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A completely random piece about Harry, pepperoni pizza and the future of the wizarding world. Read to find out more!

Words: 1,069
Chapters: 1
Hits: 540

A Blind Round Robin written by Stufler, Larinzia Hope, Ginnysdarkside, AmanitaMuscaria1, Shahrazad, and others. Harry's day starts out bad, and goes out on a random tangent from there...

Words: 5,390
Chapters: 1
Hits: 538

A short and crazy one shot containing seven ships, six of which are slashes... AD/Voldemort, HP/Voldemort, HP/DM, AD/MM, LM/Voldemort, AD/HP, and JP/Voldemort. Obviously, things get a bit weird....

Words: 770
Chapters: 1
Hits: 537
Curiosity by BeST
10/26/2007

Minerva, with Dumbledore's help, discovers a special magical prowess. BeST's response to the September/October 2007 FA/Quidditch Pitch challenge. UPDATE: Winner of the FA/QP challenge.

Words: 2,669
Chapters: 1
Hits: 537

Ravenclaw prefect Lisa Turpin volunteers to tutor at the library for a day; it looks good on your record, after all. Seems easy, right? Wrong. Hilarity ensues when she encounters the very imbeciles that mke up the dregs of society!

Words: 2,146
Chapters: 1
Hits: 536

Harry and the gang try in vain to figure out what year they are set in.

Words: 1,697
Chapters: 1
Hits: 535

Behind every picture-perfect smile, there's bound to be a lie. There is no exception when it comes to the teenage portraits of the Four "Great" Founders that supposedly got along swimmingly until the end. Godric and Helga seem to be the perfect couple, while Salazar is in love with the hot-headed Rowena. Now, if only Rowena would see it that way...

Words: 1,628
Chapters: 1
Hits: 535

Harry and Draco decorate their house for Christmas. D/H fluff!

Words: 957
Chapters: 1
Hits: 534

One shot! A behind-the-scene look at a fashion show to benefit St. Mungo's. Hosted by Madam Rosmerta!

Words: 535
Chapters: 1
Hits: 534
Pig by allie kiwi
02/05/2004

It was only a quick game while they were waiting. But it didn't turn out quite the way the boys anticipated...

Words: 1,715
Chapters: 1
Hits: 534

Errol meet Window. Window meet Errol. Revenge is at hand. One-shot.

Words: 519
Chapters: 1
Hits: 533

It's Ron's first disastrous day working at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. If things weren't bad enough, a very peculiar customer shows up.... post-DH, pre-Epilogue.

Words: 1,251
Chapters: 1
Hits: 533

Have you ever wondered about what it would be like after the Dark Lord is finally vanquished? Draco Malfoy takes a stroll down memory lane and finds something surprisingly disturbing at the end.

Words: 658
Chapters: 1
Hits: 533

The diary of Severus Snape if he were ever to live with me for three months (in America, in the Muggle world, and invisible to the Muggle eye).

Words: 4,812
Chapters: 1
Hits: 532

Take a delightful peak into a peculiar alternate universe where "magic" is synonomous with "occult"! WARNING: The following fic contains irony, Monty Python humor, camp, and maybe a spot of liquified brain matter. Don't worry about that. ^_^ (Satan and the Occult claim no ownership to Harry Potter.)

Words: 1,219
Chapters: 1
Hits: 532

The night before Ron's first year, Fred and George take it upon themselves to warn him of the "dreaded dangers" within the Sorting ceremony....

Words: 932
Chapters: 1
Hits: 531
Holiday Spirit by Trinity 101
01/12/2007

"Granger, I understand the incessant need most people have for getting absolutely besotted with the holiday, but I don't quite think this is what is expected." DHr fluff!

Words: 848
Chapters: 1
Hits: 531

Bernard Goldsmith is in for the shock of his life when he finds out that his wife is faaar from normal...abnormal noises, strange things in the storage room.

