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In a tale of forks, golden tassels and cake, Ginny endures an uncomfortable meal at the Malfoys.

A little AU fic in which Harry oversleeps on the day of the Quidditch Final against Slytherin, and a desperate Oliver Wood rather hastily chooses a replacement Seeker.

This parody follows the adventures of Bel, a typical Mary Sue character, as she encounters Gilderoy Lockhart and other characters (not the typical ones, either), goes to Africa, and has all sorts of odd happenings along the way. Purple prose and double entendres are intelligently, if not innovatively used. Need we remind you, this is a parody. If you lack a sense of humor, enter at your own peril.

Even Death Eaters need to stock up on the necessities sometimes, and Lord Voldemort must provide. So how does the malevolent Dark Lord handle this daunting task? Why, he goes shopping, of course! This is my first fic, and it's very silly and OOC. I hope it makes you laugh!

The two Harry Potter universes have merged; The Universe of Fanfiction and the Universe of Canon. One can only imagine the chaos that ensues.

Based on a fic challenge on alt.fan.harry-potter. Harry and Draco are in trouble again. This time their punishment is a little different from any they've had before. Sent to a world that isn't really real, they have two weeks to prove they can get along with each other and the residents of their temporary home.

It's all fun and games until evil cat toys hex Harry's homework - then it's just fun.

On a summer afternoon in Grimmauld Place, Ginny and Tonks find out that they have a little something in common.

Kind of a sequel to my first fanfic. Harry is settling in for a quiet evening in his house when he recieves a surprise visit from Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, who offers to help him fight Voldie. Rated PG-13 for language and nudity.

Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is now a celebrity Quidditch player, famous, eligible and dogged by the gutter press. His old school friend Ron Weasley, on the other hand, is working a parchment-pushing job at Gringotts, fighting a nasty temper and a tendency to get into fights with a particular Draco Malfoy.

American Idol Harry Potter Style! Pointless at first, but will get better. With a hilarious panel of judges, and hilarious songs, not to mention our favorite commentator...

Harry is going on the most vile, offensive adventure of his short career! He might get sick and puke, but at least he'll offend you! Or something like that.

A holy mistake is made and Snape faces much peril.

Gilderoy Lockhart is preparing for his first Yule Ball. He's seen to every detail - his hair, his eyes, his profile, his custom robes. Every detail, that is, but one. Where does one find kissing lessons? Written for the HP Kris Kringle Secret Santa Exchange.

A look at fanfiction from the other side. This fic was written a decade ago. As such, the grammar and punctuation may not be up to my current standard. However, there are no current plans to rework my older fics.

I was inspired by the 'Can't buy me love' thing sent in, where a reviewer said 'Do one on Paperback Writer', so I said, 'Heck, why not.' I hope someone has not already done this. Anyway, it's loosely based on the lyrics to the hit Beatles song 'Paperback Writer'.

On his way to gather ‘the old crowd’, Sirius has a frightening encounter. What is a wizard to do when he knows he is about to die? Drive his best friend to distraction and beyond, that’s what! Silly challenge fic written before OotP so now totally AU.

Terry Boot is the star of the highest rating apparition show in Wizarding history, the aptly named, Terry Boot Show. He is an expert at airing people’s dirtiest laundry and exposing their biggest scandals in front of thousands of viewers. But when he invites some of the most famous witches and wizards in the world on his program, he gets a little more than he bargained for. It seems Terry Boot has a little dirty laundry of his own…

Draco has a very strange conversation with Snape. References to slash.

After seeing the boggart scene in PoA, and how Malfoy and his cronies were trying to push to the front of the line, I began to wonder what Malfoy's boggart would've been....

Ever wondered what heroes do when they go too far with trying to rescue people? Well, it turns out...it's an illness called SUPERMAN SYNDROME! And guess what? All our favourite comic book, fictional and television heroes have it! From Buffy to Hellboy to X-Men to Lord of the Rings to Artemis Fowl and even our beloved Harry Potter...come along to the meeting and see them try to sort out their heroism. Rated 'R' for language and random acts of violence.

Severus Snape challenges self-absorbed Gilderoy Lockhart to a walk-off after Harry and Draco's duel. RuPaul makes a cameo as the judge. Snape vogues.

What would happen if Prof. Lockhart actually met a werewolf? One must grant that our favorite werewolf was more than fair.

Ever wonder how Hogwarts came to be?

The Malfoys have a little rodent problem.

The Weasley twins manage to destroy Voldemort and his Death Eaters? Who could have predicted it? Inspired by Monty Python.

