2,221 - 2,240 of 3,594 Stories

Indiana Jones invades Hogwarts, much to the dismay of the staff and students.

After Number Four, Privet Drive is bulldozed and two strange men appear to inform Harry that the world is going to end in ten minutes, Harry hitches a ride on a Vogon spaceship and ends up having some very strange adventures.

This idea came to me while reading an interview with Tom Felton regarding Draco's character and then it hit me; what if somehow, Harry, Draco, Tom, and Dan were to appear on a talk show together? I think it would go a little something like this.

Just like the title says, 'A Random Two Days in the Life'.

Harry spends Christmas his sixth year at the Burrow...but why are there singing gnomes? Why is Remus wearing fuzzy bunny slippers? What is a Muggle doing at the Christmas dinner? And does Ron really know how to bake? (Written in response to a challenge.)

It\'s another dull lesson of History of Magic, so what does Ron do? What does any normal and healthy teenager do? Why, starts passing notes to his friends of course.

More Draco/girl!Blaise madness. Blaise has detention. Draco is there to monitor her progress. Or make her life hell. One-shot.

A counter-curse botched causes something that really isn't all of anything. Perhaps it's just something that will cause Harry distress! No, it's the Curse of... Proverbs?

Dark humour. The A&T boys are all grown up now. Magical beasts ran amok at Potter Manor. Could Hagrid the gormless gamekeeper save the day?

Here it is, for all of you who asked for it--Rita Skeeter is back, with a new article chock-full of evil and revealing quotes! Enjoy and laugh!

Some Valentine's Days are worse than others. One-shot ficlet.

Having shared my dorm with guys for the past five years, I've seen many things. Some are funny and some are pretty darn stupid. But the ones that are most memorable are the ones when your dorm mates think you’re not looking, but you secretly are. Anyway... here’s a little story on the get-ups of Harry and Ron when they thought nobody was watching.

James Potter, the son of Harry Potter and Ginny Potter, suggests that his father buy some Jose Cuervo... but it was just a JOKE! Now James has to watch his father... What a night!

“Oh.” He seemed to be saying that a lot, Remus realized. And a lot of blinking. But damn, what else was one supposed to do when faced with Sirius Black back from the dead, bearing the strangest story Remus had ever heard, and being incredibly horny? Remus/Sirius.

Ron is desperate to find the perfect Valentine's gift - but is his father's shed really the best place to look?

After Voldemort’s defeat, all Harry wants is some rest and relaxation. He shouldn't have let Fred and George handle the travel arrangements. 3rd place winner in The Leaky Cauldron’s “HP in Vegas” contest.

It's Harry's 17th birthday and he can finally do magic outside of Hogwarts. He needs a good spell to mark the occasion, but what?

You probably think of Voldemort and his Death Eaters as terrible, heartless people, and you are normally correct. But for one week every year, they are able to escape the stress of the wizarding world by going on vacation...the Muggle way! Join everyone's favorite antagonists on their annual road trip to the beach, because something tells me this year may be the most exciting yet! Expect OOC behavior and plenty of laughs (at least I hope so)! And just let me warn you beforehand- this is my longest, wackiest and most random fic yet. So let the wackiness begin! Muahahahaha.....

Follow up to "Uh-Oh!" more end-of-the-year pranks!! Ron tries something new, but it doesn't agree with him...

We all know that Harry likes Cho. It's effecting everyones lives, from Ron to Draco. Plans are devised to get even with Cho for being only what she is. Who knows what will happen in the end with a massive Cho Army set loose?!

After the disastrous proposal in "A Comedy of Errors", Harry and Hermione decided to get married. Both decided that they've had enough of excitement to last them a lifetime during the proposal and only wish for a perfect and quiet wedding. Will their wish be granted? Sequel to "A Comedy of Errors" with ideas from the challenge "A Very Crazy Wedding". Please read and review.

The Dream Team and their arch-enemy are brought together to discuss the latest fanfics from the Muggles and quietly debate them. Let the sparks fly.

The war is over, and Severus Snape is in Azkaban. With Chocolate Frogs. Could there be worse? Well, yes. Correspondence about them. Just what is really going on?

Ron finds himself lonely at Christmas, Harry and Ginny are oblivious of everyone but each other, and Hermione is visiting Krum in Bulgaria. Who will help Ron get through a lonely and tedious Christmas night and maybe give him the courage to tell Hermione how he really feels? Read on and find out.

Written in response to a challenge. Hermione is irritable, Ron has foot-in-mouth disease, and Harry is reluctant but ever the hero.