Words: 2,974
Chapters: 2
Hits: 530
Sod Off by Gumlick
10/24/2002

Two Muggle-borns get their letters and go to Hogwarts. I know it's been done before (MANY TIMES) but (hopefully) it's a bit different. You also find out who Hermione's friends were before she went to Hogwarts. She was Muggle-born afterall...

Words: 1,854
Chapters: 1
Hits: 530

It hasn't been a very good year at all for the Malfoy family, but Narcissa is determined to put her best foot forward and keep up appearances in her annual Christmas letter. Warning: contains high quantities of self-delusion, and far more underlining than necessary.

Words: 967
Chapters: 1
Hits: 529

Vernon has a surprise encounter. Dudley needs a job. Fred and George have a new business. General chaos ensues.

Words: 4,675
Chapters: 1
Hits: 529
Wine But No Women by Eilan
01/02/2003

The year is 1980 and the date is December 25th. The Dark Lord will be defeated by a small child called Harry Potter in less than a year. Just a few weeks earlier, two Death Eaters have been killed by Aurors; everything seems to be going remotely well for the good part of the wizarding world. But in another corner of it three Death Eaters share a Christmas full of memories, too much wine, hope and humour. Meet Armand Avery, Corwin Nott and Severus Snape at their last Christmas as followers of Voldemort for fifteen years.

Words: 1,458
Chapters: 1
Hits: 527

Follow Draco through his seventh year at Hogwarts, through his highs, lows and in particular, the burning of his eyebrow by a rogue Blast-ended Skrewt.

Words: 3,218
Chapters: 1
Hits: 527

Harry hadn't anticipated having no choice but to go to Ron and Hermione for wedding night advice. The information he got wasn't quite what he expected.

Words: 3,788
Chapters: 1
Hits: 527

The four Marauders decide to congratulate themselves for their OWL year by going to North America on vacation. From the quill of Moony, see in how much trouble four Brits can get!

Words: 631
Chapters: 1
Hits: 526
Rules of Life by Dimgwrthien
05/30/2004

Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James are bored and hot at Peter's house. They venture outside to find....

Words: 1,041
Chapters: 1
Hits: 525

I never asked to be in Hufflepuff, you know.... So begins the anonymous Hufflepuff who has chosen to share with the world the thoughts and views of a Hufflepuff. No longer a "Huffleduffer." It is time the world learned what being a Hufflepuff really means....

Words: 1,973
Chapters: 1
Hits: 525

Challenge fic. Draco's gone to a visit to the Burrow. Features Barbie dolls, Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey, sparkly mascara and a little bit of Orlando Bloom.

Words: 1,594
Chapters: 1
Hits: 525

Imagine a Hogwarts taken over by some musical lover. Is that all it takes for two people destined for each other to find their love? Friends try to convince the lovers to make their move through songs and choreographed choruses. Hogwarts is a mad house. How fun can this be?

Words: 527
Chapters: 1
Hits: 524

Remus is very distraught. He just lost another one of his best friends and he can't get over it. But then, something happens. Something that helps get over his grievances and gives him quite a laugh.

Words: 1,080
Chapters: 1
Hits: 524

Voldemort finds himself in a rather infuriating position. In order to kill Harry Potter, he has to save him first. That's right, he has to work for his kill, although he gets more than he bargained for.

Words: 765
Chapters: 1
Hits: 524

What happens when Fred and George Weasley, accompained by an...unwilling member of staff, travel back in time 400 years? They happen to bump into a certain Edmund Blackadder...

Words: 2,695
Chapters: 1
Hits: 524

When Sirius Black dumps a girl, she cries and begs him to come back. When he humiliates her in front of the whole school, she doesn't seek revenge. Never. Too bad that no one ever said that to Angela Peters. SBOC

Words: 2,253
Chapters: 1
Hits: 524

What if the veil wasn’t actually death? What if it were a portal to Germany in the early 1800s? Extremely crazy Sirius/Beethoven slash inspired by Immortal Beloved.

Words: 1,399
Chapters: 1
Hits: 523

A typical sarcastic Ravenclaw is left in the hospital wing after an... interesting... Quidditch tryout. If only she had someone to talk to.``As long as it wasn't him.