Harry finds love for one of the most unusual people. It's all good until he runs into another person he comes to love. Harry's hardest choice is still in front of him: which one to pick? In this series, Harry is caught out of bed more than once, Ron begins to get suspicious and wonders what Harry is really doing during his long absences, and Draco gets Polyjuiced. There are a lot of misunderstandings and crazy twists that will have you laughing your butt off.

A particularly...um...random story, in which entails a rather insane infatuation with high-heels from our little hero.

Why Sirius should never have been allowed to read Edgar Allan Poe. Based loosely on "The Fall of the House of Usher."

For Gilderoy Lockhart, there are a few bumps on the road to recovery...

This quick little story chronicles the moments right before the future Mr. and Mrs. Weasley take action on their crushes! Cute and short.

This one-shot is from Snape's point-of-view just before the boggart scene in PoA. It's a tribute to all those obsessive vampire theorists.

Harry and Ginny's rehearsal dinner turns out to be an interesting and humorous event.

Because I really wanted Umbridge to die. AU during OotP, wherein Hermione is just a little bit more ruthless.

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are passing each other in the halls one day when Malfoy mistakes an everyday bodily function for a serious illness. Draco then sets Harry up with a crazy doctor who probably doesn't even have his Ph.D. in medical school.

On the due date of Michael Zabini's first child, he and his co-workers at the Ministry of magic have a conversation about babies and how horri- I mean how wonderful they are (yeah, right). Featuring everyone's favourite parents and Goyle senior.

These are filks based on the musical "City of``Angels". Here you can hear Hermione's final words``before she makes the Polyjuice Potion, Neville``complain about his lack of talent, Ron fight with``Hermione over the Yule Ball, Tom Marvolo Riddle gloat``over Harry in the Chamber of Secrets and Moaning``Myrtle croon to Harry in the Prefects' Bathroom. Try``it, you'll like it!

Sequel to Hermione Makes Huge Mistakes. Huge Mistakes. Mistakes that are Huge. Hermione's accepted to go to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum, even though it was a Huge Mistake. With non-descriptive snogs, jokes by Hermione Granger, and of course some trashing of Viktor Krum's accent. Because his accent is just too funny.

A five hundred and fifty word drabble on why Tonks and Fleur feel a certain pull to werewolves. Hey, it's all in the animal magnetism!

Ever since Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire's raging success, countless devoted fans have awaited the coming of the fifth book. But it does take awfully long for J.K. Rowling to write. While she is kept away from her writing and distracted by her life, Harry's now rather disoriented one marches on... A fic written in anticipation of Harry the Teenager in a flowerbed, and emphasizing the importance of keeping in character.

Indiana Jones invades Hogwarts, much to the dismay of the staff and students.

After Number Four, Privet Drive is bulldozed and two strange men appear to inform Harry that the world is going to end in ten minutes, Harry hitches a ride on a Vogon spaceship and ends up having some very strange adventures.

This idea came to me while reading an interview with Tom Felton regarding Draco's character and then it hit me; what if somehow, Harry, Draco, Tom, and Dan were to appear on a talk show together? I think it would go a little something like this.

Just like the title says, 'A Random Two Days in the Life'.

Harry spends Christmas his sixth year at the Burrow...but why are there singing gnomes? Why is Remus wearing fuzzy bunny slippers? What is a Muggle doing at the Christmas dinner? And does Ron really know how to bake? (Written in response to a challenge.)

It\'s another dull lesson of History of Magic, so what does Ron do? What does any normal and healthy teenager do? Why, starts passing notes to his friends of course.

More Draco/girl!Blaise madness. Blaise has detention. Draco is there to monitor her progress. Or make her life hell. One-shot.

A counter-curse botched causes something that really isn't all of anything. Perhaps it's just something that will cause Harry distress! No, it's the Curse of... Proverbs?

Dark humour. The A&T boys are all grown up now. Magical beasts ran amok at Potter Manor. Could Hagrid the gormless gamekeeper save the day?

Here it is, for all of you who asked for it--Rita Skeeter is back, with a new article chock-full of evil and revealing quotes! Enjoy and laugh!

Some Valentine's Days are worse than others. One-shot ficlet.

Having shared my dorm with guys for the past five years, I've seen many things. Some are funny and some are pretty darn stupid. But the ones that are most memorable are the ones when your dorm mates think you’re not looking, but you secretly are. Anyway... here’s a little story on the get-ups of Harry and Ron when they thought nobody was watching.

