in a crazy Harry``Potter tale with a Grease-like theme!

Why is Remus angry? What is Sirius up to this time? Why does chocolate taste so good when it's supposed to be bad for you?

Potter/Discworld crossover - Returned to the Land of the Living, a small clan of Nac Mac Feegles find themselves thrown headlong into a world they never expected, without Gonnagle or Kelda. Whhat's going on? Where did all the bigjobs spring from? And what about the man in a tin suit in the pitcher?

Lucius knows better than anyone that if Harry Potter is dating Draco Malfoy, the World is about to End. Slash, obviously.

Watch Tonks, Charlie and Sirius break their heads about their futures. Yes, they're just past trading wizard cards!

What happened to a certain character's property after he died? The Wisconsin Court of Appeals had a real headache to deal with... Inspired by a discussion on A.J. Hall's LiveJournal after OotP's release. Refers to characters from Lust Over Pendle.

During a botched lecture on sexual education, Professor Snape yields in favor of someone much more educated...Roger Davies.

Five years after defeating You-Know-Who in his final year at Hogwarts, Harry suddenly emerges from a long disappearance to meet up with Hermione and Ron in a Muggle bar for the first time since graduation. Their conversation reveals the shocking truth about where Harry has been hiding out, why Dumbledore was really kicked out of Hogwarts, and what, exactly, is a Magic Milkworm. WARNING: May spoil the Harry Potter books for you forever.

Rita Skeeter is at the top of her game, a regular gossip queen with riddikulus amounts of money. So, naturally, only the best will do! Follow Rita through a typical day.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Harry does. But the amount of time he spends thinking of his beloved - is it really considered love... or obsession? People always assume that they know who Harry's heart belongs to, but they are wrong... dead wrong. Since the first time Harry looked, he was in love. Love that would turn into an obsession... Harry's obsession.

At breakfast, Hermione did not see Parvati, but she did see her giant yellow and purple polka dot hat.

I just had to put someone in harem pants and finger bells, and then Hermione caught my eye. She isn?t quite ready for the ordeal yet, but I intend to make her work very, very hard. Oh, and the reason or her being in this unseemly position is, of course, academic interest. After all, how far should you let your research take you? Also, to make things clear, I am not Draco Malfoy, I am just another evil thought being stifled for lack of space in his golden head. Phew! It?s hard to breathe in here!

What happens when Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Draco are picked up by Muggles who want to see them perform magic? Humor and mayhem, that's what!

Uncle Voldie talks about his problems with his shrink. Slash implied, idiocy galore.

Draco has never really gotten along well with children and is most unimpressed when Harry invites a baby into their apartment.

Imagine yourself working for the Ministry and had to control the wizards and witches, who are going to the Quidditch World Cup. A/N Trust me, you won't regret reading this story or....I....eat my shoe.

"Shall I tell you something? I hate cats. With a passion. I hate cats. And dogs, too, come to think of it. I hate dogs, as well." Severus Snape

Response to rachelmalfoy's "St Patrick's Day Challenge"! Involves our favourite Gryffindor boys in a woman's lingerie store, a somewhat garbled Lord of the Rings quote and the colour green.

Harry Potter has finally defeated Lord Voldemort, and in "reward" gets a temple built to his honour. No one wishes to hire Harry - as they are scared of his Divine Powers. This is not an acceptable situation, and Harry takes action.

Come one! Come all! Can a Crossover of Hannibal and Harry Potter be done? Of course it can, you nitwit! This fic brings a whole new meaning to H/Hr. Get a clue! The H doesn't stand for Harry in this one! Plays about the Malfoys and drooling contests ensue, along with mad snog sessions.

Weasleys, Weasleys, and more Weasleys, but for a reason. Each chapter is a story about a Weasely and their favorite fruit... and how they got their favorite fruit. 1st chapter's Bill! Moral: Never get in between a Weasley and their fruit... especially not on said Weasleys' birthday.

The heart-wrenching tale of a professor and a student's love for each other. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may be a bit disgusted! Involves a portrait out of character, a bit of Mass Snogging, and a very, very Hogwarts ceremony.

Snape is going to end this war, one way or another.

The title says it all! Tom Jones (LOL), Fangirl Petunia, and Snape's tea party!

Fred wants a dog more than anything, and he'll do anything to get one. Anything at all.

Something rather strange happens during a Divination lesson, and Harry decides he doesn't like eating fish.

Short one-shot story about Harry's - and Hermione's - ah...interesting choice of jobs.... This story includes SLASH (Snape/numerous Gryffindor boys).

Next in the Monty Python series--it's Draco's turn! Enjoy!

After an incident at work, Draco is forced to see a therapist or risk losing his job. To say he's angry is putting it lightly. But when he gets to the office and sees the name Ginevra M. Weasley on the door... well... it only adds fuel to the flame. But Ginny isn't exactly ready to embrace Draco with open arms, either....

Luna and Ginny practice for the D.A. Hilarity ensues. Minor OotP spoilers.

