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Severus Snape with blue hair, Minerva McGonagall in a thong, and a cussing Hermione all come together in this humorous post-Voldemort fic. Mentions of sex, homosexuality, and swearing.

“My name is Cupid Valentine, the modern day cupid. I have been sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by the fates. Apparently, the fates want me to play ‘matchmaker’ for two unsuspecting students.”… “So, yeah; the fates have played a horrible, horrible trick on these two students, who are supposed to be victims of my ‘arrow’. But, hey, they’re the fates, right? The always have their reasons, right?”

This was my submission for an old The Restricted Section fiction challenge. Ever wonder why Draco looked so morose as he watched the crowd in Flourish & Blotts in the Chamber of Secrets movie? Find all of your answers within!

Ron promised Hermione that he would always love her. Pity he didn’t count on one very successful business trip, that’s provided him``with much more than just your average jet-lag. How will Hermione deal with the news``that her precious Ron had gone gada-bouting off with some city floozy? Look out citizens of Britain, because Hurricane Hermione is coming your way. D/HR- based loosely on``the movie 'Addicted to love' starring Meg Ryan and Matthew Broderick.

Drusilla Quigley returns once more to interview none other than Albus Dumbledore. So what makes everyone's favorite headmaster tick? Miss Quigley is about to find out, and she's going to have an interesting article to write indeed...

One lonely night after the Dark Lord's Defeat, Professor Snape decides he wants to have sex. As blunt as that.

It's not that their sex life is boring, no, but... well, Sirius has always been the experimental kind... Remus won't come out of it unscathed.``Padfoot/Remus, because you have to face it: they probably tried it at least once.

Our beloved Potions Master finds himself in a bar to relieve his mind of stress, but wait, who could that be? up on stage? in that fabulous outfit? singing that fabulous song? None other than......

Lily must choose between two very different boys. Lily/Severus, Lily/James, Sirius/Remus

Yes, it's that time again...the Trio are back at Hogwarts, and it seems that a 'special event' has been organised for the amusement of students and teachers alike. Expect character manipulation by the All-Knowing Authoress, random references to certain SHIPs, and the return of a certain winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile award...

Fred and George Weasley are forced to travel to a dangerous pit to save Remus Lupin from death by boredom. On the way, they encounter a million plot holes, everyone of them more ludicrous than the first.

Sixth year. Harry Potter has had enough. Much more worn and cynical after the chaotic events of his fifth year, he wants to be heard as an individual. Not as a hero, not as an attention-craving and possibly insane teen, not as the figurehead for the light, and definitely not as a child. Harry Potter wants to be heard as himself. He wants to learn how to defeat Voldemort on his own and not have to conform to the mould that society has seemingly made for him. He's taking his destiny into his own hands. What better way to be heard than by the media itself? Enter writer Harrison Evans, whose very opinions and existence affect the rising war itself dramatically. Only a select few know that it's Harry. And he wants to keep it that way.

As the bottle spins in fast circles, I wonder how we got to this point. It all started with a simple game: you spin the bottle, you kiss whoever it lands on, no big deal. Then somehow it changed. It turned into a game of truth or dare--not a big deal either, right? But then, it changed again.

What if, all the world's a stage, and the characters of HP fan fiction are actors? This is the story of what happened between 'gigs', when characters meet in the Great Hall to share their complaints about how they're portrayed. Dumbledore has been rooted out of retirement after 'dying', James has doubts about Harry's paternity, Remus rants, and Voldemort does a Gilderoy. In short, mayhem ensues. These are not Jo's sterling characters. This group of players has been forced to enact some of the most atrocious parts in fan fiction-dom, and they're all primed and ready for the casting grouch.

The things that surprise students of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry are those that are not magical.

What do get when you add a particularly reactive spider, a Potions Master, and a five foot free fall? A recipe for endless insanity.

Harry Potter, Arthur Weasley, his son Ronald Weasley, HIS wife Hermione Granger, and THEIR son Viktor all go to the Dursley house for a barbeque. To their surprise, there is not much of a fight from the awful family. "Dudley was everywhere, covering every wall in a mosaic of constantly more recent and much larger (due to the size of the boy in question) photos. In fact, it seemed almost as if a group of girls came and decorated the room as if Dudley was actually the lead singer in a pop group."

It's the rant of Hermione. The fact Ron meant for her, him dating Lavender, her first kiss with Ron. Its pretty much AU since the time line is out of whack. I am well aware of the fact that Ron broke up with Lavender after March, but it's set around Christmas, and it's my story just go read it!

What do you get when you have three spirits plus Ron and Hermione around Christmas time? A Christmas Carol! Weasley Style!

A mysterious stranger shows up at Hogwarts and puts on a show for the whole school and in particular, Harry. Why does she look so familiar?

