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Overly Lit by Emily Granger
09/29/2003

Ron, Hermione and Harry with two fellow Gryffindors decide to sneak out one night ... only to return ... drunk!

Words: 2,402
Chapters: 1
Hits: 647
N-evil-le by maerda erised
10/24/2002

Written for a veela inc fic challenge, this story recounts the antics of a naughty Neville and the hilarity that ensues. Watch for fuzzybunny!Draco and irresistable!Ron. Lily Potter also makes a cameo appearance. And the #1 question: "Is Draco gay?" is pondered, but is it answered? Read and enjoy! And if you like, review!

Words: 5,665
Chapters: 1
Hits: 647

Harry's announcement has an electrifying effect, causing Hermione and Ron to panic, and Dumbledore to send memos to Minister Fudge and Voldemort. Mentions of H/D.

Words: 1,058
Chapters: 1
Hits: 647

It's three days until graduation, and the seventh-year students are spending a free day by the lake. Harry gets into an accident with the Giant Squid, and curiously it is Draco who saves his life. Harry has his own weird way of showing gratitude.

Words: 3,936
Chapters: 1
Hits: 647
The Question by Runzu
01/30/2005

One night in the common room Hermione reprimands Ron. He doesn't like it, so he gets loud; unfortunately, his twin brothers are around. They answer the question Ron shouted. The answer they give leaves the whole Gryffindor house traumatised.

Words: 1,105
Chapters: 1
Hits: 647

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone... everyone knows it. Most of us know it word for word. But one person doesn't and is rewriting it... with disastrous results. Fortunately for us, they have a picky beta-reader. The beta-reader always has their two cents worth to say. Who will go insane first--writer or beta-reader? Will the story be mutilated to be nearly unrecognizable?

Words: 1,909
Chapters: 1
Hits: 646

Voldemort has a daughter. It doesn't seem surprising at first, but then you find out she has a huge crush on the Boy-Who-Lived. Throw in a feast, firewhiskeys and Neville's affair with Ginny under Ron's nose, and the only thing you could get is humor. Sequel to Parvati Patil and the Depressed Boy-Who-Lived.

Words: 2,164
Chapters: 1
Hits: 646

A question from Millicent Bulstrode leads to sudden popularity for Snape. This could be the only time she gets named in a summary in my fics.

Words: 3,346
Chapters: 1
Hits: 646

Yet another Draco/Pansy one-shot that takes place from their wedding day to somewhere shortly after it. All-dialogue, short and vaguely fluffy fic.

Words: 512
Chapters: 1
Hits: 646

When Charlie Weasley comes home to the Burrow, he stops in to see Ron. Charlie hasn't seen his kid brother in what feels like an eternity. They start talking about what happened in Ron's third year at Hogwarts when Charlie gives some revealing information about one of Ron's professors.

Words: 1,610
Chapters: 1
Hits: 645

Everyone is out to get Harry. Thankfully, Harry has the power of love on his side. A parody of the "Harry Potter and the Veil of Mystery" fanfic by Semprini.

Words: 714
Chapters: 1
Hits: 645

Creepy randomness, the product of a late night and several cold pills... enjoy!

Words: 2,009
Chapters: 1
Hits: 643

Ron Weasley was your average eleven-year-old wizard at Hogwarts... He played Wizard Chess with his friends in his spare time, never missed one of those Quidditch mathces, and hated Professor Snape with every fiber in his body. This is the story of our little, innocent Ron making his way into manhood. Through embarrassing conversations with his older brothers, strange dreams featuring a certain girl, and Muggle romance novels, watch Mr. Ronald Weasley discover the art of girls and kissing. AU First Year.

Words: 1,845
Chapters: 1
Hits: 642

A Kwikspell advertisement complete with testimonials.

Words: 1,076
Chapters: 1
Hits: 642

Remus Lupin gets sacked, heads for the Hog's Head, and reminisces about Order history and procedure, including the infamous Patronus-communications.