James Potter, the son of Harry Potter and Ginny Potter, suggests that his father buy some Jose Cuervo... but it was just a JOKE! Now James has to watch his father... What a night!

“Oh.” He seemed to be saying that a lot, Remus realized. And a lot of blinking. But damn, what else was one supposed to do when faced with Sirius Black back from the dead, bearing the strangest story Remus had ever heard, and being incredibly horny? Remus/Sirius.

Ron is desperate to find the perfect Valentine's gift - but is his father's shed really the best place to look?

After Voldemort’s defeat, all Harry wants is some rest and relaxation. He shouldn't have let Fred and George handle the travel arrangements. 3rd place winner in The Leaky Cauldron’s “HP in Vegas” contest.

It's Harry's 17th birthday and he can finally do magic outside of Hogwarts. He needs a good spell to mark the occasion, but what?

You probably think of Voldemort and his Death Eaters as terrible, heartless people, and you are normally correct. But for one week every year, they are able to escape the stress of the wizarding world by going on vacation...the Muggle way! Join everyone's favorite antagonists on their annual road trip to the beach, because something tells me this year may be the most exciting yet! Expect OOC behavior and plenty of laughs (at least I hope so)! And just let me warn you beforehand- this is my longest, wackiest and most random fic yet. So let the wackiness begin! Muahahahaha.....

Follow up to "Uh-Oh!" more end-of-the-year pranks!! Ron tries something new, but it doesn't agree with him...

We all know that Harry likes Cho. It's effecting everyones lives, from Ron to Draco. Plans are devised to get even with Cho for being only what she is. Who knows what will happen in the end with a massive Cho Army set loose?!

After the disastrous proposal in "A Comedy of Errors", Harry and Hermione decided to get married. Both decided that they've had enough of excitement to last them a lifetime during the proposal and only wish for a perfect and quiet wedding. Will their wish be granted? Sequel to "A Comedy of Errors" with ideas from the challenge "A Very Crazy Wedding". Please read and review.

The Dream Team and their arch-enemy are brought together to discuss the latest fanfics from the Muggles and quietly debate them. Let the sparks fly.

The war is over, and Severus Snape is in Azkaban. With Chocolate Frogs. Could there be worse? Well, yes. Correspondence about them. Just what is really going on?

Ron finds himself lonely at Christmas, Harry and Ginny are oblivious of everyone but each other, and Hermione is visiting Krum in Bulgaria. Who will help Ron get through a lonely and tedious Christmas night and maybe give him the courage to tell Hermione how he really feels? Read on and find out.

Written in response to a challenge. Hermione is irritable, Ron has foot-in-mouth disease, and Harry is reluctant but ever the hero.

These are the thoughts of a school shrink who came to the school but no one knows why. She faces BIG fights with her melt downs and encounters six people who make her life difficult.

It's the film version of Harry's FIRST year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Or at least, how the film SHOULD have been! Welcome to the Madhouse!

When I dare to ATEMPT to write a NORMAL fanfic, who shows up but... everybody! Absolutly hilarious. If you like the evil people read at your own risk. You might just have to kill me.

There is a crisis at Hogwarts, the students are all overweight and are eating obscene amounts of food. The Ministry must do something, so they turn to a muggle chef whose TV show has transformed Muggle school dinners. But what happens when it all goes wrong and the students start to revolt?

Caution: Should only be attempted by professional fangirls. This sort of thing can be more dangerous than playfully poking dragons and is a good way to get on Snape's hit list. OCs and tricks abound, now comes with shampoo!

Harry and Ginny go to marriage counseling with two of the strangest people they've met. Involves a mound of pillows, a bataka bat, Ginny trying to take off someone's pants, a very confused Harry, people popping out of the pillows, a bathroom spigot, and several beatings of the bataka bat. Based on the ten-minute play "Pillow Talk." Characters are OOC.

What happens when the three greatest wizards in fiction get together for a little tea party!

An answer to a challenge. Featuring: Drunk!Draco, a Wandering Trio, Voldemort, a Feline-Frog, and Discworld's Death

It is Christmas Eve and a child is waiting with a purpose.

The long-awaited sequel to the hit phenomenon "Interruptions"! This is where we learn that the boys wear accidentally dyed pink underwear, and that even the best kisser can kiss like a penguin. Featuring three-quarters of the Marauders and their girlfriends.

When Professor Trelawney's dreams of a romantic tryst with Professor Snape are interrupted by a swarm of rabid vampire bats, she must find the courage to save herself, Hogwarts, and her beloved. Not for grammar-freaks; this summary contains more sentences than the fic.