So what does it matter if Fred Weasley has a crush? Who cares? George and Lee do. Fred will do anything to keep them from finding out just who the lucky lady might be. Who knows what could happen?

Luna is sure she knows what to expect when she spends the weekend with Dean for the first time.

It's our favorite gang of Gryffindors' sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Follow them through the year as they make friends with the spicy new American student, fall in and out of love, get into fights, and discover themselves. And what would another year at Hogwarts be without the gang getting into a little bit of trouble...

Just read it and find out. What Harry is doing during Potions one terribly hilarious day.

George has always had a place in his heart for Katie Bell. It was always thought the two of them would get together. George had thought he'd never see her again after his and Fred's escape from Hogwarts. Yet, somehow, they found each other once more. But this time she has a boyfriend, but there's something about him that George doesn't quite trust and he's willing to do whatever it takes to get her back again.

A sweet and funny Potterverse version of the Sleeping Beauty fairy tale. Except she's not beautiful, she's not sleeping, and, well, maybe 'she' isn't the right word... Harry/Snape slash, AU

There's a thin line between love and hate. Is Harry Potter going to cross it? It's more than likely, with meddling twins, his raging hormones and one delectable blond Slytherin breaking into the Gryffindor common room one night ... Harry starts to wonder. Why the hell did he ever think he was straight? Disclaimer: Everything but the plot JK owns :(

Yes, it's yet another Snape visits the Dursleys fic, but this one takes place about 15 years pre-OoP. Snape has some important information for Dumbledore, but how can he avoid endangering himself? Can these thoroughly pathetic muggles somehow help? Inspired by a popular theory in fandom.

This is an incredibly G-rated fic. Everyone and everything in this fic is sickeningly happy. The characters are polite, courteous, and enjoy building sand castles. (This includes Voldie!)

...and you thought The Wizard of Oz couldn't get much better... now with all your favorite Hogwarts kids and a lemony fresh scent!

This is the sequel to "The Adventures of Lord Voldemort." Join Lord Voldemort, Bella, Lucius, Narcissa, Crabbe, Goyle, and Rabastan on the European jaunt of their lives! This is from Lord Voldemort's point of view in diary form. A little random. A LOT of crazy.

A humourous fic about Hermione, Ron and a misunderstanding over wizardporn.

Sirius and James have some fun...at Remus' expense. (Poor Remus.)

Against her better judgement, Hermione agreed to be George's 'date' to a business function. She just didn't plan to still be his date several months on. Follow up to Seven. You don't have to read Seven to understand, but it may help.

An extremely belated Valentine story, 'My Funny Valentine' follows Harry and Ginny as they prepare for Valentines' Day, while also becoming matchmakers for the lovestruck and awkward couple, Hermione and Ron. A bet made with a group of Gryffindor 3rd Years sure isn't going to make it any easier!

Hermione is slowly losing her marbles and develops an unhealthy obsession with Snape ... to his horror. The task of saving what is left of her sanity falls upon him of all people. What is wrong with Hermione and can he help her? Written before HBP, therefore AU.

Lily and James are friends, and neither of them think they would ever get together. So Lily sets James up with her best friend, and the two really hit it off. But then Lily gets these feelings...Little does she know that James feels the exact same way...

Seamus is full of the love. And Firewhiskey. And he probably shouldn't have made that bet with Theodore Nott.

Harry appears in the desert, naked. I don't need to say anything else about this story.

Oliver Wood: More singers, more failures and more… Gilderoy Lockhart! Weekdays, seven to eight on your Weally Wunderful Wizawds Watcher! And remember... more Gilderoy!

He could see it in her eyes, but he hadn’t a bloody clue what to do about it.

A songfic inspired by the song "I Wanna Be With You" by Mandy Moore. -- Hermione is alone in a library, studying by candlelight... or is supposed to be. She can't seem to get that blasted Quidditch Captain out of her head. And what is she to do when who should appear, but Oliver himself? -- A light-hearted short piece with Oliver's wits and humor and Hermione's look on things...

You've read the books. You've seen the movies. So naturally you think you know the Harry Potter Series. Right? Wrong! A tale of hilarity, randomness, sudden Apparation, and instantaneous subject change ensues while you ask yourself, 'What are they smoking?'

Lily Evans led a normal life. She had three best friends, intellect, looks- a normal life. But whoever said normal was boring, well, they were dead wrong! Especially with the Marauders and Voldemort steadily gaining power! Sixth year - ? with lots of flashbacks.

Dr. and Dr. Granger have a perfectly ordinary evening, when something very odd occurs. What do they do? "As a family, they made the decision to panic." Includes vampires, uncomfortable chairs, and singing hospital orderlies. The mystery of lost paperwork is solved. First in the 'First Signs of Magic' series.

Albus Dumbledore receives a letter from an old friend. Sort of. What does the letter say that would shock and confound even Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape?

