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The adventures of Lucius Malfoy and his cane.

What do you get when you introduce characters from the Lord of the Rings series into the Potterverse? A confusing, hilarious mess filled with dark curses and jealous looks. See if Harry, Ron and Hermione can help Frodo get back to Middle Earth. And what do Draco Malfoy and Voldemort have in common? Find out in this silly, funny parody where Dark Lords abound and no one's quite sure who's related to whom.

My take on Sleeping Beauty, while using and abusing the Harry Potter characters. Inn’t it fun? Ginny as the Princess, Harry as the Prince, and Draco is my way of giving the Grimm brothers a raspberry.

This is what happens when you read too much fan fiction. It's not pretty. Rated R for language and blatant stupidity. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll run away screaming. You'll ask to have my computer destroyed.

Here's my first fanfic. It takes place in the Owlery starring the animals of Hogwarts.

Sequel to Snape's New Look. Hermione has returned to Hogwarts, looking for revenge and a husband. Could the Hogwarts staff help Hermione out? Although there is no graphic sex, this story includes smutty humor and swearing, as well as mentions of homosexuality.

This fic involves the teachers and a game of truth-or-dare.

When George accidentally smashes the Snitch at a Quidditch match, the whole school goes into hysterics. Read it or George will smash you, too.

Draco Malfoy is stuck in a hole and decides he REALLY doesn't like Green veges and the colour black- read to see what results from these stunning revelations!

Insanity, insanity. What a word. Draco loses a bet with Ron, and ends up paying the consequences with his sanity.

Professor McGonagall gives counsel to each fifth-year Gryffindor. Here's a look at what each of seven redheads has to say.

Quirrell's turban has been misused, and he's not afraid to tell it! I bring you another METMA rant!

Hermione Granger; student by day, matchmaker by... er, day. She fixes up the most seemingly unlikely people. AND IT WORKS! Kind of.

The Marauder have a big booze up after flattening Slytherin in the Quidditch cup, unfortunatly, they wake to some horrific conseqences...

Straight from the book of fables to your computer! Maybe there is a good reason why the actual book characters don't have scripts to read!

Because Draco Malfoy is an oppressed little boy-- er-- man. Also known as `Draco's Foolproof Plan to Kill Potter Dead This Time.'

Doesn't it bother you when you want to ask the Harry Potter characters a question? We have a lot of them here! And the burning questions still stays open... is Lucius really gay?

On a quest for hair gel, revenge, and a really good snog, Draco Malfoy, with only green M&M's to console him, begins to wonder if he has finally become too really really ridiculously good-looking. A ficlet in which Slytherins get crafty, though not as you might imagine, Hannah Abbot dreams of thongs, Ron goes pyro, Ginny saves the day, and in true Hollywood fashion, there are lots and lots of explosions.

Minerva McGonagall must once again teach the sex ed class for the sixth years. Exactly how will it go? A fic for the Sex Ed Challenge on the Minerva Magic Thread.

A momentary lapse in concentration leads to a stressful few days for Harry Potter.

Draco has lost a bet to Blaise. Now he has to honor it. However, Blaise has other intentions than just embarrassing the Slytherin Prince.

Harry. Ron. French kissing practise. Need I say any more?

Lucius Malfoy has a run in with a rather... odd creature in Knockturn Alley. The poor, shexshay, blond bombshell of lustable, lickab...er...I mean, the poor evil fiend. Yes. Evil fiend. That's what he is. "Okay. That would be a big yes... so... are you ready to fall madly in love with me? I mean, it’s in the rules. You meet a self-insertion and you fall in love with them and they change their name to Mary-Sue. Everyone knows that!"

The ladies of Hogwarts meet to wrestle with a directive from Dumbledore: "It is a Hogwarts tradition to always accommodate a member of the faculty."

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Ginny, Fred, & George discuss how the fanon may sway the canon. Harry and Draco each manage to demonstrate some tried but true 'moves' on Ginny.

James and Lily hold their first dinner party as a married couple, and get roped playing a truth game. Involves erotic dreams, table dancing and Indian names.

The memoirs, musings and meanderings of Malfoy Senior, written during his final year as a free man. Read all about his evil scheming, the train crash that is his love life, and his image problems (a Death-Eater's uniform is hardly the most attractive attire one could wish for, after all.)