Words: 1,665
Chapters: 1
Hits: 641

Inside, you will find a group of carefully organized poems, written by Harry Potter himself. The poems are not only undescriptive and obscure, but hilarious due to their oddities!

Words: 964
Chapters: 1
Hits: 640

Perhaps the nightmare we all dread coming to life is a situation where you have absolutely no idea what to do, and even if you did, you wouldn’t know how to go about doing it. Sunday morning, Draco Malfoy found himself in this exact predicament. Draco somehow is transported to a place he doesn't want to be. Not a romance.

Words: 3,319
Chapters: 1
Hits: 640

Excerps from the mental brainstorming session between Minerva McGonagall, an author with a headcold and writer's block, and a few meandering fictional characters looking for party snacks.

Words: 1,440
Chapters: 1
Hits: 639

Snape ponders how awful Valentine's Day can be for a lonely teacher with no real friends.

Words: 1,543
Chapters: 1
Hits: 639

Harry's friends have been kidnapped. Draco's friends have been kidnapped. What now? Read and find out.

Words: 3,975
Chapters: 1
Hits: 638

A cousin from Beauxbatons sends Blaise a very interesting invention of his. Hagrid has a new, very unusual, pet, but Mortie acquires a pet that is really undeard of...

Words: 5,869
Chapters: 2
Hits: 638

One morning, while imprisoned in Azkaban, Lucius, Crabbe Sr., and Goyle Sr. awake to discover the prison empty. They escape and meet many adventures as they attempt to make it home to their families (and beloved Master!). A hilarious parody of O Brother Where Art Thou, filtered through J.K. Rowling's universe.

Words: 5,049
Chapters: 2
Hits: 637

Sixth year at Hogwarts; Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini are using some very interesting 'substances'. When Draco and Harry place a bet, Harry completely changes in all ways and starts using the mysterious drug, too. But nothing seems to last long when the professors come up with a ‘reasonable punishment’ for the two. Who will win the bet? What will be the consequences? And why does Lucius act strangely out of character? Eventual H/D.

Words: 5,388
Chapters: 2
Hits: 637

Each of Harry's years at Hogwarts have been exciting and he expected his fifth to be the same. What he didn't expect was two new girls, Meara Redmond and Elspeth Tweedie. Seventh years with a very unique minds and personalities, ``Meara and Elspeth bring fresh humour to Hogwarts.

Words: 1,985
Chapters: 1
Hits: 636
Sleeping In by bippimousie
07/04/2005

Saturday morning in the Gryffindor boys' dorm. James grouses, Peter snores, and Remus is subjected to the poking and prodding of one Sirius Black. Curse Padfoot and his early rising tendencies!

Words: 809
Chapters: 1
Hits: 636

Humorous fic: A day in the life of Hogwarts, from the perspective of a *genuine* oakwood floorboard. features Snape, Aurors, renegade Muggles, You-Know-Who and Bertha Jorkins.

Words: 1,140
Chapters: 1
Hits: 636

In which Hermione is featured in and out of character, Ron is an unfaithful naughty boy, Dean is left with bruises but isn't important enough to get a line, Ginny seeks revenge and so does Lavender ... And all because Ronnie was in the bathroom.

Words: 1,235
Chapters: 1
Hits: 636
Footies by TeenTypist
06/10/2004

Have you ever wondered what various Potter characters wear at night to sleep in? Well, everyone is called down to the Great Hall in the middle of the night, wearing their pajamas (or not in some cases). Who's the kid walking around in footy-pajamas? And what's that stuff on Pansy's face? And why is Neville blushing? This is a humorous one-shot.

Words: 1,059
Chapters: 1
Hits: 636

The end of a lot longer than five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes (and counting). Written for the rt_challenge April 2006 ficathon.

Words: 1,400
Chapters: 1
Hits: 635

George Weasley is introducing his girlfriend to his family, and that is a doubtful success - until a young girl knocks at the door and saves the situation.