Words: 2,365
Chapters: 1
Hits: 523

Jaessa Starsley: your average, goody-goody Hogwarts student, right? Wrong! See what kind of trouble she gets into while she falls in love and is tortured (in a friendly way) by Harry and Ginny Potter's daughter, Lily.

Words: 1,816
Chapters: 2
Hits: 523

Hogwarts has its first official "science" fair, of sorts. Includes electricity, Ron doing tea leaf readings, Hermione with blue hair and Parvati's method to Divination, which doesn't really work.

Words: 2,753
Chapters: 1
Hits: 523

Eight students from the University of Magic, Heineland, attend an exchange programme to Hogwarts! What will happen...? Revolutionary changes to the owl system? An economic boom? Let's just say... Simple mayhem. (If there's such a thing.) Join the laughter!

Words: 4,438
Chapters: 2
Hits: 522

“You! What’re you doing here?”``Draco whipped around, coming face to face with a set of gorgeous blue eyes. Stepping back, he gasped in awe. Before him stood a man with long blond locks, blue eyes, tanned skin, dressed in a TEAL kilt and white pirate shirt! Wonder of wonders! “You’re almost as pretty as I am!”

Words: 1,067
Chapters: 1
Hits: 522

Lord Voldemort's own slightly twisted take on the classic poem, "The Night Before Christmas." Also, a sequel to my other Christmas fic, "Tom Riddle's 12 Days of Christmas!"

Words: 583
Chapters: 1
Hits: 522

OK...this is a random one-shot that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Harry Potter series, except that they share names. Everyone is very OOC and VERY silly. Don't read if you're looking for a good, meaningful fic!

Words: 1,367
Chapters: 1
Hits: 521

A heroic saga of forbidden love. The Romeo and Juliet of the modern age. It's Harry/Draco... in verse!

Words: 676
Chapters: 1
Hits: 521
Educating Rita by KarasAunty
09/10/2009

One formidable Longbottom grandmother and two mischievous Weasley twins teach Rita Skeeter a very public lesson... UK English, canon-ish, humour.

Words: 4,477
Chapters: 1
Hits: 520

During Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s sixth year at Hogwarts, they spend a Christmas at the Burrow. Massive hysteria ensues at the Weasley house, including (but not limited to) fighting with Fairy Lights, an exceptionally grumpy Mrs. Weasley, Arthur in big trouble with his wife, a VERY lost muggle, and lots of shouting. Oh, and what’s that in Charlie’s room? (Sorry it’s so late, but think of it this way: What better way to get your mind off of school/work than by reading about the holidays?)

Words: 6,707
Chapters: 1
Hits: 520

Whatever terrible fears Harry had about parallel universes paled in comparison to what he was about to fall into now!

Words: 2,599
Chapters: 1
Hits: 519

“…old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young…” (OotP, p. 728). Meet a young clever prankster and the-one-who-inspired-you-know-who as children: Albus Dumbledore and Adolph Grindelwald. Insight into their minds.

Words: 1,536
Chapters: 2
Hits: 519

And the wildness continues! The much-anticipated sequel to Voldie's Tea Party and Harry Potter's Tea party has finally gotten here! Draco Malfoy catches the tea party fever from Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and begins to have them in his common room. So what happens when he is interrupted? Nothing good for the interruptor. Read to find out what the heck I'm talking about!

Words: 1,607
Chapters: 1
Hits: 518

Fred and George decide to put their money where their mouth is, so to speak and branch off from the prankster business into Flobberworm Juice. Poised and ready to sell, they’re approached by the one person they’d never have expected to help. Can they trust ole’ Perc? And why does he want so badly to help them sell the new coughs slashy product coughs?

Words: 1,250
Chapters: 1
Hits: 518

Finally, there is a solution to all of Hogwarts' relationship problems! That's right, a world-renowned speaker is coming to talk at the school! Now, if only Ron wasn't in love with Hermione who's in love with Harry who's in love with... are they any love lines that *aren't* crossed in this school?