This may only be humorous to some people, others may find it non humorous.````Snape's had a finger bitten off by a Mittleween, Fleur's got a job at Hogwarts & Draco's in love. Bizarre? Extremely.

What would happen if three of Hogwarts most respected teachers had to leave and the school was left in the unsafe hands of Harry Potter, Gilderoy Lockhart and Remus Lupin? Well...this is a good place to find out.

Jerry Springer invites some Dark Lords and their mistresses over to drag out the dirty laundry and find out just what makes these women hot for the villain.

For some, the course of true love runs as smooth as a bare-buttocked slide down a dirt and gravel road. The newly formed Magical Community Relations and Social Planning Task Force have taken it upon themselves to pair up Wizarding Britain’s most prominent youngsters. Now, if only someone would tell them that Pansy Parkinson and Ronald Weasley are completely wrong for each other.

Harry seeks revenge and Draco is totally clueless!

Draco makes a bet/challenge with Harry and what better prize than a kiss? Especially one from Hermione...

He stopped talking, she stopped talking, they fought. But when he ends up screeching to the whole school he likes her, what will she do?

Before you go further, I must request that any search for a moral in this story is discarded. Now, please proceed to read the actions of the Marauders in their fifth year as they attempt to get back at Snape, woo Lily, and generally cause havoc.

To Remus's great surprise, Sirius has managed to bake a really delicious cake for his birthday. And inside the cake Remus finds something even more surprising. Mild SLASH RL/SB.

Determined to get at least one Weasley, Fudge arrests Ron for killing a Death Eater in battle. During court, when told to give his last words, Ron decides to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Harry has ADHD; Ginny is constantly being ignored; Draco is epitome of his fandom; many girls faint, cry, and scream; and a few ships get poked at.

Hermione is selected to attend an advanced magic school. She will be gone for two years. Harry, is very happy for her. Ron is having a very deep struggle with her being gone for two years.

What goes on at night in the Hospital Wing when Ron and Hermione are in there together at the end of the fifth book?

Draco Malfoy has a secret. It's a fairly innocent secret, really, but he can't risk *anyone* uncovering it. So what happens when Lucius finds out?

A simple story about Harry, Ron and Hermione sneaking into a shop on the more mature end of Diagon Alley

He paused as he heard a hissing sound from behind him. Dreading what he was about to see, Fred turned and realized there were more of those things located on the lawn and all of them were spewing the same substance. Squeaking, Fred turned to run off the lawn, but all the objects were discharging the same material. He was trapped.

1997. London. Six Slytherins share a vision and the common desire to the conquer the world... of haute couture. Warnings: HBP spoilers, naughty language and absurdist comedy!

This is just a quick "what if" list I came up with one very dead day at work. Come on, you know you love "what if" scenarios! Ninja Master Dumbledore makes a rare appearance.

Feuding houses have led Dumbledore to mix them up a bit. Features a talent show, mash potato ice cream, Mary Poppins umbrella, S&M Ginny, and more.

Arithmancy has been cancelled due to Professor Vector's illness, so the class goes to Muggle Studies. They are given a questionnaire to fill out--the modified, adapted, and considerably shortened but still insanely long registration to MONTY PYTHON AND THE QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL!!! Hermione fills it out, with hilarious consequenses.

What would happen if Albus Dumbledore discovered fanfiction? Will a fictional Draco snog a fictional Harry? What exactly has Hermione so worried? And why is Snape so reluctant to write about our favourite bushy-haired know-it-all?

Harry finds himself stuck in his cupboard again, but finds a way to contact the wizarding world. In this first chapter, a basis is set for the rest of the story, which involves lots of pain for Snape (but I love him anyway) and maybe some touches of romances, if my hormones get jacked up enough... Please read!!

A very young Sirius finds something interesting and consults James, ``leading into a barrel of trouble.

Here is your chance to watch Mary-Sues get ripped to shreds! Cliches, bad plots, and weird characterisation that only looks normal to the eye of the criminally insane (oh, and the author). ````You can tell it's good because ff.net deleted it!

Ginny Weasley feels ignored and alone in the world, so she's become an Animagus. One rainy day, she walks through Hogwarts in her form, and gets picked up by none other than Draco Malfoy! Lies, love and much more fill Ginny's life, and she no longer feel ignored.

Harry's got a cold, and he's quite cranky. What will it take to make him feel better?

*Ron/Draco* What do you get when two unsuspecting Prefects from different houses end up together in a Jacuzzi with scented bubblebath? Slash, of course!

Tonks may be Snape\'s double, Molly is worried, and Remus is, simply, Sweater.

Fondness for fanfiction strikes Hogwarts as the Internet becomes a subject in Muggle Studies. The New Marauders (second and third generation) are stuck in the middle of it. Snape threatens, July giggles, and very bad mental images are given.