Umbridge likes Snape. Snape DOESN'T like Umbridge. At all. Whatsoever. When Umbridge starts showing more signs of insanity than the average toadlike pink fluffball, Snape begins to think that he would rather have Potter. Cameo appearances by Mr. Diggle, a flannel wedding tux, Dorothy Gale, and an old priest who needs some money to put food on the table. Read at your own risk.

Told through a series of weekend breakfast time encounters, Hermione watches her two roommates get closer. Harry/Draco. Mentions Hermione/Ron, Draco/Ginny, Draco/Other, and Harry/Other.

A Draco redemption story! Ron and Neville bungle a spell, turning Draco and Hermione into rabbits. What happens next is normal for rabbits, but not for Hermione. It disgusts Ron, embarrasses Harry and changes how Draco sees Hermione forever.

While in Potions class one day, Hermione suddenly must confront Snape because of some "troubles" she is having.

While Ron and Hermione are occupied doing *other things*, Harry wanders about the halls of Hogwarts. He accidentally bumps into someone who calls herself Mary Sue. A ficlet that gets revenge on the plot recker!

What exactly does one get the Most-Supreme-Head-Death Eater for Christmas? Especially for 12 days? Find out!

Harry surprises Draco with a trip to the Muggle cinema to watch a certain third instalment of a series of movies about a young wizard with a lightning bolt-shaped scar. How does Draco react when he sees himself on the big screen?

Seventh year is so difficult for Harry that he must find a way to ease his workload by using an ancient potion. Of course, strange things begin happening at Hogwarts. This is a parody fic for The Firelight.

The boys are at it again! James has a vial filled with gas draft, Sirius has some itching powder, and... who turned all the owls green?

Ron knows two things without a shadow of a doubt: Malfoy is an evil prick. And Harry? Harry is gay.

It's another angst-filled year at Hogwarts. How will Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny deal And why are the girls wearing mini-skirts?

Harry plays the fiddle and Draco is the devil... But what's different about that?

From the point of view of the Mirror of Erised, who isn't terribly happy with the heart's desires he has to see!

Seamus, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Rita, Fred, Harry, Lavender and Dean show who they really love.

Harry and Hermione are finally alone and decide to have a heart to heart... with the author. Wait, I'm the author! How``does this work? Written before seeing the third movie.

One night, Harry's dreams become so real, he discovers the truth behind reality. Will he and can he handle the truth?

If Hermione hasn\\\'t been attacked by the Monster of Slytherin (yet), why is she in the hospital wing? Since almost nobody knows about the Polyjuice Potion, extremely uninformed gossip suggests some answers. Set during CoS, this is a sequel to The Substitute and the Secret.

Draco Malfoy doesn't usually wake up in a muggle school with Harry, Ron and Hermione. And what happens when he arrives at Harry's house, which is full of Potter books, movies and internet sites? Hopefully it's just a dream.

When Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew first entered Gryffindor, they had no idea that they were beginning a tradition of pranking the school at the beginning and end of every year. However, by the end of seventh year they had a reputation to uphold.

AU. The Marauders are about to face their toughest challenge yet, or challenges as the case may be. Their competition: fiery, cunning, and reckless, with no self-control and with the will and conscience to endanger others. The main problem – their competition’s at the terrible age of two.

"...there will be NO chapter called 'Lupin’s Papers' in book six, nor will there be chapters entitled 'Pettigrew’s Pamphlets,' 'Sirius’s Circulars' or 'the Pocket Crosswords of Severus Snape'." - JKRowling.com

You can learn a lot about someone from their garbage.... That's where WTV's Garbage Diggers comes in! It's the show where we raid the wizarding world's garbage. Join Harry and Ron as they uncover secrets about witches and wizards in the wizarding world. Sit back and have a laugh.

Cornelius Fudge gets depressed and seeks help. However, the help he finds isn't the best person for the job...

49 grandchildren vs Molly and Arthur Weasley. Molly and Arthur begin to make their plans for a very BIG family Christmas.

This was an answer to a challenge by Priestess of Dan. It chronicles a day in which Ginny and her daughter bond over cookies.