Words: 2,173
Chapters: 1
Hits: 635

Post-HBP-- Harry decides to return to seventh year at Hogwarts, and he discovers something that will help in his quest for the horcruxes a lot...

Words: 1,862
Chapters: 2
Hits: 635

Luna Lovegood is a first year, fresh off the Hogwarts Express, and within minutes, she’s already earned herself the title ‘Loony’. Things aren’t looking so good for the young girl and her invisible Harblawengs.

Words: 1,116
Chapters: 1
Hits: 635
Watching Over You by kizzibee
08/23/2003

McGonagall visits number 4, Privet Drive, in the first week of November 1981.

Words: 1,801
Chapters: 1
Hits: 635
Charlotte's Trip by Creatress
01/24/2008

A girl appears at the school. Her name is Charlotte Snape and she's from the future. She has no idea how or why she managed to travel through time, so while they figure out how to send her back, she'll stay and be a student like Mum and be taught by Dad.

Words: 2,013
Chapters: 1
Hits: 634

Really, who eats porridge anymore? A humourous story full of stew, chairs and beds. And a dancing dove gray ribbon.

Words: 1,130
Chapters: 1
Hits: 633
A MWPP Nativity by juxtaposed
12/23/2003

A Christmas fic staring MWPP in the Sixties through the eyes of a chocoholic, enthusiatic, child-loving teaching assistant. Read as she slowly loses her patience with heart throb! Sirius, Obsessed with Lily! James, and a flamboyant angel Gabriel. But will she be able to pull the show off with a jazzed up 'Away in a Manger' and keep her job?

Words: 3,190
Chapters: 1
Hits: 633

Part of my Sailing Ships Challenge. Lucius and Narcissa are in the delivery room. Lucius' hand will never be the same. And Bellatrix Just. Won't. Stop. Giggling. LuciusNarcissa

Words: 864
Chapters: 1
Hits: 632

Wormtail buys Voldemort a diary. A diary that writes back. Voldemort has a lot of "fun" being annoyed, and at the end... you'll find out.

Words: 927
Chapters: 1
Hits: 632

The boys pick on Ron about the strange dream he had in class. Professor Trelawney sprays him with a strange potion, and Hermione seems to be in a very sarcastic mood.

Words: 703
Chapters: 1
Hits: 632

The Marauders and Snape are hitting the trail, Oregon Trail to be exact. And they're not so much hitting it as watching it on James's computer.... Anyway, it's fraught with oxen, mysterious voices and horrible music. Join them, you'll have an interesting story to tell the therapist.

Words: 561
Chapters: 1
Hits: 632

Teenage Sirius Black finds his Potions Master's private``stash and decides to have a party in the dungeon.

Words: 1,116
Chapters: 1
Hits: 631
Letter Perfect by Isiscolo
03/03/2003

A romance, of a sort. Because even giant squids get lonely sometimes.

Words: 1,047
Chapters: 1
Hits: 631

Hey, you asked for it! More awful slash jokes, fandom cliches, and sudden inexplicable OOCness. This time, Seamus is being stalked. Is it the slashers, or someone more sinister, more devious... more squealing?

Words: 754
Chapters: 1
Hits: 630

Join Lord Voldemort for the everyday adventurers of his life. Discover his inner feelings on subjects and skiing.

Words: 801
Chapters: 1
Hits: 630

Join Hermione Granger as she leads you on a personal tour of Hogwarts. But things don't seem to go as smoothly as she had planned...

Words: 575
Chapters: 1
Hits: 630
Best in Show by GoldenLioness
09/26/2005

The Marauders are skint and Sirius has a Plan to make some cash. All he needs is some help from his Animagi friends - and possibly a collar with spikes.

Words: 5,682
Chapters: 2
Hits: 630

Harry, Hermione and Ron find themselves in a computer lab where they can surf the Muggle internet, and see what the shippers are saying. They are intrigued until they find out that in order to leave, they must choose their own ships. Includes action, trouble, people coming back from the dead, and lots of that nice fluff at the end.