These are the thoughts of a school shrink who came to the school but no one knows why. She faces BIG fights with her melt downs and encounters six people who make her life difficult.

It's the film version of Harry's FIRST year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Or at least, how the film SHOULD have been! Welcome to the Madhouse!

When I dare to ATEMPT to write a NORMAL fanfic, who shows up but... everybody! Absolutly hilarious. If you like the evil people read at your own risk. You might just have to kill me.

There is a crisis at Hogwarts, the students are all overweight and are eating obscene amounts of food. The Ministry must do something, so they turn to a muggle chef whose TV show has transformed Muggle school dinners. But what happens when it all goes wrong and the students start to revolt?

Caution: Should only be attempted by professional fangirls. This sort of thing can be more dangerous than playfully poking dragons and is a good way to get on Snape's hit list. OCs and tricks abound, now comes with shampoo!

Harry and Ginny go to marriage counseling with two of the strangest people they've met. Involves a mound of pillows, a bataka bat, Ginny trying to take off someone's pants, a very confused Harry, people popping out of the pillows, a bathroom spigot, and several beatings of the bataka bat. Based on the ten-minute play "Pillow Talk." Characters are OOC.

What happens when the three greatest wizards in fiction get together for a little tea party!

An answer to a challenge. Featuring: Drunk!Draco, a Wandering Trio, Voldemort, a Feline-Frog, and Discworld's Death

It is Christmas Eve and a child is waiting with a purpose.

The long-awaited sequel to the hit phenomenon "Interruptions"! This is where we learn that the boys wear accidentally dyed pink underwear, and that even the best kisser can kiss like a penguin. Featuring three-quarters of the Marauders and their girlfriends.

When Professor Trelawney's dreams of a romantic tryst with Professor Snape are interrupted by a swarm of rabid vampire bats, she must find the courage to save herself, Hogwarts, and her beloved. Not for grammar-freaks; this summary contains more sentences than the fic.

Ever wonder what a headmaster does during sumer break? Ever wonder how the Triwizard Tournament got started? Ever wonder what Olympe Maxime looks like in a bikini? Well, the last will have to be left up to your imagination. But for the rest, here's the _real_ story! Originally written for the Try-Wizard Contest

What do Ron and Hermione's son think of the new baby? (#2 in the Welcome Home series.)

Harry, Draco, Luna, a promise, and an exchange.

Ron and Hermione are to be married on this happiest of days. The twins would rather not be there when it happens.

Snape decides to branch out a bit on his upcoming assigment. Unfortunately, his target subjects are not cooperating.

...I threw an over-obsessive girlfriend, a pyromaniac, someone who's obsessed with Sirius Black, someone who's never read the Harry Potter books, and myself back into Maurader Land? You shall see!

Harry's random thoughts as he lusts after Draco. Sequel to "Could It Get Any Worse?".

In her first year teaching at Hogwarts, Hermione may not think she likes Snape very much, but she could be wrong.... Once Ginny gets involved, there's bound to be trouble. Love potions and lust potions and some crazy, nutty mix-ups, oh my! Watch out for fluffy, pink, sex-crazed bunnies and a shameful number of jokes involving stirring rods.

I am Luna, hidden mastermind. I am Loony Luna Lovegood, perceived as strange by all, confusing by most, and dim by some. I am the kook, the nut, the eccentric outsider… My absurdity frightens people at times, but for the most part, they believe I am a harmless weirdo. What these people don’t realize is that the Sorting Hat put me in Ravenclaw for a reason. I am Luna Lovegood, secret evil genius, and this is my story.

There's something strange about Lavender's pet rabbit Binky... (British version)

[Second in the Dream Trilogy] Hermione Granger embarks on a glorious adventure to discover and apprehend the nefarious Rogue Transfigurationalist, who is indiscriminately turning people into cows and rhinoceroses. Blaise Zabini, however, has set out to distract her.

"And don't take too long, Weasley, the delay on that firelegs report held our investigation up for a month."``"If you had read my report you would know that the term is 'firearms,'" said Mr. Weasley coolly. (OotP, page 132, American Edition)``Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt use their masterful powers of misdirection and invention to serve the Order- one memo at a time.

An account of a weird dream that Harry had one day in the History of Magic class.

Harry's gone ghetto, a vicious beast attacks Professor Snape, Voldie's pretty, and Hagrid's untold past is finally told! (For real this time!) Through all of this, Hermione curses the day she was conceived.

Something is very, very, very, very, very wrong with Hermione, and it is up to Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to find out what!