After a few hints from Ron, Harry finally realizes his feelings for Hermione. But, it just so happens that she is heading to France to visit some mystery guy that Harry's never seen, just heard about. Can or will he be able to tell her he loves her? Sometimes, it's just timing...

Revenge was never funnier...

Arthur brings home a pair of Muggle trousers. What will Molly think? What mishaps will occur? Arthur discovers that Muggle clothing can be wonderful -- and dangerous. Featuring: scandalized!Molly, enthusiastic!Arthur, young!Weasley-children, and vicious!trousers.

Four friends Harry Potter-aholics from Texas find themselves accepted to Hogwarts. There they meet the notorious trio, the actors, and find that everything is not rose colored like it is said.

During the war, Dumbledore starts a series of House competitions to lighten everyone's spirits. Food consumption contests, messy eating, and Harry and Draco rivalry abound, with a side of Weasley antics! Cream pies sold separately.

Hermione's manifesto at long last! Come on, with a title like that, you just know it's gotta be funny...

Our favorite arrogant Slytherin (you know, the one everyone thinks is part-veela) rambles on about Slytherins, Dark Lords, and betrothals.

Snape, pink, Britney Spears, Harry and Ron in the invisibility ``cloak. Need I say more?

In the midst of the chaos of fifth year, Ron and Hermione were assigned to supervise the decoration of the Great Hall. Everything goes fine until two mischievous and sly third-years play a clever prank on the unsuspecting prefects, involving a traditional Christmas adornment. This slightly fluffy fic deals with the masked romance, inevitable humor and embarrassment of a very awkward first kiss.

A game of strip poker teaches Draco an interesting lesson in observation. What you see is not always what you get---or deserve. First in a series of vignettes about the Woman of Hogwarts.

Harry's fifth year is here, and he has to learn to deal with death, Evil Overlords, classes, and of course, romance and hormones abound. Dumbledore is collecting allies at``Hogwarts and making them pose as teachers, twists and surprises appear around every turn, Fudge still refuses to admit Voldemort has returned, more people break out of Azkaban, favorite (and not so favorite) characters return, new characters appear, and lots of people that might be a bit important to the plot disappear. Its a comedy. ^_^

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and the rest of the school is invited to a Karaoke Competition. Who will win and will anyone win more than just a competition?

Ron and Harry find the mirror once again. Harry sees the same thing as last time. But Ron sees something different... a girl....

Some business offers are just too good to be true. That's why Aurors Potter and Weasley are on the case. Although cases don't always go the way an Auror expects them to ...

Ron shows his support for Harry in case Harry ever decides to become gay. But as it turns out, Ron should never put ideas in Harry’s head.

Lisa Turpin gets no credit, so I wrote a fic for her. in it she talks about her mad crush on Seamus, (another good character who gets no credit,) and her friendship with Draco Malfoy. It gets better later, I promise!

It's the Marauders first year at Hogwarts when Trelawney makes her first prediction. Includes getting Lost in the forest, Davey Gudgeon losing ``an eye, and a fight between Sirius and James. Part I of a trilogy.

The Malfoys take a visit to PBS. But not all is well in the world of children's television... death, love triangles, unrequited love, and sex lies ahead. WARNING: You may never look at Barney or Ernie's ducky the same way again.

Set three years after Hermione and Ron's wedding. Hermione's about to give birth to Ron's baby, but not everything turns out the way it was expected to turn out... This date really is a special one for our fave couple! Third "chapter" in the October 5th series. You don't have to read October 5th, 1985 or October 5th, 2000 to understand the story, but I would love you if you did.

Ginny is writing in a journal again! She finds herself falling for Draco Malfoy but then quickly realizes that he's just what people describe him as: an annoying, rude jerk...and yet she can't seem to get rid of him.

There's a young girl knocking on Severus Snape's door. She's got black hair tied in a tight bun at the nape of her neck, squarish glasses sitting on her nose, and a bit of a problem.

After Fred played a prank on his family, his family have been wishing to get back at him. They just got their wish.

The Men of the Order take a little time to remember the good things in life (and drink themselves silly).

Everyone thinks that Lily and James Potter were a cute, loving couple, right? But that isn't what their friends back from Hogwarts remember.... What if Lily and James were really at each other's throats?

Everyone is sick and tired of American Transfer Student, Mary Sue, especially her Housemates, the Slytherins. It's enough to make Draco lose his composure at dinner. Pudding flies. Snape prays. Warning: Some people think this is screamingly funny. Other people think it's sick and twisted. Rated R for sexual innuendo and violence.

When Harry’s victories over Voldemort become more and``more humiliating for the Dark Lord, the annual battle evolves into a festival celebrated by the combined Wizard-Muggle world. Welcome to VoldeFest!