Words: 8,616
Chapters: 1
Hits: 629
Surprise Surprise by AdGe03
06/15/2004

Adrian finds out a secret about his love. *sniggers* One-shot.

Words: 1,013
Chapters: 1
Hits: 629

Join Maria and Susannah at their first year at Hogwarts as they encounter Harry, Dumbledore, and Higgs. If you're looking for an intelligent parody, this is your story. And if you're looking for a dumb parody, this is your story, too.

Words: 4,051
Chapters: 3
Hits: 629

Harry stood in the library running his finger casually across the titles. Something strange had been going on lately. Suddenly, something caught his eye! One of the books, a large gray volume, had a small yellow sticker on it. It read RESTRICTED! Could it be? Could someone have put this book away in the wrong place by mistake? Books don't just hop off shelves and start walking around.... or do they? Either way, this intrigued Harry and he picked it up and set it on the table. Curious, he opened the first page...

Words: 1,805
Chapters: 1
Hits: 629

Harry and Draco get in stuck in a broomstick cupboard. Sound cliche? Well do you think Malfoy looks like a flobberworm? Harry/Draco

Words: 2,020
Chapters: 1
Hits: 628

So what happens when I read a deeply moving eleven-chapter story in which Draco and Harry switch bodies and Hermione is a member of a Harry-Draco love triangle? Well... let's call it Draco Dormiens in Fifteen Minutes.

Words: 2,099
Chapters: 1
Hits: 628
24 Hour High Wine by Amilas
08/19/2003

While on a date, Ron has to drag along Harry, who is VERY high from a gift that Fred and George have given him.

Words: 2,019
Chapters: 1
Hits: 628

If Hermione hadn't met the boys on the train that first day, things would most certainly be different. Featuring Metro!Ron, Loser!Harry, Stalker!Hermione, and Smoker!Ginny.

Words: 4,148
Chapters: 1
Hits: 628

In which a camera and white, bobbing fur cause some trouble for the Weasley family. Ginny Weasley travels to the Beast's castle in exchange for a grievous insult inflicted by her father on the Beast. This all seems to be the standard Beauty and Beast stuff, no? And yet, there is always a problem when the Beast is rather reluctant about being a boy again.

Words: 3,755
Chapters: 2
Hits: 628

In a tale of forks, golden tassels and cake, Ginny endures an uncomfortable meal at the Malfoys.

Words: 3,132
Chapters: 1
Hits: 627

A little AU fic in which Harry oversleeps on the day of the Quidditch Final against Slytherin, and a desperate Oliver Wood rather hastily chooses a replacement Seeker.

Words: 2,753
Chapters: 1
Hits: 627

This parody follows the adventures of Bel, a typical Mary Sue character, as she encounters Gilderoy Lockhart and other characters (not the typical ones, either), goes to Africa, and has all sorts of odd happenings along the way. Purple prose and double entendres are intelligently, if not innovatively used. Need we remind you, this is a parody. If you lack a sense of humor, enter at your own peril.

Words: 625
Chapters: 1
Hits: 627

Even Death Eaters need to stock up on the necessities sometimes, and Lord Voldemort must provide. So how does the malevolent Dark Lord handle this daunting task? Why, he goes shopping, of course! This is my first fic, and it's very silly and OOC. I hope it makes you laugh!

Words: 3,939
Chapters: 3
Hits: 627

The two Harry Potter universes have merged; The Universe of Fanfiction and the Universe of Canon. One can only imagine the chaos that ensues.

Words: 1,036
Chapters: 1
Hits: 624

Based on a fic challenge on alt.fan.harry-potter. Harry and Draco are in trouble again. This time their punishment is a little different from any they've had before. Sent to a world that isn't really real, they have two weeks to prove they can get along with each other and the residents of their temporary home.