In this story, the Gryffindors and Slytherins are having potions class. Once again, Snape is torturing Neville in front of the class... But to Snape's surprise, Neville draws out his wand and points it at him... what will happen??

What would happen if Ron and Hermione decided to be museum thieves? When they have to steal a talking portrait who thinks a whole lot of herself from the London Institute of Thrilling and Mysterious Artifacts, all sorts of craziness takes place. Tears, laughs, a snog or two, lies, and PartnersInCrime!RonandHermione occur.

Is it too late for Harry when Voldemort is literally right behind him? Well IS it?

Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts is overshadowed by the defeat of Lord Voldemort the previous summer. Dumbledore decides to liven up the students by producing a school musical. Featuring Draco as Maria and Harry as Tony, with others in supporting roles.

Poor Ginny Snape. Quite apart from having the daftest name in the history of the world, she's got a cruel step-father, two evil stepsisters and a bad case of unrequited love for Harry Potter, The Prince Who Lived. Even worse,``she's still got her Potions essay to write, and it's already twenty-five past thirty-two in the Hogwarts kitchens.``Oh, yeah, and she's just been assigned the two most incompetent fairy godmothers in the history of the profession, at least one of whom is more concerned with political correctness than actually getting the job done and bringing about the bliss that is Twue Wuv.``Killer high heels! The curse of the toad! A thousand elephants! All this and much, much more, once upon a time...``Chapter 1 of 2: Balls

And so Harry Potter lived to a ripe old age, became Minister for Magic and had twelve children. What if at least one of Trelawney's prophecies actually came true?

A month or two before Harry received a letter that changed his life, he was having a dream about a flying motorbike. What were the thoughts and dreams of some other Hogwarts students in the days, weeks and months before they received their letters?

For the March2007 challenge. Fudge pays an unexpected visit to Hogwarts.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away. What? I'm sure that spider/acromantula had every right to be there!

You've seen the movie (or have you?). Well it doesn't matter, because this fic bears little to no resemblance to the fine picture. I present, therefore, for your amusement, your favorite characters from the "Smoke Two Joints" series taking a mad trip through Diagon Alley. Acid; LSD; Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. Psilocin. Psilocybin. Plenty of Tetrahydrocannabinol, for good measure. Read the fic. Laugh it up. Peace out. ````Rated "R" for some profanity and extreme drug use.

What if Monty Python's sketch Hungarian Phrasebook happened at Hogwarts?

Things for Draco and Harry in Arithmancy are bitter, until a strange twist and an odd kiss. With manticores, DayNightmares and rude signs, this is keeps you wondering to the end.

Essence of Bleeding heart in a potion, Neville as a Potions partner? Obviously Harry peeved off Snape pretty good, so where do the consequences land him? In the Slytherin House of course...

Sequal to Ogden's Old Firewhisky. Fred and George lose their enchanted Red Currant Rum.

A parody of the first Harry Potter movie.

A missing moment from OotP, Ginny pleads with Luna to stand up to her brothers' teasing.

Seamus just wants Ron to come out from under his bed. He has some rather unusual methods of getting him out. Hey, at least it works! S/R S/O

When a mysterious dog appears on the Hogwarts grounds, Professor McGonagall is forced to seek temporary shelter with Professor Flitwick. Written for the hp_friendships challenge on LiveJournal.

Nanny Ogg goes to Hogwarts to help out in the kitchens and ends up practising her very special brand of magic. Will Granny (assisted by Snape) save the day? Will Snape find true love? Will Hogwarts ever be the same again?

A Draco/girl!Blaise moment in Potions. Boys will be boys. One-shot.

Sirius Black's interest in wizarding comics leads to some startling discoveries.

AU: Written Pre-HBP. Eighteen-year-old Severus Snape is having a very bad day. After getting into a argument with his "future wife" (until he finds a way out or they kill each other), Potter and Black steal his chocolate eggs his mother sent him. After a very unexpected kind act by someone equally as unlikely, Severus does something he regrets.

We've all got to find jobs when we leave school. How did Dean Thomas get into his present line of business?

Professor Marchbanks of the Wizarding Examination Authority has a little score to settle with Dolores Umbridge.

It's a new year at Hogwarts and there's a new DADA professor and Potions Master. And just what does Dumbledore want?``Also Entitled: What Should Have Happened. AU to OotP.

Harry finds himself back in action after years of living in sin.

Features Hermione and Draco, although not together. Read only if you are dying for another parody of Mary Sues, and if you have a fondness for Mike Nelson, or randomness. And references to other parodies that I have enjoyed. I wanted to do a humorous story, after reading so many cheesy MS stories as well as well-written parodies on ffnet. I wanted to tip my hat to other stories’ universes. So many have written such awesome fics that it’s a wonder I ever get anything else done. It’s my way of paying a tribute.