Ron has an accident in his closet while getting ready for his date with Luna...then Harry and Hermione make a trip to the closet after having a jinx fiasco.

Thanks to a bet lost to Malfoy, Ron gets in touch with his feminine side and finds out why the Queen is the most powerful piece on the chess board. Featuring CabaretDrag!Ron, Disco!Harry, and 'Fro!Hermione

What would happen if Neville decided that Snape deserved a taste of his own medicine?

In appreciation of the author's inclusion of more humorous stories, the Hogwarts students invite me to spend sometime with them in their world. A continuation of sorts from "I Panicked."

Maybe those fumes in Potions have some side effects, because Harry and Ron are seeing Hermione talking with Malfoy. But probably Malfoy is just evil and put her under the Imperius curse. Meanwhile the Weasley twins are spending some quality time in the Slytherin dungeons. (Let me tell you Snape is not one happy camper in this fic.) Some Hufflepuffs are trying to get a boyfriend they don't have to share. Everyone else is just off trying to get lucky... and they took the plot with them.

Harry is back at Hogwarts, and he finds himself fighting for a girl with none other than... Draco Malfoy! New relationships form and Harry is recovering slower than expected from the death of his late godfather. Voldemort returns, and there is some Star Wars action!

Hijinks in Care of Magical Creatures; MWPP humour, pure and simple.

In which Hermione puts her Omniculars to good use, Fred is tutored, the prefect's bathroom is violated, and Harry's invisibility cloak has many stories to tell.

A post-Hogwarts scenario. Harry Potter wanted to have a phoenix. Ernie Macmillan works in a pet-shop. It's as simple as that. Featuring a dead parrot and a hint of slash.

Luna Lovegood becomes a passenger on the Knight Bus, and meets Stan Shunpike, its conductor. Stan has a plan to take the Knight Bus... on water. Luna brings her oranges, Stan freaks out, and LUV STINKS.

Because Draco had certain, shall we say, difficulties with his last Potions essay, he has been forced into detention with Potty Wee Potter, scrubbing cauldrons. It seems simple, but for some odd reason, Draco cannot pull himself together. Everything is just so FUNNY, somehow.

The muffin incident... there is an incident with a muffin. A short story involving a particularly delectible pastry. (This story is AU, or No-U... depending on your perspective, I guess.)

Part 2 of my series explaining the spells used in HP books. (Part one was the Fidelius Charm.) Talks about the theory behind the Mirror of Erised, a bit about what was involved in putting the stone in it (not much), points out a few plot holes, and talks about the character of Mr. Potter.

Weird and pointless little one-shot fic about Ginny's life crumbled into two trashy pieces of printing paper. A little funny, somewhat morbid, about the transformation from Innocent Curious Freckled Ginny - to - Bad Punk Ginny.

Holidays at Happy Wizards Retirement Home are always exciting! Pancake breakfasts with Bingo make them even MORE exciting, though Hermione apparently hates both pancakes and bingo. Will Harry stay awake long enough for the festivities? Will Ginny remember what she was doing five minutes ago? Find out here in the third HAPPY WIZARDS RETIREMENT HOME!

Snowballs is a game with one objective. Cause as many humourous problems for your opponent as possible, without being touched yourself... Well, Draco and Harry aren't as good as they wish they were...

Long before Hermione wore buns, a little boy named Tommy Riddle lived in a rundown old orphanage. When Orion Jensen and his young apprentice Albus Dumbledore discover the boy's magical powers, complications lead to anger, and anger leads to another segment in the saga. The Phantom Vampire attacks!!

Featuring all the usual characters, a bunch of OCs with familiar sounding names, beating up Malfoy, the easiest way to defeat Lord Voldemort, and seals. Yes, seals.

What would you do if you suddenly woke up in the middle of the Sorting Ceremony and discovered you were an American transfer student? The tale of our hapless heroine--trapped in a world she never made--continues with as many bad cliches as possible.

Inspired by WIKTT and my brother’s dark humor. Hermione receives a letter from Severus on Christmas Eve. It’s a HG/SS fic.

The Sorcerer's Stone movie gets a makeover- along with some help from a really pervy Snape, Gryffindor bashing, and more references to obscure 80's cult movies than you can shake a bowtruckle at!

When Hermione stumbles into a crisis and disappears, Harry goes on a quest to find his girl and bring her back. And all he has on his side is a deranged Frenchwoman, a tattered copy of a book that no-one should want to read, and the knowledge that night-time is the best time to wash your hair.

Sirius Black never knew that baby-sitting little Harry could be so dangerous, so deadly, so--mortifying. For him, at least. After all, his Animagus was supposed to be a frightening dog, not a cute, cuddly teddy bear.

Even our favourite bunch of Slytherins were adolescents once. Now we get to laugh at the expense of Draco, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle, and all the others! Rated for language and crude humour.

Hagrid needs to die an exceedingly painful death. Here's my suggestion.