Words: 2,561
Chapters: 1
Hits: 624

It's all fun and games until evil cat toys hex Harry's homework - then it's just fun.

Words: 613
Chapters: 1
Hits: 624

On a summer afternoon in Grimmauld Place, Ginny and Tonks find out that they have a little something in common.

Words: 1,739
Chapters: 1
Hits: 623

Kind of a sequel to my first fanfic. Harry is settling in for a quiet evening in his house when he recieves a surprise visit from Eris, the Goddess of Chaos, who offers to help him fight Voldie. Rated PG-13 for language and nudity.

Words: 2,785
Chapters: 3
Hits: 623

Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is now a celebrity Quidditch player, famous, eligible and dogged by the gutter press. His old school friend Ron Weasley, on the other hand, is working a parchment-pushing job at Gringotts, fighting a nasty temper and a tendency to get into fights with a particular Draco Malfoy.

Words: 5,142
Chapters: 1
Hits: 623

American Idol Harry Potter Style! Pointless at first, but will get better. With a hilarious panel of judges, and hilarious songs, not to mention our favorite commentator...

Words: 509
Chapters: 1
Hits: 623

Harry is going on the most vile, offensive adventure of his short career! He might get sick and puke, but at least he'll offend you! Or something like that.

Words: 1,169
Chapters: 2
Hits: 623

A holy mistake is made and Snape faces much peril.

Words: 1,625
Chapters: 1
Hits: 622

Gilderoy Lockhart is preparing for his first Yule Ball. He's seen to every detail - his hair, his eyes, his profile, his custom robes. Every detail, that is, but one. Where does one find kissing lessons? Written for the HP Kris Kringle Secret Santa Exchange.

Words: 1,512
Chapters: 1
Hits: 622

A look at fanfiction from the other side. This fic was written a decade ago. As such, the grammar and punctuation may not be up to my current standard. However, there are no current plans to rework my older fics.

Words: 3,266
Chapters: 1
Hits: 621

I was inspired by the 'Can't buy me love' thing sent in, where a reviewer said 'Do one on Paperback Writer', so I said, 'Heck, why not.' I hope someone has not already done this. Anyway, it's loosely based on the lyrics to the hit Beatles song 'Paperback Writer'.

Words: 2,326
Chapters: 1
Hits: 621

On his way to gather ‘the old crowd’, Sirius has a frightening encounter. What is a wizard to do when he knows he is about to die? Drive his best friend to distraction and beyond, that’s what! Silly challenge fic written before OotP so now totally AU.

Words: 10,633
Chapters: 1
Hits: 620

Terry Boot is the star of the highest rating apparition show in Wizarding history, the aptly named, Terry Boot Show. He is an expert at airing people’s dirtiest laundry and exposing their biggest scandals in front of thousands of viewers. But when he invites some of the most famous witches and wizards in the world on his program, he gets a little more than he bargained for. It seems Terry Boot has a little dirty laundry of his own…

Words: 2,645
Chapters: 1
Hits: 620

After seeing the boggart scene in PoA, and how Malfoy and his cronies were trying to push to the front of the line, I began to wonder what Malfoy's boggart would've been....

Words: 665
Chapters: 1
Hits: 620

Ever wondered what heroes do when they go too far with trying to rescue people? Well, it turns out...it's an illness called SUPERMAN SYNDROME! And guess what? All our favourite comic book, fictional and television heroes have it! From Buffy to Hellboy to X-Men to Lord of the Rings to Artemis Fowl and even our beloved Harry Potter...come along to the meeting and see them try to sort out their heroism. Rated 'R' for language and random acts of violence.

Words: 3,480
Chapters: 1
Hits: 620

Severus Snape challenges self-absorbed Gilderoy Lockhart to a walk-off after Harry and Draco's duel. RuPaul makes a cameo as the judge. Snape vogues.