One Halloween in February, all hell breaks loose. Featuring CrossDressing!Harrry, Banana!Ron, DracoMalfoy!Hermione, Gothic!Hannah, an excessive use of parentheses, and a hell of a lot of pudding.

A poor, mistreated blood pop from Honeydukes ponders the *eternal* question. :) He's been treated badly (lousy no-goodniks!) and he's not afraid to tell it!

Snape thinks he's a Grand Master at chess, when Lupin challenges him to a game and a bet on the side.

Dudley finds himself in a situation where he needs Harry's assistance. Should Dudley contact his cousin? Will Harry answer him?

The sequel to my very old fic, Don't Fall to the Enemy. It is the trio's seventh year. Hermione is dating Ron. Harry is happy and single, though some suspect he likes Loony Lovegood. With NEWTs coming and her heart belonging to someone other than her boyfriend, Hermione seeks salvage in her exchange trips at the end of term. She is lucky enough to get to go away to Rome, with the other (male) valedictorian. And who is that, but her ex Draco Malfoy? Romantic entanglements at Christmas have left her feeling guilty about her other relantionship. But her heart belongs to the Jerk, not the Weasel. who will she choose? Hot and smart? Or weird and... even weirder?

Fred and George try out one of their new products on an unintended victim. Nakedness ensues!

Harry is getting ready for the date he has been waiting five years for.

Continuation from "Maybe a Couple Times, to Be Sure." This time it's the guys' turn to think it all over. How much can Ron take? How much can Harry give?

Ron wishes he could be famous like his best friend Harry, so he could get thousands of girls screaming for him. But what happens when a spell he tries to perform on a certain girl to get her to notice him goes wrong and all of the girls at Hogwarts suddenly have crushes on him (except for the one he likes)?! I'll tell you what happens: A huge, GIANT MESS! Poor Ron! How can one guy have too many girls?!

J.K. Rowling has grown frazzled from having every second of her life devoured by the menace that she created, Harry Potter. In a desperate attempt to end all her stress, she writes the very last chapter of the Harry Potter series.

The author of the bestselling books such as "Grindelwald's reign", "Minister of Magic Devladin" and "The Feghlam Creatures" brings you the new edition of Hogwarts, a History. You won't believe how accurate this is.

Nymphadora Tonks returns home from a long day of working as both an Auror and an Order member, only to be confronted by her mother. Let's just say that mother and daughter don't see eye-to-eye....

It's Harry's third year at Hogwarts and Headmaster Dumbledore has an idea. What if, for one day, everybody inside the school walls would have to compliment, well, everybody inside the school walls? Imagine the possibilities... or don't, and read this fic instead!

Sirius, James, Peter and Remus decide to play a practical joke on Snape. However, when a key ingredient is changed, their whole plan changes! Read on to find out more!

When Remus opened the door, he could smell something burning.

Draco/Norbert. Humor, except when it isn't.

You hard-going fans of FictionAlley have all read it, done by the wonderful author Abigail Nicole, "Ask Moony." Well, now her generosity has allowed one of her beloved friends to write the long-wanted "Ask Padfoot"! Here is your chance to ask Sirius your curious questions about his secret life.

Harry and Neville are questioning, and Seamus has all the answers. He is, after all, the ultimate gaydar. Will they take the test, and discover which side of the street they prefer to shop on?

AU of the Aragog scene from CoS. This time, what if they did follow the butterflies?

A political spoof of the Harry Potter series. Staring George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Condoleeza Rice, Abraham Lincoln, Sam Brownback and vairous others.

Harry wants to know more about his deceased relatives. With the help of Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, they search EVERYwhere for any information about the Potters and the Evanses. Weasley's Wizard Wheezes (Fred and George, remember them?) come out with an new treat - what are they up to now? Harry finds Bellatrix Lestrange - what will he do with her? And, find out whatever happened with poor Sirius!

The dangers of a bottle of firewhiskey, two very snarky men, and an few unsuspecting, almost-innocent bystanders.

Here it is at last: A Death Eater meeting that will never happen!! It's a parody written before GoF, poking fun at various fanfictions' plot devices and strange romantic pairings.

The boys are getting bored, there's an essay due for potions tomorrow, and Sirius is feeling unloved.

George Moran, museum conservator, is pleased to have finished his latest job. But who wrote the Principia Paper? Who are R and W and S and J? What will this stick do if he waves it?