In Hogwarts, like in all the other Wizarding schools of the world, the staff must confront trouble with the Love Potions frequently. In a castle packed with teenagers it only seems to be inevitable.

Interruptions is the story of the real notes between the Marauders when they were in school. But that's not this story. This story is basically the same, but with an actual plot. However, it does take place after James and Lily's wedding. Watch as the story unfolds in the next installment of 'Interruptions'.

Draco isn't really sure how Pansy convinced him to come here. Well, yes he does know. But that doesn't make it any better ... Warning: Trio love, gay!fanon!Draco and drunken!slutty!Pansy. You have been warned.

Another addition to the HairyDragon fables. You know how the story goes, but mine has a few twists...

Ron, determined to be a protective older brother, decides to send Dean a friendly owl over the summer defending his sister's virtue. He is surprisingly bad at this... read to see him struggle with deathless prose, a lack of firearms, and unhelpful older brothers.

Ron, afer finding out about the "fiction" world of Harry Potter, decided that he needs to send Rupert Grint a letter. He tells a bit about the "real" world and how crazy everyone thinks he is. Includes discussion of the professors and blingful!Dumbledore.

Everyone has to die sometime. And Trevor... Well, lets just say... What a way to go!

Double Fantasy: the long-awaited sequel to both "The Cruel Fate of the Innocent" and "The Dueling Club Revisited". Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and all the other people that you'd expect in any respectable humorfic come together for Christmas dinner.

During their fifth year at Hogwarts, the Marauders get a very interesting surprise when a contagious, personality-altering potion is slipped into James' drink. Who did it and what will happen in the process of finding that out?

Sequel to Okay, It Had to be Done! Yes, it's a while, because my ...um pet...dictionary has been sick. Now where was I? Oh yes, another well-written, plotfilled successful parody of Harry Potter fanfiction... couldn't make it so I've given you this instead. Thank you for your time, and get some tape for your sides.

Another parody--this one of just about every romance with Remus and/or Sirius ever written. Contains TONS of implied naughtiness, both slash and het, and also some rather opinionated ranting. Read at your own risk!

Sequel to "The Shotgun Bride." The further adventures of redneck!Draco and Ginny as they deal with family, friends, marriage and everything else that comes their way.

Luna tells a bedtime story to her daughter of lawn-gnomes striking back at two children.

Five years. That's how long Neville Longbottom has put up with Severus Snape, and he is fed up. With the help of the Weasley Wonder Twins, Neville takes out his comical revenge on his greatest fear. With a boggart in a hat box and a camera, I can't imagine what will happen next.

Malfoy became a Death Eater and was caught by Harry. For his punishment{on Harry's request}, he was turned into a ferret. He escapes into a nearby house, which happened to be Neville Longbottom's. Just a warning, the narrators are insane! This is where our story begins...

Maia Christine Knight is a relatively normal, average Slytherin girl. It's an image she wants to keep up. However, her father is back - actually has been for over a year, but finally remembered her. It isn't easy being the Dark Lord's daughter (whom he dotes upon), especially when you're given the task of 'seducing' Harry Potter. Yep. As predicted, it all does end in a crazy mess. It doesn't help when you have to deal with an amorous Malfoy, jealous rivals, and a suspicious Granger. But she has help from her friends, in the form of the brilliant but violent Theo Nott, the 'weirdo' Blaise Zabini, and Steph Nott (she's having more fun with this than she should be). Unbeknownst to Maia, though, Dumbledore and Snape have ahold of her diary...

It's Halloween and Draco is bored stiff out of his mind. So, what does he get up to in the Forbidden Forest? Who does he, unfortunately, meet there unexpectedly? Something goes terribly wrong; will Draco have to live with it forever? Find out who and what Stompy is!

In the traditional fairytale innuendo... nothing makes much sense...

Hermione's parents want to meet the two boys who are her best friends to make sure they're not her boyfriends. When Harry and Ron show up at the Grangers' for Christmas, hilarity follows. That also might have to do with the boy-hating father or the lovesick neighbour.

Ron and Hermione have invited Harry to move in with them, and Harry wants to. The only problem is explaining exactly why to Remus and Sirius...``Harry/Ron/Hermione and Remus/Sirius

The story behind Harry's absolutely very first broom... whose idea was it really?

They say that role play can spice things up in the bedroom... But will it work for Seamus and Dean?