Words: 3,231
Chapters: 1
Hits: 517

We don't know about you, but we think Hagrid has promise. He needs a little work before you start shipping him off...

Words: 581
Chapters: 1
Hits: 517

"Apologies. I don't do rhetorical questions. You'll have to check with Pettigrew on that one. Every question's a rhetorical one with him, if you take the strict definition of the word, because he can't answer any of them." James Potter and Sirius Black get up to some fun. Which means anything but for poor beleagued prefect Lily Evans. And who exactly is responsible for those knights on the fourth floor, who don't usually sport pink tutus and peg legs? One-shot.

Words: 2,945
Chapters: 1
Hits: 517

It's time for History of Magic and the trio gets side-tracked by swapping notes. Harry's rather hyper, Hermione is killer with a quill and Ron is denying things.

Words: 607
Chapters: 1
Hits: 517
The Visit by PeterMurray
03/19/2004

Why doesn\\\'t Hogwarts have visits for the families of Muggle-born pupils, so that they can see what their child is getting into? Maybe they used to ... before Penelope Clearwater\\\'s parents came on such a visit.

Words: 1,644
Chapters: 1
Hits: 517

A silly short story set during Half-Blood Prince. Harry knows that Malfoy is up to no good in the Room of Requirement, but are two Hufflepuff girls helping him in exchange for money? What's the deal with Hufflepuff anyhow? And is their flying monkey really evil? The two girls are definitely plotting something and, yet again, no one seems to believe Harry. He sets out to solve the mystery of the strange, silly Hufflepuff girls... alone, if he has to.

Words: 9,028
Chapters: 1
Hits: 517

How did the greatest magic school in the world get its start? One of the Founders, Helga Hufflepuff, explains (in her own way) just how the school began....

Words: 1,057
Chapters: 1
Hits: 516

Hogwarts has decided to host a day when the house-elves serve many different dishes from many different countries! Hermione's excited, Harry's hoping there'll be pizza, and Ron, well, Ron's really not sure...

Words: 1,281
Chapters: 1
Hits: 516

Ron falls victim to an April Fools prank where he is transfigured into a rat. How does a rat survive a day in the hazard world of Hogwarts? How will he escape the clutches of a very randy Voldemort? Featuring clueless Ron, frustrated Hermione, indignant Draco, repenting Harry, disappointed Lucius, and two half-giants who are not afraid to experiment with the floo network! A sequel of sorts to A Day in the Life of a Ferret.

Words: 5,596
Chapters: 1
Hits: 516

Harry ponders how his point of view on love, Ron, and socks has changed since personally admitting his feelings for Draco. Sequel to "Disbelief." (Runs parallel to "Acceptance.")

Words: 1,416
Chapters: 1
Hits: 516
Five Knuts by Rapunzel
01/21/2005

Parvati and Lavender have come up with a most brilliant idea. How do they drag Hermione into it, and how does a telescope fit in?

Words: 1,459
Chapters: 1
Hits: 515

The holidays are about to arrive, and no one can find Draco Malfoy! Where is he? Why is he gone? And why did Hagrid shave his beard? Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione, Seamus/Dean.``Watch out for those garden shears!

Words: 1,530
Chapters: 1
Hits: 515
Green by RavenRosebud
10/30/2004

Another story where Longbottom has an accident in Potions and Harry faces the consequences, but with a twist.

Words: 1,573
Chapters: 1
Hits: 515

Tonight on the David Letterman Show, Remus Lupin!``Remus wants to give Letterman a piece of his mind.

Words: 540
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514

Dun Dun Dun.... Harry Potter goes Grease! Lupin in a lounge dress? Snape with backup singers? It's all here in a crazy Harry``Potter tale with a Grease-like theme!

Words: 1,201
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514

Why is Remus angry? What is Sirius up to this time? Why does chocolate taste so good when it's supposed to be bad for you?

Words: 1,112
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514
There Can Be Only One by Fyre
12/03/2004

Potter/Discworld crossover - Returned to the Land of the Living, a small clan of Nac Mac Feegles find themselves thrown headlong into a world they never expected, without Gonnagle or Kelda. Whhat's going on? Where did all the bigjobs spring from? And what about the man in a tin suit in the pitcher?