Rita Skeeter has returned! She turns into a beetle and goes ferreting (all right, beetling) around Hogwarts and gets many, many, many interesting quotes. Some of them are veeery revealing! What are they? Who said them? You must read to find out!

I'm really bad at writing these, but I'll try. I'm tired o fall the fics where James and Lily were always together, so I'm going for something different. Sirius/Lily

This summer is going to be different than the others for Parvati Patil. For the first time in her life, she is not the one grounded in the first weeks of summer; Padma is! Oh yeah baby! And she's turning sixteen! Woo! But oh yeah, she also has a secret admirer.

Sirius is in need of a cigarette. Now. Or there will be trouble.

It's not as easy as Abracadabra.

Welcome to the story of how Voldemort tries to take over the world in five days! Followed by rookie sleuths (Harry, Hermione) who pursue him with cliches at the ready! Full of bizarre comments, random characters, pink fluffy handbags and very weird stones.

Poppy works in the hospital wing. She likes the job... it suits her and all... but then the Potions Master falls sick and she's asked to fill his position for a day. The problem is that the only class she happens to have is the Double Slytherin-Gryffindor class...

These are all filks based on the musical "1776", which portrays the circumstances surrounding the signing of the American Declaration of Independence in song. (Of course, events would have transpired a bit differently in the Wizarding World.)

Remus is The!Man. He will always be the man. Don't mess with the man. In fact, Remus is so much The!Man that Sirius and James are forced to obey his every command. So are several other Hogwarts students. But how long will all the The!Man-ness last? Is life mearly playing a sadistic joke on Remus?

This is what comes of spending too much time with three-year-olds. Ron and Ginny are at home on a rainy day, when who through the door should come? The Rat in the Hat, of course.

'Any wizard bright enough to survive for five minutes was also bright enough to realise that if there was any power in demonology, then it lay with the demons. Using it for your own purposes would be like trying to beat mice to death with a rattlesnake.'--Terry Pratchett, Eric A Harry Potter/Good Omens crossover.

The Gryffindors lost a bet to the Slytherins. The Slytherins ask the Gryffindors silly questions, which prompts the other group to answers just as crazy as the questions are.

Professor Binns is the boringest teacher in the whole wide world. And I don't care if Hermione says he's interesting -- he's boring. So, it's not like anybody, except my mum and dad, expects me to pay attention in History of Magic. They all know that there's no possible way that I'll ever survive a class like that without SOMETHING more interesting to do. So, in the light of that, my mind started wandering and I began to wonder, how could Harry kill You-Know-Who?

Ron escapes the Burrow for a moment in the summer and heads to a nearby Muggle town. There he joins up with a new friend, and has an *interesting* time.

Ron writes a Divination essay and Hermione is his inspiration.

In book 3 when Hermione and Ron are having their "differences", Harry locks them in a closet!

Harry realizes he may be the only one left in Hogwarts. (Ron/Lavender) (Hermione/Krum) (Ginny/Neville) (Seamus/Parvati) (Dean/Blaise) (Harry/Hermione)

Draco's holding a siege; Harry wants into the bath.

Harry and Ron get sent a mysterious pink sweater in the mail... waffles ensue. You might want to read Malfoy's A Girl if you don't get the ending. Inside joke...

Rummaging through a box of his parents' things, Harry finds an old photograph of the Marauders, and proves himself to be more perceptive than his parents' old friends would have thought.

Inside The Dreams of Hogwarts Students! ``Ever wanted to see inside the dreams of Hogwarts students? Well now you can! Includes Harry, Ron, and a... mudpit? Ohh, someone's got a sick fantasy! *SLASH*

It's Harry's 6th year, and Hogwarts has some new arrivals... four girls from the North American continent. One is blond, very intelligent, somewhat insane, and obsessive about her writing and killing off Ron. Two are brunettes and guitar players, one who is very smart and fond of jazz, and one who is fond of rock. The fourth girl is very strange, obsessed with Draco and his ducky socks, and quite the Ginny-hater. It seems like it's going to be an interesting year for our heroes.

Is Lupin really all that he seems? Or did he make his living the old-fashioned way, by snake-oil and flim-flam artistry?