Ever wonder what a headmaster does during sumer break? Ever wonder how the Triwizard Tournament got started? Ever wonder what Olympe Maxime looks like in a bikini? Well, the last will have to be left up to your imagination. But for the rest, here's the _real_ story! Originally written for the Try-Wizard Contest

What do Ron and Hermione's son think of the new baby? (#2 in the Welcome Home series.)

Harry, Draco, Luna, a promise, and an exchange.

Ron and Hermione are to be married on this happiest of days. The twins would rather not be there when it happens.

Snape decides to branch out a bit on his upcoming assigment. Unfortunately, his target subjects are not cooperating.

...I threw an over-obsessive girlfriend, a pyromaniac, someone who's obsessed with Sirius Black, someone who's never read the Harry Potter books, and myself back into Maurader Land? You shall see!

Harry's random thoughts as he lusts after Draco. Sequel to "Could It Get Any Worse?".

In her first year teaching at Hogwarts, Hermione may not think she likes Snape very much, but she could be wrong.... Once Ginny gets involved, there's bound to be trouble. Love potions and lust potions and some crazy, nutty mix-ups, oh my! Watch out for fluffy, pink, sex-crazed bunnies and a shameful number of jokes involving stirring rods.

I am Luna, hidden mastermind. I am Loony Luna Lovegood, perceived as strange by all, confusing by most, and dim by some. I am the kook, the nut, the eccentric outsider… My absurdity frightens people at times, but for the most part, they believe I am a harmless weirdo. What these people don’t realize is that the Sorting Hat put me in Ravenclaw for a reason. I am Luna Lovegood, secret evil genius, and this is my story.

There's something strange about Lavender's pet rabbit Binky... (British version)

[Second in the Dream Trilogy] Hermione Granger embarks on a glorious adventure to discover and apprehend the nefarious Rogue Transfigurationalist, who is indiscriminately turning people into cows and rhinoceroses. Blaise Zabini, however, has set out to distract her.

"And don't take too long, Weasley, the delay on that firelegs report held our investigation up for a month."``"If you had read my report you would know that the term is 'firearms,'" said Mr. Weasley coolly. (OotP, page 132, American Edition)``Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt use their masterful powers of misdirection and invention to serve the Order- one memo at a time.

An account of a weird dream that Harry had one day in the History of Magic class.

Harry's gone ghetto, a vicious beast attacks Professor Snape, Voldie's pretty, and Hagrid's untold past is finally told! (For real this time!) Through all of this, Hermione curses the day she was conceived.

Something is very, very, very, very, very wrong with Hermione, and it is up to Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to find out what!

In this story, the Gryffindors and Slytherins are having potions class. Once again, Snape is torturing Neville in front of the class... But to Snape's surprise, Neville draws out his wand and points it at him... what will happen??

What would happen if Ron and Hermione decided to be museum thieves? When they have to steal a talking portrait who thinks a whole lot of herself from the London Institute of Thrilling and Mysterious Artifacts, all sorts of craziness takes place. Tears, laughs, a snog or two, lies, and PartnersInCrime!RonandHermione occur.

Is it too late for Harry when Voldemort is literally right behind him? Well IS it?

Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts is overshadowed by the defeat of Lord Voldemort the previous summer. Dumbledore decides to liven up the students by producing a school musical. Featuring Draco as Maria and Harry as Tony, with others in supporting roles.

Poor Ginny Snape. Quite apart from having the daftest name in the history of the world, she's got a cruel step-father, two evil stepsisters and a bad case of unrequited love for Harry Potter, The Prince Who Lived. Even worse,``she's still got her Potions essay to write, and it's already twenty-five past thirty-two in the Hogwarts kitchens.``Oh, yeah, and she's just been assigned the two most incompetent fairy godmothers in the history of the profession, at least one of whom is more concerned with political correctness than actually getting the job done and bringing about the bliss that is Twue Wuv.``Killer high heels! The curse of the toad! A thousand elephants! All this and much, much more, once upon a time...``Chapter 1 of 2: Balls

And so Harry Potter lived to a ripe old age, became Minister for Magic and had twelve children. What if at least one of Trelawney's prophecies actually came true?

A month or two before Harry received a letter that changed his life, he was having a dream about a flying motorbike. What were the thoughts and dreams of some other Hogwarts students in the days, weeks and months before they received their letters?

For the March2007 challenge. Fudge pays an unexpected visit to Hogwarts.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away. What? I'm sure that spider/acromantula had every right to be there!