Words: 11,409
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514
Roach by dented-sky
09/15/2004

Lucius knows better than anyone that if Harry Potter is dating Draco Malfoy, the World is about to End. Slash, obviously.

Words: 2,080
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514
Choosing a Portkey by Hamsini
01/12/2005

Watch Tonks, Charlie and Sirius break their heads about their futures. Yes, they're just past trading wizard cards!

Words: 1,428
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514

What happened to a certain character's property after he died? The Wisconsin Court of Appeals had a real headache to deal with... Inspired by a discussion on A.J. Hall's LiveJournal after OotP's release. Refers to characters from Lust Over Pendle.

Words: 2,212
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514

During a botched lecture on sexual education, Professor Snape yields in favor of someone much more educated...Roger Davies.

Words: 2,626
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514

Five years after defeating You-Know-Who in his final year at Hogwarts, Harry suddenly emerges from a long disappearance to meet up with Hermione and Ron in a Muggle bar for the first time since graduation. Their conversation reveals the shocking truth about where Harry has been hiding out, why Dumbledore was really kicked out of Hogwarts, and what, exactly, is a Magic Milkworm. WARNING: May spoil the Harry Potter books for you forever.

Words: 3,061
Chapters: 1
Hits: 514
Rita Skeeter by Ellie Weasley
01/21/2005

Rita Skeeter is at the top of her game, a regular gossip queen with riddikulus amounts of money. So, naturally, only the best will do! Follow Rita through a typical day.

Words: 500
Chapters: 1
Hits: 513
Harry's Obsession by Dreigon
03/25/2004

Do you believe in love at first sight? Harry does. But the amount of time he spends thinking of his beloved - is it really considered love... or obsession? People always assume that they know who Harry's heart belongs to, but they are wrong... dead wrong. Since the first time Harry looked, he was in love. Love that would turn into an obsession... Harry's obsession.

Words: 618
Chapters: 1
Hits: 513

At breakfast, Hermione did not see Parvati, but she did see her giant yellow and purple polka dot hat.

Words: 1,350
Chapters: 1
Hits: 511

I just had to put someone in harem pants and finger bells, and then Hermione caught my eye. She isn?t quite ready for the ordeal yet, but I intend to make her work very, very hard. Oh, and the reason or her being in this unseemly position is, of course, academic interest. After all, how far should you let your research take you? Also, to make things clear, I am not Draco Malfoy, I am just another evil thought being stifled for lack of space in his golden head. Phew! It?s hard to breathe in here!

Words: 1,750
Chapters: 1
Hits: 511

What happens when Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Draco are picked up by Muggles who want to see them perform magic? Humor and mayhem, that's what!

Words: 3,007
Chapters: 1
Hits: 511

Uncle Voldie talks about his problems with his shrink. Slash implied, idiocy galore.

Words: 2,978
Chapters: 1
Hits: 511
Two Days by Vinagrette
11/09/2003

Draco has never really gotten along well with children and is most unimpressed when Harry invites a baby into their apartment.

Words: 1,351
Chapters: 1
Hits: 511

Imagine yourself working for the Ministry and had to control the wizards and witches, who are going to the Quidditch World Cup. A/N Trust me, you won't regret reading this story or....I....eat my shoe.

Words: 863
Chapters: 1
Hits: 510

"Shall I tell you something? I hate cats. With a passion. I hate cats. And dogs, too, come to think of it. I hate dogs, as well." Severus Snape

Words: 2,005
Chapters: 1
Hits: 510

Response to rachelmalfoy's "St Patrick's Day Challenge"! Involves our favourite Gryffindor boys in a woman's lingerie store, a somewhat garbled Lord of the Rings quote and the colour green.

Words: 839
Chapters: 1
Hits: 510

Harry Potter has finally defeated Lord Voldemort, and in "reward" gets a temple built to his honour. No one wishes to hire Harry - as they are scared of his Divine Powers. This is not an acceptable situation, and Harry takes action.