Words: 1,977
Chapters: 1
Hits: 620

What would happen if Prof. Lockhart actually met a werewolf? One must grant that our favorite werewolf was more than fair.

Words: 2,241
Chapters: 1
Hits: 620

Ever wonder how Hogwarts came to be?

Words: 524
Chapters: 1
Hits: 619

The Weasley twins manage to destroy Voldemort and his Death Eaters? Who could have predicted it? Inspired by Monty Python.

Words: 1,721
Chapters: 1
Hits: 619

Harry finds love for one of the most unusual people. It's all good until he runs into another person he comes to love. Harry's hardest choice is still in front of him: which one to pick? In this series, Harry is caught out of bed more than once, Ron begins to get suspicious and wonders what Harry is really doing during his long absences, and Draco gets Polyjuiced. There are a lot of misunderstandings and crazy twists that will have you laughing your butt off.

Words: 3,422
Chapters: 3
Hits: 619
High-Heeled Harry by Utopian
05/26/2003

A particularly...um...random story, in which entails a rather insane infatuation with high-heels from our little hero.

Words: 1,070
Chapters: 1
Hits: 618

Why Sirius should never have been allowed to read Edgar Allan Poe. Based loosely on "The Fall of the House of Usher."

Words: 1,306
Chapters: 1
Hits: 618

For Gilderoy Lockhart, there are a few bumps on the road to recovery...

Words: 3,023
Chapters: 1
Hits: 617

This quick little story chronicles the moments right before the future Mr. and Mrs. Weasley take action on their crushes! Cute and short.

Words: 1,054
Chapters: 1
Hits: 617

This one-shot is from Snape's point-of-view just before the boggart scene in PoA. It's a tribute to all those obsessive vampire theorists.

Words: 1,312
Chapters: 1
Hits: 616

Harry and Ginny's rehearsal dinner turns out to be an interesting and humorous event.

Words: 1,522
Chapters: 1
Hits: 616

Because I really wanted Umbridge to die. AU during OotP, wherein Hermione is just a little bit more ruthless.

Words: 2,130
Chapters: 1
Hits: 616

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are passing each other in the halls one day when Malfoy mistakes an everyday bodily function for a serious illness. Draco then sets Harry up with a crazy doctor who probably doesn't even have his Ph.D. in medical school.

Words: 607
Chapters: 1
Hits: 616

On the due date of Michael Zabini's first child, he and his co-workers at the Ministry of magic have a conversation about babies and how horri- I mean how wonderful they are (yeah, right). Featuring everyone's favourite parents and Goyle senior.

Words: 905
Chapters: 1
Hits: 615

These are filks based on the musical "City of``Angels". Here you can hear Hermione's final words``before she makes the Polyjuice Potion, Neville``complain about his lack of talent, Ron fight with``Hermione over the Yule Ball, Tom Marvolo Riddle gloat``over Harry in the Chamber of Secrets and Moaning``Myrtle croon to Harry in the Prefects' Bathroom. Try``it, you'll like it!

Words: 1,758
Chapters: 1
Hits: 615

Sequel to Hermione Makes Huge Mistakes. Huge Mistakes. Mistakes that are Huge. Hermione's accepted to go to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum, even though it was a Huge Mistake. With non-descriptive snogs, jokes by Hermione Granger, and of course some trashing of Viktor Krum's accent. Because his accent is just too funny.

Words: 3,046
Chapters: 1
Hits: 615

A five hundred and fifty word drabble on why Tonks and Fleur feel a certain pull to werewolves. Hey, it's all in the animal magnetism!

Words: 550
Chapters: 1
Hits: 615

Ever since Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire's raging success, countless devoted fans have awaited the coming of the fifth book. But it does take awfully long for J.K. Rowling to write. While she is kept away from her writing and distracted by her life, Harry's now rather disoriented one marches on... A fic written in anticipation of Harry the Teenager in a flowerbed, and emphasizing the importance of keeping in character.

Words: 1,748
Chapters: 1
Hits: 615