Words: 1,225
Chapters: 1
Hits: 509

Come one! Come all! Can a Crossover of Hannibal and Harry Potter be done? Of course it can, you nitwit! This fic brings a whole new meaning to H/Hr. Get a clue! The H doesn't stand for Harry in this one! Plays about the Malfoys and drooling contests ensue, along with mad snog sessions.

Words: 2,183
Chapters: 1
Hits: 509

Weasleys, Weasleys, and more Weasleys, but for a reason. Each chapter is a story about a Weasely and their favorite fruit... and how they got their favorite fruit. 1st chapter's Bill! Moral: Never get in between a Weasley and their fruit... especially not on said Weasleys' birthday.

Words: 2,821
Chapters: 1
Hits: 509
Infatuation by Miss Tito
07/15/2003

The heart-wrenching tale of a professor and a student's love for each other. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you may be a bit disgusted! Involves a portrait out of character, a bit of Mass Snogging, and a very, very Hogwarts ceremony.

Words: 3,279
Chapters: 1
Hits: 509
NIGYYSOB by Jedi Penguin
05/02/2004

Snape is going to end this war, one way or another.

Words: 501
Chapters: 1
Hits: 508

The title says it all! Tom Jones (LOL), Fangirl Petunia, and Snape's tea party!

Words: 501
Chapters: 1
Hits: 508
Changeling by Lydiabennet
12/31/2006

Fred wants a dog more than anything, and he'll do anything to get one. Anything at all.

Words: 2,059
Chapters: 1
Hits: 508

Something rather strange happens during a Divination lesson, and Harry decides he doesn't like eating fish.

Words: 1,178
Chapters: 1
Hits: 508

Short one-shot story about Harry's - and Hermione's - ah...interesting choice of jobs.... This story includes SLASH (Snape/numerous Gryffindor boys).

Words: 1,614
Chapters: 1
Hits: 507

Next in the Monty Python series--it's Draco's turn! Enjoy!

Words: 956
Chapters: 1
Hits: 507

After an incident at work, Draco is forced to see a therapist or risk losing his job. To say he's angry is putting it lightly. But when he gets to the office and sees the name Ginevra M. Weasley on the door... well... it only adds fuel to the flame. But Ginny isn't exactly ready to embrace Draco with open arms, either....

Words: 848
Chapters: 1
Hits: 507
Patronus Practice by sylphiel
09/03/2003

Luna and Ginny practice for the D.A. Hilarity ensues. Minor OotP spoilers.

Words: 850
Chapters: 1
Hits: 507
Say What? by captainmkbleu
01/19/2008

Ron has an accident in his closet while getting ready for his date with Luna...then Harry and Hermione make a trip to the closet after having a jinx fiasco.

Words: 529
Chapters: 1
Hits: 507
The Red Queen by athenaprime
08/23/2003

Thanks to a bet lost to Malfoy, Ron gets in touch with his feminine side and finds out why the Queen is the most powerful piece on the chess board. Featuring CabaretDrag!Ron, Disco!Harry, and 'Fro!Hermione

Words: 4,478
Chapters: 1
Hits: 507

What would happen if Neville decided that Snape deserved a taste of his own medicine?

Words: 1,402
Chapters: 1
Hits: 506
The End by fbline
08/05/2004

In appreciation of the author's inclusion of more humorous stories, the Hogwarts students invite me to spend sometime with them in their world. A continuation of sorts from "I Panicked."

Words: 1,830
Chapters: 1
Hits: 506

Maybe those fumes in Potions have some side effects, because Harry and Ron are seeing Hermione talking with Malfoy. But probably Malfoy is just evil and put her under the Imperius curse. Meanwhile the Weasley twins are spending some quality time in the Slytherin dungeons. (Let me tell you Snape is not one happy camper in this fic.) Some Hufflepuffs are trying to get a boyfriend they don't have to share. Everyone else is just off trying to get lucky... and they took the plot with them.

Words: 3,003
Chapters: 1
Hits: 506